manners?

[MeganW]

I was raised in a conservative, upper-middle-class Southern home, so there was a priority placed on ladylike behavior, manners, etc.

 

I think I intuitively know most of the things I should be teaching my girls, but I guess I worry about forgetting to teach some things.

 

Also, I grew up in a household with just girls. I don't know the first thing about how to teach my son to be a gentleman. He's a tiny little thing, so not even strong enough to open doors (not that lack of strength stops him from trying to do it like Daddy!).

 

Can you recommend some resources for "at-home finishing school"? Preferably with some age guidelines? Something beyond say please & thank you and chew with your mouth closed.

 

I don't want kids who are merely polite, by the end of this journey, I want true little ladies and gentlemen who intuitively know the proper way to act in every situation!

 

I saw a book called "How to raise a gentleman", but it looked like it was really just the basics that everyone knows.

[angela in ohio]

This is "caught" more than "taught." Really! I know families who own and have worked through every manners book and curriculum out there, but mom and dad are naturally selfish and ill-mannered, and so are the children. Likewise, the most polite children I know come from families where mom and dad just naturally convey manners to their children.

 

We have found that teaching overarching principles is the best way to go, as they will serve in every situation. It saves the chance that a child might end up an adult in a situation new to them and do the improper thing. We have chosen to teach them to just always put others first, defer to their elders, and think of the feelings of others in their actions most. I know that is a controversial idea these days (even on these boards at times ;),) but it has served us well.

 

There will be little things that will need to be taught directly, but most of those come later when discussing formal dinners and interview manners. The best thing to do is to always model and expect appropriate manners in each and every situation with your child.

 

I know this isn't a very satisfactory answer. I was asked to speak to some women about teaching their dc to be mannerly and hospitable, and I gave them this same manner of talk, which disappointed them greatly, as they were looking for checklists. It really is the best way we have found, though. Others will give you lists and curriculum. I just encourage you to trust that you have everything you need and are perfectly capable of naturally teaching what they need.

[blakereese]

This is "caught" more than "taught." Really! I know families who own and have worked through every manners book and curriculum out there, but mom and dad are naturally selfish and ill-mannered, and so are the children. Likewise, the most polite children I know come from families where mom and dad just naturally convey manners to their children.

 

We have found that teaching overarching principles is the best way to go, as they will serve in every situation. It saves the chance that a child might end up an adult in a situation new to them and do the improper thing. We have chosen to teach them to just always put others first, defer to their elders, and think of the feelings of others in their actions most. I know that is a controversial idea these days (even on these boards at times ;),) but it has served us well.

 

There will be little things that will need to be taught directly, but most of those come later when discussing formal dinners and interview manners. The best thing to do is to always model and expect appropriate manners in each and every situation with your child.

 

I know this isn't a very satisfactory answer. I was asked to speak to some women about teaching their dc to be mannerly and hospitable, and I gave them this same manner of talk, which disappointed them greatly, as they were looking for checklists. It really is the best way we have found, though. Others will give you lists and curriculum. I just encourage you to trust that you have everything you need and are perfectly capable of naturally teaching what they need.

 

:iagree: Modeling the proper behavior/manners is really the best thing to do. Especially with children so young. They are watching every move and will react to things in ways that they have been shown. I can teach and teach a proper behavior to my kids, but they see me one time demonstrate the wrong choice, and they remember that. :glare:

 

Take your children out into all kinds of social situations...restaurants, parties, church, shopping, to your or DH's workplace, etc etc. They will learn by watching you and your spouse how to act in these surroundings and will learn a lot about proper etiquette and manners. My children have learned a lot from going out to eat and from attending family events (graduations, a funeral, bar mitzvahs) just by watching/modeling my husband and my actions.

 

HTH!

[PeterPan]

Whew, if you aren't feeling scathed yet by those replies, lol, I have a workbook I've found helpful with my own dd.

http://www.rainbowresource.com/product/Manners+Made+Easy/014235/1295226813-1790223 It's Manners Made Easy, and it's just a nice way to bring to discussion some skills we DON'T necessarily hit on at home. For instance it had all the steps to a perfect handshake. Maybe somebody else can teach that from memory, but I actually found it very helpful to have it all spelled out!

