What to do with an 11 yo who does not want to do any "outside" activities

[dancer67]

My 11 yo was doing dance for a while, then hated it. Then she started with an afterschool program at the public schools, and then told me the kids were awful and did not want to go back(I didn't blame her there).

We do not have ANY homeschool groups near us.

 

She has no interest in getting involved with any outside activities. She is perfectly content to be home, doing her schoolwork, reading her books, writing her music, making music videos and writing books.

 

She is very, very social. When we are out, she talks to everybody. She does have friends. She talk to them on the phone and every once in a while she will have them stay over, but not often.

 

Should I be concerned that she does not want to join anything?

 

She is with me all day, and would think she would want to be with kids her own age once in a while doing something fun.

 

What do you think?

[Ellie]

I wouldn't worry about it, although I'd be inclined to do lots of field trips, even when it's just the two of you. Ok, I like lots of field trips, anyway, lol, but still, if she doesn't want to, I don't see a reason to push it.

[Anne]

Sometimes each of us just needs a break. I wouldn't worry about it.

 

One of my dds was very reluctant to try new things when she was young. My dh and I periodically insisted that she try something that we felt she might enjoy, such as volleyball or dance. Often, she found that the new activity was quite enjoyable once she gave it a try. However, we didn't insist she continue something she didn't enjoy.

 

Anne

[5wolfcubs]

My 10yo ds saw your post title and this conversation followed:

 

DS: Change the one to a zero and you'd have me.

Me: What? You have Karate and Chess and Cub Scouts.

DS: Those are inside activities!

 

Seriously, though, most of my kids would content at home all day, everyday. I like spending time with the other homeschool moms at the above activities though! :lol:

[Guest mrs. logic]

My 11 yo was doing dance for a while, then hated it. Then she started with an afterschool program at the public schools, and then told me the kids were awful and did not want to go back(I didn't blame her there).

We do not have ANY homeschool groups near us.

 

She has no interest in getting involved with any outside activities. She is perfectly content to be home, doing her schoolwork, reading her books, writing her music, making music videos and writing books.

 

She is very, very social. When we are out, she talks to everybody. She does have friends. She talk to them on the phone and every once in a while she will have them stay over, but not often.

 

Should I be concerned that she does not want to join anything?

 

She is with me all day, and would think she would want to be with kids her own age once in a while doing something fun.

 

What do you think?

It could be a phase she is going through.

I remember at the age of 11yo reading Nancy Drew books, writing poetry and listening to Shaun Cassidy on my stero.

[dancer67]

Okay, I won't worry about it then. I ask her if she wants to do such and such and she just says "no, I don't want to".

 

I love that boy's response....:lol:

 

She loves her "field trips" with me to the Dr's....LOL. I go in to get my BP checked and that, for some reason thrills her. I wish I could be that thrilled:D

 

Thanks ladies:001_smile:

[Jennifer in MI]

Not that I think she NEEDS to be involved in anything, but what about a book club? She likes to read - it might suit her well.

[Parrothead]

 

She loves her "field trips" with me to the Dr's....LOL. I go in to get my BP checked and that, for some reason thrills her. I wish I could be that thrilled:D

 

 

Could she possibly think the field of medicine is cool? Maybe volunteering at the local hospital. Do they still have candy strippers? Or maybe the local nursing home.

[Desert Rat]

I was thinking book club as well, not that I think she needs an activity. Your dd sounds like me when I was younger. I turned out ok. :o

[kpupg]

That is how I am. I get along with people fairly easily, but I'm not really into outside clubs/activities (and never have been).

 

I don't think I would do anything. Not everyone likes that sort of stuff.

 

 

:iagree:

 

To this day, I heave a big sigh of relief when my calendar tells me that I don't have to drive anyone anywhere today :)

 

 

 

One of my dds was very reluctant to try new things when she was young. My dh and I periodically insisted that she try something that we felt she might enjoy, such as volleyball or dance. Often, she found that the new activity was quite enjoyable once she gave it a try. However, we didn't insist she continue something she didn't enjoy.

 

 

If this were my child, I would probably require her to participate in one outside activity on a regular basis ... even just a one-hour-a-week thing ... and I would change it up to expose her to new experiences and ideas. Hypothetical illustration: take karate lessons for 3 months, then join the library book club for 3 months, then <whatever> for 3 months ... maybe take the summer off ... who knows, maybe she'll stumble across an interest that will take root and grow ...

 

But I do think it's a good thing to be comfortable in your own skin and to be comfortable with solitude ...

[KidsHappen]

I wouldn't worry. It is entirely possible that she is just a homebody and introvert and there is nothing wrong with that. Many hobbies are solitary in nature but enriching just the same.

[Jennifer in MI]

Do they still have candy strippers? Or maybe the local nursing home.

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol: This is a funny typo!!!! I have the feeling this is not what she wants her 11 yo dd doing!!:lol::lol:

[tricia]

I wouldn't worry one bit. Most of my girls were/are like this. I have 9 daughters and they have always been content being home and they are all very well adjusted girls and young women.

[Tap]

I don't see a problem with it but if you decide to keep trying new things I would look for more unique offerings. The kids tend to be a little more focused at things like

 

Pre-swim team instead of swimming lessons

Crew (rowing)

Small private art classes (4-5 kids) instead of kid centered art studios

Soccer skill building classes instead of community leagues

Small group music lessons instead of large group.

 

 

We have been much happier in smaller groups instead of the larger 'free for all' classes. Even though they cost more, the attention to individual students is much greater.