Teens and computer time

[iteachmine]

I am just curious to know how others are managing their teens and personal computer time.

Do you set daily or weekly limits? Do you give them free reign,since they will soon be in college/away anyway? I am specifically talking about high schoolers.

There are so many distractions with social networking, cell phones,etc. Do your kids have these things? How are you handling this with your kids?

Please, Please share!:D

[rose_king]

There are so many distractions with social networking, cell phones,etc. Do your kids have these things? How are you handling this with your kids?

 

Please, Please share!:D

 

We do have those things. Computer and cell phone time is allowed after everything is finished. (Chores, school) I let them know that these are not essential to our lives and can be taken away. I keep all passwords. My kids know that when they are on the computer that I watch constantly. The internet is a wonderful source, but a dangerous one as well. I don't have set times, but I have no problem telling them enough is enough. Attitude is another factor. You give me attitude, I take the computer:D

 

My friends who have their kids in PS tell me I am too strict. :tongue_smilie:

[gingersmom]

My daughter is so busy between school and ice skating that there is virtually no free time during the week to be hanging out on the computer.

 

She has lost 3 cell phones this year and went for months without one. Luckily she has never been cell phone obsessed.

 

She just discovered Facebook last weekend and is allowed to access only on Friday and Saturday all day and Sunday after her "homework" has been finished.

[Michelle in AL]

We had to seriously limit time for one dd as it was affecting her personality and grades. When this happened we limited time and things still didn't improve. Then we took them all away (computer, cell phone and i touch) for a couple weeks. She was a new person. Now we're adding things back in slowly. She can have an hour total per day of cell phone or texting combined..

 

We did this though because it did negatively effect her. The 2 weeks she was without were the happiest I've ever seen her. She's a serious, quiet girl and although she loves her friends, I think the constant interruptions were bothering her.

 

My other dd isn't bothered by it and doesn't overuse either.

[Love2Smile]

I thought I posted a reply here, did it get removed??? If so why???

[Love2Smile]

nevermind, I think this was posted twice somewhere else

[Mabelen]

We do have those things. Computer and cell phone time is allowed after everything is finished. (Chores, school) I let them know that these are not essential to our lives and can be taken away. I keep all passwords. My kids know that when they are on the computer that I watch constantly. The internet is a wonderful source, but a dangerous one as well. I don't have set times, but I have no problem telling them enough is enough. Attitude is another factor. You give me attitude, I take the computer:D

 

My friends who have their kids in PS tell me I am too strict. :tongue_smilie:

 

This is exactly what I do with my 13 yo.

I am a PS mom and I don't think you are too strict, hehe!

[Carmen_and_Company]

My daughter is so busy between school and ice skating that there is virtually no free time during the week to be hanging out on the computer.

 

She has lost 3 cell phones this year and went for months without one. Luckily she has never been cell phone obsessed.

 

She just discovered Facebook last weekend and is allowed to access only on Friday and Saturday all day and Sunday after her "homework" has been finished.

 

Ditto with dance, Storm doesn't have much free time to surf or play games via the Internet after school, homework, and ECs.

[Guest Katia]

My dd is a senior and doesn't care about the cell phone or texting at all. However, I do find that the internet is a BIG problem, but I have no idea how to 'fix' it.

 

Before this year, we had strict guidelines in place as to usage; but since she is a senior this year, we talked about the fact that next year she would be on her own at college and that this year would be a good time to learn to take responsibility for her schedule, time and internet usage, so we took off all restrictions.

 

Sigh.

 

She is getting her work done. But, she reads fan fiction constantly. And I mean, while she is doing her school work.....while is watching tv.......while visiting with a friend that comes over......

 

It is just so....rude. Like an addiction. We've talked about it, but since she is getting things 'done', she doesn't see a problem.

 

But 'done' is a relative term. She has always been quiet, but now we don't talk at.all. And when I try to talk to her about this.....she closes her eyes to block me out!

 

Right now, she is supposed to be practicing her piano for an upcoming audition....and I have had to 'remind' her about 20 times today to practice, but she was reading the computer all.day.long. Now, at 8pm, she is going to 'go over' a few things for her lesson tomorrow.

 

Sigh.

 

I think I hate the computer. She has changed and I have no clue where to go from here. So, I'm trying to just trust her and believe that things will get better.......

[AngieW in Texas]

I used to have a time limit of 2 hours daily, 15 hours weekly for my kids.

 

I took the limits off for my oldest because she needs to learn how to monitor herself. She's almost 17yo and is a high school junior. I do require that she start school by 10am. After that, she can't get on the computer until she is done with school. I don't have any other limits for her though. She uses her phone only to call me and she doesn't text, so that isn't a problem. I don't care if she listens to her ipod while she does school. She is keeping up with everything, but I would like to her see her interacting more and computering <g> less.

 

*edited to add - I forgot that I do have one restriction on the computer for my 16yo (doesn't affect the others because they are already in bed by that time). The computer my 16yo uses shuts off automatically at 11pm. None of my kids can log in after that time. It doesn't affect the others, because my 16yo is always the one on that computer and my others are nearly always in bed by that time.

 

My middle dd is very diligent about everything she does. She spends maybe 1 hour/day on the computer. She has an ipod, but doesn't use it while she's doing school because she finds it distracting (unlike my 16yo who can't seem to think without hers going). She uses her phone only to call me and doesn't text. I've never found it necessary to restrict her from anything except vegetables. Yes, I did have to restrict her fruit/vegetable intake after she managed to turn herself orange. She monitors her fruit/vegetable intake herself now.

 

I don't restrict my youngest either, but she self-monitors pretty well. She does text quite a bit, but she keeps it reasonable. She is on the computer a lot, but she is mostly using it to write stories. She has written well over 100 typed pages since the 1st of the year, so I'm not complaining at all. This is more than I've gotten from her in her entire life so far.

Edited February 23, 2010 by AngieW in Texas

[choirfarm]

My oldest is 15 and doesn't have a cell phone. I guess I see no point in having a cell phone until they can drive. That is the rule in our house. Besides, who would he call...us??? We have one computer in the playroom/schoolroom. He would always have to ask to get on the computer and we thought we had the internet password/parental controlled to get around it. When he was in 7th grade, I discovered he had broken it and seen some innappropriate sites. So for over a year, we completely redid the internet and I lock up the computer when I am not at home. He asks to get on it and I am in the room. He is in 9th grade. I am just now starting not to have to be in the room ALL the time as long as his brother is with him. He looks at ESPN, Olympic coverage, etc. He is SO sports obsessed. All three children get 2 hours of video game time on the weekends, which they can lose by their behavior. My oldest is always so good and compliant, so he never loses time. Which is why it was such a shock. He is SO SO Sneaky and quiet about things...won't outright obey, more passive aggressive. I plan to slowly give him more privileges, but I'm not sure how. My trust was so broken in this child. (He didn't just do it once, but three times over the course of one year. I don't know what the answer is.

 

Christine

[Joan in GE]

8 years at least, all ages have a limit of 1/2 hour on Wed and 1/2 on Sunday with the exception of playing a more educational type of game such as Oregon Trail (not a math speed type of thing), where they can have 45 min instead of only half an hour.

 

This has given them a little taste of games but forced them to find other pursuits when bored and now most don't even do those 1/2 hours (plus we never do those violent type of games which can be really addictive - after we made the mistake with my oldest doing Star Wars games and he was spending hours daydreaming about them).

 

It is really only my youngest who is now using her time since she rediscoverd Anno 1602. She needs to have her homework and chores done and her room and desk cleaned before she starts.

 

About the internet, our younger children are much more disciplined, but for my oldest, before he became an adult, we would take away the connector which enabled the connection if we were going out and he was unsupervised since the computer with internet connection is in our dining room which is joined to living room etc and unlockable...

 

There are interesting articles about the addiction of Facebook and how people who use it more are actually less happy individuals. Since then my oldest went on a Facebook diet - only allowing himself 1/2 hour a day and it is I who hold the password, sign him in and he puts on a timer. He says he is more clearminded and happier now.

 

I myself went on a WTM fast for 3 weeks end last Oct and early Nov and now diet...:001_smile:

 

Joan

Edited February 22, 2010 by Joan in Geneva

[Jackie in NE]

It was cross-posted on the general board. I posted my response there.

