s/o Simplicity Parenting-those who are following this book, how bout a support thread

[Halcyon]

Hi! I am reading this book now, and while we're fairly simple, I won't say the boys don't have a lot of toys :glare:

 

My first steps will be to trashbag the boys' room a bit more. I do this fairly frequently, but it could be done more. It's really my husband who wants to keep stuff. We DO indeed have a lot of board games: something like 20, plus 4-5 smaller games like Set, Mummy Rummy, Tipover...do those count as toys? :confused:

 

Not much in the way of electronic stuff: 2 old leapsters that are ready to be bequeathed to younger relatives, a half-broken nintendo something or other that my half sister gave my boys--i think part of the screen doesn't light up; a microphone that turns on for my younger, who likes singing; an electronic soduko game thingie....so culling those a bit won't be a problem.

 

I'm not doing the book thing; I cull my books every year for books that are too young for both my boys and I give them away, but we have a pretty organized book system and I figure, as homeschoolers, we need our books :)

 

After that, I will move on to other aspects of her book, like creating "space" time-wise and emotionally for the boys to grow imagination-wise, to be bored, etc. I am not incorporating everything from the book but just picking and choosing what I feel will help my family.

 

Anyone want to join me?

[cathmom]

I requested the book from my library, but haven't gotten it yet. I've really been wanting to go through our children's books. I suspect there's a lot we could get rid of, and then I'd like to rotate some so that the children actually see them and enjoy them.

[mcconnellboys]

We've just culled a bunch of furniture and old computers. I've been culling the school stuff I had saved from my older son (boy is it hard to get rid of that stuff). And I'm culling clothing items this week.

 

I'm hoping to get into my storage room over the Christmas holidays and do more culling. I keep thinking that since I'm not really doing much buying of items, and haven't for years now, surely my culling will begin to result in some free space some year (won't it???)....

[Halcyon]

Good for you. I am still reading the book. An interesting thing did happen today, however, that I thought I would share.

 

I have culled the boys' toys; about 25%, not the 50% yet. (getting there) We didn't have TONS to begin with, although I am eyeing the bins of "little items" next. Anyway, I pulled out some puzzzles after cleaning their room, and laid them on the floor. The room felt airier, more open, more peaceful. Both boys started in on the puzzles, and they actually worked together on one, peacefully, chatting about what piece should go in next. Now, it's not like my boys NEVER play like this, but it's rare that at some point it doesn't devolve into a bicker fest. And this time, it didn't. I'm not saying it was the "clearing of the room" that did it, but it couldn't have hurt.

 

Of course, 20 minutes later they were back to roughhousing and driving me crazy. :glare:

[Halcyon]

Found the author's website: http://www.simplicityparenting.com/

 

I just wrote a little blog post about the book on my blog, if you're interested.

Edited December 18, 2010 by Halcyon

[mcconnellboys]

That's funny! Whenever I go into my younger son's room and clean up, he always follows me in there and re-arranges his dioramas of Lego's and plays with them for days afterward. Maybe there's something about cleaning or rearranging that makes toys feel new....

[LibraryLover]

My kids can keep the toys they like. I don't get rid of anything they have not agreed to. Of course, I do get in there with them and help.

 

That's not what I took away from that book. I think organizing toys is nice, don't get me wrong.

Edited December 18, 2010 by LibraryLover

[mcconnellboys]

I didn't mean to imply that I do get rid of toys or other things that my children wish to keep, because that's not the case. I've been culling out clothes that no longer fit anyone in the house, toys and books that have been outgrown and that they have no interest in keeping, arts and crafts projects from every year since birth (kept everything), furniture, rugs, etc. we no longer use or think that any one of us will ever use again, and other such things....

[Diana B]

I loved that book - and will need to reread again soon. We have culled many things (except books!) so my son's room is pretty minimum. He's got pack-rat tendencies like my DH, so there are quite a few 'special' things he has saved - but more just things than toys. Need to find him some good shelves he can keep stuff on.

 

I need to re-read for the simplifying of rhythms. We moved about a month ago - and I think we have a better idea of our rhythms again - so now it's time to simplify and focus them so they are better for our family.

 

But I really loved his book. I think that even if you don't 'do it all', everyone can use some type of simplifying, whether it be physical (toys, books, stuff), time / rhythm or emotional.

[MomOfOneFunOne]

We've just culled more, probably well more, than 50% of my daughter's things. I just cannot tell you how much STUFF she had. It b/c ridiculous. really ridiculous. I blame myself for letting it get out of hand. I blame myself for letting my mom get away with breaking our "stop bringing that crap in our house" rules. And, I blame myself for not teaching my daughter better. Also, my mom, husband, and daughter bear a good deal of responsibility but, well, the buck stops here.