 

I assume later we'll go through some Emily Barnes or other books on etiquette too. If you go to RR and find their category Manners, they have quite a few resources. Some are boy-specific even! http://www.rainbowresource.com/prodlist.php?sid=1295226813-1790223&subject=13&category=3765

 

I don't see the problem in polite people wanting to learn how to grow in politeness. It can be a process for both of you! And like I said, I like these books. They bring up situations we haven't encountered yet. They take it beyond the habitual and bring it to the level of intentional. They give you a way to discuss it. My mother always had books on etiquette on her shelf (as well as proper dressing, etc.), as she was always trying to self-improve. I think it's a good thing.

[MGK]

There was a discussion about this a while back on the boards, and this book was recommended:

 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591280257/ref=ord_cart_shr?ie=UTF8&m=ATVPDKIKX0DER

 

I haven't purchased it yet so I can't give a personal recommendation, but it's on my wish list. :001_smile:

 

Melanie

[helena]

I enjoy reading Emily Post, Miss Manners, even books like Home Comforts: http://www.amazon.com/Home-Comforts-Science-Keeping-House/dp/0743272862/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295229727&sr=1-1.

I keep them on my bedside table, and thumb through them often.

Reading those books keeps me on my toes, and reminds me of things I need to bring to the girls attention.

 

I make a habit of checking out, and collecting kid's books on manners (and reading them to the kids :001_smile:). I keep it casual and consistent. I also have to make sure I keep the books age appropriate, an 11yo girl does not want to read a "baby book" on etiquette. This week I asked my daughters to read a Munro Leaf book on speaking politely, and my 11yo refused half way through..:lol: OOPS!

 

One more thought..

One year we did a tea journal and I found many books on the subject focused on the etiquette of tea. It was a fun way to work on manners (manners with tradition). It was also a nice way to show manners in other cultures.

 

hth

:bigear:

[blakereese]

I'm sorry. I did not mean to make scathing remarks. Not at all. I'm sorry if it seemed that way.

 

There are a lot of books out there, a lot of good books, and I have a few. I was just trying to say that as much as my kids will like a book, and I will feel like they are really responding well to it, I still see that they learn a lot of this behavior by watching DH and me (and others, too). And of course they don't learn all good behavior. As much as we try, we do make mistakes in front of them, and try to let that be a learning experience as well. But we definitely look through books, and talk about manners pretty much daily.

 

But as far as books, here is one I really like. Manners Can Be Fun Yes, it is a bit old school, I think I like it because I remember it from when I was young. :)

[cindergretta]

FWIW, I didn't find the replies scathing. :grouphug:

 

One thing that I read years ago (I can't remember who said it :confused: ) was that "manners are meant to make others more comfortable; not a weapon with which to beat each other over the head."

[Dinsfamily]

FWIW, I didn't find the replies scathing. :grouphug:

 

One thing that I read years ago (I can't remember who said it :confused: ) was that "manners are meant to make others more comfortable; not a weapon with which to beat each other over the head."

 

I've heard this also and I do find that I'm more comfortable when I know the proper way of things in different situations...eating a formal dinner comes to mind.

 

I took a formal class (set up through my Girl Scout leader) in either late elementary or jr. high. It seems like it wouldn't be too hard to set something up like that yourself at some point or find something offered in your community.

 

I'm glad you brought this up because I'd like to teach my boys some formal lessons on manners too and am going to look at the resources listed.

[helena]

I forgot to add the titles of some books we've enjoyed:

Munro Leaf books on manners (for the younger set ;))

http://www.amazon.com/How-Behave-Why-Munro-Leaf/dp/0789306840/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295235400&sr=1-1

A Little Book of Manners..

http://www.amazon.com/Little-Book-Manners-Courtesy-Kindness/dp/1565076788/ref=pd_sim_b_6

Emily Post's Guide to Good Manners for Kids

http://www.amazon.com/Emily-Posts-Guide-Good-Manners/dp/0060571969/ref=pd_sim_b_21

I hesitated to buy this one at a library sale because we aren't Christian, and the cover looked strange, I'm so glad I decided to get it. It's an easy format to follow and covers a lot of information:

The Family Book of Manners

http://www.amazon.com/Family-Book-Manners-Hermine-Hartley/dp/1557483876/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1295235015&sr=1-1

[Ellie]

Own copies of Miss Manners' books; read them for yourself, teach your dc what you learn. FTR, Miss Manners says it takes 18 years of constant nagging to rear a well-mannered child. :D

[cbollin]

here's one more opinion....

