Video games...how much, how often?

[persephone43]

I broke down and am getting my son an xbox for Christmas. He is ten and he couldn't think of anything else he wanted. He is very physically active and prrefers the real world to gaming unlike a lot of boys his age. I have decided that i am buying only sports games and absolutely nothing violent. My question is how often do you let your kids play per day/week? I was thinking 30minutes on school days and one hour on weekends...but Then again I'm not sure I want him to play it daily. In my eyes it's mostly a rainy day activity to do after reading, art and family time fun are over.

Here is my major delima: We soon will be living with my sister who has four boys. They literally play ALL DAY. EVERYDAY. I'm worried that this will rub off on my son eventually so I want to set up a time limit in advance. Normally I would not have imposed any rules. He had a playstation previously and played it only after he had been outside all day doing "boy things"...but still rarely. Mostly he would play when friends came over, which of course worries me now that he will be living with 4 inactive "gamers".

Thoughts?

[KS_]

Well, our limit is 30 minutes a day with the possibility to get some more time based on school attitude and writing assignments (I have a very challenging ds and this is one thing that at least helps make him focus more in school and not throw fits every day). So my dc can earn a bonus of about an hour per week with that.

[NanceXToo]

I am one of those parents who are strict about some things and lenient about others. When it comes to television and video games, I am much more lenient than a lot of other parents are. I do monitor CONTENT...they do not watch or play anything inappropriate/mature or anything like that. But the things they are allowed to play, I don't really limit much when or how often they can play them.

 

And truthfully, that does not stop them from fully living life in all other ways. Yes, when they get a new game, they want to play nonstop for a while. But that never lasts- eventually the novelty wears off. And when it does, they are back to doing a million other things.

 

And while they are playing, they're usually learning a lot.

 

And if something more interesting comes up- a chance for a field trip, a friend knocking at the door, they're always willing to set the game aside and go do something else for a while. I really do feel that even without the strict limitations, they have a good balance to their lives.

 

They will play their handheld Nintendo DS's whenever they want. We have a Playstation 3. We have a Wii. My 10 year old daughter loves to play all of those. But she also loves to read. She loves to do crafts. She loves to ride her bike and play outside with friends. She loves Girl Scouts, she loves Judo, she loves soccer, she loves her library book club, she loves when we go on outings and field trips, she loves to help cook and bake things and so on. I really do feel she has a good balance- even if there are occasions where she's spending more time on one thing or another...it all balances out in the end.

 

So, truly, I just haven't been worried about video games or television or monitoring and/or limiting how much time is spent on them.

 

When I was a kid, those things weren't limited for me, either, and I think I turned out fine!

 

ALSO: READ THIS ARTICLE!!!! :D

 

http://sandradodd.com/game/nintendogold

[MariannNOVA]

Well, our limit is 30 minutes a day with the possibility to get some more time based on school attitude and writing assignments (I have a very challenging ds and this is one thing that at least helps make him focus more in school and not throw fits every day). So my dc can earn a bonus of about an hour per week with that.

 

In red: same here. However, my ds10 does have a screen addiction so his screen time is almost nil. Dh and I will allow him 'maybe' 1 hour per month - really, one hour -- 30 minutes on two Saturdays -- that's all he can handle. He would sit there 24/7 if we allowed it - although that does not sound at all like your ds. And, our guy is very active, but LOVES to sit in front of the screen. Only games rated E here, and dh will now sit with ds 'if' he is allowed screen time and interact with him while he plays.

 

It's funny as I read what the quoted poster wrote -- kids are ALL so different -- my ds would throw a fit every day IF he was given the opportunity to play video games every day. It doesn't work here as an incentive.

 

That, however, does not sound like an issue you have to deal with -- my dd11 can play and stop - no issues, but the twins (ds10 and dd10), nope.

 

You might clearly state guidelines for amount of screen time with your ds and go from there - he doesn't sound to me like there is an issue as far as being glued to the screen.

[BMW]

My stand-by rule is no video games Mon.-Thurs. The focus should be on school work and family time around the dinner table. When this rule slips, I always regret it... someone ends up not getting done the more important things...

 

Then the children can look forward to Friday night games! I let them play unlimited AFTER chores are done on weekends... to a certain extent. We usually have place to go and things to do... with grandparents or the boat or something, so that naturally limits their time.

 

Dh has a harder time limiting them. It's easy to fall into the trap of using the games for rewards or take them away as consequences and then find yourself negotiating video games regularly. Why would I want to do that? I don't. So, when that creeps into life, I turn it right around and go back to the rules.... then they know what to expect and IF they get to play, it is gravy... or icing...

[elegantlion]

I broke down and am getting my son an xbox for Christmas. He is ten and he couldn't think of anything else he wanted. He is very physically active and prrefers the real world to gaming unlike a lot of boys his age. I have decided that i am buying only sports games and absolutely nothing violent. My question is how often do you let your kids play per day/week? I was thinking 30minutes on school days and one hour on weekends...but Then again I'm not sure I want him to play it daily. In my eyes it's mostly a rainy day activity to do after reading, art and family time fun are over.

Here is my major delima: We soon will be living with my sister who has four boys. They literally play ALL DAY. EVERYDAY. I'm worried that this will rub off on my son eventually so I want to set up a time limit in advance. Normally I would not have imposed any rules. He had a playstation previously and played it only after he had been outside all day doing "boy things"...but still rarely. Mostly he would play when friends came over, which of course worries me now that he will be living with 4 inactive "gamers".