 

3 things happened at once: I read Simplicity Parenting; my daughter reached an age of transition from playing with toys to doing other stuff; my daughter asked for a very expensive gift for Christmas.

 

So, I told my daughter that if she got rid of everything she owned, I'd get her the gift (a wii, but we actually ended up getting an xbox and kinect). I was opposed to having one of these but with the possibility of getting rid of so much stuff . . . also my husband converted from my side to her side after playing with one at a friend's.

 

Pretty soon, "everything you own" was not really feasible. So, I made these can-keepers:

 

*All clothes and shoes that fit (or have grow room), are in good repair, and match something or stand alone.

 

*All accessories that are age appropriate, in good repair, match something, and only if she could manage a system for keeping and organizing them . . . which she did.

 

*All American Girls and accessories.

 

* All Lego (but no duplo).

 

*Any board games that are age appropriate AND all three family members like to play.

 

* lg box of fabric. (my daughter has, ahem, that's HAD!, a ton of dress-up clothes she loved to keep but never played with. She and her friends love piecing together their own dress-up stuff with pieces of fabric and pins and some sewing sometimes. Actually, I've really enjoyed watching her play with the fabric. She/they will make the funniest outfits and then put on plays. So, goodbye dress-up clothes! She can keep the fabric, though, and was surprisingly happy with that arrangement.

 

*All handicraft things: knitting supplies, embroidery supplies, sewing supplies. The were removed from her room and into the sewing stuff, though.

 

*2, yes 2 and ONLY 2, stuffed animals. PERIOD! She made a pile of them for each friend but then I nixed that and let her give one stuffed animal to each friend. I figured that would keep the mommies from getting mad at me!

 

*4 knickknacks. Sheesh. That was probably the most difficult.

 

Well, she did it and now that it's done, she's glad. Yes, glad!

 

Oh, books . . . She could keep any books that are appropriate now, will be, or are timeless. This was hard for both of us.

 

I almost made the rule that if it's made of plastic, it goes but our beloved legos were just not going anywhere.

 

So, that's how we did it.

 

The video game is contrary to my own feelings on simplicity parenting as a principle. We've made some pretty strict rules governing use but . . . we'll see. I am glad we made the arrangement but the jury is still out on the kinect. We're tyring to figure out the rule for usage. Right now we're thinking it will replace a movie night which is weekend evenings only. Also we agreed to only play if we're all around to play together AND only up-and-moving games, no sedentary games.

 

 

My New Year's resolution is to get moving on some of the other principles but I wanted to get the stuff out of the way b/f I started anything else.

Edited December 18, 2010 by MomOfOneFunOne

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Found the author's website: http://www.simplicityparenting.com/

 

I just wrote a little blog post about the book on my blog, if you're interested.

 

Awww! Your boys are so handsome! I LOVE that black and white!

[Soror]

Interesting, I hadn't heard of this book. I am a HUGE fan of simplifying though and make a constant effort towards that at our house. I constantly declutter. I am working hard on simplifying my work, our routines and schedules, so the basics get done and I don't have so much stress.

[Halcyon]

Maybe there's something about cleaning or rearranging that makes toys feel new....

 

 

Yes, because I think that "emptiness" allows the child to "refill" his imagination.

[Halcyon]

My kids can keep the toys they like. I don't get rid of anything they have not agreed to. Of course, I do get in there with them and help.

 

That's not what I took away from that book. I think organizing toys is nice, don't get me wrong.

 

If something is not broken, I ask them or put it in a toy bin in the garage to "refind" later. (or get rid of, if they haven't asked for it or don't want it back).

[Halcyon]

I loved that book - and will need to reread again soon. We have culled many things (except books!) so my son's room is pretty minimum. He's got pack-rat tendencies like my DH, so there are quite a few 'special' things he has saved - but more just things than toys. Need to find him some good shelves he can keep stuff on.

 

I need to re-read for the simplifying of rhythms. We moved about a month ago - and I think we have a better idea of our rhythms again - so now it's time to simplify and focus them so they are better for our family.

 

But I really loved his book. I think that even if you don't 'do it all', everyone can use some type of simplifying, whether it be physical (toys, books, stuff), time / rhythm or emotional.

 

You're right. And I need to work on the "emotional" stuff, the "exposing to adult information" that he talks about. I read the paper aloud sometimes, me thinking it's a good way to integrate the things he's learning in world history and geography to "the real world". I also thought it good to expose him to the hardships that other people around the world suffer from. But maybe not. (?)

