Julie in CA Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I'm planning on visiting a friend in the hospital this evening. She is in her sixties, and is in critical condition from a post-surgical infection. They are saying that it is life-threatening at this point. She is heavily medicated for pain, and it is likely that she will not be responsive, but I'd still like to visit, say a prayer over her and hold her hand for a moment (if possible), and I'd like her family to know that I care. I hate to arrive anywhere empty-handed. What can I bring? She has several grown children whom I have met, and one that I see regularly at church on Sundays. Is there anything that they might appreciate? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Can she have flowers in the room? maybe snacks for the family to munch on? You are a good friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 How about one of those little potted Christmas trees, you could even get some small ornaments and decorate it for her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I think the snack box for the family is a lovely idea. Flowers sound lovely, too, but it's hard to know what kind of space is available for such in her room... have you any idea? If you are a singer, I think it would be lovely to sing a hymn or carol or two to her. She just may hear it very well, even if she cannot respond. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ritsumei Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Maybe just a card? The real gift is in the visit. I don't know that there's any obligation to do more than that, though having something in your hands can be an ice-breaker, and that's often very nice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 (edited) If she is in intensive care, they most likely will not allow any plants in the room. Possibly florist flowers, but nothing with dirt (at least this has been my experience from working at more than half a dozen different hospital's ICUs). Call ahead and see if visitors will be allowed. Many hospitals in my area are severely restricting visitors due to flu. Some ICU's have strict visiting hours. Some have strict limitations on number of visitors, etc. Probably a nice card or note would be best. Many rooms are limited in size and it is frustrating as a nurse to try to work around a lot of personal stuff when dealing with IV tubing, vent tubing, and all the other complicated stuff that goes along with caring for a critical patient. A card can easily be taped to the window or wall, and some rooms have tack boards for cards. If your kids also know your friend, they could draw her a picture. When your friend recovers, she can look at the cards and will be happy to know that you were there in her hour of need. If you feel comfortable, you could read a passage from a book to her. (or you could bring chocolates for the nurses....:D) ETA: those who suggested food for the families are very insightful. Many times families do not want to leave the hospital and a snack box, especially one with healthy alternatives like apples, nuts or dried fruit (if you know the family's preferences) would be nice. Edited December 11, 2009 by MeanestMomInMidwest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Hospitals are so noisy, and it's hard to rest there. If she starts to improve, she will be glad to have them. Be really careful about assuming that just because she is unconscious she can't hear. I know of some people who heard and remembered things said in the room when they were in comas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 I like the tiny tree idea, as well as snacks. Does the family live close to the hospital? I had a friend once in the hospital (stillbirth) and the situation was completely unexpected and they lived an hour from the hospital. I brought snacks, toothbrush and toothpaste, comb, and shaving supplies for the dh. He felt a hundred times better for being able to wash up the few days they were there, and the snacks were handy because hospital food and vending machines are $$$. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted December 11, 2009 Author Share Posted December 11, 2009 Would it be a foolish idea to bring a very small cd player with a cd of piano hymns or instrumental music I think she might enjoy? Also, I feed people. That's pretty much what I do. Always. I'm still not sure what snacks to bring, and how to package them so they'd be the least obtrusive, but still available, kwim? Also, I'd love to actually *make* them something to snack on, but I can't think of the right things, or anything more convenient than what could be bought at the store. Maybe some Chex mix, or some muddy buddies for those who may be craving chocolate under stress? Any more ideas? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeanestMomInMidwest Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Would it be a foolish idea to bring a very small cd player with a cd of piano hymns or instrumental music I think she might enjoy? Also, I feed people. That's pretty much what I do. Always. I'm still not sure what snacks to bring, and how to package them so they'd be the least obtrusive, but still available, kwim? Also, I'd love to actually *make* them something to snack on, but I can't think of the right things, or anything more convenient than what could be bought at the store. Maybe some Chex mix, or some muddy buddies for those who may be craving chocolate under stress? Any more ideas? I have worked at hospitals that do not allow personal electronics in a room until they have been inspected and "approved" by their maintenance/electronics department. They are afraid of a malfunctioning electronic device causing harm and the ensuing liability. *IF* it is allowed, I think it is a wonderful idea. Music can be very therapeutic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 How about good coffee and a sweet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 Oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, heck any cookies are easy to eat without a mess in the room and will often get eaten by loved ones who aren't remembering themselves. :grouphug:Prayers for your friend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NoPlaceLikeHome Posted December 11, 2009 Share Posted December 11, 2009 If she is in Intensive Care it is probably not a good idea too bring something. Flowers/plants are usually not allowed and electronics usually have to be approved of by the bio-med department. Also, the ICU I worked in did not have much room at all, meaning no drawers, no closets, etc. So whenever a patient was transferred to ICU, all of their belongings were sent home except for dentures, eyeglasses, hearing aides, canes and prosthetics:( You could ask the nurses there if there is anything that you could bring to comfort the patient since hospitals do vary. As for the family, maybe a gift card to the hospital cafeteria? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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