Do you & your spouse pray together?

[asta]

i think what you say is very important - "break through my wall." prayer is such a personal, intimate thing, that it can be very difficult to share. the statistics are probably proving more than just that couples who pray together stay together. these couples are probably more willing to share their deepest heartfelt needs, care for each other in prayer, lift up others that they love together, and "do battle" with and for each other on their knees. the strength that comes from two people being that honest with each other in and of itself is phenomenal, but if in fact God is involved, answering their prayers, and being present in the relationship, it stands to reason why so few of those marriages break up.

 

consider how the enemy would love to see us keep it all to ourselves and be soldiers fighting alone. we're much easier to defeat that way, but "a cord of three strands is not easily broken." i know i need to lay down my pride and pray with my spouse and see what happens when we do!

 

Who is the enemy?

 

 

a

[lionfamily1999]

Who is the enemy?

 

 

a

Satan. Lucifer. Evil itself.

[TXMomof4]

Over my pay-grade. The verbiage below is lifted directly from the linked article:

 

"Barna uses the term "non-denominational" to refer to Evangelical Christian congregations that are not affiliated with a specific denomination. The vast majority are fundamentalist in their theological beliefs."

 

Bill

 

That goes back to the other thread about 'what is a fundamentalist Christian'. The actual definition and the perception of what a fundamentalist are are two entirely different animals in my book.

[PiCO]

I would believe...

 

I think this is where all the misunderstandings come from. Everyone would "like to believe" that their own belief system generates the healthiest marriages.

[jld]

Sometimes I ask dh to pray for me, but not every day. I find it comforting.

[angela in ohio]

That may be referring to newer churches that previously might have been called Fundamental Baptist or Bible churches, are independent/unaffiliated, and are chosing to call themselves non-denominational to avoid the stigma associated with the historically accurate but now highly charged label Fundamentalist. (fundamentalist mormons that are polygamists, fundamentalist muslims that are terrorists, etc.)

 

Maybe. I just couldn't wrap my brain around Barna's definition. When I hear people talk about non-denominational churches IRL, they are usually talking about very large churches with more liberal beliefs.

[angela in ohio]

Alright everyone... I think this is straying from my original question.

 

I simply wanted to know if there were any couples that prayed together and if those couples had seen benefits from it, both in their relationship and with their family in general. I mentioned that I was Christian, but never said that the responses had to be only from other Christians. I wanted to know about the whole praying together with your spouse thing... that's all.

 

I had just heard the statistic yesterday in Sunday school. I thought it was pretty cool. I hadn't seen this whole article that some of you are debating about on here.

 

I do want to thank everyone again who shared your experiences of praying together with your spouse. Those are the type answers I was looking for... I wasn't trying to cause an issue with whether Christians divorce more, or pray more, etc....

 

Everyone have a great evening! :001_smile:

 

That's the nature of a message board. It's like asking a question in a room full of people: some will answer your question, and some will start side conversations based on it. Once it's out there, you cannot moderate or control the conversation.

 

Also, as Spy Car said, you posted a statistic, and any statistics are usually open to argument. If someone disagrees with something you state as fact, they will reply with their side.

[PeterPan]

Maybe. I just couldn't wrap my brain around Barna's definition. When I hear people talk about non-denominational churches IRL, they are usually talking about very large churches with more liberal beliefs.

 

I have to agree with you, that I was surprised by him putting it that emphatically or making it seem so statistically significant. I know *1* church like that and only *1*. I know some other people in other states that I think *might* be in churches in that boat. But yes, in general non-denominational means something totally different. And no, I don't see how anyone can quibble over the label Fundamentalist (or would want to). It's a historical designation of a particular group in church history in the last century, not some kind of purity or authenticity test.

[Teachin'Mine]

I think there might have been some misinformation from the Barna study. Here's part of what's actually on their site:

 

 

"Among adults who have been married, the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split.

The study showed that the percentage of adults who have been married and divorced varies from segment to segment. For instance, the groups with the most prolific experience of marriage ending in divorce are downscale adults (39%), Baby Boomers (38%), those aligned with a non-Christian faith (38%), African-Americans (36%), and people who consider themselves to be liberal on social and political matters (37%).

 

Among the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced subsequent to marriage are Catholics (28%), evangelicals (26%), upscale adults (22%), Asians (20%) and those who deem themselves to be conservative on social and political matters (28%).

 

Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced. The survey did not determine if the divorce occurred before or after the person had become born again. However, previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage.

 

In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively.