[Halcyon]

Awww! Your boys are so handsome! I LOVE that black and white!

 

 

Thank you!

[Halcyon]

We've just culled more, probably well more, than 50% of my daughter's things. I just cannot tell you how much STUFF she had. It b/c ridiculous. really ridiculous. I blame myself for letting it get out of hand. I blame myself for letting my mom get away with breaking our "stop bringing that crap in our house" rules. And, I blame myself for not teaching my daughter better. Also, my mom, husband, and daughter bear a good deal of responsibility but, well, the buck stops here.

 

3 things happened at once: I read Simplicity Parenting; my daughter reached an age of transition from playing with toys to doing other stuff; my daughter asked for a very expensive gift for Christmas.

 

So, I told my daughter that if she got rid of everything she owned, I'd get her the gift (a wii, but we actually ended up getting an xbox and kinect). I was opposed to having one of these but with the possibility of getting rid of so much stuff . . . also my husband converted from my side to her side after playing with one at a friend's.

 

Pretty soon, "everything you own" was not really feasible. So, I made these can-keepers:

 

*All clothes and shoes that fit (or have grow room), are in good repair, and match something or stand alone.

 

*All accessories that are age appropriate, in good repair, match something, and only if she could manage a system for keeping and organizing them . . . which she did.

 

*All American Girls and accessories.

 

* All Lego (but no duplo).

 

*Any board games that are age appropriate AND all three family members like to play.

 

* lg box of fabric. (my daughter has, ahem, that's HAD!, a ton of dress-up clothes she loved to keep but never played with. She and her friends love piecing together their own dress-up stuff with pieces of fabric and pins and some sewing sometimes. Actually, I've really enjoyed watching her play with the fabric. She/they will make the funniest outfits and then put on plays. So, goodbye dress-up clothes! She can keep the fabric, though, and was surprisingly happy with that arrangement.

 

*All handicraft things: knitting supplies, embroidery supplies, sewing supplies. The were removed from her room and into the sewing stuff, though.

 

*2, yes 2 and ONLY 2, stuffed animals. PERIOD! She made a pile of them for each friend but then I nixed that and let her give one stuffed animal to each friend. I figured that would keep the mommies from getting mad at me!

 

*4 knickknacks. Sheesh. That was probably the most difficult.

 

Well, she did it and now that it's done, she's glad. Yes, glad!

 

Oh, books . . . She could keep any books that are appropriate now, will be, or are timeless. This was hard for both of us.

 

I almost made the rule that if it's made of plastic, it goes but our beloved legos were just not going anywhere.

 

So, that's how we did it.

 

The video game is contrary to my own feelings on simplicity parenting as a principle. We've made some pretty strict rules governing use but . . . we'll see. I am glad we made the arrangement but the jury is still out on the kinect. We're tyring to figure out the rule for usage. Right now we're thinking it will replace a movie night which is weekend evenings only. Also we agreed to only play if we're all around to play together AND only up-and-moving games, no sedentary games.

 

 

My New Year's resolution is to get moving on some of the other principles but I wanted to get the stuff out of the way b/f I started anything else.

 

I have to say, your post makes your family sound JUST like ours. We too are against video games, and we don't own a machine. But the little "knick knacks"--ARG! There are lots of them! We too are keeping lego and board games, and trying to keep only "open ended" games and crafts like popsicle sticks, glue, fabric, construction paper, etc.

 

Thank you for outlining how you've approached your daughter's room. Very inspiring.

[yellowperch]

I like the simplifiying toys, clothes and schedule parts of the book. It was helpful that I read it right before Christmas so I could stay true to my idea of cutting way back on Christmas toys.

 

We don't have tv or watch more than 2 or 3 hours a month of media, and don't do video computer games, so that chapter made me feel great!

 

I loved the food discussion. Really, since when is food a source of daily thrills and entertainment? I'm all for a return to simple hearty meals, especially since that is what I really do anyway, except with considerable guilt that I'm not more adventurous. I just need to get the remaining 3/5 of my non-soup eaters to convert.

 

What I took away from the book that was new and unique, IMO, is the idea that we need to simplify what and how much we say, and the emotional tempo of our lives. I've been spending some time pondering that, and would lov eto hear what others think and do in that regard.

[Catwoman]

Ok, can someone give me a very brief, "in a nutshell" synopsis of the Simplicity Parenting concept?

 

I know I could visit the website, but I always get better info here! :)

 

Thanks!

 

Cat

[Soror]

I would love to hear some of the ideas as well. I cannot afford the book now and it is not available at the library:(

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Ok, can someone give me a very brief, "in a nutshell" synopsis of the Simplicity Parenting concept?

