runamuk Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 My sister and I flew our mother in for the holiday and she spent the entire time acting as if she were in a hotel. She didn't lift a finger to do anything, expected me to wait on her, ignored the kids, argued with me and asked me repeatedly to look at a sore spot in the crack of her butt (I really, really wish I was kidding). We went to my uncle's (her brother) house for Thanksgiving and she argued with everyone about everything, complained about the meal, had nothing nice to say, insulted my aunt several times, and told my cousin's child that her grandfather didn't love her enough to notice whether or not she'd gotten a haircut. She also made several inappropriate (s*xual) remarks to my husband. While most of this is normal behavior for her (the rudeness and complaining), I'm beginning to wonder if there is something else going on. She was quite cruel in some of the things she said and did (she made all of the children cry at some point because of her "jokes") and she seemed to be having trouble remembering things that happened a few minutes to a day or so ago. So, we had a trainwreck and I'm really worried about my mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 We had a lovely Thanksgiving. No train wrecks, dh's smoked turkey was perfect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duckens Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Runamuk said: While most of this is normal behavior for her (the rudeness and complaining), I'm beginning to wonder if there is something else going on.Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or health professional. Runamuk, This could be the beginning stages of senility or Alzheimers. If I remember correctly from an article that I read: We all have impulses to say or do inappropriate things. Our cerebrum (the front part of our brain, the thinking part) has protections that stop these inappropriate impulses. When we age (or have brain injury), these protections degrade or disappear. Is your mother willing to talk with you about this? I know you will be careful how you approach this with her. ***potentially inappropriate suggestion to follow*** Is it possible to tip off her physician before her next appointment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
runamuk Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 Runamuk said:Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or health professional. Runamuk, This could be the beginning stages of senility or Alzheimers. If I remember correctly from an article that I read: We all have impulses to say or do inappropriate things. Our cerebrum (the front part of our brain, the thinking part) has protections that stop these inappropriate impulses. When we age (or have brain injury), these protections degrade or disappear. Is your mother willing to talk with you about this? I know you will be careful how you approach this with her. ***potentially inappropriate suggestion to follow*** Is it possible to tip off her physician before her next appointment? Thank you for your thoughts. They're very similar to the ones I've been having. Mom won't discuss this as she doesn't feel she's doing anything wrong, no matter how gently I approached her. She just gets angry and says that no one appreciates her sense of humor or her jokes. With her forgetfulness, she argues and insists that we're ganging up on her. I'll be talking to my sister tomorrow (she's at her ILs) as she sees more of our mother than I do. I talk to mom a couple of times a week, but her behavior this past week was a shock. I'm hoping my sister can give me some more information and we can decide what to do. I'm willing to do an end run around Mom and speak to her doctor, but I'm not living in the area with her and won't have to deal with the consequences (she will be angry and will lash out at anyone, including my sister's children). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 The dog ate the turkey. Enough said. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CalicoKat Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 1 exploding spaghetti squash, that is all. My Uncle complimented my mother on her dresssing -- I'd made it! He was surprised I knew how to cook. :D But I've been learning from the best, my mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicianmom Posted November 29, 2009 Share Posted November 29, 2009 My oldest child acted horribly, and yes of course it's because she's not around other kids enough in a group setting. :glare: My MIL kept randomly shouting "Mother's Day Out!" when the girls were fighting or having meltdowns. My bachelor BIL offered to buy my dh a vasectomy for Christmas. :angry: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coffeefreak Posted December 1, 2009 Share Posted December 1, 2009 My oldest child acted horribly, and yes of course it's because she's not around other kids enough in a group setting. :glare: My MIL kept randomly shouting "Mother's Day Out!" when the girls were fighting or having meltdowns. My bachelor BIL offered to buy my dh a vasectomy for Christmas. :angry: :lol: I know, not funny at the time, but it made me laugh out loud. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted December 2, 2009 Author Share Posted December 2, 2009 Christine, I'm so sorry about your mom. It must be heartbreaking, no matter what the cause. My mother-in-law is vicious to my sister-in-law (her other daughter-in-law) at holiday events. She would sit right in her DIL's house and say things like, "We always managed to keep our windows nice and clean." Perhaps no coincidence, but that DIL is now divorced from her son! And Twinsmom, just WOW about the turkey. My 75-year-old mother still insists on hosting Thanksgiving, but I bought the two turkeys (organic, free-range), cooked them, made the gravy, she provided the potatoes (two small containers from Costco that she promptly put in the freezer??) and other family members brought the rest of the meal. My mom never washes one single dish because she "is the hostess and must have done so much work" --- so why have it at her house at all? I live in Alaska, so cooking turkeys in California is not terribly convenient. She doesn't even own a carving knife, so we had to go out and borrow one on Thanksgiving. On a lighter note, my 80-year-old dad (her ex) did well all evening, and the kids are all old enough that they behaved well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 I forgot one. My mom was sitting on a dining room chair with a 19 mo. old grandchild on her lap when the chair broke. Fortunately no one was hurt, but it scared us all at first! It was an older chair that came from dh's parents' house. It was probably 25+ years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 Ohhh!! I'll share mine!!! We have well water and our pump stopped working at 8:00 in the morning! So I had no water in the house to make Thanksgiving Dinner!! :willy_nilly: We had to run to Wawa (sort of like 7-Eleven for those who don't have one in your area) and buy 6 gallons of bottled water to use for cooking and cleaning!! Good times. Good times. Good thing my husband sells pumps for a living! Of course, the place he buys them from isn't open on Thanksgiving Day, but we're heading out first thing in the morning to buy one. Some folks will be shopping for gifts on Black Friday...we'll be buying a well pump. The fun never ends!! :lol: Oh my gosh! I would have had a hissy fit. We are on well water as well and I have a very tense relationship with everything that has to do with a well and a pump. Every fall, we seem to forget to monitor the water level and because we live in an area where we are going into the third year of drought, the water levels are lowest in late fall and every d*** fall we run our pump dry and pay megabucks to the electric company. AAARRRGHHH. You seem so calm & collect, I will try to emulate your behavior next time something well related occurs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 2, 2009 Share Posted December 2, 2009 (edited) My doctor's desk said I couldn't get my anticonvulsant script refilled before I went out of town because it's a supercontrolled substance. I left town with just enough to get me home again. The person who was carpooling back upstate with me had a car issue and canceled entirely, after I had already made my way downstate. The hostess was weepy and depressed because that person was bringing half the party. There was too much food and the house was empty. I called my pharmacist and my doctor daily over their long holiday weekend to leave fruitless messages begging them to get my script sent to the hostess' neighborhood where I thought I was stuck because of the lack of ride. I ended up missing two days of my anticonvulsants. That, of course, resulted in a lovely seizure during which I punched myself in the eye. In the end I spent a ridiculous amount of money on emergency transportation so I could walk into the office in person and say give me my effing refill, I'm not a drug addict, I'm epileptic! But of course the refill had been called in ages ago, only no one had bothered to let me know. Edited December 2, 2009 by dragons in the flower bed run ons Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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