So SLOW

[mlbuchina]

Do any of you have any advice or tricks or anything for a dc that is slow in doing her work?

 

My dd6 (about to be 7), has got to be the slowest around! It can take her 30 minutes just to do a copywork page that has no more than eight to ten words in the sentence, and most of them are three or four letters long! She will write a letter and then yawn or stretch or look around the room... Or want to strike up a conversation with me about stuff that I guess is just running through her mind. I have to sit with her constantly and draw her attention back to the page. It's even worse if her sister is also doing some work in the room. Then she wants to turn around and watch what dd4 (almost 5) is doing.

 

Math lessons that should take no more than 45 minutes (and that would be a long one), drag on to two hours! Some days we both end up in tears, and I HATE that I get irritate at her and then start speaking harshly to her. I have to do a lot of appologizing for MY behaviour, as well as trying to motivate her.:ohmy::crying:

 

She does this in all subjects, not just these two. I'm really at the end of my rope. Any thoughts or ideas would be great!

 

TIA

[Chris in VA]

Carrots and sticks--you choose whether you want to provide an incentive (carrot) to work faster, or a disincentive to dawdle (stick).

What fun thing could you do together if she goes faster? (carrot)

What could you take away if she doesn't (stick)? Could be the same thing, it's all in the phrasing. I prefer to be positive.

 

Then, you give her control. You walk away, either far or near, do something else, if it's something like copywork that she can do by herself. Engaging your other child and telling your dawdler that she can participate as soon as she finishes or does X amt correctly or whatever your standard is, is one way.

Edited April 18, 2010 by Chris in VA

[Faithr]

Put on a timer (10 minutes), sit right next to her and cheer her on. When the timer goes off close the book and move onto the next subject whether she's finished or not (unless she objects and wants to finish a word or sentence). You are training her to concentrate. Once she gets into the habit and knows that she will soon be released from this thing she has no interest in doing, she will tighten up and get more focused. Try to be consistent and cheerful.

[phathui5]

My oldest does better if I set a timer for 15 minutes, then give him a 5/10 minute break to go outside. Repeat as necessary until the work is done.

[fairytalemama]

:iagree:

 

15 - 20 minutes seems to be the limit. The timer works wonders. I think if they know up front there's a light at the end of the tunnel, they focus to get it done.

[PeterPan]

Math shouldn't take 45 min. at that age. Take it down to 20 min with a timer. Get out some m&m's or cheerios and reward her for every word she writes.

 

Also, make sure there's not a problem, a reason she's doing this. Have you had her eyes checked? By a developmental optometrist? My dd always got worn out after short sessions of school work, meaning we had to take constant breaks (work 20, play 10). Turns out there was a REASON. (focusing and convergence issues giving her headaches) Kids are so willing to comply, that to me when a kid that age is acting bad it's a sign something is up.

[Guest]

All the suggestions you've gotten are good ones; I'd throw in something a bit different. Perhaps your daughter just isn't ready to focus on sit-down work every day, for long. Besides giving her breaks, could you perhaps turn some of her paperwork into more active work? Peggy Kaye's Games For Math is a terrific book that basically teaches the very same early math skills as a textbook but through games, many of them games where a child can jump, hop, skip, toss pennies in cups, and otherwise move around. Games For Reading is more focused on words and paper, of course, but still frees you up from sitting in front of a worksheet to finish while working on reading skills. Both books, if I remember, go from kindergarten or 1st through 3rd or 4th grade level.

 

Does she show focus and a good attention span for anything outside of "school"? Does she like to be read to, or play with Legos, or animals, or anything that you can see her immerse herself in with focus? If you spend some time noting what she likes/can focus on and what she can't or won't, you might be able to narrow down whether the issue is attention in general, or perhaps just a mis-match between her learning styles and interests and the curriculum you're using.

 

SWB just posted another two questions and her responses about dictation on youTube you might find of interest. Basically she says that if the dictation seems overwhelming or the child can't focus, scale back dramatically to dictating only two or three words at a time. This may or may not help, but it's worth trying???

[KJsMom]

We have had this exact problem with my dd8. We tried several things but what is working for us is a schedule. I have her scheduled from 7:30-8:00 eat, shower, dress; and then her subjects are scheduled from 8-10 and then from 10:15-12:00. She has a scheduled 15 min break at 10, but if she finishes everything early she can choose whether to take a longer break or work through and finish early. She usually ends up with a break of 45 min or more. I also have her assignments written down where she can see exactly what she has to do each day. I am not a schedule person so this hasn't been easy for me but it works so much better for her. I don't have to babysit and nag. She actually enjoys playing 'beat the clock' to earn extra free time on her break.

[3peasinapod]

I am right there with you. I will tell DD7 that if she just focuses and does it, she will be done with it, won't have to look at it again. I've tried the timer, and it seriously stresses her out and that's all she can think about. So I'm going with the 20 minutes, and if not done in that time she can either take a 5-10 minute break or it has to be done after our rest time (quiet alone time in afternoon) kind of like homework I guess.

 

I'm reading the responses with eagerness, as this is my dd to a T.:bigear:

[LindaOz]

Put on a timer (10 minutes), sit right next to her and cheer her on. When the timer goes off close the book and move onto the next subject whether she's finished or not (unless she objects and wants to finish a word or sentence). You are training her to concentrate. Once she gets into the habit and knows that she will soon be released from this thing she has no interest in doing, she will tighten up and get more focused. Try to be consistent and cheerful.

 

:iagree:

 

I've done this sort of thing and it has worked really well.