 

As the mom of several special needs children including one with autism, I understand the need that these skills need to be taught and are not caught.

sigh.... frustrating at times knowing the children need step by step instruction on many things and frustrating that I don't have energy to make a time motion study on it.

 

 

and that much of what seems obvious to us as adults isn't obvious to the children. That's why we have to help them learn in ways that they learn best, and teach in ways that we teach best.

 

add this resource to your list to look over.

http://www.theetiquettefactory.com/

 

Practice the skills at home, or go to a fancy restaurant at lunch time (cheaper), realize you will make mistakes and the kids will catch that, show them the proper way to say "excuse me" and then go do the right thing.

 

-crystal

[MeganW]

DH & I are good-mannered and it is ingrained, so they definitely see that. This quote pretty much sums up my concerns, better than I explained it:

 

 

here's one more opinion....

 

As the mom of several special needs children including one with autism, I understand the need that these skills need to be taught and are not caught.

sigh.... frustrating at times knowing the children need step by step instruction on many things and frustrating that I don't have energy to make a time motion study on it.

 

 

and that much of what seems obvious to us as adults isn't obvious to the children. That's why we have to help them learn in ways that they learn best, and teach in ways that we teach best.

 

 

 

We do have some minor learning issues here due to prematurity, so maybe that's why I am not seeing my kids just naturally pick everything up the way others are saying they do?

 

Thanks for the suggestions! Going to check into them now! :)

[Ellie]

...We do have some minor learning issues here due to prematurity, so maybe that's why I am not seeing my kids just naturally pick everything up the way others are saying they do? :)

 

Good manners are not always caught. However, instruction should be constant, daily, sometimes minute by minute, lol, which is why my suggestion is not that you buy a curriculum of some kind. You have to consciously teach what you know, read up on what you don't know, then consciously teach that, too. And Miss Manners is my favorite for that.

[PeterPan]

Megan, I forgot how young your kids are! They're only about to turn 6, right? Indeed, you could be seeing the seeds of things you haven't even identified yet. For instance tone issues can show up as how they chew. So you get on them for chewing with their mouths open, but it's actually a sensory and oral tone thing. Or they don't seem to obey, but it's the impulsivity side of ADD showing up. Or they seem to respond inappropriately, but it's their sensory system or food or environmental allergies giving them problems. And of course there are the neurological wirings.

 

It's just a sorting out process, and I don't think anyone needs to make excuses for wanting to work on things. The trick is just to notice if there's a REASON why it's happening, or if simple teaching will take care of it.

[MeganW]

Megan, I forgot how young your kids are! They're only about to turn 6, right? Indeed, you could be seeing the seeds of things you haven't even identified yet. For instance tone issues can show up as how they chew. So you get on them for chewing with their mouths open, but it's actually a sensory and oral tone thing. Or they don't seem to obey, but it's the impulsivity side of ADD showing up. Or they seem to respond inappropriately, but it's their sensory system or food or environmental allergies giving them problems. And of course there are the neurological wirings.

 

It's just a sorting out process, and I don't think anyone needs to make excuses for wanting to work on things. The trick is just to notice if there's a REASON why it's happening, or if simple teaching will take care of it.

 

 

Yeah, they are little! I guess I just worry when I see my sister's kids (one of whom is only 2 months older than mine) and they seem so much more refined! All of my kids are either in or have recently discharged from both PT and OT, so I have people who know what they are doing watching that stuff. All four do have low tone (clearly genetic vs. prematurity as the baby has it too!), 2 are somewhat developmentally delayed (they learn at a normal rate, but are just never caught up from the first year), and one has some sort of processing issue that is yet to be fully defined.

 

I hadn't thought about how those things affected their manners, but that does make sense as to why it isn't coming as naturally as I might have hoped.

Edited January 17, 2011 by MeganW

[helena]

Yeah, they are little! I guess I just worry when I see my sister's kids (one of whom is only 2 months older than mine) and they seem so much more refined! All of my kids are either in or have recently discharged from both PT and OT, so I have people who know what they are doing watching that stuff. All four do have low tone (clearly genetic vs. prematurity as the baby has it too!), 2 are somewhat developmentally delayed (they learn at a normal rate, but are just never caught up from the first year), and one has some sort of processing issue that is yet to be fully defined.

 

I hadn't thought about how those things affected their manners, but that does make sense as to why it isn't coming as naturally as I might have hoped.

