Teens and computer usage, especially Facebook

[Quiver0f10]

I am asking about the 15-17 age group. If you allow them to have a FB page, do you have a certain time of night that they have to be off the computer by?

 

Thanks :)

[katemary63]

I try not to make rules unless there is a problem that needs to be fixed. If my teen was on the computer all night, then yes, I'm set a time. say 11:00? Or what ever time it is that they need to be asleep by to function well the next day. Other then that, the only FB control I've used is being my kid's friend. You can see everything they post and that their friends post. Check it daily. This is a necessity in my opinion. My oldest is a youth group leader at her church. She is FB friends with the jr high girls in her group. The things they post on FB would fry your brain. Where are their parents???

[southcarolinamom]

11 PM is our time limit here....

 

I'm also "friends" with about half of my children's "friends" on Facebook, just so I can keep a quiet eye on their goings-on.

 

My 15 yo dd would say I was "stalking," but I told her "If you put it on Facebook, you've just made your news public, so be careful what you write!"

 

They may not be friends with ANYONE they do not know personally, and are to let me know any time they add a friend.

[Wheres Toto]

My dd is required to have me as one of her friends and I need to know her password as well. Other than that, I don't set a time because with her dance/cheer schedule she often is on the computer late doing homework. We have a deal currently - if she gets up for school without needing to be called twice (dh wakes her up before he leaves for work in the morning), she can set her own "bed"time. In the beginning she had a few rough mornings but she's gotten very good at self-regulating now and making sure she gets enough sleep. We only have a year and a half before she'll be at college. I'd like her to learn the self discipline now rather than go crazy then.

[mommaduck]

My teen is generally on at 5am, before school, and while his siblings are asleep. But he uses FB to play games. He could care less about social networking.

[Laurie4b]

11 PM is our time limit here....

 

I'm also "friends" with about half of my children's "friends" on Facebook, just so I can keep a quiet eye on their goings-on.

 

My 15 yo dd would say I was "stalking," but I told her "If you put it on Facebook, you've just made your news public, so be careful what you write!"

 

They may not be friends with ANYONE they do not know personally, and are to let me know any time they add a friend.

 

:lol: re: stalking! I am apparently, according to my teen, a stalker as well. So if I am interested in a person and go to their page, that is stalking. And if I wonder what so-and-so meant by that wall post and go to their page, that is stalking. :lol: I"m with you---it's public info!

[Jackie in AR]

I try not to make rules unless there is a problem that needs to be fixed. If my teen was on the computer all night, then yes, I'm set a time. say 11:00? Or what ever time it is that they need to be asleep by to function well the next day. Other then that, the only FB control I've used is being my kid's friend. You can see everything they post and that their friends post. Check it daily. This is a necessity in my opinion. My oldest is a youth group leader at her church. She is FB friends with the jr high girls in her group. The things they post on FB would fry your brain. Where are their parents???

 

:iagree:

 

Generally, my two boys (quickly approaching 16) are in bed by 11 during the week and get up around 7. (Teenaged dd usually goes to bed earlier than this and gets up later than the boys do - she just needs more sleep right now.) If they wanted to stay up past that time to mess around on the computer, we would have a problem with that and take appropriate action.

 

Dh never gets on his FB account, but I'm friends with all of my dc and several of their friends. I agree with Kate that sometimes very inappropriate things are posted. For example, one of dd's 13yo friends had an app that brought up her "lover of the day" (chosen from among her male FB friends) for a few days, but thankfully that was terminated pretty quickly.

[southcarolinamom]

:lol: re: stalking! I am apparently, according to my teen, a stalker as well. So if I am interested in a person and go to their page, that is stalking. And if I wonder what so-and-so meant by that wall post and go to their page, that is stalking. :lol: I"m with you---it's public info!

 

Yeah, what's up with that?! :lol:

[RoughCollie]

All kids off computer and all electronic devices by 9 pm. This way their brains have time to calm down before they go to sleep.

 

"Try to avoid the TV, computer and telephone in the hour before you go to bed. Stick to quiet, calm activities, and you’ll fall asleep much more easily! "

 

http://www.sleepfoundation.org/article/sleep-topics/teens-and-sleep

[Quiver0f10]

Thanks for the replies. Nice to see what others are doing. I do have my teens as friends and their passwords.