 

I know I could visit the website, but I always get better info here! :)

 

Thanks!

 

Cat

 

Well, how about . . . for the sake and sanity of your children, Simplify!

 

Simplify their possessions, their time, their access. In doing so, you allow the children to develop more of themselves by letting them actively engage their own minds and hearts and not having things and activities do it for them.

 

To get a bit wordier . . . cut down on what I would call possession pollution. Get rid of the stuff! Some things are genuine keepers but genuine keepers are fewer and further b/t than you think.

 

Cut down on highly structured activities and allow children to fill their own time stretching, creating, being.

 

Cut down on adult content via adult media (news, et c), conversations (oh my, did you hear about that serial rapist?), et c.

 

Provide ample resources (time, et c -- I would add mommy patience) for the children to find ways to engage themselves. Don't just cut out a bunch of activities but actually require that the kiddos go out to play. Then encourage the use of sticks, mud, blocks, et c. Let the kids make up their activities.

 

Add simple quotidian/seasonal routines that inspire peace, reflection. Evening read alouds, autumn foliage walk.

 

stuff like that.

 

And this is a while after reading the book, applying the info to me and mine, and trying to paraphrase w/o the book handy. sorry if I'm not true to the actual content.

[Halcyon]

What I took away from the book that was new and unique, IMO, is the idea that we need to simplify what and how much we say, and the emotional tempo of our lives. I've been spending some time pondering that, and would lov eto hear what others think and do in that regard.

 

 

Well, I think the tempo thing is something that, for our family, is addressed fairly well because we homeschool. No rush in the morning to get ready, no rushing around after school to activities, no rushing home to eat dinner and finish homework. There's more of an easy rhythm it seems, just by virtue of being homeschoolers (of course, there are a lot of hs-ers who do TONS of outside activities; we did too, at one point. But we've cut down to what is manageable to our family). I think as homeschoolers, my kids hear a lot more adult stuff than they probably should, simply because I am almost never without them, so they hear me discuss the grocery budget with DH, they hear me when I point out an article in the NY Times about the war in Iraq, they hear me when I voice my concern to friends about whether I shouldd go back to work. I am going to try and make more of an effort to stop talking about "adult" stuff during the day, but it's going to be hard, I think.

 

Also, I think that allowing kids a lot of empty time is important, and I am REALLY. BAD. AT. IT. I feel like their time should be filled with reading or school or educational activities or sports. But lately, I have been experimenting more with just letting them be. I have always done the "quiet time" in teh afternoon, but it doesn't happen every day. I am trying to make it happen at least 4 times a week. I sit in my room and read, and the kids figure out something quiet to do-read, play legos, draw or daydream.

[Halcyon]

From the book: quirk + stress= disorder.

 

That is my dd. She has anxiety and OCD tendencies and I think we may have found the key with this book. I really don't know how I'm going to get her onboard with getting rid of a lot of stuff. We routinely purge but she likes to hold on to things. I think we'll have to box it up and put it in the attic and then re-evaluate the stuff later on.

 

 

I would suggest the toy library idea. Pack up 90 % of her stuff, and let her trade in once every couple of weeks for a "new" set of toys from her toy bin.

[Soror]

Well, how about . . . for the sake and sanity of your children, Simplify!

 

Simplify their possessions, their time, their access. In doing so, you allow the children to develop more of themselves by letting them actively engage their own minds and hearts and not having things and activities do it for them.

 

To get a bit wordier . . . cut down on what I would call possession pollution. Get rid of the stuff! Some things are genuine keepers but genuine keepers are fewer and further b/t than you think.

 

Cut down on highly structured activities and allow children to fill their own time stretching, creating, being.

 

Cut down on adult content via adult media (news, et c), conversations (oh my, did you hear about that serial rapist?), et c.

 

Provide ample resources (time, et c -- I would add mommy patience) for the children to find ways to engage themselves. Don't just cut out a bunch of activities but actually require that the kiddos go out to play. Then encourage the use of sticks, mud, blocks, et c. Let the kids make up their activities.

 

Add simple quotidian/seasonal routines that inspire peace, reflection. Evening read alouds, autumn foliage walk.

 

stuff like that.

 

And this is a while after reading the book, applying the info to me and mine, and trying to paraphrase w/o the book handy. sorry if I'm not true to the actual content.

Thanks so much! That sounds really, really, really on par with my personal goals for our family.

[LibrarianMom]

I just finished reading this book. I'm still processing exactly how I'm going to apply these ideas, but overall I thought it was a good book. Practical without being prescriptive in how to apply the information. Several weeks ago I had the kids go through their toys and they selected quite a bit they had outgrown. I need to do a second pass through to eliminate or place in the toy library. The problem is figuring out where to put the toy library though. Then the week after Christmas, the kids and I can tackle their rooms.

