Crissy Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 She is very sick. We don't expect her to be with us for too many months beyond the holiday season. There is nothing she 'needs' for Christmas, but I know she would appreciate notes or letters from all of us recalling good memories or telling her what we have always loved about her. I will certainly be giving her this kind of gift, but I wonder if I am out of line if I ask my kids to give the same. My older son is 16 and closer to my mom than most people on this earth. I know that a letter from him would mean the world to her. My younger son is 11 and loves his Nana so much. He is also a very special boy in her life and kind words from him would make her so happy. But. Is this a terrible thing to ask of my boys? On one hand I think it would go a long way toward helping them deal with her impending death. On the other hand, I wonder if it would be too much for them. I sure don't want to ruin their Christmas, and I am trying to recognize whether this thing that seems important to me could be hurtful to them. If this was your situation and your 16 and 11 year old sons, what would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 How about making a scrapbook for her, and each family member has to make a page for it? They can include a note to her, their handprint, a poem, a drawing, whatever they desire. Turn it into a family thing where everyone has to do their part. I don't think giving a gift to her will hurt your boys. What is lurking in the corridors of your mind may not be how they see things. If it's just a gift, it's just a gift. No talk of "honey, write grandma a goodbye poem" it's just "let's make Grandma's Christmas present! She's going to love it!" Do you know what I mean? Just because you're thinking about what is to come, doesn't mean asking the kids to do this will harm them and ruin their Christmas. Help them to enjoy life with her, loving the living, you know? :grouphug: It's got to be hard, I do feel for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I like the scrapbook idea a lot. And Crissy, I'm so terribly sorry about your mom. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I don't think it would be wrong to ask them to do so. It is a lovely way to celebrate their love for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I see nothing wrong with suggesting it to the boys, as long as you can respect that it might not be how they feel comfortable expressing themselves. Maybe they will try to come up with another gift idea. Just saying. That style does not come natural to me and it shows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 (edited) I'm so sorry. It's so hard knowing you haven't long. :grouphug: Along the lines of the scrapbook idea.. how about them making a DVD for her, of songs/music - poems - anything they want to do. We used to do this for our grandparents as Christmas gifts (although back then, it was just audio on a cassette tape!) Edited November 30, 2010 by Hedgehog Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Oh, Crissy :grouphug:. I think it would be a wonderful gift you could give your Mom, and I wouldn't hesitate to ask my boys if we were facing this situation. They know their Nana is sick, and this would give them the opportunity to not have any regrets after she's gone and it would give them opportunity to bring her joy while she's here, and both of those are a wonderful gift to give your boys in the long term. I'm so sorry :grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baseball mom Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Along the same line how about a memory jar or memory book. For the jar just have a bunch of the same size pieces of paper (colored paper is pretty) and a glass jar. Everyone writes a memory on each piece of paper. Can be anything. The book would work the same way. Use a small pretty notebook or scrapbook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 I think it's a lovely idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 NO suggestions because I am in the same situation. Hugs to you. Don't think my mom will last much past Christmas. (we're hoping she will make it to Christmas) So sorry. It is really hard. I don't think my mom is even in the position to read any letters. I think it is a sweet thought and wish the best for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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