Son will NOT wake up!

[Phoatogirl]

I'm posting this here because, as a 7th grader, my son's body and hormones are well on their way through the journey between child and adulthood. Therefore, I am well aware of his need for sleep.

 

We've been going to bed quite late around here. The boys between 11-12. My oldest (10th)will still get up between 8:30 and whenever I call him (mostly when I wake him up....I'm working on that, since I don't sleep well and there are mornings when I'm not ready to be up at 8:30).

 

The youngest (7th) WILL NOT get up when I call anywhere between 9-10am. For instance, I called him at 9, 9:30, 10, and 10:10 and he is still in bed now (10:30). I have taken away the Bionicles he's been real into lately and I've taken a day's pay ($1) off his allowance a couple times. I can't restrict social things because he doesn't have friends and doesn't do anything except orchestra, bell choir (with adults), and the occasional community theater project (so if something came up I wouldn't take it away). Once he gets to his school work he is very diligent in completing it and will work until it's done or until he can't do anymore because I'm not available to work on the stuff he needs me for. Most times he'll even do it in the evening if he's here to do so.

 

I ask myself if it matters when he does his work, and it really doesn't, except for the fact that I have to work with him are several subjects, so that means I'm doing night school also (which I don't mind a little of, except that my 10th grader still needs a lot of assistance with study skills and habits, so I can't completely turn him loose yet either).

 

I might also add that this is/was my "explosive" child, who has been blessed with the ability to think through situations over the last couple years and has been proven to be reliable, steady, honest, and a good thinker, but occasionally I see the ability of the teen hormones to work on him and uncover the difficulty he had as a child. We DON"T want to host that child again!!!!

 

Any advice?

 

Wendy

[Chris in VA]

Let it go. Have him set an alarm and take responsibility for his own getting up.

Tell him the hours you are available to meet with him for school.

Then smile and tell him you love him, and that you believe he really is fully capable of this grown-up behaviour.

 

See what happens--give it a fair trial, say, a month or so. Tweak as needed.

[MommyThrice]

First, I wouldn't expect too much until he goes to bed at a reasonable hour. At my house they go to bed at 9:00, lights out at 10:00 and up at 6:45 am.

 

Second, he may be so sleepy when you "wake him" that he isn't thinking clearly. You might have to be more forceful.

 

Third, after 10 hours of sleep, I would do WHATEVER it took to get him out of bed. Period.

 

That's just my opinion. I have three teenage boys. You might be nicer than I am. :D

[Rhonda in TX]

Honestly, he needs to go to bed earlier. My 8th grade DS is in bed by 10:00 and usually wakes up between 7:30 and 8:00. I can see that your son might need that much sleep. If it's that important that he gets up early, he needs to go to bed earlier.

[Susan C.]

He won't go to bed until he gets up earlier. Dd has that problem, no forgiveness with her clock. If she sleeps in, she won't be able to go to bed.

 

Vacuum cleaners work if you are not nice. A better approach is food. That works with the guys. Sausage biscuits will get my college aged ds out of bed every time. :)

[Tiffani]

My boys are like that until....we got a membership at the YMCA. We go work out about 7:00 at night and by the time they shower (at the Y) and then come home and get a snack they are all worn out and go to bed easily!!!

 

I know that's not the answer for everyone, but my point is this. They need to exert that energy!!! And they need to get to bed at a decent hour. I've often heard the more sleep you get before midnight translates to a better night's sleep. (Not sure who to quote, so all you "night owls", don't shoot me:D)

 

It's worked for my boys. They wake fresher in the morning and there aren't problems going to bed at night.

[ruth]

I've had the same problem. I've told dc that they need to be dressed, showered if need be and in the kitchen by 8am or no breakfast and no food until lunch , so far no one has missed a meal

[justamouse]

Let it go. Have him set an alarm and take responsibility for his own getting up.

Tell him the hours you are available to meet with him for school.

Then smile and tell him you love him, and that you believe he really is fully capable of this grown-up behaviour.

 

See what happens--give it a fair trial, say, a month or so. Tweak as needed.

 

 

:iagree:

[In The Great White North]

I had one of these. Now the USAF gets him out of bed and I don't have to.:001_smile: Amazing what they'll do for a jet.

[NineChoirs]

Invest in a water bottle, works every time :D

[Julie in MN]

David Hazell has a convention talk where he talks about making bedtime half hour earlier each time a child is late for their school starting time (8 am). They don't wake the kids or prepare their breakfast, but just expect them to be ready to learn at 8. He said some of his kids got to a very early bedtime before they started taking responsibility for getting to school on time LOL :)

 

Luckily I never homeschooled my oldest, because he would have been the one who wouldn't have wanted to getup!

 

Julie

[Teachin'Mine]

His bedtime is late for 7th grade. If you just need a louder and more annoying alarm clock to get him up and on a better schedule, check out the general boards. There was a thread there this weekend about one that would do the trick. :D

 

ETA: Here's the link: http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=221419&highlight=alarm+clock

[Miss Marple]

I'm posting this here because, as a 7th grader, my son's body and hormones are well on their way through the journey between child and adulthood. Therefore, I am well aware of his need for sleep.

 

We've been going to bed quite late around here. The boys between 11-12. My oldest (10th)will still get up between 8:30 and whenever I call him (mostly when I wake him up....I'm working on that, since I don't sleep well and there are mornings when I'm not ready to be up at 8:30).