 

Thirty percent of atheists and agnostics had been married and subsequently divorced. However, the three-point difference from the national average was within the range of sampling error, suggesting that their likelihood of experiencing a dissolved marriage is the same as that of the population at-large. A representative from Barna also pointed out the atheists and agnostics have lower rates of marriage and a higher likelihood of cohabitation, a combination of behaviors that distort comparisons with other segments."

 

 

HTH :001_smile:

[Teachin'Mine]

However, nothing in the Barna study shows how wonderful it is for couples and families to pray together.

 

Try it - you'll like it. :001_smile:

[Diane in CO]

 

Lord, give me the strength to greet the coming day in peace. Help me in all things to rely on Your holy will. Reveal Your will to me every hour of the day. Bless my dealings with all people. Teach me to treat all people who come to me with peace of soul and with firm conviction that Your will governs all. In all my deeds and words guide my thoughts and feelings. In unforeseen events, let me not forget that all are sent by you. Teach me to act firmly and wisely, without embittering and embarrassing others. Give me the physical strength to bear the labors of this day and all that it shall bring. Direct my will, teach me to pray, pray in me. Amen.

 

What a beautiful way to start out the day! Thank you!

 

Diane

[Teachin'Mine]

I agree! That is a beautiful prayer Patty. Thank you for sharing it with us. :001_smile:

[angela in ohio]

I think there might have been some misinformation from the Barna study. Here's part of what's actually on their site:

 

 

"Among adults who have been married' date=' the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split.[/b']

The study showed that the percentage of adults who have been married and divorced varies from segment to segment. For instance, the groups with the most prolific experience of marriage ending in divorce are downscale adults (39%), Baby Boomers (38%), those aligned with a non-Christian faith (38%), African-Americans (36%), and people who consider themselves to be liberal on social and political matters (37%).

 

Among the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced subsequent to marriage are Catholics (28%), evangelicals (26%), upscale adults (22%), Asians (20%) and those who deem themselves to be conservative on social and political matters (28%).

 

Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced. The survey did not determine if the divorce occurred before or after the person had become born again. However, previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage.

 

In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively.

 

Thirty percent of atheists and agnostics had been married and subsequently divorced. However, the three-point difference from the national average was within the range of sampling error, suggesting that their likelihood of experiencing a dissolved marriage is the same as that of the population at-large. A representative from Barna also pointed out the atheists and agnostics have lower rates of marriage and a higher likelihood of cohabitation, a combination of behaviors that distort comparisons with other segments."

 

 

HTH :001_smile:

 

Wow, that is different! I forgot the first rule I taught my dc: when on the internet, go back to the original source and check the facts. Off to the Barna site...

[chiguirre]

Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced. The survey did not determine if the divorce occurred before or after the person had become born again. However' date=' previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage.[/b']

 

In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively.

 

Hi TeachinMine, I looked at the study you cited on the Barna website and I have a question. What is a born again non-evangelical Christian? I read his definitions, but I couldn't place the list of beliefs in a denominational context.

[Teachin'Mine]

Hi TeachinMine, I looked at the study you cited on the Barna website and I have a question. What is a born again non-evangelical Christian? I read his definitions, but I couldn't place the list of beliefs in a denominational context.

 

Good question. I don't know.

 

I just looked up Wikipedia, and it didn't help me to understand any better.

Edited March 17, 2010 by Teachin'Mine

[EmeraldGirl]

Honestly, I wish we did it much more. We tend to pray during crisis. I am not sure what the issue is? Thanks for the statistics...interesting.

[angela in ohio]

Hi TeachinMine, I looked at the study you cited on the Barna website and I have a question. What is a born again non-evangelical Christian? I read his definitions, but I couldn't place the list of beliefs in a denominational context.

 

They have been "born again;" i.e. they have been saved by having trusted Jesus as Lord and Savior.

"...their faith is very important in their life today."

They feel that they have a personal responsibility to share their religious beliefs with non-Christians.

They believe that Satan exists as a living entity.

The Bible is accurate in all it teaches.

They believe that salvation is possible only through grace, not by personal effort or works.

They believe that Jesus Christ lived a sinless life on earth.

They believe that God: Exists,

Created the universe,

Is omniscient, omnipotent and perfect, and

Rules the universe today.

 

According to the originally posted site (now suspect, but the only place I could find a definition,) this is the definition of an evangelical. So, a non-evangelical would be any Christian who does not subscribe to all of these.

[chiguirre]

According to the originally posted site (now suspect, but the only place I could find a definition,) this is the definition of an evangelical. So, a non-evangelical would be any Christian who does not subscribe to all of these.