:grouphug:

Hang in there mama.

[PeterPan]

Oh yes mercy, a lot of things that I thought were just the age didn't go away with time. Your kids could have some dyspraxia (motor planning), which interestingly can affect their ability to imitate. So for instance when I SHOW my dd how to shake hands or brush teeth or do whatever, it does no good. I have to put it into words. That's where the curriculum comes in, because it gives you words for the things you're trying to accomplish, a list of steps. They aren't necessarily going to pick it up just by watching. And you may have to try a number of different ways and times till it connects.

 

My tip of the day? Kids who are loving but quirky are more enjoyable than kids with perfect manners who don't give a hoot about you. Teach them to be loving, and it will cover a lot. :)

[Mommybostic]

Yeah, they are little! I guess I just worry when I see my sister's kids (one of whom is only 2 months older than mine) and they seem so much more refined! All of my kids are either in or have recently discharged from both PT and OT, so I have people who know what they are doing watching that stuff. All four do have low tone (clearly genetic vs. prematurity as the baby has it too!), 2 are somewhat developmentally delayed (they learn at a normal rate, but are just never caught up from the first year), and one has some sort of processing issue that is yet to be fully defined.

 

I hadn't thought about how those things affected their manners, but that does make sense as to why it isn't coming as naturally as I might have hoped.

 

Also remember that you will always hold your own children to a much higher standard than the children of others. Maybe your sister thinks your kids are more mannerly than hers! :lol: Anyway, I find this is the case with me--other people are always telling me what a great kid my son is. Sometimes I think--this is the kid who rolls his eyes and never picks up after himself?

 

The fact that you are so aware of this makes me believe that your children will be raised to be mannerly! FWIW, I like Miss Manners, too, but I think the greatest influence on a son is his father.

[MeganW]

Oh yes mercy, a lot of things that I thought were just the age didn't go away with time. Your kids could have some dyspraxia (motor planning), which interestingly can affect their ability to imitate. So for instance when I SHOW my dd how to shake hands or brush teeth or do whatever, it does no good. I have to put it into words. That's where the curriculum comes in, because it gives you words for the things you're trying to accomplish, a list of steps. They aren't necessarily going to pick it up just by watching. And you may have to try a number of different ways and times till it connects.

 

 

Motor planning has been an ongoing issue as well. They can learn to do anything with enough practice, but new tasks are a nightmare. Even similar tasks are a nightmare. Recently the PT had Camille hopscotching with the best of them on an indoor mat, and then they went outside and the PT drew a hopscotch game with chalk on the sidewalk, and you would have thought Camille had never heard of the game. Or hopping. Or tossing.

 

 

 

My tip of the day? Kids who are loving but quirky are more enjoyable than kids with perfect manners who don't give a hoot about you. Teach them to be loving, and it will cover a lot. :)

 

Thank you SO much! You GET it, and so your reassurance means so much to me!!!

[MeganW]

Also remember that you will always hold your own children to a much higher standard than the children of others. Maybe your sister thinks your kids are more mannerly than hers! :lol: Anyway, I find this is the case with me--other people are always telling me what a great kid my son is. Sometimes I think--this is the kid who rolls his eyes and never picks up after himself?

 

 

 

Hilarious you say that, b/c that is exactly what my sister says! I think she is just being nice though!

[PeterPan]

Megan, are your kids on any flax or fish oils? There's some evidence that the good fats in these oils will help with dyspraxia.

[MeganW]

Megan, are your kids on any flax or fish oils? There's some evidence that the good fats in these oils will help with dyspraxia.

 

Nordic Naturals ProEFA - 1tsp every morning! (We had tried Coromega previously but didn't get any results from that.)

 

We started taking it for the one kid diagnosed with apraxia and the other 2 with just generic speech delays that didn't have a label, so speech is what I was really watching for. I wasn't really looking for changes in motor planning.

 

I saw an enormous difference in 2 kids, and no difference whatsoever in the other two. I still give it to all 4, though, b/c there is no way that 2 will consent to taking it if the other two don't have to! :)

Edited January 18, 2011 by MeganW

[Woodland_Mom]

I highly recommed Berry Stebbing's Little Annie's Art Book".

 

The cover is pink, but can totally be used with BOYS! This is a gentle introduction to manners/ettiquette and helps instill the lessons with simple art/drawing projects. Each "lesson" only takes a few minutes. The book weaves scripture passages and sayings to reinforce the importance of being polite. Many of the pages can be coloring pages. It is very easy to use - open and go!

