I need someone to help me find some intestinal fortitude with regard to my job

[melissel]

Some of you may remember that I've been desperate to quit for months now. We're juuuuust about to the goal we set before I can do it (6 months of expenses in the bank). We'd hit that by the end of March. However, DH has agreed that he'll support me in whatever I want to do, and what I want to do is give my two weeks' notice right now. (OK, actually, what I really want to do is have this phone meeting with my boss in 15 minutes and say, "I quit! My laptop's in the mail!" But I won't go that far :D) I'd get paid for my leftover vacation days and would be free by the end of the year.

 

I want to be strong and just suck it up for three more months. There are good reasons to: my dental work, DH's shoulder pain, the Christmas credit card bill, two more months in our emergency fund--none of which is an emergency, but still. How can I talk myself into just taking a deep breath and finishing this up? I so want to just throw up my hands and surrender.

 

(On a positive note, though, I'm so thankful that we've finally managed to work ourselves into this position at all, considering where we were on this issue a year ago, or even a few short months ago!)

 

TIA!

[Dana]

You could do a count-down calendar until end of March and watch each day vanish. That might make the waiting easier.

[Colleen in NS]

Some of you may remember that I've been desperate to quit for months now. We're juuuuust about to the goal we set before I can do it (6 months of expenses in the bank). We'd hit that by the end of March. However, DH has agreed that he'll support me in whatever I want to do, and what I want to do is give my two weeks' notice right now. (OK, actually, what I really want to do is have this phone meeting with my boss in 15 minutes and say, "I quit! My laptop's in the mail!" But I won't go that far :D) I'd get paid for my leftover vacation days and would be free by the end of the year.

 

I want to be strong and just suck it up for three more months. There are good reasons to: my dental work, DH's shoulder pain, the Christmas credit card bill, two more months in our emergency fund--none of which is an emergency, but still. How can I talk myself into just taking a deep breath and finishing this up? I so want to just throw up my hands and surrender.

 

(On a positive note, though, I'm so thankful that we've finally managed to work ourselves into this position at all, considering where we were on this issue a year ago, or even a few short months ago!)

 

TIA!

 

:lol: about the bolded part!

 

Hmm...I'm reading many things here that make me think you want us to talk you into quitting now. OK, go for it!! :D

 

Your dh is supporting whatever you want, you want to quit now, you'd get paid vacation days, you want to throw up your hands and surrender, and you have worked yourself into what you seem to think is a good position financially (or at least better than you had, I assume). That's five reasons to quit now. You only have 3, maybe 4 (the rest of the 6 month fund) reasons to keep working.

 

Sometimes, you do have to just take a plunge and then figure out how to deal with any messes afterwards. There will ALWAYS be a mess to clean up. I've read your past threads about this - you've been thinking about this for a very long time! And just think - your determination for something better is what has kept you going in your job - now your determination can be applied elsewhere - how to live within a smaller means, how to maybe make some small income at home after you get settled with your kids, etc.. How to pay for emergencies or not-so-emergencies with your built-up fund. It's wonderful to have those cushions (ours goes up and down, right now it's mostly down, LOL), but they do get used at various point and then you have to figure out how to replenish and work things out day by day, month by month, year by year. For me, it's my determination to keep educating my kids at home instead of at school that keeps me going (hmmm...I'm actually giving myself a little pep talk, too!) on the frugal life.

 

So I vote that you go for it. :D

[4kiddies]

There is never going to be a perfect time to quit...so just do it already! Why be miserable for the next three months?

[melissel]

Hmm...I'm reading many things here that make me think you want us to talk you into quitting now. OK, go for it!! :D

 

You're good! :lol: I'll admit there was a tiny voice in my head that was saying that if I asked you all, you'd probably say that. Seriously, though, I just feel so lame. I mean, it's three months! Three measly months. I feel like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, screaming, "BUT I DON'T WANT TOOOOOOOO!" I'd really like to find a way to get through them. Some days, that seems so easy. Other days...not so much. I guess I'm sort of hoping someone will have some magical words of advice that will make me think, "Oh yeah, that's a good idea. I can do this after all!"

 

You've all made good points, though. I'm just not used to taking the easy road to anywhere, and this feels like taking the easy road in spite of our financial goals. Ugh. This is such a hard decision. I've worked since I was fourteen, and I've worked full-time since I was 20!

[melissel]

There is never going to be a perfect time to quit...so just do it already! Why be miserable for the next three months?

 

You're right, you're right. I know you're right! (Guess the movie! :D)

 

But why do I feel like I'm being such a baby about it?!

[Renai]

You're good! :lol: I'll admit there was a tiny voice in my head that was saying that if I asked you all, you'd probably say that. Seriously, though, I just feel so lame. I mean, it's three months! Three measly months.

 

You may feel better if you persevere and see through to your goal. :001_smile: What is it that you do?