[vonfirmath]

I try not to make rules unless there is a problem that needs to be fixed. If my teen was on the computer all night, then yes, I'm set a time. say 11:00? Or what ever time it is that they need to be asleep by to function well the next day. Other then that, the only FB control I've used is being my kid's friend. You can see everything they post and that their friends post. Check it daily. This is a necessity in my opinion. My oldest is a youth group leader at her church. She is FB friends with the jr high girls in her group. The things they post on FB would fry your brain. Where are their parents???

 

Note. I just found out you can set permissions on individual statues to lock out particular people so just being a friend does NOT mean you see everything your child posts. If they are wanting to hide from you, they hit the little "lock" on the status and click 'Custom' And then put your name in the These People box under "Hide This From"

[Starr]

I think we all sleep better if the computer is off and there is some transition time before bed.

[stansclan89]

We've had problems with boys and the internet, but no problems with facebook itself. All kids are off the computer by 9pm and not back on until 8am here.

[amy g.]

16 and 14 year old have to be off the computer at 10:00 pm. 16 year old is back on at 5:00 am while she drinks her coffee and before she starts chores.

[Mabelen]

Note. I just found out you can set permissions on individual statues to lock out particular people so just being a friend does NOT mean you see everything your child posts. If they are wanting to hide from you, they hit the little "lock" on the status and click 'Custom' And then put your name in the These People box under "Hide This From"

 

This is true and I use this capability myself, but as long as you have their password you can always sign in with their username and check everything they -and their friends- posted!

[Renee in NC]

I am asking about the 15-17 age group. If you allow them to have a FB page, do you have a certain time of night that they have to be off the computer by?

 

Thanks :)

 

At 15, yes. At 16-17, no, because I am (hopefully) transitioning them to adulthood (and self-regulation) by then. Who knows if I'll still think that when the rest of them get that age!:tongue_smilie:

[Quiver0f10]

Thanks again everyone! :)

[justasque]

At 15, yes. At 16-17, no, because I am (hopefully) transitioning them to adulthood (and self-regulation) by then.

 

This part of parenting is so important! Being able to make their own decisions while still under momma's watchful eye is a great way to transition to adulthood, IMHO. I'm so glad I got to watch other wise mommas do this before I had to do it myself!

[Jane Elliot]

I am asking about the 15-17 age group. If you allow them to have a FB page, do you have a certain time of night that they have to be off the computer by?

 

Thanks :)

 

I hate Facebook. We finally made a rule here. No Facebook until you're 18. So then we had problems with Skype. Now the rule is: No Skype after 9. They need their sleep at that age!

[CLHCO]

Yes, partly because I have one teen who tends to lose herself in "socializing"... don't know where she gets that from. :tongue_smilie:

 

We have the K9 filter installed on their netbooks with the night guard set to block it at 10pm every night until 5 or 6am. However, mine blocks too on the main computer. (I do have the password, but I try not to abuse unblocking.)

 

I limit time on select sites through Leechblock on firefox as well, since we worked out a deal up front on internet usage vs. time spent on other priorities. If priorities are met, time can increase. However, I have been trying to hold by the same standards and I have Leechblock set for things on my "time waster" list as well, so I'm not asking more of them than I ask of myself, since we have the same weakness.

[Peela]

I am still fussy about my kids getting enough sleep- the recommended is 9.25 hours for teenagers. Many teenagers get much less than this. I have found that mind really do need that much and they agree, except when they want to stay up late :)

 

We have a rule...no computers or TV after 9pm. That is still "bedtime" around here....and no, they don't actually have to go to sleep, but its the only way I can set up a transition time between electronics, which are well used and loved around here up to the last second, and sleep time.

Since both have mobile phones with internet coverage...they can still do FB in their bedrooms from their phones. But fortunately, most of the time (and they are still learning), they are asleep by 10 or soon after.

 

And yes....my kids used the 'parental block' which is somewhere in there under settings..until we realised we weren't actually seeing their posts.