WWYD? Teens and 'surprise' painting

[Miss Sherry]

Yes, the OP stated in an additional post the parents own the property.

That's good because they have the option of having it painted however they want too. Renters would not have that option without permission from the owners.

[LizzyBee]

UPDATE:

 

DS got home from church and gave me a pretty simple update. The parents weren't in church today, but the son was. He said they loved it.

 

 

 

:hurray: I'm so glad to hear this. I think it's great that a 19 yo boy would spend his holiday weekend doing something nice for his parents and I was surprised to read such negative posts about it.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I asked my teen what he thought that dh and I would think if he did this. He thought for a while and said, "You would have a conniption fit and Dad would be mad because I didn't do something right." He knows our pickiness when it comes to stuff like that. I think that most teens esp. by age 19 should be able to figure out their parents reaction to a gift like this. And it sounds like this 19 year old was right on the money when it came to his parents.:)

[Miss Sherry]

I asked my teen what he thought that dh and I would think if he did this. He thought for a while and said, "You would have a conniption fit and Dad would be mad because I didn't do something right." He knows our pickiness when it comes to stuff like that. I think that most teens esp. by age 19 should be able to figure out their parents reaction to a gift like this. And it sounds like this 19 year old was right on the money when it came to his parents.:)

Good point.

But I would not be happy with a teen of mine going into another person's home to help a friend of theirs do some kind of project to that friends parents home without the permission of the parents. I want my teens to understand you do not intrude on other peoples property and make decisions for them.

[Abigail4476]

I'm glad it turned out well. What great kids! The OP should be proud of her son for pitching in to help.

 

Paint is an easy do-over, so I wouldn't be upset. If my kids spent a lot of time doing something like that for me (or someone else), I'd be thrilled that my years of nagging about serving others had finally sunk in. :)

[Abigail4476]

I think most 19 yo boys won't be the neatest painters. If it were me personally, I'd work hard to do all the clean-up work myself, and thank my son, and all involved, for the wonderful thing they did. I'd do all the work if I were a renter, making sure there was NO damage present.

 

I've dealt with some of this myself and thankfully my boy's hearts weren't crushed by my not appreciating their heartfelt gift.

 

:thumbup:

[justamouse]

UPDATE:

 

This family has been a huge blessing to MANY, MANY people. At one point they even adopted another teenage boy, homeschooled him and loved him despite his many traits that others would have been overwhelmed by. They are truly the most unassuming and loving people I know. I think that this is what they will see in this project. LOVE.

 

 

This is just the sweetest, most wonderful story. I hope they take you up on your offer just because you'd make it perfect and they deserve that-though the boys love and hard work was the biggest gift. :grouphug:

[Miss Sherry]

I'm glad it turned out well. What great kids! The OP should be proud of her son for pitching in to help.

 

Paint is an easy do-over, so I wouldn't be upset. If my kids spent a lot of time doing something like that for me (or someone else), I'd be thrilled that my years of nagging about serving others had finally sunk in. :)

I would like to see my teens serve others also. But I would insist that they have permission first before doing a project on someone's home.

[anneofalamo]

can you imagine the fulfillment this young man has? He knew his parents well enough to know, colors they would like, and took initiative to do something for them that was very labor intensive.

He thought, how can I bless or give back to his parents?? I am just in awe of him and think OP (mom) your son has a heck of a friend.

 

btw, you might let your son know what colors you would like on your walls...lol

 

me, I would freak, and I am kinda sad at that....I would like to be more easy going with things like this, and that my kids would want to do something "out of the ordinary" for me one day and know that I would be pleased, not freaked.

 

so yeah on it being a good story

[Abigail4476]

I would like to see my teens serve others also. But I would insist that they have permission first before doing a project on someone's home.

 

Since it was the son that had the idea and *organized* the project, I don't think I would feel all that responsible because my kid helped. If the parents were upset, that would change my response. If my daughters or son were to organize a similar project, I would be hard pressed to be anything but gracious even if they messed something up because of the motivation behind it.

