JoyfulMama Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I love my MIL, but we do have very different tastes. This is not a MIL complaint thread, but a how would you tactfully handle this thread? Many years ago she wanted to make matching dresses for me and my dtr for Christmas. She ended up not because I was nursing my son, and told her that if she made me something, it would have to be something I could nurse in. At the same time I was HORRIFIED at wearing a dress that matched my toddler dtr. I never ever liked that idea. So now this year she's decided that she's making my girls dresses for Christmas. Mind you, they are 6 years apart. I don't usually choose the exact same style dress for them both. I have had them wear the same fabric, but different styles. She used to dress my dh and his younger brother of 5 years in identical outfits. He hated it. She still to this day does not understand why. Is there a kind, respectful way of saying "Thank you, but you don't ever have to make them identical outfits ever again as long as you shall live?" :001_unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kim in Appalachia Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 but I would not say anything and have the girls wear the dresses at least once. I would consider it a "Grandmother privilege" and tell the girls that wearing it shows honor to their grandmother. I can understand not liking it. I would not like it either.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I think you could say, "How lovely. I think having the same fabric would be a nice idea. Since they are such different ages, of course, they will need slightly different looks. Did you have some patterns in mind?" You might offer to then give some hints on which styles would fit each girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
specialmama Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Ya. Sorry, but this is one of those things that I would just accept with a smile and not cause friction over. Life is too short. Grandma isn't trying to harm anyone, she's trying to do something nice. Smile and be grateful your girls will have memories of their grandma. Of course, if you don't like it, that is okay... but you know, many girls like dressing alike. Perhaps your girls will love it, so long as they don't smell any negativity in the air. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieJ Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I sew for my grandkids and my daughters are very good about steering me in the direction of what they like. I love sewing for the kids and I don't want to stop, but I also don't want to waste time and money on something they won;t wear. I agree with the poster who said to go with mathcing fabric but try to direct the pattern choices. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I think you could say, "How lovely. I think having the same fabric would be a nice idea. Since they are such different ages, of course, they will need slightly different looks. Did you have some patterns in mind?" You might offer to then give some hints on which styles would fit each girl. This is a great suggestion. Of course as long as the oldest girl isn't being dressed in a toddler style dress than I might just have them wear them once, get a picture, and forget about it. It's a nice thought she had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MotherMayI Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 but I would not say anything and have the girls wear the dresses at least once. I would consider it a "Grandmother privilege" and tell the girls that wearing it shows honor to their grandmother. I can understand not liking it. I would not like it either.:tongue_smilie: :iagree: When my MIL was living I used to get frustrated by her gift choices, but in the grand scheme of things the joy she got from giving was more important than my mild displeasure at the choice. I doubt your dds will feel the same frustration that your dh felt since it isn't something they are forced to do regularly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My MIL made coordinating dresses for my girls out of the same fabric. They turned out nice. Another option might be to make the younger one a dress and the older one a skirt using the same fabric. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leila Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 You can suggest to pick patterns of cloth for the kids. And explain that the oldest one wants to be different. It's not saying you don't want her to make dresses for the kids but not matching. :001_smile: This happened to me when I was 12. I told my grandma I love her clothes but I didn't want to wear the same as my sister who was 8 at that time. And she understood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 They can always be retired to the dress up box... Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LinRTX Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 This is a great idea. I would make matching clothes for my girls. Actually they all three have only matched twice. One 4th of July I made matching vests for the older two and me and a dress for the baby out of the same material. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 You accept the dresses gracefully. Then you put the girls in them and pose them for a beautiful picture somewhere to give to the grandmother. If the girls faces are pretty and have beautiful smiles, you might even frame it for her. IF you can, have them wear them once to visit her or to go to church with her so she can show off her handiwork and she can talk to the girls about them. This would be a good time to allow them to exhibit that honesty that pains us at times because we know that feelings will be hurt... Then, allow the girls to wear them separately if they like the dress or not wear them. In short order they will be outgrown anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 Is she making them to wear on Christmas day, or simply as a Christmas gift? If it's simply a gift, I'd say thank you so much, and make sure she both sees them wearing them and that I take a pic of them. I might cringe a bit if it was to wear on Christmas day, but I'd probably go with it. And your kids might love them! Your oldest is only 9, so I think matching dresses are very workable. It's not like she's 16 and her sis is 7; they are both still in little girl clothes. If she's near by, and you have the time, maybe you could shop for material/patterns with her? And exclaim LOUDLY over the things you like? I gotta say, I'm impressed that she's making two dresses for NEXT WEEK!! Overall, I try to give grandma privileges with as much grace as I can muster. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cougarmom4 Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 My dd10 is begging me to make something that matches for her and dd2. Maybe your girls will like it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoyfulMama Posted December 18, 2009 Author Share Posted December 18, 2009 I gotta say, I'm impressed that she's making two dresses for NEXT WEEK!! Overall, I try to give grandma privileges with as much grace as I can muster. She measured the girls at Thanksgiving. She had patterns purchased, and fabric purchased when we were there, but didn't offer to show either to me. And I didn't push. I'm not sure if the girls are supposed to put them on when we get there for Christmas or not. She has our detergent there, so she may very well wash them and have them ready to wear - I don't know. I tend to think they would just be a gift for them to open. We both try to extend eachother a lot of grace. Which is why I've been thinking on this the last couple weeks. I don't want to hurt her feelings by saying something, yet I don't want her to work so hard at something that won't be completely loved. Maybe I should just go with the flow, and see how the girls react... they do like to wear similar things, but they have made a point not to be identical. Thanks ladies for all the thoughts! Sometimes I need a reminder to extend a bit more grace... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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