Curriculum for a 13yr girl that doesn't like school

[mamato4girls]

My 13yr old dd is a very smart girl, has won spelling bees, gotten straight A's, even in Math. Then the hormones, and teenage drama hit. Her attitude, and willingness to do her schoolwork is terrible. She does love to read, and can finish a book in a day (if her cell phone and computer are taken away). She is very social, and could sit on facebook or sit and text all day if I let her (this is something else we are working on). So I am a bit worried about my first option below, any suggestions?

 

My question is this... Should I use an online or DVD program with her such as BJU, or even Veritas (where she would go to class 2x a week) in the hopes that she will listen and take direction better from someone other than me? Or should I try streamlining other things in the house and my schedule in order to work with her 1 on 1 more?

[Corraleno]

If she loves to read, why not play to her strengths and let her do most of her subjects through reading? For example:

 

MATH: Life of Fred (Prealgebra & Biology, or Beginning Algebra)

 

ENGLISH: MCT Grammar Voyage, Essay Voyage, Caesar's English II, A World of Poetry

 

HISTORY: K12's Human Odyssey books are written in a very engaging, narrative style. There are 3 volumes; just choose the one that corresponds to where you are in the history rotation

 

SCIENCE: Depending on which subject you want to cover, there are many ways to do science through "living books." There was a recent thread on the HS board with a huge list of biology-related books. Physics can easily be done this way as well.

 

GEOGRAPHY: There are some wonderful books like Hungry Planet, Material World, etc. for putting together a non-textbooky geography program.

 

Also, have you thought about Teaching Company courses? Many of them work well as audio courses; that would be something she could listen to on an iPod in the car, riding her bike, or whatever.

 

Which specific subjects will she be doing next year, for math, history, and science? What other subjects are you hoping to cover? If she's really smart, then part of her resistance towards "normal" school work may be that she finds it boring and full of busy work. Reading challenging books, with lots of discussion, instead of textbooks and worksheets, may make a big difference in her attitude.

 

Jackie

Edited April 10, 2010 by Corraleno

[mamato4girls]

Thank you, anyone else....:001_smile:

[Guest]

Several things:

 

If Facebook and texting or calling friends is interfering with her education at this point, I'd consider taking them away or seriously limiting their use. But I wouldn't do this without counterbalancing that with an avenue for her to get her social needs met. She's of an age where she could begin to do some volunteer work or a work-study type of job that would allow her to interact with a variety of ages and sorts of people. Perhaps together you could investigate what possibilities there are for teenagers in your area. We live in a major city and there are at least two whole websites devoted to this. There are opportunities for doing a variety of different things or for focusing on what your child likes to do best, whether it's work with animals, build shelters or help put together bikes, paint out graffiti, help plant urban gardens, interview or go to game night with seniors living in assisted care homes, tutor kids with reading difficulties, help out with Special Olympics events, or play with hospitalized children. There are lots of programs here -- we live close to the Mexican border -- that also sponsor monthly visits to Mexican orphanges and hold play days, with delivery of toys and clothes at the same time. There has got to be something that would grab your daughter's interest and allow her to put her social energies to good use.

 

I also agree with the previous poster who suggested tailoring her work to emphasize or utilize that social interest as well. Does she like to write as well as read? Could you find a teen girls book club or writers' group in your area?

 

In my (tentative -- because you know her best) opinion she's old enough to be asked how she thinks she could improve her learning and challenge herself. Does she think going to outside classes would be beneficial or interesting? Would she like to explore the possibility of having a tutor in one or more subjects? What does she herself think about online classes? A bright child of thirteen should have a fairly good idea of how she learns best and what direction she'd like to take (within the limits you set). Or she might not know; she might be floundering and not be able to imagine what course she'd like her life to take. Again, the volunteer or work/study option might be an invaluable way for her to explore the adult world.

[Love2Smile]

What about Sonlight for history and LA?

[Love2Smile]

As far as texting and facebook, well those things are in YOUR control

 

I have a 15 year old who does not even own a cell phone, (no reason to yet) and we do not allow facebook.

 

She is a video gamer, so we do not allow any of it during the week. It is too much of a distraction.

 

She gets her video games on Friday around 5PM and I take them away on Sunday around 5PM. During the weekend she is expected to read one hour each day, continue with chores and be involved with family activities...