Thoughts?

 

We fall into the more lenient camp as well. Like pp my son will play more when he has a new game, then it tapers off.

 

However, once you move in with your sister will you be able to stick with your limits and not isolate your ds from the other boys? Are they allowed to play games you would be uncomfortable with? Honestly I would discuss the issue with your sister. Even though my ds is allowed more time we always try to be aware of what rules there are in his friends' homes. In the past I've discussed it with the parents and make sure I understand their rules. I will limit ds's time on a game when he has guests or ask that they do something else.

 

If I were limiting time I would lean towards having more time on the weekends and no time during the week. 30 minutes on a game, especially one that has levels, can be frustrating. You just get into the game and then you have to sign off. I mean how many of us can get on the internet for "just" 30 minutes. :001_huh: I'd probably do a couple hours each day on the weekend, maybe adding some time when they get a new game.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

We have a wii and they are allowed to play games on it for a 1/2 hour per day. They can play more when it's exercise motivated or if they are playing as a group.

[Mimm]

I let my kids have hour long turns in the afternoon but they don't ask to play on a daily basis. It ends up being a couple times a week. On the weekends, they can play for a couple hours per day, but they have to have chores done.

[persephone43]

However, once you move in with your sister will you be able to stick with your limits and not isolate your ds from the other boys? Are they allowed to play games you would be uncomfortable with? Honestly I would discuss the issue with your sister. [=QUOTE]

 

 

 

We have talked a little and I do need to talk to her more. It's actually her husband more than her that thinks non-stop gaming is okay. But she allows it. As for me, I have pretty strong opinions on this...I rarely watch TV but am on the internet a lot (mostly on here or doing research). But they are quite different. The TV(s) are on constantly and I think this is how they maintain sanity with 4 boys. They are wonderful parents and devote a lot of time to carting them around to sports/boy scouts etc. but we have very different views on what is acceptable screen time. I feel kids should be outside, exploring nature and being creative. I don’t allow my kids to watch TV except for movies we all watch together. They allow the boys to fall asleep with the TV on. I’m afraid my sister and I may butt heads over this. I don’t want to come into their home and immediately cause conflict because we differ on what is acceptable screen time for children. *sigh* They are giving me a wonderful opportunity to stay home with my son and teach him...and for me to go back to school myself, free of rent. They are wonderful and generous and I am very fortunate. I just know this will be an issue and I’m not sure what to do about it.

If I limit his time, will he be isolated from the boys a lot? Probably. Which is sad because he seems really happy to have boy cousins that he will get to play with daily. But they don’t really play...they game.

Ok, so am I over-reacting?

[Princess Peach]

My kids each play 30 minutes a day on the Wii. They play 45 minutes on Saturday and none on Sunday. If they need to be punished during school, they get time taken away in 5 minute increments.

 

I, however, have no time limit. Bwahaha! :tongue_smilie:

[katilac]

I honestly think that you are going to have to adjust your expectations if you expect to live happily with your sister. Do they home school also? If so, all the more difficult, y'know?

 

You don't have to let your son play as much or as often as they do, but if you are all living in the same house, I think you need to face the fact that he's going to play more often than he would in your ideal world. You might want to plan on hs'ing out of the house on some days, at the library, starbucks, etc. and also plan lots of park days and so forth. You may get results by very actively encouraging all the boys to play outside and with other things: take them to the park, buy them nerf guns, oversee cool craft/hands-on activities. Never with any comment, of course, just offer fun alternatives.

[ChiMomNP]

The xbox and wii can be used starting on Friday at 5 PM until Sunday at 5 PM for a maximum of 10 hours in total. He has to pay a $1.00/hr out of his weekly allowance to play. We just had to limit his use of the computer as well. He plays Minecraft and Starcraft II which are great games but he was playing every. single. night. to the exclusion of all else. So right now he is grounded from all electronics for a week because of attitude. Next week I will probably allow him to be on the computer playing minecraft and/or starcraft on weekends only as well.

[persephone43]

I honestly think that you are going to have to adjust your expectations if you expect to live happily with your sister. Do they home school also? If so, all the more difficult, y'know?

 

You don't have to let your son play as much or as often as they do, but if you are all living in the same house, I think you need to face the fact that he's going to play more often than he would in your ideal world. You might want to plan on hs'ing out of the house on some days, at the library, starbucks, etc. and also plan lots of park days and so forth. You may get results by very actively encouraging all the boys to play outside and with other things: take them to the park, buy them nerf guns, oversee cool craft/hands-on activities. Never with any comment, of course, just offer fun alternatives.

 

No, they are in ps, except for the almost 4 year old. I may eventually start teaching him as well, when he is ready. So most of the day should be quiet. I guess I can be helpful in gently redirecting their time to other things. I was thinking about including them in our read-alouds, nature study and science projects. Maybe I can slowly show them all a different way, instead of just complaining :)

Thanks for the responses. I feel a little better.

[katilac]

No, they are in ps, except for the almost 4 year old. I may eventually start teaching him as well, when he is ready. So most of the day should be quiet. I guess I can be helpful in gently redirecting their time to other things. I was thinking about including them in our read-alouds, nature study and science projects. Maybe I can slowly show them all a different way, instead of just complaining :)

Thanks for the responses. I feel a little better.

 

Ah, well, that's a huge help. In between their school day, and having an engaging option to include them in many afternoons, much of the time will be occupied!

 

((and you didn't sound like you were complaining))