 

The youngest (7th) WILL NOT get up when I call anywhere between 9-10am. For instance, I called him at 9, 9:30, 10, and 10:10 and he is still in bed now (10:30). I have taken away the Bionicles he's been real into lately and I've taken a day's pay ($1) off his allowance a couple times. I can't restrict social things because he doesn't have friends and doesn't do anything except orchestra, bell choir (with adults), and the occasional community theater project (so if something came up I wouldn't take it away). Once he gets to his school work he is very diligent in completing it and will work until it's done or until he can't do anymore because I'm not available to work on the stuff he needs me for. Most times he'll even do it in the evening if he's here to do so.

 

I ask myself if it matters when he does his work, and it really doesn't, except for the fact that I have to work with him are several subjects, so that means I'm doing night school also (which I don't mind a little of, except that my 10th grader still needs a lot of assistance with study skills and habits, so I can't completely turn him loose yet either).

 

I might also add that this is/was my "explosive" child, who has been blessed with the ability to think through situations over the last couple years and has been proven to be reliable, steady, honest, and a good thinker, but occasionally I see the ability of the teen hormones to work on him and uncover the difficulty he had as a child. We DON"T want to host that child again!!!!

 

Any advice?

 

Wendy

 

I agree with the others that his bedtime needs to be earlier. I remember reading recently about hours in sleep not being equal. In other words, going to bed at midnight and getting up at 8:00 a.m. is not necessarily equivalent to going to bed at 10:00 and getting up at 6:00 a.m. - even though both are 8 hours long. I can't remember where I read it but I was having a similar problem and, in researching it, came across the study.

 

And you might consider checking him for mono...is he sleeping during the day as well?

Edited November 1, 2010 by CynthiaOK

[LatinTea]

I love these ideas! My dd would sleep until noon if her stomach didn't get her up before that; school is NOT an incentive for rising earlier. She is not a morning person, but she does like food, so I might try those sausage biscuit thingies. She has an obnoxious alarm clock, but it's right by her bed and she is quick to just shut the alarm off. I think I'll move it across the room. If that doesn't work, I do have a few water bottles around here. :)

Edited November 1, 2010 by LatinTea

[Phoatogirl]

Thanks for the suggestions. I told him that I expect him to go to bed earlier, now that he finished being Jem in To Kill a Mockingbird and getting out of the theater at 10:30. I also told him that if he doesn't feel better and wake up earlier after a week of 10:00 bedtime, I'm going to get his thyroid checked.

 

Wendy

[Lori D.]

Our younger DS was very similar. For all the reasons you listed (hormones/needs sleep, stays up late, explosive temperament) I *highly* recommend strenuous continuous aerobic exercise, for 30-45 minutes per session, at least 3 times a week. Make it a priority in your schedule; call it PE; make sure it happens. Swimming laps is the BEST, but if he prefers running, cycling, dance (he could do the x-box dance pad activity for 30 minutes straight), aerobics, etc. then go with what he likes. Only go with a sport like basketball, soccer, tennis, etc. as the primary form of exercise if most of the time it causes a CONTINUOUS raised heart rate for at least 30 minutes. Lifting weights is a nice extra, but it is no substitute for what is needed to encourage sleep, which is strenuous, aerobic exercise.

 

The exercise does several things:

- wears the edge off the DS so he is ABLE physically to relax and go to sleep on a more normal time-table

- strenuous physical exercise helps throw off hormonal and emotional stress and helps DS be a calmer, more in-control person

- helps him develop a routine with his day

- helps him develop a positive, healthy life habit

 

BTW, our DS HATES any form of physical activity, so he was given the choice of: either you choose the activity (handed him a list of acceptable activities to choose from), or, if you don't choose, *I* choose for you. DS went with swimming laps and we did it together, to encourage and challenge each other. More recently, he has joined a public school tennis team which runs for 3 months in the spring.

 

Patience and perseverance as you move through this hormonal hard patch! BEST of luck! Warmly, Lori D.

[Mejane]

I agree with the others that his bedtime needs to be earlier. I remember reading recently about hours in sleep not being equal. In other words, going to bed at midnight and getting up at 8:00 a.m. is not necessarily equivalent to going to bed at 10:00 and getting up at 6:00 a.m. - even though both are 8 hours long. I can't remember where I read it but I was having a similar problem and, in researching it, came across the study.

 

 

 

:iagree:I was just going to post about the time difference being crucial.

[Lolly]

I have two who sleep in. As long as their work gets done, it is fine with me. Dd18 is now getting up around 10 each day. She is currently very independent with her work, so this works great for her. Ds13 gets up between 10:30 and 11. Lunch is his first meal of the day. I'm busy with the two 16 yos until that point, so it works well for us. Once he gets up and eats, I'm usually all his until his work is done!

[Moni]

 

Any advice?

 

 

 

What exactly is the question? :confused1:

Advice on . . . (what is it you are trying to accomplish?)

 

It kind of comes down to what is a priority, and then see whether you can make that work well.

 

If he needs a 12-hour window for sleep and you want to start his school at 8:00 a.m.......

 

If it doesn't matter to you whether he works evenings, weekends, summers, or just does less for a certain semester in his academic career (now)......

 

??

 

:seeya: