Ballet moms - guidance needed please....

[Cathycam]

My daughter really loves ballet...but she is a very laid back and easy going girl. There is no competitive bent to her personality and she, in fact, dislikes things she knows are going to be competitive (even against herself, LOL...math speed drills make her crazy).

 

Next year she'll be newly 9, "4th grade", and she's been in classical ballet classes for 4 years.

 

Last fall I let her participate in the local ballet company's classes and Nutcracker....she enjoyed it very much, and seemed to enjoy the challenge but was often frustrated by the other girls quest for perfection. She just wanted it to be fun.... Overall though she liked the challenge of pushing herself and learning on a higher level than her current classes.

 

To the question! ; ) Her ballet school sent out a notice that to be on track for pointe by 12 she would need to take a number of classes equal to her current level (3)....she seems very undecided is she wants to make that commitment/doesn't seem to really have any clear opinion on whether she wants to do pointe at this stage.

 

So how important is it for her to take multiple classes...she currently does 2 a week and that feels like my limit - I have 3 younger children, 2 of whom have a once a week activitiy too.

 

If she doesn't have a burning passion/drive at 8 should I just let things stay the way they are until she does? I keep thinking what if she gets to 12 and everyone else is going on pointe...do I try to avoid the regret I think she'll feel at that point by making this decision for her?

 

I guess we are at a crossroads....I do not think she has great raw natural talent or anything....she simply loves it and has never wanted to do anything else. So do we just keep loving it as a fun activitiy - or stay on a more serious track to avoid future regret? I'd really like some advice, especially from anyone who has had a less driven ballet dancer, loving it but not on the quest for "perfection" :blink:

[Wildiris]

I am somewhat new to ballet. My DD started 1.5 years ago~ age 10, level 3&4. We do 2 sometimes 3 classes a week and she's on track for point and could have gone on point this year if she'd started in a different class in September. DD switch to a pre-point class in January and when the girls went on point and she didn't there were tears. At DD's age all of the girls are looking forward to going on point.

 

The deal with point at our studio is the dancer should be committed to ballet and danced for several years. The girls on point attend at least three classes a week in addition to point class. The main reason I was told that the dancer needs to attend so many classes is for the muscles to develop in the foot, ankle, calf and thigh. All of this preparation is to prevent injury.

 

I don't know about you, but I don't want my daughter to grow up to be a ballerina. But right now she is having fun, hanging out with other girls her age, she does recitals, has learned to work well in a group to produce a show, and learned to negotiate different personalities particularly those she doesn't care for. I'd go for the have fun and participate at your level kind of strategy, or maybe find a more flexible studio.

 

HTH,

Wildiris

 

 

 

 

[LadyR]

It sounds like she is in a good ballet school.

 

I know many girls who take ballet just for the love of it, and I know several girls who take ballet with hope of one day having a professional career (training 5-6 days per week). Even for the recreational dancer, those who hope to go on pointe will need to have a very strong foundation in ballet technique and will need to develop strong muscles in the feet, ankles, legs, and core just to begin to dance on pointe properly and without injury. This will not happen taking ballet twice a week. Most good ballet schools require technique classes three times per week for a couple years before they would even consider allowing a dancer on pointe. It takes this long to develop proper muscle strength.

 

There's a wonderful ballet website called Ballet Talk for Dancers: http://dancers.invisionzone.com/index.php?

This site can be a little overwhelming at first, but it will answer all your questions. It is moderated by a team of classical ballet teachers (all previous dancers). You may need to register (free) to see all the threads. Any questions, feel free to pm me.

[Gretchen in NJ]

Our ballet school does things a little differently then yours. They would not put a child on point until her body was ready or push a child to be ready at a certain age. The school is very concerned about keeping the children injury free.

 

Sometimes, I think talking to our dds and giving them the options and consequences is a good path. Not always. Just Sometimes.

 

Gretchen

[Only me]

My oldest dd has been dancing for almost 12 years. She started dancing when she was 4. My dd sounds alot like yours. She enjoys dance very much but doesn't enjoy competition. She never wanted to be on the dance team.

 

Due to circumstances (moving etc.) she has danced at 4 different studios. When she was younger she danced at a very big dance school through our park district. Their biggest concern was the spring recital. Even though my dd danced for several years there I don't feel that she picked up a lot of skills.

 

When she was 10 we moved and she started going to a small studio. The instructor was an older lady who very much emphasized proper technique and the joy of dance. Any performances that they had were very low key and the costumes were handed down from dancer to dancer. My dd couldn't wait until she was finally in the senior class and could wear the same costume that was handed down from girls that were now in college. At that point my dd was dancing 3-4 days a week but this also included jazz, tap, etc. They didn't have a pre-pointe class but the instructor gently moved the girls in that direction as they developed as a dancer. DD started pointe around 12 and she loved it.

 

That instructor retired and the jazz teacher took over as the director. This teacher was very young and hired a friend of hers to teach advanced ballet. They still didn't have any competitions. The performances started to have a little more emphasis but still relatively low key compared to other studios. My dd learned a lot from the ballet instructor who worked them very hard. She had just graduated from college so she had them doing the same things that she did in college. Unfortunately she moved away and things started to fall apart.

 

The director was offered a job at a nearby studio and took that. She tried to persuade the dancers to leave the current studio and to follow her. My dd tried that studio for a month and hated it. Their main emphasis was on the competition. Even though at this point my dd had been dancing for 10 years she was treated like a nobody because she wasn't part of the competition clique. They were also very big into the recital at the end of the year (expensive costumes, etc.). My dd loves classical pointe. At this studio they were going to dance to a song that was more like hip hop than classical ballet. Instead of a tu tu or something suitable for ballet the girls were going to wear booty shorts and a midriff bearing top. She decided to quit because it was so different from what she wanted.

 

She started dancing at another studio last year. They still emphasized competion and recitals but not as bad and their costumes were nice instead of trashy. DD danced their for a year and a half and just had to quit a few weeks ago. It was a heartbreaking decision but her homework load was too much (she goes to a private school). Even though she had cut back to dancing 2 days a week it was just too much. If she went to dance she would be up until midnight doing homework. Although I think she was doing great she felt that her ability had lowered because she was "only" dancing two days a week. Most of the girls at her level dance at least 4 days a week. Combined with other medical issues that she has right now the stress was just too much and she made the decision to quit. She hopes to take a few classes during the summer.

 

Dd still wasn't very happy with this studio and wishes she could have her old instructor back (the one who retired). It is very hard to find a studio that doesn't emphasize competion. I also think that most studios expect the students to "make it their life" at that level.

 

Regardless I don't think that you need to necessarily make that decision when she is 8 years old. I guess it depends on the studio but I don't think that an 8 year old needs to have ballet 3 days a week in order to take pointe at 12. Many girls don't even start dance until they are 9 or 10 and still get to pointe. My other dd took dance on and off from the time she was 3. When she was 11 she was only dancing a few days a week and took a pre-pointe class. She made it to pointe but at that time we were changing studios and she was told that she had to take ballet 3 times a week. She made the decision that she didn't want to commit that much time to dance.

 

I would wait another year and let your dd continue to take dance just for the joy of it. When she is 9 or 10 she can make the decision whether or not she really wants to make that commitment. At that time she could start taking more classes per week.

[Jenny in Florida]

. . . I do know that at his school (which is considered one of the best in the country) girls your daughter's age would be taking at least three classes a week, two of which would be ballet. My son just turned 10 and is taking five classes a week. Only three of them are ballet, though.

 

They do not rush girls onto pointe. Promotions from level to level are done on the basis of a student's readiness and ability (which includes interest and enthusiasm), not by age. So, a child like your daughter, who is in it for fun, would simply not progress as quickly.

 

As I understand it, though, it does take time and effort to build up the physical readiness to go en pointe. And from the time they start, it takes a certain amount of time to get good. So, a student who opts out of the more rigorous tract may just not be ready at the same age as the other girls.

 

All of which is not to say there aren't examples out there of students who didn't start training until later and still managed to go on to a professional career. But I know that age 9 or 10 is when my son's school shifts from "preparatory" classes to "pre-professional."

 

And, in general, I agree that it seems like a shame that kids must make these decisions so early. I know we're struggling with the fact that my son has two or three real passions he would like to pursue but is having trouble with the fact that all of them are becoming so demanding in terms of schedule.

 

I'm far from an expert on this topic, but I thought I'd share our experiences.

[LadyR]

Just to clarify...because I've found that many parents do not know there is a difference.

 

There's usually a big difference in training and expectations between a local dance studio and a classical ballet school. It's like comparing apples and oranges.

 

Teachers who teach in a classical ballet school have had many years of training and experience dancing professionally as classical ballet dancers. The performances coming out of these schools may be The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Paquita, Les Sylphides, etc,. Dance studios usually have recitals that include hip hop, jazz, lyrical, "ballet", tap, etc. Where I live, there is a dance studio on every corner...lol. But there are only a few schools in the whole (small) state that actually teach classical ballet.

 

Just to give one example: I witnessed a girl around 18 years old who had been dancing in a dance studio since she was three years old. She considered herself an advanced ballet dancer. She and her mom came into our ballet school where she asked to take a trial class. She ended up leaving in tears after about 15 minutes because she had no idea what was going on. She did not know any of the ballet vocabulary and could not correctly complete the basic exercises at the barre. She would have been considered an absolute beginner at this school. Her mom's comment was, "I had no idea that after taking "ballet" all her life, she really wasn't taking ballet. Nobody told me."

 

I think that both dance studios and classical ballet schools offer wonderful opportunities for kids. Like one of the posters said, these kids will learn how to work with people, how a production comes together, they'll learn discipline, get great exercise, etc. I can see in my own dd how her dance training is evident in many areas of her life. But I just hope parents understand that there is a difference in the two, especially in training and expectations.

[Dee22]

My dd is 14 and very serious about ballet. She'd hoped to be off at a summer intensive this year but was injured and is now just getting back to regular classes.

 

What I'd like to add is that pointe work is HARD and from what I've seen it takes a girl with a certain amount of drive to do it well. You definitely want your daughter in a great school and learning the proper technique before she even starts pointe work. So, I'd agree that if she is serious she should be taking more classes before she goes en pointe.

[Dee22]

If she takes a break from ballet and misses it so much that she wants to go back then you may feel better about having her take more classes. At this age a short break will not hurt her. My dd has had many more downs then ups in ballet but she is still driven to do it. I told her last night that I was dreaming that she would go back to class after this injury and decide that it really wasn't her passion. My dream didn't come true :001_smile: It is an expensive and time consuming activity. Many times we have wondered if we should have ever let our dd take that first dance class. Although, even if your daughter doesn't dance very long I do think they learn a lot(other than dance steps) in the process.

[Jenny in Florida]

Just to clarify...because I've found that many parents do not know there is a difference.

 

There's usually a big difference in training and expectations between a local dance studio and a classical ballet school. It's like comparing apples and oranges.

 

Teachers who teach in a classical ballet school have had many years of training and experience dancing professionally as classical ballet dancers. The performances coming out of these schools may be The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Paquita, Les Sylphides, etc,. Dance studios usually have recitals that include hip hop, jazz, lyrical, "ballet", tap, etc.

 

I think that both dance studios and classical ballet schools offer wonderful opportunities for kids. Like one of the posters said, these kids will learn how to work with people, how a production comes together, they'll learn discipline, get great exercise, etc. I can see in my own dd how her dance training is evident in many areas of her life. But I just hope parents understand that there is a difference in the two, especially in training and expectations.

 

Lady Nancy is clearly more knowledgeable about this than I am and said this much more eloquently. However, I was coming back to say more or less the same thing: There are schools and studios out there to accomodate all different kinds of students. Dancing for fun is absolutely fine, but you need to find a studio that accepts and supports that goal.

[LG Gone Wild]

Just to clarify...because I've found that many parents do not know there is a difference.

 

 

Teachers who teach in a classical ballet school have had many years of training and experience dancing professionally as classical ballet dancers. The performances coming out of these schools may be The Nutcracker, Swan Lake, Paquita, Les Sylphides, etc,. Dance studios usually have recitals that include hip hop, jazz, lyrical, "ballet", tap, etc. Where I live, there is a dance studio on every corner...lol. But there are only a few schools in the whole (small) state that actually teach classical ballet.

 

 

I think that both dance studios and classical ballet schools offer wonderful opportunities for kids. Like one of the posters said, these kids will learn how to work with people, how a production comes together, they'll learn discipline, get great exercise, etc. I can see in my own dd how her dance training is evident in many areas of her life. But I just hope parents understand that there is a difference in the two, especially in training and expectations.