[melissel]

You could do a count-down calendar until end of March and watch each day vanish. That might make the waiting easier.

 

Dana, that's a really good idea. I do that for the kids when there's an event coming. I could print out my own calendar, all on one page, and mark off the days. Thank you!

Edited December 15, 2009 by melissel

[melissel]

You may feel better if you persevere and see through to your goal. :001_smile: What is it that you do?

 

I'm an editor (of nothing exciting), but really, these days, I seem to be just a glorified assembly line worker :(

[Renai]

You may feel better if you persevere and see through to your goal. :001_smile: What is it that you do?

 

Then again, I may not be the best to get advice from seeing how I couldn't stick out a (phone) job (from home) for a couple of months to see if I'd finally "get it." I lasted a week and a half on live phones before I quit. :D I knew from the second week of training I wasn't going to get it (I persevered so I'd get paid the training comp.). It was a terrible job.

[SonshineLearner]

Meet your goal! Then.... quit without burning bridges. You never know when you're gonna be in the "need to work" spot again...

 

Carrie:-)

[Renai]

Meet your goal! Then.... quit without burning bridges. You never know when you're gonna be in the "need to work" spot again...

 

Carrie:-)

 

:iagree:. Although many times, easier said than actually done.

[Colleen in NS]

I'd really like to find a way to get through them.

 

I've worked since I was fourteen, and I've worked full-time since I was 20!

 

Oh, OK! I should really, then, just go by the question in your thread title. :D

 

- plan some sort of reward celebration for the weekend or two after your last day - cook a yummy dinner and invite friends over? Take a field trip with your kids? It'll be springtime in your area, so it's a fresh start!

 

OK, that's all the ideas I have. Sorry! But it could (in a positive way) take up some mental space if you are operating in assembly line mode - planning bits and pieces could help you get through the next hour, the next afternoon, the next day.

 

And yeah, 3 months isn't so long now!

 

But why do I feel like I'm being such a baby about it?!

 

Uh, probably because you've worked a lot since age 14! :D You probably feel like you'd be ditching responsibility that you "shouldn't" ditch.

 

Hopefully you'll get some more ideas to charge you through your last three months, whoooohoooo!

[Garga]

Part of me agrees with you to just quit now.

 

But don't forget things like this:

 

1. I got married at 19. We wanted to get married fast, because we were young and didn't have a lot of sense. I had a teeny tiny wedding and wore a flowered summer dress...

 

equals...

 

I regret (a lot) not doing the whole wedding-thing. I didn't have a gown, bridesmaids, photographs...nuthin'.

 

2. We were married for 10 years before having kids. We went out to eat about 6 times a week. At places like Carrabbas. Which was about $50 a meal. We didn't save our money...

 

equals...

 

I dearly regret that we didn't save money for when I stayed at home with the kids. I wish we'd been wiser and put the money into long term savings.

 

3. I didn't go to college after high school. I had a job. But now that I've quit that job to stay home, it will be VERY hard to get a decent job once the kids are done being schooled (up to 13 years from now)....

 

equals...

 

I am scared that I'll be stuck working at WalMart when I'm 55.

 

Conclusion:

 

Stay the course. Delay the gratification. You'll meet all those financial and dental goals that you have.

 

If it were 3 years, or even 6 months, it would be a lot harder. But 3 months isn't that long and the benefits are worth it.

[KidsHappen]

Reward yourself for each additional week that you make it through. A real reward, something that you wouldn't give yourself otherwise. And whenever you are feeling resentful try to look forward to when you will finally be free and that you can do it with a clear concious. I do remember that when I quit making the decision was harder that actually quitting.

 

On the other hand, it's three months of your life that you will never get back and it during a particularly stressful hectic time of the year. It would be so easy to make the break during the holidays and just not go back at the beginning of the year.

 

Clearly I am no help. :tongue_smilie:

[melissel]

On the other hand, it's three months of your life that you will never get back and it during a particularly stressful hectic time of the year. It would be so easy to make the break during the holidays and just not go back at the beginning of the year.

 

:lol: Really, I think this is a huge part of it. We have family coming in 7 days, and our house is celebration central. But our house is so hideous right now, and what I really want to be focusing on is how to get it ready for guests! I also don't want to sacrifice another holiday season to this job. But even if I gave notice today, I'd still be working through the holiday, so that's no real help.

 

Big tantrums going on in my head...

[Aubrey]

Reward yourself for each additional week that you make it through. A real reward, something that you wouldn't give yourself otherwise. And whenever you are feeling resentful try to look forward to when you will finally be free and that you can do it with a clear concious. I do remember that when I quit making the decision was harder that actually quitting.

 

This is exactly what I was going to say. Teaching nearly killed me, the last semester was SOOO awful, but then the last 2 mos? Ugh. Dh finally had a job, & all I was doing was fulfilling my contract so I didn't have my license suspended (which I never wanted to use again anyway). And saving $.