 

Sounds like you need to tighten the reigns a bit

[Tracy]

You might be interested in reading Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. It is not about curriculum or homeschooling, but it addresses all the problems that result when kids develop that insatiable need to be connected with their friends.

 

Tracy

[Susie in MS]

I agree with those above that addressed *your control* and *peers*. I just wanted to throw in a possible curriculum:

 

Does your dd like Anne of Green Gables? Is she a Christian?

If so then maybe she would really like the unit study Where the Brook and River Meet. I normally would not suggest it for a 13 yo, but when you say she loves to read then this might just work. And it may be a way she is able to connect with school subjects through the character of Anne.

 

You can view samples and look at the s&s at http://www.cadroncreek.com .

[mamato4girls]

Thank ya'll so much! Yes, we are Christian I will check that out. We did decide yesterday to take away the texting option on her phone, and I am also going to make some other "major" changes!

[Love2Smile]

Good luck! I know it's very hard. My 15 year olds attitude greatly improves however when she has stricter rules for these above things and knows exactly when she will get them.

[at the beach]

Well, if she's texting and doing Facebook, I doubt that online classes would help because she'd likely be multitasking. Hold onto Your Kids is an excellent book. It sounds like your dd has possibly become peer oriented.

 

Just another comment regarding internet socializing. Did you know there is a site that connects people with strangers? I think it's called Omegle. I didn't even know about it but my 21 yo told me about it when she noticed links to it on a cousin's 13 yo child's Facebook page. It is so easy for kids to get involved in bad things online that it is imperative that a parent is closely monitoring and knows there kid inside out.

[74Heaven]

Thank ya'll so much! Yes, we are Christian I will check that out. We did decide yesterday to take away the texting option on her phone, and I am also going to make some other "major" changes!

 

Btw, the OP's dtr sounds just like my dtr. Somewhere around 14-15yo, my excellent student became "I care about nothing except texting, chatting and face-booking all hours of the day and night." She just could not discipline herself with these things.

 

Every mom I know is in shock when I tell them you can view your child's exact call/text/download history online at the Verizon website. I would assume other carriers have this too. This may seem intrusive for people who are not having trust/inappropriate use issues with their dtr/son's phones. But when the child breaks the trust or has severe self control issues, this can be necessary for safety, personal success, etc.

 

Also, you can block things on your child's phone w/o calling the carrier. This is true with the phones we have; not so sure about all others. But it starts with every phone own lock code - with Verizon I think it is the last 4 digits of the phone as the default lock code. Most people change theirs at some point. You have access to these blocking feature when you enter the security code - which is not the same as the lock code. On our phones you need to know both codes to figure it out. I think you set your own "security code".

 

Anyway, if you flip thru the phone options you'll be able to figure it out. I like this better than the blocking available by calling your cell phone carrier because it is easier to adjust. There is also an option for blocking or allowing certain phone numbers; blocking all texting, etc. The easiest is something like "allow only calls FROM contact list" and the opposite "allow only calls TO the contact list". That way your child can still carry the phone for safety or convenience but you can control who is on the contact list - also thru the phone's settings and your setting it up and knowing the password. When I did this a few months ago, I had to put a code in that only dad and I know.

 

Just a warning, no matter what you do, your dtr prob may find a way around it. My dtr was running up huge cell phone bills when we had to restrict her from texting/night calling, etc.. She figured out how to download songs and IM her friends from her cell phone. I had to delete the service she had subscibed to and I was able to solve this one by resetting the phone to factory default settings.

 

Lastly, I have 2 teen dtrs with cell phones. One dtr has absolutely no restrictions. She does have to follow the house rules of no calls during school; no calls after 9p at night when you are home; and keeping the ringer off at night. She keeps it in her room. The other dtr has shown no self control and there are other issues and her phone is kept in our room and has severe restrictions on it.

 

Lisaj

[cillakat]

Consider also supporting hormonal balance nutritionally - a great multi with sufficient iron, sufficient zinc and D from a multi and additional supplements are almost always necessary for teens to meet their needs of these nutrients.

 

Natrol My Favorite Multiple Take One is a great multi and very inexpensie from iherb.com ($4.50/month)

 

Here is a link to some info on zinc and D as well:

https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AV3S7fNjwg33ZHp0bWN3cV8xMjJqbTZzZm43OQ&hl=en

 

most of the info at the following link was something I wrote for a skincare board, but there is a significant amount of hormonal balance info there as well:

https://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AV3S7fNjwg33ZHp0bWN3cV83ZnJrNXZrZDg&hl=en

 

Wishing you the best as you all work through this,

Katherine

[mamato4girls]

Lisaj- your dd's sound like mine! My oldest is great with her cell phone, hardly ever uses it, texts only here and there, and is rarely online. Her sister is the complete opposite.

