Foster Parents: have you been getting a record number of calls

[CalicoKat]

for potential placements this month?

 

I'm overwhelmed. In the past couple weeks we've been called 5 times.

 

I've never had my licensing worker call us and plea for us to consider someone who's older than my oldest (10). We've been working with this person for a long time now and she knows, she was even the woman to recommend "only placements younger than your youngest." Either that or she's softening me up for the next call which she knows falls under the criteria and I won't be able to refuse again. :glare: But that's just the non-caffeinated, just-drug-5-kids-through-an-orthodontist-evaulation-appt., me speaking.

 

It breaks my heart. But I know I have to do what's best for our family.

 

If you've been kicking around the idea of fostering can I politely suggest taking the next step toward actively fostering? The need is huge.

[Miss Peregrine]

We were approved in November and have had 1 call 2 days after our approval. They went to a family member and we have had no calls since.:confused:

[OnTheBrink]

I have kicked the idea around, but honestly, we really don't have the physical room for another child.

[RebeccaS]

I think dh and I may be too picky. Our last placement left end of September. We've not had one single call. We have not gone this long without a placement since we've been licensed. We only take in youngin's though.

[Free Indeed]

The need is huge, but there are too many hoops to jump through. Also with my youngest being 6, not sure how much help we would be only taking in preschoolers. Edited to add that dh and I are willing, even tried to jump through the hoops, but didn't make it, just in case it sounded like I was saying the kids are not worth our time. Not my intention at all.

Edited January 4, 2010 by Free Indeed

[CalicoKat]

The need is huge, but there are too many hoops to jump through. Also with my youngest being 6, not sure how much help we would be only taking in preschoolers. Edited to add that dh and I are willing, even tried to jump through the hoops, but didn't make it, just in case it sounded like I was saying the kids are not worth our time. Not my intention at all.

totally get not wanting to jump through the hoops. Initially we did the training, finished it, and said, "NEVER." It was 7 year after our initial training that we finally accepted a placement, then a year later another. :D

 

It's gotta be right.

[mycalling]

Why do they say only children younger than your youngest? Is it for your own children's safety?

 

We've always wanted to do this, but figured we wouldn't qualify since my husband has a 12yo felony.

[Miss Peregrine]

Why do they say only children younger than your youngest? Is it for your own children's safety?

 

 

 

It is usually the family's preference, so as not to disrupt birth order. Many families foster/adopt out of birth order and it works for them.

[Impish]

Not just family preference, here...its what they will and won't do themselves. No 'twinning' and last I heard, very very difficult to adopt out of birth order, if not an outright refusal.

 

We've talked about fostering/adopting a LOT. Wolf was adopted, several (all?) of his sibs (and him) were in foster care, one girl was adopted, the other girls aged out. Only one other brother was adopted to my knowledge.

 

Right now, we don't have the room needed. Plus, with the chronic pain condition, little use of my right hand/arm, and the meds I take to attempt to manage the pain, there's serious doubt about if we'd be approved or not.

 

We'll see where God leads us this year.

[SonshineLearner]

I've thought of it... we did all the training... here's the tough part... "You're inviting THE STATE into your house...." and I don't like them (the State) as guests....

 

Carrie

[Miss Peregrine]

Not just family preference, here...its what they will and won't do themselves. No 'twinning' and last I heard, very very difficult to adopt out of birth order, if not an outright refusal.

 

 

 

 

Must be regional. One of the adoption supervisors at our agency just adopted and created an "artificial twin" himself.

[Impish]

I guess. Weird how things vary.

[happyhomemaker25]

we signed up to be foster parents. Our state was transitioning to a different way of doing things and we got lost in the red tape. Two years after our training we got our license. A few years after that we adopted all five of our kids.

We have talked about when our youngest is five if we are living on the farm like we want to be signing back up. We have talked to some private agencies that would accept us as a larger family.

It's hard because you do let the state in. It's nerve racking being at the whim of the system. But there is such a huge need. It breaks my heart when I hear about kids sleeping overnight at the caseworkers office. Being shipped from home to home because there is just not enough room.

