k2bdeutmeyer Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Yes...you read that right. Never thought I'd be concerned about THAT! DD10 will sit and read 2-3 BOOKS in a day if I let her. I, in NO way, want to discourage her love for reading. I DO think it is fantastic!!! However, it drives me crazy that she hibernates in her room/the basement for hours, upon hours, upon hours!! She doesn't hang out with the family, she doesn't go outside, she doesn't want to do ANYTHING but read. So....HOW do I go about getting her to pull back a bit on the reading without discouraging her passion for it? Do I even bother? Is this one of those "get over it Mom" moments?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 It's not the reading that's the problem. It's what she's not getting that's the problem. I require that my kids go outside for an hour every day if it's not storming. I also require that my kids have some good strenuous exercise. Ds is enrolled in taekwando and goes 4x a week. Dd does gymnastics 3x a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 When I was a kid I would walk to the library and take out like 8 books and read 5 in a day. I just loved reading so much because I loved being in that other world for that short time. Maybe get her involved with something that interests her, maybe even a book club at a local bookstore or library. Loving to read is wonderful, but I agree she needs to get out into the "real world" as well. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 She does play softball (1-2x a week) and goes to dance (1x a week). I think (as I sit and ponder this a little deeper) for me, it's the lack of interaction. I want her to be an active participant in our family. If we aren't doing school, eating a meal, or getting ready to leave....she's nowhere to be found - in a corner somewhere, reading. It's VERY difficult to get her to come join us when we're joking, playing, talking, watching a movie, etc.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 My mom would make me go outside to play or do something else active after a few hours on weekends, when I would have otherwise spent all day holed up in my room reading. My daughter likes to read but doesn't usually read for hours at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fhjmom Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 My DS is the same way. I have to limit his "free reading" or I wouldn't see him when he gets into a book (and I have to take the book away to get school work done, too, :tongue_smilie:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 My DS is the same way. I have to limit his "free reading" or I wouldn't see him when he gets into a book (and I have to take the book away to get school work done, too, :tongue_smilie:). YES!!! Glad it's not just me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I was the same way as a kid. My mom would make me go outside, so I'd take a book with me. I discovered trees were excellent places to read. At 10 I was the one taking me to the library, on my bike, so feeding the addiction actually got me out of the house, too. I had to put the book down to do my chores and to join the family at the table for meals (no reading at the table, no food anywhere else allowed). I did crawl out of the book once in a while once Star Trek: TNG premiered. I'd say, let her read in her free time, but require her to join in family activities and get outside some. She'll find her own balance eventually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I will tell ds that "this is a family time and you are part of our family". Our family activities might be playing a game together, a family walk, Bible time, a special video time. . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Some people are just introverts and don't like that forced social time. It feels fake and requires a tremendous amount of energy to get through it. It's how we're wired. But I do know families who insist on trying to change that. I'm just saying, it's not always a behavioral issue. It can be a personality style. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Negin Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 My dd would read all day if she could. I'm happy that she loves reading. I'm the same way. I read these rules once, and I try to keep to them. No reading while walking outside or up and down stairs. You may read over breakfast, but then not again until your morning chores and schoolwork are done. You must play outside every day – for at least 30 minutes. Reading outside does not count as outside play. The last one ... I'm not very good at enforcing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Some people are just introverts and don't like that forced social time. It feels fake and requires a tremendous amount of energy to get through it. It's how we're wired. But I do know families who insist on trying to change that. I'm just saying, it's not always a behavioral issue. It can be a personality style. I'm like this, too. But I feel in the long run my parents did me a favor by insisting I interact and learn to socialize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jld Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 How about inviting her to interact with the family rather than forcing it? I guess some people might be grateful for having been forced to do things, but some might harbor long-term resentment. I'd be careful with this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I have found that just like I have to coax my non-voracious readers to read, I have to coax my voracious reader to do other things. I don't worry about discouraging reading with her...she loves