[King Alfred Academy]

I am totally on board with the simplifying. I am reading the book but am only on chapter two. So much of what I have already read are things we have tried to do in our home from the beginning, but have strayed a bit. The book is helping me to get back to that place.

 

This quote really hit home and is something I am going to give some serious thought to as far as the internet being a HUGE distraction for me and threatens my connection with my boys:

"Simplification is about stripping away the distractions and clutter that monopolize our attention and threaten our connection. It's about giving kids the ease to become themselves, and giving us the ease to to pay attention. To more fully develop, and to trust, our instincts."

 

For me, it is not just about going into the boys' room with trash bags and getting rid of their stuff. It's about me getting rid of so much of the stuff that is consuming me (too many kitchen utensils, decorations I have to dust around every week, bottles of lotion, too many blog is my google reader, half used bottles of shampoo that have multiplied, needlework I "plan" on getting to, jars of candles I don't like the scent of, ect.) I don't want to spend time taking care of stuff that isn't necessary.

 

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the book and making great changes to the environment of our home. I think we all will benefit from it.

[Catwoman]

Well, how about . . . for the sake and sanity of your children, Simplify!

 

Simplify their possessions, their time, their access. In doing so, you allow the children to develop more of themselves by letting them actively engage their own minds and hearts and not having things and activities do it for them.

 

To get a bit wordier . . . cut down on what I would call possession pollution. Get rid of the stuff! Some things are genuine keepers but genuine keepers are fewer and further b/t than you think.

 

Cut down on highly structured activities and allow children to fill their own time stretching, creating, being.

 

Cut down on adult content via adult media (news, et c), conversations (oh my, did you hear about that serial rapist?), et c.

 

Provide ample resources (time, et c -- I would add mommy patience) for the children to find ways to engage themselves. Don't just cut out a bunch of activities but actually require that the kiddos go out to play. Then encourage the use of sticks, mud, blocks, et c. Let the kids make up their activities.

 

Add simple quotidian/seasonal routines that inspire peace, reflection. Evening read alouds, autumn foliage walk.

 

stuff like that.

 

And this is a while after reading the book, applying the info to me and mine, and trying to paraphrase w/o the book handy. sorry if I'm not true to the actual content.

 

Thanks so much for the info!

 

Clearly, this simplicity thing isn't going to work for us right now -- I've been shopping up a storm for Christmas! ;)

 

We already have a fairly laid-back lifestyle, and ds's days aren't overly scheduled. (They might need a little more structure, actually...) Ds probably has too much time on the computer and video games, though.

 

This is a very interesting thread, and I'm wondering if I may be able to implement some of the ideas, but still keep our stuff. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thanks again!

 

Cat

[King Alfred Academy]

From the book: quirk + stress= disorder.

 

That is my dd. She has anxiety and OCD tendencies and I think we may have found the key with this book. I really don't know how I'm going to get her onboard with getting rid of a lot of stuff. We routinely purge but she likes to hold on to things. I think we'll have to box it up and put it in the attic and then re-evaluate the stuff later on.

 

What about getting rid of the stuff that the book described as not being "keepers" but then adding a few new things she'd get excited about that would allow her to be creative and let her mind and heart soar. He used the example of adding fabric, a clothesline, and clothespins that a child would be able to create a "secret" place with. A place where she could pile up pillows and read or draw or play house in.

 

My dh and I are throwing around the idea of doing this with the boys. We plan on getting rid of some things that may be difficult for them to part with (broken Playmobil), but hope to replace it with some things we know they will love (LEGOS).

[Halcyon]

I am totally on board with the simplifying. I am reading the book but am only on chapter two. So much of what I have already read are things we have tried to do in our home from the beginning, but have strayed a bit. The book is helping me to get back to that place.

 

This quote really hit home and is something I am going to give some serious thought to as far as the internet being a HUGE distraction for me and threatens my connection with my boys:

"Simplification is about stripping away the distractions and clutter that monopolize our attention and threaten our connection. It's about giving kids the ease to become themselves, and giving us the ease to to pay attention. To more fully develop, and to trust, our instincts."

 

For me, it is not just about going into the boys' room with trash bags and getting rid of their stuff. It's about me getting rid of so much of the stuff that is consuming me (too many kitchen utensils, decorations I have to dust around every week, bottles of lotion, too many blog is my google reader, half used bottles of shampoo that have multiplied, needlework I "plan" on getting to, jars of candles I don't like the scent of, ect.) I don't want to spend time taking care of stuff that isn't necessary.