[Jean in Wisc]

Fortunately, it has never been a problem here. All my kids have cell phones, and the only one who is on it all the time is my dd (now 21yo)--talking to her fiancee. :D

 

My son gets a lot of phone calls and he takes them throughout the day, but they are almost always related to Civil Air Patrol--he is the cadet squadron commander.

 

We have one or two computer games, and those never were played during the school day (I think I gave them a number of hours/week that they could play them). They all shared a computer when they were all homeschooling, so no one was allowed to sit there forever.

 

My kids are busy doing other things. Cell phones, computers...serve a purpose, and, thankfully, I've not had to do a lot of policing.

[kpupg]

I am just curious to know how others are managing their teens and personal computer time.

 

Do you set daily or weekly limits? Do you give them free reign,since they will soon be in college/away anyway? I am specifically talking about high schoolers.

 

There are so many distractions with social networking, cell phones,etc. Do your kids have these things? How are you handling this with your kids?

 

Please, Please share!:D

 

The kids have a shared cell phone for MY convenience, not theirs. It has no capability for texting or surfing. They use it only to call me or Dad to come pick them up/whatever. I don't know when, if ever, I will give them "full" cell phone privileges ...

 

Our family does not do online social networking. Social anything is done IRL here. :)

 

We all play computer games, including a couple of MMOs. That time is permitted after all the schoolwork, chores, outside activities, church obligations, etc. are done. In practical terms, that means there are usually a couple days a week when the kids get no game time at all, but OTOH, they usually get a lot of time on lazy Sunday afternoons.

 

Our computers are located in a common area -- no one gets a computer in their own room -- so we all share in some degree what we're doing online. We don't have any Xbox type game systems, and we have only one TV for the whole family.

[mom2paul]

This has been a huge problem in our home for the past few months. Hubby is *this close* to taking the computer away completely, but for now, ds was just put on computer restriction. None. Not for a month. He was abusing his time, going to Facebook and forums where his friends hang out, and not completing his assignments. He used to love to read, books everywhere, but now there is little to no interest. He reads what he HAS to read for schoolwork and then it's like pulling teeth. Computer is God - First thing in the morning and last thing at night. Yes, an addiction. Like one of the other posters mentioned, my son's personality even changes when he's on it. When I would tell him to get off, well, he wasn't the sweet son I know.

 

It is day 2 of 30 days. He is calmer, but he was literally sick in his stomach yesterday! You might think he was coming off cocaine! I am serious!

 

I am so glad this topic is being discussed, because I was feeling like I was alone in this craziness, as we have never had this kind of conflict in our home before. :angelsad2:

[Starr]

I definitely think this comes under the less is more category. I've always limited computer time. Dd has a cell phone mainly to reach me. She's not interested in buying more minutes for herself. She is dying to be on facebook but I don't see where she has time so I've said no for now.

[TravelingChris]

I have two teens. My older has no restrictions. SHe has a computer in her room that she has to share with her sister to some extent. She has a cellphone but doesn't use it almost ever. She isn't into social networking very much though she does keep up with a few friends from earlier posts by that route. She is my most driven kid and my hardest working kid and I see no reason to limit her since she doesn't have an obsession. She is either working on her evidence briefs, writing her novel, managing her emails which are full of college stuff, or watching a movie or tv show online.

 

Now her younger sister is a different matter. She wants to play games and spends quite a bit of time with personal emails. I have to take the laptop away and keep it at night so she doesn't stay up. She also has a cellphone but doesn't use it either.

[LanaTron]

We are having issues with this here...I took on too many outside responsibilities this year, and haven't been as focused on my dc, and they've had a lot of screen time...I mean a lot.

 

I am going to correct things...today I severely restricted how much time they were in front of the screens...my older kids did okay, and the youngest, too, but my 10 yo--OY--he was whining and whimpering and angry all day! And I am going to cut back on my outside commitments so that I have the mental energy to make sure my kids are getting what they need so they don't feel like they need to find fulfullment in electronics.

 

Anyway, as I've been contemplating the steps I need to take to get things back how they should be around here, I've wondered about how to handle things in the high school years, which I will be entering with my eldest dc next fall.

 

BTW, none of mine have cell phones, and won't until they are driving. They are also not on Facebook, or any other social networking site...I could see them doing that around 16 or 17. They play games on the computer (my sons really enjoy Runescape), and Wii, and they watch TV.