[PeterPan]

Are you on the apraxia kids yahoo group? There's another product Nutriveyda that might help them make the next step. And are you doing PROMPT for the speech? That shouldn't be stunning that kids with low tone have motor planning problems. Apraxia of speech is motor planning too.

[MeganW]

Are you on the apraxia kids yahoo group? There's another product Nutriveyda that might help them make the next step. And are you doing PROMPT for the speech? That shouldn't be stunning that kids with low tone have motor planning problems. Apraxia of speech is motor planning too.

 

I am NOT part of the apraxia kids yahoo group. Off to google Nutriveyda & PROMPT - not sure what either of those are.

 

It really was AMAZING how much of a difference the NN made almost instantly in my apraxia kid. She went from saying one word to express herself, to using long phrases!

 

It also really reduced the time it took her to talk. I would often ask her a question "did you have fun on the playground today?", and she would just kind of look at me like she understood the question, but she wouldn't answer. Then 10 minutes later, she would say "yes". "Yes what honey?" Another long pause. "Fun playground" in an exasperated voice as if I had JUST asked the question that second. So frustrating for everyone! After starting the fish oil (in 1-2 weeks), her responses became almost normal. Maybe a hair delayed, but nothing like the delay we had before.

 

The speech/processing improvement has been amazing, but the real improvement is in her self-confidence. It was rock bottom beforehand, and she was really unhappy because of it. That caused some behavioral issues, and I am REALLY strict, so she & I were constantly battling. (I didn't really understand at the time the cause, though it seems obvious looking back.) Anyway, she is MUCH happier now, and has truly become a joy to be around (most of the time anyway)!

 

I thought the fish oil thing was a crock, but tried it just to say I had, and WOW! It really did actually work! I haven't seen any changes in months, though, but have just kept giving it to them b/c I don't want her to lose the ground she has gained!

[MeganW]

There's another product Nutriveyda that might help them make the next step.

 

 

 

Is this the one you mean? My kids are all WAAAAY underweight & short (girls are skimming the bottom of the growth chart, and James is like 10% BELOW the bottom of the chart), so I definitely don't want to do anything that would affect their growth.

 

NutriiVeda by Zrii - NutriiVeda Weight Loss Product

[golfcartmama]

Nordic Naturals ProEFA - 1tsp every morning! (We had tried Coromega previously but didn't get any results from that.)

 

We started taking it for the one kid diagnosed with apraxia and the other 2 with just generic speech delays that didn't have a label, so speech is what I was really watching for. I wasn't really looking for changes in motor planning.

 

I saw an enormous difference in 2 kids, and no difference whatsoever in the other two. I still give it to all 4, though, b/c there is no way that 2 will consent to taking it if the other two don't have to! :)

 

 

I have NOT heard this! Please tell me, do I get this at a herb shop or will the drug store sell it for children?? My DS 8 has SPD and still has some motor issues (fine tuning) and this might be the jump start we need!

[PeterPan]

 

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/childrensapraxianet/ Here's the link for that yahoo group.

[PeterPan]

Is this the one you mean? My kids are all WAAAAY underweight & short (girls are skimming the bottom of the growth chart, and James is like 10% BELOW the bottom of the chart), so I definitely don't want to do anything that would affect their growth.

 

NutriiVeda by Zrii - NutriiVeda Weight Loss Product

 

I know it says weightloss, but look at the posts in the yahoo group to see what you think. I don't think they know why it's working for the kids. It might be just overall nutritional improvement, one of the amino acids, something, don't know. And I'm not sure it's every family seeing that improvement. But some definitely are and on a scale comparable to or even better than the boost from the fish oil.

 

BTW, my ds is 2 and only doing flax oil right now. I have some fish oil I've tried with him, and I just don't know. My nutritionist is so death on it, I've been afraid to contradict her. I couldn't decide on the NV (nutriveyda) either. It was one of those things where I finally just decided to start the speech therapy (http://www.promptinstitute.org) and use flax oil and see how far we get, then add in more things if we need more.

[MeganW]

I have NOT heard this! Please tell me, do I get this at a herb shop or will the drug store sell it for children?? My DS 8 has SPD and still has some motor issues (fine tuning) and this might be the jump start we need!