 

I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the book and making great changes to the environment of our home. I think we all will benefit from it.

 

I 100% agree with you. I have always been a 'declutterer' by nature, but I think i need to take it further and ask myself some questions, like:

 

1) why do we need 4 large metal stirring spoons?

2) do i really need to keep all that yarn? I mean, i couldd knit til I'm 80 and probably not use all of it (especially if I keep up my current pathetic rate)

3) do we need all these books? Wait. Yes. Yes we do. :D

4) do i need 8 purses, when I use ONE of them 90% of the time?

 

You get my drift. I too am doing a bathroom purge this weekend. The boy's bathroom has toothpaste, toothbrush and soap. Mine? Um..a little more than that. :D

 

Your comment about the internet also hit home. Has anyone else felt how the computer has frayed the connection with their kids? My younger son once drew a picture of me and guess what? I was in front of the computer in his drawing!!

 

I am wondering if I could possibly give up being online say, 2 whole days a week. Or maybe just allow myself to get on between the hours of 2-3 pm every day. How would this change my life? For others who struggle with a vague sense of "internet addiction", how would cutting down computer time change your life?

Edited December 19, 2010 by Halcyon

[King Alfred Academy]

I 100% agree with you. I have always been a 'declutterer' by nature, but I think i need to take it further and ask myself some questions, like:

 

1) why do we need 4 large metal stirring spoons?

2) do i really need to keep all that yarn? I mean, i couldd knit til I'm 80 and probably not use all of it (especially if I keep up my current pathetic rate)

3) do we need all these books? Wait. Yes. Yes we do. :D

4) do i need 8 purses, when I use ONE of them 90% of the time?

 

You get my drift. I too am doing a bathroom purge this weekend. The boy's bathroom has toothpaste, toothbrush and soap. Mine? Um..a little more than that. :D

 

1) One for each pot you are stirring? But, then why do you need four pots? ;)

2) Yarn...nope. Don't need it. BUT, I was thinking about taking up knitting as a hobby.

3) Don't touch the books! :D

4) You HAD to bring up the purses. :glare:

 

I *just* purged my bathroom today and it felt sooooo good! Trust me. :001_smile:

[King Alfred Academy]

Here's the blog...http://www.simplicityparenting.com/blog/

 

So much for making my google reader leaner. :glare:

[annlaura]

In my house, we all do soooo much better when we manage to tidy up. Including my DH & our dog. My DH is quite sensitive to feeling his mind is cluttered when his space is cluttered. I am naturally a clutter bug, so I have to work to remain mindful of this. I think the brain clutter of too many distractions is the worst though. Being fully in the now as much/often as possible makes the biggest difference in the character of our days. I am a big fan of rearranging too. Switching the location of the toys helps the boys look at them in new ways. I even like to rearrange some furniture once in a while - changes how we view and use the space. I rearrange the books too. Like many of you, I find books particularly hard to part with.

[Catwoman]

4) do i need 8 purses, when I use ONE of them 90% of the time?

 

 

Yes. Yes, you do. :D

 

(Happy to help you with that one!)

 

Cat

[King Alfred Academy]

What about getting rid of the stuff that the book described as not being "keepers" but then adding a few new things she'd get excited about that would allow her to be creative and let her mind and heart soar. He used the example of adding fabric, a clothesline, and clothespins that a child would be able to create a "secret" place with. A place where she could pile up pillows and read or draw or play house in.

 

QUOTE]

 

That is what we talked about today. She would like a curtain around the bottom of the loft bed for a "secret" place and an area to do crafts. We talked about making room for what she loves. I think I will have to do it slow when I'd like to do it quick. She will probably freak and resist if I go too fast.

 

As I mentioned, I haven't read the book (it's in the mail) but I read a lot in the sample on Amazon. It appears that he likes schedules for meals and the like. I'm horrible about waking up times, going to bed times, meals are when we're hungry not a specific time. We have A LOT of down time and are only scheduled heavily for one day a week. My dd watches way too much tv. She likes it on for company. She is never on the computer and doesn't play her DS much. I suspect this transition will take months and I have to be okay with that.

 

LOVE the idea of the curtain on her loft bed. What a fun "secret" place for her.

 

Bolded: Yep. Take your time. It's a big change and sometimes change takes time. I plan on introducing the changes slowly. One of my boys does not do well with too many changes done quickly. After all, I am trying to cut down on the behavior issues, not enhance them! ;)

[annlaura]

Yes! about the internet. I am so easily drawn to "just check one thing" far too often. I have gone for long stretches with just checking emails in the morning and then reading blogs, forums, and searching after boys are in bed. It does make a difference. Background tv is quite distracting too.