it so much that I couldn't quench that thirst if I wanted to...so I DO tell her that she's reading too much and needs to do something else for a while. It's never dampened her enthusiasm for books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest TheBugsMom Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 At this point, I would let her read. If you want her to get fresh air, send her outside to read. Interacting with the family is great but not if it is a forced thing. Just keep her included in all that the family does, let her know whats happening and make sure she feels invited. Seek her out to just say hi, want to have some tea with me. Let her know your there when she emerges from her books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenhwyfar Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Some people are just introverts and don't like that forced social time. It feels fake and requires a tremendous amount of energy to get through it. It's how we're wired. But I do know families who insist on trying to change that. I'm just saying, it's not always a behavioral issue. It can be a personality style. :iagree: i lived in my books as a kid. my folks tried forcing me out of them and into social situations - it was awful. ..and it didn't change anything..well, aside from teaching me how to be sneakier. :laugh: (i eventually ended up lying about what i was doing for the afternoon - i'd tell them i was going to so-and-so's house to hang out and then go off to the library for hours. stuff like that...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 My goddaughter (11) is the same way. Her nose is constantly in a book. We went on vacation with her family, and we were all constantly telling her to put the book down and look out at the gorgeous scenery! I was a voracious reader as a kid, but I did like to go out and play, too. Maybe just encourage her to set the books down for awhile a get some fresh air. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JFSinIL Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 Some people are just introverts and don't like that forced social time. It feels fake and requires a tremendous amount of energy to get through it. It's how we're wired. But I do know families who insist on trying to change that. I'm just saying, it's not always a behavioral issue. It can be a personality style. I agree, I was, and still am, that avid reader. Folks who are not introverts just don't GET IT that for us social banter, etc. is NOT fun. My fil thinks constant conversation is the be-all and end-all of human experience. Need I add, we do NOT get along! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted October 10, 2010 Author Share Posted October 10, 2010 Well.....I can say for certain that she is NOT an introvert, LOL. She just loves to read THAT much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I was the same way as a kid. I'd walk with my nose buried in a book. I'd read all day if I could. I'd beg for "five more minutes" before lights out at bedtime. I'd bring books outside with me. I still did love to play so when I had friends to play with, I'd play with them. If we went on a family outing, I was happy to participate. But if nothing else special was going on, I just wanted to read. And I hated when people would interrupt my reading to talk to me. The question, "What are you reading?" annoyed me to no end for some reason LOL. I would just think "go away! I'm trying to read!" It sounds like she IS getting physical activity. And maybe if you guys were doing something special or going somewhere special she'd be happy to be invited to participate. But she'd rather read than sit around "chatting" or whatever, and I definitely understand THAT! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 The system won't let me quote myself but I said that I tell my ds that "It is family time and you are part of our family". His response is, "OK!" Sometimes a reminder is all it takes. It doesn't have to equal "force" to set some boundaries on how we use our time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 I'm like this, too. But I feel in the long run my parents did me a favor by insisting I interact and learn to socialize. Well, she is in both dance and softball. That's quite a lot of socialization in my book! It sounds like her only problem is reading while at home. I love spending time with my children, so I can understand worrying that they would choose other things over time with me. But I accept it because it's just what I personally believe and the way I parent. There are many ways to parent and mine is just a bit different from the majority on this board. I've seen that time and time again. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted October 10, 2010 Share Posted October 10, 2010 The system won't let me quote myself but I said that I tell my ds that "It is family time and you are part of our family". His response is, "OK!" Sometimes a reminder is all it takes. It doesn't have to equal "force" to set some boundaries on how we use our time. :iagree: (and I'm an introvert and an avid reader) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted October 11, 2010 Share Posted October 11, 2010 Some people are just introverts and don't like that forced social time. It feels fake and requires a tremendous amount of energy to get through it. It's how we're wired. But I do know families who insist on trying to change that. I'm just saying, it's not always a behavioral issue. It can be a personality style. :iagree: I've got one who was like this for years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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