 

:iagree:

 

I've only been to two dance studios and this was exactly the difference between the two. We are going with classical because I want my dd to learn ballet. Perhaps down the road, we might do something different.

[Rebecca in GA]

Promotions from level to level are done on the basis of a student's readiness and ability (which includes interest and enthusiasm), not by age.

 

This is how our ballet studio works as well.

[Ellie]

It is admirable that the school isn't pushing little dancers to be on pointe at young ages, but unless she has a burning desire, I say do two classes a week and enjoy it.

 

My dd didn't even begin ballet until she was 12 or 13, although she had been doing Highland dance since she was 5, and she's a ballet teacher today--a good one. She *loves* ballet. If I had started her in a good ballet school instead of Highland, we might have gone to multiple classes weekly because she would have loved it so much, but it worked out for her anyway to begin dancing later.

[abbeyej]

It sounds like she's at a serious classical school with high standards. Even if you *don't* want to pursue dance to level that the school *could* offer, it probably means that the training is superior (and safer) than she would receive at a weaker school. That's good.

 

My eight year old son does three classes a week -- two classical ballet, and one additional class a week (in technique-based jazz, though a technique oriented modern class would be an equally acceptable option). I know when I took ballet, three classical classes a week were standard by at least age 10. And yes, I totally buy into the school's argument that three classes a week would be the best preparation for beginning pointe work (and doing it properly) at eleven or twelve.

 

That said, I also think it's *very* likely that if your daughter kept up with two classes a week and 9 and 10, she could change her mind at 11 or 12 and increase the number of classes she's taking and quickly catch up with the other girls. Assuming she's getting good training in those two classes a week, a little extra motivation at 11 or 12 would balance it all out. And even if she adds pointe in a year after her friends, in the end, it could balance out.

 

*Or* she may decide that she never wants to take more than two classes a week, and she could simply dance without ever doing pointe. I think classical ballet training is valuable for a lifetime with or without pointe (and whether or not one has any interest in pursuing dance as a career). Alternatively, she may decide that she wants to take the classical training she has, and study jazz or modern at some point. (Several people have pointed out the vast difference between many "dance studios" and classical ballet schools -- the differences can be even stronger and more subtle when it comes to the training a child can get in jazz or modern... Be very careful to find an excellent teacher, if that's what she wants to do.)

 

If neither you nor she are up to three classes a week *right*now* though, I would stick with two. Two classes a week for the next 2-3 years plus motivation later on will be enough for her to catch back up *if* she ever wants to.

[tmkclscroggins]

I have a nearly 15 yr old dd who is very involved with dance.

 

Right now, you are walking such a fine line. You want your daughter to continue her love of ballet but you also need to get her ready for advanced studies if she chooses that later. By 10, I would say we were doing 5-6 classes a week. She does all forms of dance - tap, jazz, ballet, and modern.

 

If ballet is her true love, I would look for a conservative classical ballet studio. You don't want her pushed to be pointe at a certain age. A good studio will look carefully at her feet and make sure she has the strength in her legs and feet to pull up on pointe. This isn't something that can happen at a certain age since everyone's development is different.

 

Dance can become a full-time commitment very easily. We are doing about 13 classes a week now and my daughter will add 4-6 more next year.

 

Maybe the best thing to do is talk to the studio director and your daughter. It seems like dancers have to decide so young whether they want to be serious about it or just have fun.

 

Sorry for rambling.......again!

melissa

[Kelli in TN]

We have found that going from one to two classes a week has given my daughter a taste of what is expected and this has made it easier for her to start making some choices.

 

Every spring I come to these boards with the same old thing "Help. My daughter dances like a football player. Should we continue or is this hopeless?"

 

Everyone always encouraged me to continue. This year my daughter is 10. We added a second class and the work got much, much harder. After seven months of putting our all into dance my daughter has improved drastically. But she has also come to the conclusion on her own that while she will always love the idea of ballet, she doesn't love dancing. She would rather put this time and energy into improving as a swimmer.

 

I am so glad I let her continue until she was was ready to stop. Ballet is so fantastic for their flexibility and grace, no regrets here.

 

 

(But I am secretly glad not to have those two classes per week and I am glad to know that I will never, ever, ever have to sew another tutu.)