[King Alfred Academy]

Something else I came across on the internet that might be helpful: http://rhythmofthehome.com/

 

It's an online magazine and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I read it. :001_smile:

[Halcyon]

OkaY, so today I'm going to do some more "cleansing" of our home-simplifying, reducing and donating. I got a huge tub at Big Lots yesterday for our toy library, so I am hoping to put a lot of stuff into there.

 

One thing that resonated with me about the book: he talks about how we often buy "storage units" and bins and things to "hide" our clutter (guilty!) but really, he says, you shouldn't need that many of those bins--you should just clear what's inside of them away. I have often "hidden" things neatly in bins or closets. I figure, hey, you can't see it, it looks pretty and neat, so what's the problem? But I think mentally and emotionally, that "stuff" just weighs you down. You "know" it's there, despite hiding it aesthetically. Does this make sense to anyone?

[MomOfOneFunOne]

Do you remember that commercial where the family was overwhelmed with clutter, they (in fast forward) tidied everything into storage boxes. Then they stopped, looked at the camera and exclaimed, "We need more stuff!" or something like that.

 

Obviously it was an ad for the storage boxes.

[Soror]

I 100% agree with you. I have always been a 'declutterer' by nature, but I think i need to take it further and ask myself some questions, like:

 

1) why do we need 4 large metal stirring spoons?

2) do i really need to keep all that yarn? I mean, i couldd knit til I'm 80 and probably not use all of it (especially if I keep up my current pathetic rate)

3) do we need all these books? Wait. Yes. Yes we do. :D

4) do i need 8 purses, when I use ONE of them 90% of the time?

 

You get my drift. I too am doing a bathroom purge this weekend. The boy's bathroom has toothpaste, toothbrush and soap. Mine? Um..a little more than that. :D

 

Your comment about the internet also hit home. Has anyone else felt how the computer has frayed the connection with their kids? My younger son once drew a picture of me and guess what? I was in front of the computer in his drawing!!

 

I am wondering if I could possibly give up being online say, 2 whole days a week. Or maybe just allow myself to get on between the hours of 2-3 pm every day. How would this change my life? For others who struggle with a vague sense of "internet addiction", how would cutting down computer time change your life?

 

Yep, I agree about the internet. I go off of it every year for Lent and everything is better for everyone then. I have so much more time. I try to keep my time to the mornings before they wake up and quiet time, which is still too much but an improvment anyway.

 

I am a natural declutterer as well- all the stuff really does interfere with my well being. I do however go back and forth- a certain amount of things makes things feel cozy and too little sparse. I want the house to feel more homey but without clutterer- that goes in picking out the right things to feel our space.

 

I like making sure what we do have is working for us. I am trying to streamline our things and schedules so everything gets done as easily and quickly as possible. We have had improvment this year in this area but still much to work on. I can keep the back half of the house in good shape rather effortlessly. The kitchen still is not running some as possible though. We often run late and end up running around getting everything together.

 

I think the running late is a lot of mental stress and clutter. It is the biggest thing I want to change for the new year.

[Halcyon]

I think the running late is a lot of mental stress and clutter. It is the biggest thing I want to change for the new year.

 

Good for you. When I lived in Manhattan in a small apt (we moved last year to Florida) I was always running late, always stressed, we could rarely find what we needed to get out. Since moving to Florida, we have a more relaxed pace for sure, but we also have a larger space. We've also decluttered a lot since moving, so it's quite "empty". This means that it's quite easy to find what we're looking for when we need to get out. Everything has its "spot" and because there isn't a lot of clutter, it's easy to find things.

[Soror]

I try to arrange things so I have very few times that we have to be someplace at a certain time. But I cannot completely eliminate it. I need to figure out exactly why we keep running late. I think often I just underestimate the time to get us all ready. How long it takes to get myself together. The older kids don't take much time, the do most everything for themselves. The baby of course has to be changed- clothes and diaper. I end up not leaving enough time though. We usually make it on time, which is I guess an improvement, but I hate that hurried feeling and rush to push everyone so we do make it. I don't like feeling aggravated at other drivers, or people or such waiting on them so I do make it. My kids have taken to saying "We're running late" as I say it so much. I am sure at this point it is little motivation. I also need better routines for those time when we have to be someplace.

[happyWImom]

I haven't read the book, but I just ordered it. Maybe my question is answered in the book, but I'll ask you ladies, anyway.

 

Both of my dc are very big on saving everything. Every little thing they draw, any little craft, scrap of paper, items they "might" make something with-you name it. How do I declutter that kind of stuff??