I am thinking that online/DVD, ANYTHING at the computer is not going to work. I can't exactly have her use one without internet, and even if she is sitting next to me I have 3 other kids and such to be distracted by. At this point I don't trust that when I leave the room she wouldn't just get on FB or email. Thank you all for helping me to see this!

[Reya]

My 13yr old dd is a very smart girl, has won spelling bees, gotten straight A's, even in Math. Then the hormones, and teenage drama hit. Her attitude, and willingness to do her schoolwork is terrible. She does love to read, and can finish a book in a day (if her cell phone and computer are taken away). She is very social, and could sit on facebook or sit and text all day if I let her (this is something else we are working on). So I am a bit worried about my first option below, any suggestions?

 

 

....HER cell phone?

 

...HER computer?

 

I would not change a child's education because of his or her bad attitude. IF she's unwilling to do school, then she's unwilling to, say, eat.

[Love2Smile]

:iagree:

....HER cell phone?

 

...HER computer?

 

I would not change a child's education because of his or her bad attitude. IF she's unwilling to do school, then she's unwilling to, say, eat.

LMBO! Right on!

[SonshineLearner]

How about just asking her to put her phone on the charger for school hours. (like 8-3:30 or so) I didn't want to do school, but perhaps if she's like me.... if she did something like.... Sonlight.. or similar. What goals do you have for her? I'd like to have my daughter do something like Sonlight and then latin online or something.. if I were you. Also, I have no idea of if you're from a Christian view or not... and what your financial position is... but peer pressure can be good..... I would look at something like Classical Conversations... or a one or two day co-op or something... If you want to do that... I'd hurry to get looking... :)

[Love2Smile]

How about just asking her to put her phone on the charger for school hours. (like 8-3:30 or so) I didn't want to do school, but perhaps if she's like me.... if she did something like.... Sonlight.. or similar. What goals do you have for her? I'd like to have my daughter do something like Sonlight and then latin online or something.. if I were you. Also, I have no idea of if you're from a Christian view or not... and what your financial position is... but peer pressure can be good..... I would look at something like Classical Conversations... or a one or two day co-op or something... If you want to do that... I'd hurry to get looking... :)

just wondering...In what ways do you think peer pressue is good? And how does that relate to being Christian and her financial situation?

[SonshineLearner]

Well, at least in our case, the student goes to class... sees what other students have learned.... kicks themselves into gear... so that they aren't behind the class. This would be "positive peer pressure." Also, sometimes a bit of help for accountability brings students into line... and they think of the work as more justified.. than just working against themselves at home. Not that Classical Conversations is THE most scholarly... but I'll say that after being around many hs families... since I was hs when younger... when you are in a community where families are trying to give their kids a really good education... it makes everyone want to try better... Or so the story goes...

 

:)

[Love2Smile]

Well, at least in our case, the student goes to class... sees what other students have learned.... kicks themselves into gear... so that they aren't behind the class. This would be "positive peer pressure." Also, sometimes a bit of help for accountability brings students into line... and they think of the work as more justified.. than just working against themselves at home. Not that Classical Conversations is THE most scholarly... but I'll say that after being around many hs families... since I was hs when younger... when you are in a community where families are trying to give their kids a really good education... it makes everyone want to try better... Or so the story goes...

 

:)

Okay, I misunderstood you. When I read "peer pressure" I thought another kind of not so good peer pressure! Now I get it. Yes, the kind you mention is good!;)

[In The Great White North]

Well, if she's texting and doing Facebook, I doubt that online classes would help because she'd likely be multitasking.

 

:iagree: It's incredibly hard to enforce "no texting/Facebook til your schoolwork is done" when the schoolwork is online. (The downside to PA Homeschoolers AP courses!)

[....]

I highly recommend doing a Sonlight Core. Maybe she could pick a higher core she is interested in? Could she do a high school core?

 

Another option: what about doing a virtual academy through K12? That would take some pressure off you. :confused:

 

Good luck! I have an 8 1/2 year who is constantly wanting to do the "friend" thing too.