 

Well, to be fair to the original site, they said in their footnote that Barna had taken the original survey off his website and replaced it with the 2008 survey. However, in the 2008 survey, he didn't use the same categories as he did in the original survey, so it's hard to see if the actual results changed or if he just changed the way he categorized the results. That's why I'd like to know which denominations count as "born-again, but not evangelical".

[angela in ohio]

Well, to be fair to the original site, they said in their footnote that Barna had taken the original survey off his website and replaced it with the 2008 survey. However, in the 2008 survey, he didn't use the same categories as he did in the original survey, so it's hard to see if the actual results changed or if he just changed the way he categorized the results. That's why I'd like to know which denominations count as "born-again, but not evangelical".

 

It seems to me that Barna figured out that 'Christian' was too ambiguous and adjusted his next survey accordingly (giving paramaters.) I would think the relgioustolerance.org site would update to the newer information, and I wonder why they haven't.

 

I can think of many posters here from past threads who would fit the 'born-again, but not evangelical' category, based on the fact that they do not believe the Bible is accurate in all that it teaches. Hopefully, someone in that category can post their denomination. I personally know "born again" Catholics who would fit this category, because they do believe that certain acts are necessary to salvation.

[lionfamily1999]

I think there might have been some misinformation from the Barna study. Here's part of what's actually on their site:

 

 

"Among adults who have been married' date=' the study discovered that one-third (33%) have experienced at least one divorce. That means that among all Americans 18 years of age or older, whether they have been married or not, 25% have gone through a marital split.[/b']

The study showed that the percentage of adults who have been married and divorced varies from segment to segment. For instance, the groups with the most prolific experience of marriage ending in divorce are downscale adults (39%), Baby Boomers (38%), those aligned with a non-Christian faith (38%), African-Americans (36%), and people who consider themselves to be liberal on social and political matters (37%).

 

Among the population segments with the lowest likelihood of having been divorced subsequent to marriage are Catholics (28%), evangelicals (26%), upscale adults (22%), Asians (20%) and those who deem themselves to be conservative on social and political matters (28%).

 

Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced. The survey did not determine if the divorce occurred before or after the person had become born again. However, previous research by Barna has shown that less than two out of every ten people who accept Christ as their savior do so after their first marriage.

 

In fact, when evangelicals and non-evangelical born again Christians are combined into an aggregate class of born again adults, their divorce figure is statistically identical to that of non-born again adults: 32% versus 33%, respectively.

 

Thirty percent of atheists and agnostics had been married and subsequently divorced. However, the three-point difference from the national average was within the range of sampling error, suggesting that their likelihood of experiencing a dissolved marriage is the same as that of the population at-large. A representative from Barna also pointed out the atheists and agnostics have lower rates of marriage and a higher likelihood of cohabitation, a combination of behaviors that distort comparisons with other segments."

 

 

HTH :001_smile:

That does put a different spin on things, thanks for posting this :D

[LibraryLover]

Does replying "Oh My God, are you crazy!?" in unison when the 16 yr old asks for a car for his next birthday count?

[Teachin'Mine]

You're welcome Julie! :001_smile:

 

LibraryLover, how about - "Are you crazy??? God please protect him and all the other drivers and pedestrians when he's behind the wheel."

 

That would qualify! :lol:

[lionfamily1999]

You're welcome Julie! :001_smile:

 

LibraryLover' date=' how about - "Are you crazy??? God please protect him and all the other drivers and pedestrians when he's behind the wheel."

 

That would qualify! :lol:[/quote']

or... Good Lord, please give him the discernment to find his own answer to that question ;)

[GraceinMD]

Before we married (almost 19 yrs ago), we decided that we had a "rule" that if one of us ever wanted to pray about something, the other would immediately drop what he or she was doing and stop and pray. That sounds sort of silly, but it's been important to me to have that knowledge that my dh would drop everything for something that I thought was impt. We also pray many nights or mornings together.

 

One thing that we also have is what I think of as a "blessing box." It's an old, wooden loose tea box that was my great-grandmother's. I put a bunch of slips of paper in there, and over the years, we have added little notes about specific answers to prayer or special blessings -- usually about "big" things. It's been a real blessing to me to have this record of God's faithfulness to us over the years - and it's been really fun to look in the box every so often and find that dh has added something on his own.

 

I would encourage you to try to pray with your dh, even if it seems awkward or even embarrassing at first - and praying a(n already written out) prayer (or reading through a Psalm as prayer) as Patty Joanna mentioned might make it easier at first!