My oldest boy was taken at 6m old and lived in three foster homes before he came to us at 13m old.

I remember right after the holidays was always a busy time. Seems like the stress from holidays was always a catalyst for parents to act out.

[CathyCDK]

We're currently not on the receiving list. We have a sibling group of 3, and are waiting to see if we'll also have the baby sister. In AZ, we can't have more than 4 children age 5 and under, and we want to make sure we have a spot for the baby is she can't stay where she is now.

 

However, in September and October, when we were on the list, I got a call almost every day. We were able to take up to 4, ages 6 and under. We got so many calls for goups of 4, 5, and even 10 siblings. (we were being considered for 4 or 5 of these children.) A couple friends of mine who can take 1 or 2 at a time weren't getting many calls.

 

I think it goes in spurts, and here, it can be political. When something hits the news locally, it tends to sway whether kids are moved or kept in their homes. For example, after the news story about the parents who took bathtub pictures of their kids and WalMart turned them in......that was here in AZ.....there seemed to be a lull in calls.

 

Blessings,

Cathy

[Julie in Austin]

We were licensed 12/17 for 1-2 kids, aged 0-4, and haven't gotten a call yet . . .

[Ottakee]

We are on break now but we have had over 100 foster children. Some for just a very short time, and 3 we adopted.

 

Holidays and the first weeks in Jan. (when the kids go back to school) can be busy times for foster care.

 

We had the youngest foster child come at 48 hours old and our oldest child to come was a 17 year old girl with her 12 month old daughter (very short stay as she went home). Even though they told us in our training NOT to expect babies and toddlers, most of our kids were in the 0-3 year old range.

 

The is a VERY GOOD reason for keeping foster kids younger than your youngest--best by a few years. Many foster kids come in behind in school and very immature and it gets dicey when you have to put an older child to bed earlier, give them less freedom, etc. than you do a younger bio child. Also (and this is HUGE), many foster child have experiences that you don't want your younger children exposed to---language, fighting, s*xually acting out, etc. Yes, even toddlers can act out things they have seen and been subjected to on other kids.

 

for potential placements this month?

 

I'm overwhelmed. In the past couple weeks we've been called 5 times.

 

I've never had my licensing worker call us and plea for us to consider someone who's older than my oldest (10). We've been working with this person for a long time now and she knows, she was even the woman to recommend "only placements younger than your youngest." Either that or she's softening me up for the next call which she knows falls under the criteria and I won't be able to refuse again. :glare: But that's just the non-caffeinated, just-drug-5-kids-through-an-orthodontist-evaulation-appt., me speaking.

 

It breaks my heart. But I know I have to do what's best for our family.

 

If you've been kicking around the idea of fostering can I politely suggest taking the next step toward actively fostering? The need is huge.

[Cathy in IL]

I am still on hold, waiting to see if we are granted the wiver we need to bring my goddaughter home. It's been a month now.

 

Just got a call today about my dd's cousins who need a place to go. There are three of them. I would do it if I knew what was happening with this waiver.

 

I know the need is great, but I am so discouraged with the system right now.

[Deana FL]

Must be regional. One of the adoption supervisors at our agency just adopted and created an "artificial twin" himself.

 

what does that mean? "artificial twin" or "twinning" ..is that adopting a child the same age as your bio child? and when referring to "out of birth order" what does that mean?

 

I was just looking over adoption and thought sticking kids right in the middle of my kids' ages would be a good way. I have 12, 10 and 6.

[Miss Peregrine]

what does that mean? "artificial twin" or "twinning" ..is that adopting a child the same age as your bio child? and when referring to "out of birth order" what does that mean?

 

I was just looking over adoption and thought sticking kids right in the middle of my kids' ages would be a good way. I have 12, 10 and 6.

 

Yes, artificial twinning is adopting one the same age as a bio kid. Out of birth order means adopting one whose age is not the youngest of your children, in between their ages. Many people like to keep the birth order to maintain the family dynamics(though they will change in other ways)