plain jane Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 My 4yo, who is in contention for the award of being the Most Difficult Child on the Planet is having a really bad day already... and we have not even had breakfast yet. :glare: We had a fun, but very busy day yesterday and child is overtired from going to bed late. Yes, I know this is my fault but it couldn't be helped. I knew I was going to pay for it today, but it's been 45 minutes of temper tantrum crying and this mama is losing all patience. :( Please Hive, I need some good vibes coming this way. Said child and I may not make it through this day. :glare: Also, any ideas for dealing/coping with a grumpy, overtired, irritable 4yo would be great. Said child has "issues" but we have yet to figure out exactly what's going on and are still trying to get some form of diagnosis. Until then, each day is an uphill battle with this one and this one promises to even more fun than most. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Hugs to you! Lower expectations, get outside a lot, be firm, and know we are with you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AK_Mom4 Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I agree - get him outside if you can. Fresh air might be the one thing that can turn your day around. If you can't go outside, this might be the morning to go have a cup of coffee at the McDonalds that has the indoor playground! Or possibly build him a blanket fort in the living room where he can skulk in the dark for a while..... I have one of these - DS15. To this day, physical activity is still one of his keys for improving a bad day. Hang in there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 When ds was 4, our days went much better when he got attention first thing in the am. Either his sisters or I would play with him before we started school. Then he was fine playing alone for an hour or two. He also needed protein for breakfast. Still does, as a matter of fact.:001_smile: Has he been tested for Celiac? Does he have any food allergies? I would start here, really. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mktkcb Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 yup, btdt. what Aggie and Starr said :o). Plenty of lovin, lower expectations, go out, low key. If nothing else works, toss him back in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 You've got them :grouphug:. Here's to survival, and maybe a few smiles :cheers2:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dayle in Guatemala Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 My 4yo, who is in contention for the award of being the Most Difficult Child on the Planet is having a really bad day already... and we have not even had breakfast yet. :glare: We had a fun, but very busy day yesterday and child is overtired from going to bed late. Yes, I know this is my fault but it couldn't be helped. I knew I was going to pay for it today, but it's been 45 minutes of temper tantrum crying and this mama is losing all patience. :( Please Hive, I need some good vibes coming this way. Said child and I may not make it through this day. :glare: Also, any ideas for dealing/coping with a grumpy, overtired, irritable 4yo would be great. Said child has "issues" but we have yet to figure out exactly what's going on and are still trying to get some form of diagnosis. Until then, each day is an uphill battle with this one and this one promises to even more fun than most. :tongue_smilie: :grouphug:I know how it is. DS is the same. When he was younger, we had to set really big boundaries for our family just to make sure that he wasn't over-stimulated and over-tired. I made sure that we didn't fit too much into one day and that took some creative planning on my part. But, as you said, there are times when it can't be helped. In those situations, I geared up for it all the night before. I would let him sleep in if he wanted to, make sure that when he woke up things in the house were quiet and relaxed. Make sure that I had plenty of time for quiet cuddling, reading, music, a relaxed breakfast and an easy schedule. I got as much done the night before so I wasn't running around in the morning like my usual daily routine. It worked mostly, sometimes it didn't. But, it did take the edge off and I was calmer and more relaxed and able to handle it better. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 tea, chocolate, take dog for a walk. rinse, repeat. seriously, routine, routine, routine + protein and a vitamin pill each morning (helps all sorts of things, including ADD) + mozart playing in the background (helps calm the savage beast) + reading aloud snuggling + outdoor time (play, walking, anything at all) + afternoon nap/happy horizontal hour right after lunch + no media good luck.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corraleno Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Said child has "issues" but we have yet to figure out exactly what's going on and are still trying to get some form of diagnosis. Until then, each day is an uphill battle with this one and this one promises to even more fun than most. :tongue_smilie: This may sound strange, but my advice is to act like you already have a diagnosis. Either go with your best guess (sensory processing may be one possibility) or make up a name (not "This-Child-Will-Be-the-Death-of-Me Syndrome" :tongue_smilie:). My DS was exactly the same sort of kid; we knew something was "off" but didn't know what. We eventually figured out it was a mix of ADD, Sensory Processing Disorder, and anxiety (caused by the SPD and probably partly by food allergies). My DS is 12 now, and we're dealing with the issues and he's getting much better, but when I look back on his childhood I feel really guilty for feeling the way I did about him. I still carried him around constantly, co-slept, did extended nursing, and everything else I could think of to make his life better, but sometimes I resented it. Sometimes I'd think "why couldn't I have had a normal kid???" :( And sometimes I just lost it — the nadir of my career as a mother was standing in the backyard one day when DS was 2 and was having one of those days of endless crying and needing to be with me every. single. second. and I just lost it and started screaming "What's wrong with you??? What do you want from me???" :crying: Now that I do know what's wrong with him, and what he wanted from me, I feel so bad for losing it like that. I wish I could send a message to myself back in time, saying "This boy is going to turn into the most amazingly smart, funny, loving, awesome kid! He's going to be the light of your life, and he's only asking for the things he needs. He's not being a spoiled brat or trying to make your life h*ll just for sport. His body is messing with his mind and he needs you to hold him and make him feel safe, just as much as he needs you to feed him and keep him warm. Stay calm, hold him tight, make him feel safe, and it will get better." I think if I'd seen him more as a "special needs" kid, and less of a "problem child," it would have made dealing with him much easier. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 Hope your day goes better. My almost 4 year old had a bad day yesterday. It started with ear piercing, shrill screaming, which we do not tolerate. Then it turned into running away from me, which lead to him punching me repeatedly when I caught up to him. Finally, he ended up in bed with the door closed where he fell asleep for a very early nap...as in 3 hours earlier than normal. By that point, I didn't even care that he didn't have a pull up on and would probably pee in his bed (which he did). He NEEDED a nap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaSheep Posted January 4, 2011 Share Posted January 4, 2011 I think 4 was the worst age with both of my kids. You have my sympathies. :grouphug: Ds was the WORST--partly because at that point he too was undiagnosed and I was at my wits' end trying to figure out how to manage him. I still look back at that year when things get tough and think, "At least this is not as bad as that was." And that includes the 13 year-old boy stuff we've now waded into (so far, knock wood!). By which I mean to say, sometimes it helps to know that this too shall pass, and you just have to get through until things change. My mom said something to me once that was a sort of mantra for me on those days: "I have never had a day yet that I didn't live through." And it's kind of comforting some days to think that when I DO have a day I can't live through, it will be a one-time deal. You only ever have to have ONE of those days. So sorry you're struggling now, though. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plain jane Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 Thanks all!! We survived! In fact, the day went beautifully. He's been peacefully napping for the last while and I'm about to have to get him up since it's late. I sure hope he's in a good mood. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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