 

 

I buy it off Amazon as I can't find it locally. Fish oil one of those things that works for 1/2 the kids, and makes no difference at all for others. For the ones that it works for, it's miraculous! Some people get results from Coromega, and not Nordic Naturals. Others (like us) are the exact opposite.

 

It's DEFINITELY worth a try! The Coromega is in an orange pudding-type paste. The NN comes in either a lemon-flavored liquid or capsules. If your child can take capsules, do that, b/c the liquid has to be refrigerated and even then goes rancid quickly. (I have 4 kids taking it, so we've never had it go bad, but I think almost everyone else ends up throwing away the end of the bottle!)

 

A lot of other companies sell fish oil products, but these two are known for testing for contamination and being the purest, so I wouldn't try a different brand.

 

 

If you do the NN, the ProEFA is the one you want. Some people do 2 parts ProEFA plus 1 part ProEPA. Try the ProEFA first before deciding whether you want to add more stuff. I called NN to get the correct dosage based on weight & age. My kids are tiny (like 30 pound) 5 year olds, so I can't even begin to hazard a guess at what the right dosage would be for your child. Based on advice of others, we did a double dose the first week, then went to a "maintenance" dose of the amount recommended by NN.

Edited January 18, 2011 by MeganW

[MeganW]

I know it says weightloss, but look at the posts in the yahoo group to see what you think. I don't think they know why it's working for the kids. It might be just overall nutritional improvement, one of the amino acids, something, don't know. And I'm not sure it's every family seeing that improvement. But some definitely are and on a scale comparable to or even better than the boost from the fish oil.

 

BTW, my ds is 2 and only doing flax oil right now. I have some fish oil I've tried with him, and I just don't know. My nutritionist is so death on it, I've been afraid to contradict her. I couldn't decide on the NV (nutriveyda) either. It was one of those things where I finally just decided to start the speech therapy (www.promptinstitute.org) and use flax oil and see how far we get, then add in more things if we need more.

 

 

Can I just TELL you how excited I am reading the things that they have seen an improvement in???

 

http://pursuitofresearch.org/pursuit-of-research/

 

A lot of these things are things I consider annoyances, but not high enough on my list to be a concern compared to some of our issues. I would LOOOVE it if my kids started understanding jokes! Or if Camille would quit walking around with that blank look on her face! Or if I could quit buying nighttime Pullups! (That in itself might offset the cost of the supplement!)

 

I REEEALLY would love it if this resolved our motor delays & sensory issues. Like REEEEEEALLY love it!

 

Off to order!!!! :)

[PeterPan]

Interesting! We got a surge just with the flax oil but got really sloppy with it over Christmas. I'm going to get back on the ball with that and see where it gets us. Sometimes you're spinning so many plates at once you drop a few, oops.

[PeterPan]

Well they you REALLY have to join the yahoo group, hehe. There's a new NV product coming out that is supposed to be even better. :)

[MeganW]

Interesting! We got a surge just with the flax oil but got really sloppy with it over Christmas. I'm going to get back on the ball with that and see where it gets us. Sometimes you're spinning so many plates at once you drop a few, oops.

 

Do you actually grind your own flax? I have heard that's the only way to get it fresh enough to be useful b/c it is so unstable. I just did NOT see myself grinding it everyday! Hence the reason we did the fish oil instead.

 

I don't think I have forgotten the fish oil once. Kiddos won't let me - they want their "smart kid juice"! Not b/c they actually like it, but b/c they want to be smart. :)

[PeterPan]

The fish oil I tried didn't taste like lemon. He wasn't thrilled. He doesn't appreciate the flax either, but we usually get it in. Barleans makes a banana-strawberry-flavored product, and that's what we use. I have no clue if the flax is as effective as the fish would be. It's at a different place on the dha-production, way further out. I give him 4 tsp. a day of it, which also isn't fun. So maybe in the end my 4 tsp. a day of flax is getting him to about the same place as he would be with 1 tsp. of fish oil? He's just under 30 pounds, in the high 20's. I'd have to go weigh him.

 

So no, he's less than thrilled with it, no encouraging reminders on his part.