[mlbuchina]

Thanks everyone!

[Reya]

Timers, clocks, push-ups, coins, snacks, weekly trips to Six Flags, having to earn ALL "screen time, losing art/science experiments...these are just a few of the incentives and disincentives we use for my VERY ADHD DS.

 

Let's put it this way: Left to his devices, it takes him 1.5 hours to wake up, go potty, brush his hair and teeth, eat breakfast, and make his bed. And he'll probably forget at least one of those things!

[....]

My dd6 (about to be 7), has got to be the slowest around! It can take her 30 minutes just to do a copywork page that has no more than eight to ten words in the sentence, and most of them are three or four letters long!

Math lessons that should take no more than 45 minutes (and that would be a long one), drag on to two hours!

 

She does this in all subjects, not just these two. I'm really at the end of my rope. Any thoughts or ideas would be great!

 

TIA

 

OK, is your daughter actually dawdling? Or is she perfecting?

 

The reason why I say this is because when my oldest was in public school, I was getting phone calls from her teacher about how long it was taking her to complete her schoolwork. This lady was really getting annoyed and frustrated, so she would call me from her classroom. I actually sat in the "little chair" at a p-t conference while the teacher ranted about how slow my daughter was. She kept telling me that my kid had some kind of behavior problem.

 

Well...a few weeks later...I'm getting phone calls from the school about "how proud we are to have your daughter in our school, etc, etc..." It seems the test scores from our standardized tests came back and my daughter scored off the charts.

 

I had a talk with another teacher and she was telling me that some of these kids are very, very exact and meticulous. She said you can't hurry them. They are trying to perfect everything they do. My daughter really, really took her time with schoolwork, but after that, the teacher left her alone about it.

 

Do you think your daughter might just be very meticulous? Is she perfecting everything?

 

She might not actually be trying to annoy you, she might just have a learning personality like I was describing above...

 

Can you chop some of the lessons in half - like math?

[EKS]

You've gotten some good advice here. One other thing. Certain curriculum materials are known for taking longer than others. Saxon math tends to be one of them (this would be on top of the dawdling, and it can also feed the dawdling if that makes sense). You might want to evaluate what you're using to see if it can be streamlined.

[creekmom]

Try making a chart of all her school subjects and the amount of time they "should" take her. Then, list under each subject the amount of time she is currently taking to complete each one. Tell her that every time she beats her old time, she gets a reward (M&Ms work well here). Keep the chart where she can see it and be motivated to beat her "record time". Hopefully, she'll view it as a game and be motivated to do her work without dawdling.

[Tracy]

Just another idea concerning copywork: My dd does a lot better with copywork when she is copying something meaningful to her. I use sentences from books that we have read together. I make several pages for the week, and I let her choose which one to do. I also make sure to keep it short enough for her to finish in 5-10 minutes.

[LAmom]

Do any of you have any advice or tricks or anything for a dc that is slow in doing her work?

 

My dd6 (about to be 7), has got to be the slowest around! It can take her 30 minutes just to do a copywork page that has no more than eight to ten words in the sentence, and most of them are three or four letters long! She will write a letter and then yawn or stretch or look around the room... Or want to strike up a conversation with me about stuff that I guess is just running through her mind. I have to sit with her constantly and draw her attention back to the page. It's even worse if her sister is also doing some work in the room. Then she wants to turn around and watch what dd4 (almost 5) is doing.

 

Some days we both end up in tears, and I HATE that I get irritate at her and then start speaking harshly to her. I have to do a lot of appologizing for MY behaviour, as well as trying to motivate her.:ohmy::crying:

 

TIA

 

I could have written this! My 6 yo has really good days and then other days I have to constantly get her to focus and do her work. 5 minute work can take her 30+ minutes. She is not ADD at all-- just lacks the motivation or interest (some days). Rather see what her 4yo, 2yo brothers are up to. It has brought us to tears, too. The slightest mention of a timer and she goes crazy, freaks out! She is very competitive and maybe feels like she will not "win." I will try some of the suggestions here. If you find something that has helped, I would love a followup. I dread school some days. I have given her more breaks, too.

[Momling]

I don't have any new suggestions, but I have an 8 yr old girl who might rival your daughter in her slowness. Hers is a universal slowness... to eat, to get dressed, to take a bath, to do her work, to empty the dishwasher, to clean her room. She's very, very dreamy. There are times when I'm sitting with her that I'm ready to stab her with a pencil just to get a reaction.

[monalisa]

:grouphug: I have been in the same boat as you with dd 7, and sometimes we still are. I've done many of the things suggested, and over this year things have greatly improved. Hang in there, and know you are not alone!!!!!

[s0nicfreak]

What reason is there to force her into doing things in set time blocks? Just make sure she understands that the less time she takes doing the sit down and focus learning, the more time she will have for the fun (whatever she sees as fun) learning and other things. When she's doing something she can do on her own, don't sit there and wait for her to finish, so you don't get frustrated. You give her some copywork, then go do the dishes or something. If her attention goes off the page at times while she is doing it, so what? If that causes her to not do it correctly, you make her do it again. Some people just can't learn by sitting there and focusing on one thing. Maybe try letting her doodle or jot down her thoughts (with promises to discuss them when the lesson is finished) while you're giving the math lessons. If they start to go long and you're getting frustrated, stop and let her do something she can do on her own, and you take a break for awhile, or both of you take a break.

[nicholsonhomeschool]

Just wanted to say I'm glad you asked because these suggestions sound great and we could certainly use them in our house!!