 

Then my 2yo got "lost" by the daycare that was keeping her & 4yo. I reeeeally wanted to go ahead & quit. I was having nightmares that one of the bomb threats would be real & I"d have waited too long...:lol:

 

I did the countdown w/ rewards thing. (I never actually did the rewards, but I did sort-of intend to.) There's a set of dishes out there, that if I hadn't accidentally torn the ordering info off of, would *so* be sitting in my cabinets right now. That one pic & the idea that maybe I could google them got me through. :lol:

 

(Now I sorta wish I'd just quit, though, since I didn't really want to use the cert again. But we made really good friends w/ the girl who kept the kids in place of the daycare, & I've never forgotten the feeling of finally being home. It's a good pill to take on the rough days, kwim.)

[Aubrey]

:lol: Really, I think this is a huge part of it. We have family coming in 7 days, and our house is celebration central. But our house is so hideous right now, and what I really want to be focusing on is how to get it ready for guests! I also don't want to sacrifice another holiday season to this job. But even if I gave notice today, I'd still be working through the holiday, so that's no real help.

 

Big tantrums going on in my head...

 

Your first reward: have a housekeeper come in to help you get ready for the holidays. I bet there's someone out there who'd be so grateful for the extra $ right now, you'd have a little more peace, & it would just be good all around.

[jenL]

I'm terrible at quoting several posts, so I'm going to try to sum up my favorite points by everyone here.

 

First... KEEP GOING! I think you've done something amazing... don't stop now as you are SOOOO close... Three months is a blip in the whole life scheme of things. And the reward at the end will be so satisfying!!! We're just starting the debt snowball for my school loans here, and I cannot wait to get to the months of salary in the bank... you're almost there!

 

REWARD YOURSELF!!! Do something every week to praise yourself for "making it" through another week. You deserve it. It could be something so simple as a dish of ice cream somewhere. Then, when it's over, truly celebrate!!! Whatever that may be for you to say congratulations to yourself and your family.

 

GET a CLEANING LADY just this once to clean your house for you. It's okay to say you need help, and there are people out there who want to help you in this manner.

 

MAKE THE COUNTDOWN CALENDAR... this is such a great idea. Or, you can make one of those paper chains and remove a link every day. Hang it in a prominent place, so you can see the progression every day as it gets smaller and smaller (and your smile gets bigger and bigger!).

 

It's easy to give up, and I've been in a job I HATED, dreaded, thought I'd never survive, but I pushed myself through because there was a light at the end of the tunnel... you will make it!

 

And, I'm sorry for saying don't quit if you wanted me to tell you to quit :tongue_smilie:

[Brigitte]

Reward yourself for each additional week that you make it through. A real reward, something that you wouldn't give yourself otherwise. And whenever you are feeling resentful try to look forward to when you will finally be free and that you can do it with a clear concious. I do remember that when I quit making the decision was harder that actually quitting.

 

:tongue_smilie:

 

I know someone who rewards herself with Victoria Secret undies. She has a bag of them on her dresser (a place she can see them every day and not lose sight of the goal). Each step that she reaches toward her ultimate goal she gets a new pair of undies from the bag. Now VS undies might not be rewarding for you, but you get the drift here.

 

I like the cleaning lady idea, too.

[Chris in VA]

Sometimes, when I have a chore I'm loathe to do, I set a timer for 5 minutes. At the end of 5 minutes, I often keep going.

 

Maybe you can "set your timer" for the end of January. As it approaches, do a mental check and see if you can keep going just 8 weeks more.

 

Oh, and schedule your dental work NOW.

I can relate on that part--I have about 4 thousand worth of work to be done...:tongue_smilie:

 

(BTW, YEA!! I didn't know you and hubby had come to agreement on you quitting!)

[Dawn in OH]

Let's see.....

 

There's really no good time for quitting.

 

You seem to send hints that you want to quit now.

 

I'm not sure which direction you want us to support you, but my personal feeling for you is: Quit now and end the year happy!

 

If that wasn't the kind of support you were looking for, feel free to ignore me. My children often do.

[Rosy]

*Throw a real temper tantrum. Yell, scream, get it out of your system. Make it a really good one.

 

*Eat some chocolate.

 

*Then send out a "save the date" evite for your fabulous last-day-of-work party.

 

I bet you'll feel way better. :D

[Happy]

Suck it up, sweetie. :D

 

You CAN do this! It's just a few more weeks and any decision made just before Christmas is always made under duress. Get through January and if you feel the same way, I'll personally give you permission to leave early....but by then it's only eight weeks to the end of March.

 

Make a calendar, list some rewards, and go have some chocolate tonight.

 

Think what a great story this will make when your dc come to you with the 'I just can't stand it anymore' (school, work, anything.) You'll be able to tell them how hard it is and that they can do whatever...