 

Paint and primer are relatively inexpensive, and also: All's well that ends well. :)

[Miss Sherry]

Since it was the son that had the idea and *organized* the project, I don't think I would feel all that responsible because my kid helped. If the parents were upset, that would change my response. If my daughters or son were to organize a similar project, I would be hard pressed to be anything but gracious even if they messed something up because of the motivation behind it.

 

Paint and primer are relatively inexpensive, and also: All's well that ends well. :)

Yes, all's well that ends well. It's great that this situation was a happy situation for that family.

However, I was saying that I would want "my" teen to ask permission first if "their" friend asked them to work on a project in "their" parents home.

 

Do it yourself paint jobs do not always go well. We had a next door neighbor have someone with no experience paint her house with a spray painter and he ended up in the hospital with respiratory problems. He was painting with oil based paint. He also got over spray on 5 vehicles, that I know of.By over spray I mean there were paint drops on the entire surface of at least 5 vehicles. Two vehicles were ours. The damage he did was higher in value than the messed up paint job.

Another do it yourself paint job we know of ended with the grandfather of my dd's friend dieing instantly from falling off of a 6 ft. ladder onto his head.

Edited November 29, 2010 by Miss Sherry

[idnib]

I would be thrilled if my kids did something like this, even if I didn't like the colors or they did a messy job. I would feel good about their hearts and that would matter more than material things.

 

My parents wore some ugly clothes, used chenille-wrapped hangers, put ugly decorative items on display, ate some terrible meals, and had a ridiculous looking garden for years because they accepted with love the offerings my brother and I had to give. And when our friends helped us in these endeavors they were happy for them too.

[Renthead Mommy]

Yes, all's well that ends well. It's great that this situation was a happy situation for that family.

However, I was saying that I would want "my" teen to ask permission first if "their" friend asked them to work on a project in "their" parents home.

 

Do it yourself paint jobs do not always go well. We had a next door neighbor have someone with no experience paint her house with a spray painter and he ended up in the hospital with respiratory problems. He was painting with oil based paint. He also got over spray on 5 vehicles, that I know of.By over spray I mean there were paint drops on the entire surface of at least 5 vehicles. Two vehicles were ours. The damage he did was higher in value than the messed up paint job.

Another do it yourself paint job we know of ended with the grandfather of my dd's friend dieing instantly from falling off of a 6 ft. ladder onto his head.

 

Well it seems you're bitter about paint! Maybe since you have such a strong reaction to painting you should stick to wallpaper!:lol:

[LizzyBee]

I asked my dh how he'd feel if our girls painted our house, cleaned, and did laundry while we were away. He was impressed that the son and his friends gave up their long weekend to work instead of play. He admitted that he'd be annoyed about the paint getting on the trim and ceiling, but he said he'd just fix it. He was incredulous that anyone would consider it property damage. In his words, "It's just paint. If you don't like it, you paint over it. There's no damage."

[Susan in KY]

Well it seems you're bitter about paint! Maybe since you have such a strong reaction to painting you should stick to wallpaper!:lol:

*snicker* :D

[Suzanne in ABQ]

My parents wore some ugly clothes, used chenille-wrapped hangers, put ugly decorative items on display, ate some terrible meals, and had a ridiculous looking garden for years because they accepted with love the offerings my brother and I had to give. And when our friends helped us in these endeavors they were happy for them too.

 

Yes! That's the heart of the story, isn't it?

[Ginevra]

My parents wore some ugly clothes, used chenille-wrapped hangers, put ugly decorative items on display, ate some terrible meals, and had a ridiculous looking garden for years because they accepted with love the offerings my brother and I had to give. And when our friends helped us in these endeavors they were happy for them too.

:iagree: My mom still has a painting hanging that I painted when I was 14. As an adult, I look at it and :confused: What was I thinking?!. But I wouldn't have had the courage to pursue art further if my mom had said, "Oh, that's lovely!" and then stuck the painting in the basement in the boiler room.

 

She could take it down now, though...:lol:

[Sun]

Good point.

But I would not be happy with a teen of mine going into another person's home to help a friend of theirs do some kind of project to that friends parents home without the permission of the parents. I want my teens to understand you do not intrude on other peoples property and make decisions for them.