[Ritsumei]

My tip of the day? Kids who are loving but quirky are more enjoyable than kids with perfect manners who don't give a hoot about you. Teach them to be loving, and it will cover a lot. :)

:iagree::iagree:

 

I'll take rough around the edges but loving over smoothly polite cold or quietly disrespectful any day of the week! I know people who get really hung up on things like Mr/Mrs or Brother/Sister Lastname as signs of respect, but the reality is that it's possible to be completely correct from an etiquette standpoint and still be rude and disrespectful. And it's also possible to respect someone and still be informal with them.

Edited January 18, 2011 by Ritsumei

[golfcartmama]

I buy it off Amazon as I can't find it locally. Fish oil one of those things that works for 1/2 the kids, and makes no difference at all for others. For the ones that it works for, it's miraculous! Some people get results from Coromega, and not Nordic Naturals. Others (like us) are the exact opposite.

 

It's DEFINITELY worth a try! The Coromega is in an orange pudding-type paste. The NN comes in either a lemon-flavored liquid or capsules. If your child can take capsules, do that, b/c the liquid has to be refrigerated and even then goes rancid quickly. (I have 4 kids taking it, so we've never had it go bad, but I think almost everyone else ends up throwing away the end of the bottle!)

 

A lot of other companies sell fish oil products, but these two are known for testing for contamination and being the purest, so I wouldn't try a different brand.

 

 

If you do the NN, the ProEFA is the one you want. Some people do 2 parts ProEFA plus 1 part ProEPA. Try the ProEFA first before deciding whether you want to add more stuff. I called NN to get the correct dosage based on weight & age. My kids are tiny (like 30 pound) 5 year olds, so I can't even begin to hazard a guess at what the right dosage would be for your child. Based on advice of others, we did a double dose the first week, then went to a "maintenance" dose of the amount recommended by NN.

 

 

Thank you! I'm taking this to our local herb shop tomorrow! If they don't have it, I'll check the bigger one in the next town or order online. I appreciate the help!

[FairProspects]

Wait...I have to teach manners too?!? :svengo:

 

I can't even get through the academics here without a meltdown or nose-picking session most days!

 

I think I'm glad I live on the west coast where things are a bit less formal. :D

[MeganW]

The fish oil I tried didn't taste like lemon.

 

I bet you didn't have the right brand. I did TONS and TONS of research on this at one point. The only two brands that it seems everyone agrees are pure and safe are Nordic Naturals & Coromega. The NN is the lemon one. It's not good, but it's not awful either. Two of my kids love it and beg for more, one drinks it without complaint but doesn't love it, and one hates it. (Of course the one who hates it is the one who needs it the most.) The Coromega is an orange pudding one - they all loved that and took it right off the spoon. Too bad it didn't work for us!

[MeganW]

Thank you! I'm taking this to our local herb shop tomorrow! If they don't have it, I'll check the bigger one in the next town or order online. I appreciate the help!

 

Don't let them talk you into the Omega 3-6-9. They talked me into it, saying it was the same, but apparently it isn't quite the same! You want the ProEFA, not something somewhat similar!!!

[PeterPan]

Well I think I'm going to try more with what I have and then look into the lemon one. Thanks. :)

[MeganW]

Wait...I have to teach manners too?!? :svengo:

 

I can't even get through the academics here without a meltdown or nose-picking session most days!

 

I think I'm glad I live on the west coast where things are a bit less formal. :D

 

 

You make me laugh! Here in a small town in the south, *I* am STRICTLY judged based on my kids' manners! People could care less about whether or not my kids can read, but if they forget to say "thank you", tongues are clucking! At age 5, people overlook stuff, but we aren't far from the ages where expectations start rising.

[MeganW]

Well I think I'm going to try more with what I have and then look into the lemon one. Thanks. :)

 

 

Thank YOU!!! I sometimes feel like I am the only one here who doesn't have gifted kids who are ahead in every area. In fact, I sometimes feel like I am the only person in the world who doesn't have gifted kids who potty trained at 1 and read at 3! It's so nice to see someone who understands my struggles!

 

On the whole, I am SO blessed to have kids who only have minor issues compared to what could have been, but I absolutely refuse to quit trying if there are ANY possible new solutions! Three years ago, there was no question in anyone's mind that my kids would be in special ed. At this point, they could probably make it in a mainstream classroom. They'd be at the bottom of the class, but they could do it.

 

I am so thankful that their issues are things that can be improved with hard work and supplements and therapy, and that my husband has a job that enables me to stay home and focus on doing what needs to be done.

 

And I am so thankful that there are people here like you who make me feel like I'm not quite so alone in this journey!