[mamato4girls]

Not exactly sure how to take this.....:tongue_smilie:I will say "her" loosely she knows that it is really mine and my husband's.

 

....HER cell phone?

 

...HER computer?

 

I would not change a child's education because of his or her bad attitude. IF she's unwilling to do school, then she's unwilling to, say, eat.

[mamato4girls]

I thought of K12 or another virtual academy, but then I am back into the situation of using the computer all day for school work, and right now I am not sure that is what is best for her.

Also our homeschool group (which is Christian) doesn't allow anyone that does virtual "public" school at home, makes me mad, but....

[Love2Smile]

I thought of K12 or another virtual academy, but then I am back into the situation of using the computer all day for school work, and right now I am not sure that is what is best for her.

Also our homeschool group (which is Christian) doesn't allow anyone that does virtual "public" school at home, makes me mad, but....

Wow, that would bug me too! Sometimes I just don't get these Christian homeschool groups. And I am Christian. I hate the "sign this form" before you join also...the statement of "faith"

Some of the most friendly homeschool groups I have ever joined were secular. But this is a whole other subject.

 

Good luck, I'm sure it will all work out, teenagers are difficult for sure!

[lisabees]

If she loves to read, why not play to her strengths and let her do most of her subjects through reading? For example:

 

MATH: Life of Fred (Prealgebra & Biology, or Beginning Algebra)

 

ENGLISH: MCT Grammar Voyage, Essay Voyage, Caesar's English II, A World of Poetry

 

HISTORY: K12's Human Odyssey books are written in a very engaging, narrative style. There are 3 volumes; just choose the one that corresponds to where you are in the history rotation

 

SCIENCE: Depending on which subject you want to cover, there are many ways to do science through "living books." There was a recent thread on the HS board with a huge list of biology-related books. Physics can easily be done this way as well.

 

GEOGRAPHY: There are some wonderful books like Hungry Planet, Material World, etc. for putting together a non-textbooky geography program.

 

Also, have you thought about Teaching Company courses? Many of them work well as audio courses; that would be something she could listen to on an iPod in the car, riding her bike, or whatever.

 

Which specific subjects will she be doing next year, for math, history, and science? What other subjects are you hoping to cover? If she's really smart, then part of her resistance towards "normal" school work may be that she finds it boring and full of busy work. Reading challenging books, with lots of discussion, instead of textbooks and worksheets, may make a big difference in her attitude.

 

Jackie

 

OP, I have a feeling you weren't asking for parenting advice. :tongue_smilie: I love Jackie's ideas (I always seem to)! I also think that you could also give dd more responsibility with her work - maybe come up with a schedule that the two of you are comfortable with.

 

My 13 year old son was quite difficult this year also. What a different child than last year! We used Netflix a lot!

 

Oak Meadow may also be a good fit. They even have an online program now.

 

How about math with an online tutor? Maybe unit studies or integrated studies, such as LLLOTR? Duke's TIP Arthur Study looks great - we just started today. We are also enjoying Brimwood Press' Young Historian's Kit.

 

For science, we have loved Supercharged Science - online and exciting.

 

Good luck. I know these kids can easily drive us mad! :D

[newbie]

I have a social butterfly too. She attended Veritas this past year, and it fits the bill.

 

She has friends, but I can trust they are good friends. She can message them, but not interfere w/work.

 

The school has rules about pre chatting or post chatting, so that nips it. This really fits her social calendar and she is making great friends who like the same things she does.

 

In short, VP is my suggestion.

[Mandy4]

First, I want to send you (((hugs)))) the teen years are HARD!! We started to struggle with computer issues around 13 with my now 16 yo. We have a no myspace or facebook rule in our house and he set them up anyway. There is an enormous pressure on the kids today. All of their friends are on these sites and they want to fit in. I think 13 is a particularly susceptible age for it because they are not actively playing like they were just a year or so ago and they are not yet old enough to be mobile. So, if let alone, they sit on the computer. Now, at 16, he is rarely on the computer.

I also wanted to comment on the k12 suggestion someone else had. We have used that for several years as an independent. I'm wondering if your homeschool group is against the public school version of k12? If so you could try it as an independent. There is the option to have a lot of accountability from your dd with k12 without you being the one telling her what to do. The planning tool will do that for you and she will visually see what needs to be done every day. You can check her work and sit in on the subjects that you feel she needs more direction on. For my 13 yo that is Math and Grammar. You may want to use something else for science unless you don't mind it being secular.