 

Periodically, I go through the drawers & bins where they have old drawings and stuff and get rid of a lot, but I have to wait for a long time and make sure they've forgotten about the stuff, otherwise they ask, and get really upset if it's gone.

 

We have so much paper and clutter everywhere. I'm anxious to read this book, but I'm wondering if we'll be able to do it.

[Halcyon]

I think you have to do it slowly with them. My sense is that if something like this isn't addressed slowly but proactively when they're younger, they COULD (I'm saying COULD) grow up to have packrat tendencies.

 

What do you think is their reason for wanting to hold onto things so very much? Security?

[happyWImom]

I think you have to do it slowly with them. My sense is that if something like this isn't addressed slowly but proactively when they're younger, they COULD (I'm saying COULD) grow up to have packrat tendencies.

 

What do you think is their reason for wanting to hold onto things so very much? Security?

 

I think dd's issue is very much security. She has anxiety issues, and we just started seeing a therapist that does cognative behavior therapy. I didn't even think about it until you asked what their reason for holding onto things was, but this is definitely something for me to bring up and have him help us with!

 

Thanks, I feel better about this now!:001_smile:

[Soror]

My kids are a bit of organizers like me but my son likes to hold onto things. My tactic has been to give them so much space to keep things and let them decide what it is to keep and what to get rid of- that seems to help. I got my daughter a bulletin board to hang some of her things, but haven't found one yet for him(that I can afford anyway).

[Halcyon]

I think dd's issue is very much security. She has anxiety issues, and we just started seeing a therapist that does cognative behavior therapy. I didn't even think about it until you asked what their reason for holding onto things was, but this is definitely something for me to bring up and have him help us with!

 

Thanks, I feel better about this now!:001_smile:

 

I figured it was anxiety (can you tell I suffer from anxiety myself? LOL) I really think if it's something you pay attention to, you can absolutely help her learn to let go of things (and not just material things, either).

 

So glad your dd is seeing someone who is helping her!

[Halcyon]

So today i just about finished the boys' room. Still a few things to take care of, but basically it's done. Both my boys like to find and collect tiny "treasures", like old screws, seaglass, charms etc so they each have a "treasure chest" where these items must stay when not in use. Other than that, I am about 90% done with the "tiny toys" in their room.

 

Debating about putting a good chunk of their board games in the garage, and just having 2-3 games in their room. Then rotate those out. DH is against it, saying "we'll never play with them" if they're out there, but I disagree. I think having just 2-3 in the house will allow my kids the mental space to play with those 2-3 much more readily.

 

That's what I'm seeing with their toys, anyways.

[justamouse]

I haven't read the book, but I just ordered it. Maybe my question is answered in the book, but I'll ask you ladies, anyway.

 

Both of my dc are very big on saving everything. Every little thing they draw, any little craft, scrap of paper, items they "might" make something with-you name it. How do I declutter that kind of stuff??

 

Periodically, I go through the drawers & bins where they have old drawings and stuff and get rid of a lot, but I have to wait for a long time and make sure they've forgotten about the stuff, otherwise they ask, and get really upset if it's gone.

 

We have so much paper and clutter everywhere. I'm anxious to read this book, but I'm wondering if we'll be able to do it.

 

I'm going to order the book to read, but I wanted to give you an idea for this that I use with my saver kids--though I do it with all of my kids.

 

Make them a yearly scrapbook of THEM. Their report cards, pictures, milestones favorite paintings, drawing, whatnot. They have to choose, punch holes in them and throw them in the three ring binder for the year. They can decorate the front, color, but this is supposed to be simple-not as consuming as a "scrapbook" with the stamping and digital art stuff-no. Simple. For them, every year. And this way they learn to choose what is most important to them.

[In the Rain]

Make them a yearly scrapbook of THEM. Their report cards, pictures, milestones favorite paintings, drawing, whatnot. They have to choose, punch holes in them and throw them in the three ring binder for the year. They can decorate the front, color, but this is supposed to be simple-not as consuming as a "scrapbook" with the stamping and digital art stuff-no. Simple. For them, every year. And this way they learn to choose what is most important to them.

 

I do the same thing to help MYSELF! :lol: I make a yearbook for each of my girls. I include their best artwork. It makes it easier for me to let the rest go.

[LittleIzumi]

We've probably cut 50-75% of the toys and 50% at least of the clothes, and it's WONDERFUL. So I think I really ought to read this book :tongue_smilie:. I just got mad at the constant mess and mega-purged. I also cut some of the dishes. We had too many so they would pile up. The dds don't mind about the toys at all, surprisingly. Dd will actually tell me I need to throw more away if the playroom gets messy, lol!