 

Huh. Different strokes, I suppose, but I definitely do want my son to grow up to be the kind of young man who would willingly offer up several days of his time to help a friend in a situation like that. Of course, I also believe that we should appreciate the giver's intentions, and I would also expect that what Jean said below is usually true.

 

... I think that most teens esp. by age 19 should be able to figure out their parents reaction to a gift like this. And it sounds like this 19 year old was right on the money when it came to his parents.:)

[Sun]

I asked my dh how he'd feel if our girls painted our house, cleaned, and did laundry while we were away. He was impressed that the son and his friends gave up their long weekend to work instead of play. He admitted that he'd be annoyed about the paint getting on the trim and ceiling, but he said he'd just fix it. He was incredulous that anyone would consider it property damage. In his words, "It's just paint. If you don't like it, you paint over it. There's no damage."

 

:iagree: Some of the posts on here have made me realize that I sometimes need to work on my own heart to be more appreciative of the gift giver's intent and to strive to be more able to immediately appreciate the wonderful gift of something like what the OP's son's friend did.

[Danestress]

Would you really do this?? steal someones joy of giving??

 

If I knew the parents well enough to know that they might be upset by that brand of "giving" I might call and just prepare them for the surprise. I am not saying I would call and say, "Johnny painted the kitchen brown." But I might call (again, a friend, based on my own best judgment) and say "Okay, you have a little surprise when you get home and the boys put a ton of work into it, so I just want to prepare you to be HAPPY about it and if you aren't, you can vent to me later." Or something.

 

I absolutely would do that if, based on my knowledge of the Mom, I thought she might freak out and show that she hates the paint. Sometimes unprepared people don't react the way they wish they did in retrospect.

[idnib]

:iagree: My mom still has a painting hanging that I painted when I was 14. As an adult, I look at it and :confused: What was I thinking?!. But I wouldn't have had the courage to pursue art further if my mom had said, "Oh, that's lovely!" and then stuck the painting in the basement in the boiler room.

 

She could take it down now, though...:lol:

 

It's so sweet she doesn't though. :)

 

My parents also have some stuff from first grade projects (mother's day plate, etc) displayed in their hutch. I'm almost 40. :D

[Hedgehog]

UPDATE:

 

DS got home from church and gave me a pretty simple update. The parents weren't in church today, but the son was. He said they loved it.....I am certain the son wouldn't have done something that he thought his parents would object to. Yes, boys don't always think things through, but honestly I know these parents and I do think he is right, they won't mind. I would :) they won't.

 

I do think it was such an incredibly heartfelt gift from these boys. This was a lot of long days and hard work. They didn't get started and decide it was too much work, they just pushed through and got it done. Incidentally 3 of the 4 were homeschooled :), maybe that is the stick-to-it-even-if-it-is-hard personality trait at work. Another homeschooler trait.....the son, looked up instructions on u-tube on how to patch a hole in a wall, bought the supplies and fixed it too. He did a great job on that. He also took a needle and thread and stitched up a hole in the couch. All of this from a kid who struggled in homeschool high school, but is now turning into an incredible adult and doing great in Bible College. He plans to be a missionary and/or a pastor. :) I think he definitely has the heart for it.

 

The reason I am offering to help financially (and with free labor) is that while the boys heart was in the right place, I don't think they realize how the flaws stand out so much more due to the dark colors. They ran out of paint and I know this teen nor the parents have the money to buy more. This family has been a huge blessing to MANY, MANY people. At one point they even adopted another teenage boy, homeschooled him and loved him despite his many traits that others would have been overwhelmed by. They are truly the most unassuming and loving people I know. I think that this is what they will see in this project. LOVE.

 

Thanks for the update. You know when I read your first post, it really lifted me up. I thought, see, there are still people out there who seek to bless others in ways which they know the receiver will appreciate. It sounds like this is a wonderful family and I think you're so blessed to be close to them.

 

I'm actually really surprised at some of the more negative posts - it puzzles me exceedingly when people assume the worst of a situation. All I saw in the story was two hardworking, thoughtful lads; one who loved his parents and wanted to show it, a loyal friend who helped out... and a great, supportive mom! :001_smile: