Daisy Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Holy Cow, this has been the most miserable day ever! Both of my children have whined, moaned, groaned, huffed, puffed, and generally complained all day long, but specifically about school work. I'm at my wits end. It appears to be triggered by anything that requires thought. I've tried....pep talks, encouragement, threats, demands for immediate cease and desist, additional work, etc. Eventually they resign themselves to their fate. It doesn't happen every day. Most days it doesn't happen at all. Mondays seem popular. Any day after a holiday, definitely. In general my children are well behaved but they definitely have a whiny new habit going on. I would really like to see them demonstrating some self-control over their emotions. Yes, you can feel cranky about doing school work on a Monday but that doesn't mean you should slam your books around and spend 10 minutes moaning over every math problem. Constructive ideas that don't include spanking (we feel our pubescent 10yo is entirely too old for that & it has never worked with her anyway) would be greatly appreciated. Oh, and both of my children are strong-willed bright little control freaks like their mother. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted November 9, 2009 Share Posted November 9, 2009 Seriously, get a copy of Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining and Bad Attitudes in You and Your Kids. Good read. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 I'm at the point that I would buy that book and have it shipped priority to my home. LOL. I just put it on the "Buy this ASAP" wish-list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I'm at the point that I would buy that book and have it shipped priority to my home. LOL. I just put it on the "Buy this ASAP" wish-list. :grouphug: Right there with you last week (PMS, dh travelling, tired, alone, etc...) with the girls pushing every button on me. The book is not a fix-all, but it sure is insightful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Yeh, I wish there were easy fixes for parenting. Nothing harder in this world than raising mini versions of yourself. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Yeh, I wish there were easy fixes for parenting. Nothing harder in this world than raising mini versions of yourself. :lol: Ewww, that hit a LEETLE too close to home :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 We give an allowance that is tied to attitude. Every instance of whining or complaining results in a dock in allowance. It's worked. I haven't had to dock allowance in over a year! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Did you have my day? My dd has been great about her math for weeks, but today she didn't want to. She wasn't motivated. She didn't feel that it was important to be motivated. Now picture me, sleepy, with my cup of coffee and kind of grumpy myself looking at a miniature picture of myself minus the coffee and with a much more reasoned argument. My keys to getting the work done sans whining is to first stop whining myself. It kills me. Next - The kids have had a really busy weekend and were probably tired, just like me from working on the weekend and my hubby from taking them around on the weekend. And So now, I'm rambling. I get through my mondays with bribery and changing the "fun" subjects to mondays. We do art on Mondays instead of at the end of the week. It is easier for me. We get through math, "Please focus on finishing this assingment or we will do another." We get through writing and grammar, "Please sit still or stand up to do the rest of your work." I read history - okay no problems here. Then I turn them loose on the world. After lunch, they settle in for art, then help me with some cooking and baking. Take a deep breathe - at least tomorrow isn't it Monday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 And So now, I'm rambling. I get through my mondays with bribery and changing the "fun" subjects to mondays. We do art on Mondays instead of at the end of the week. It is easier for me. We get through math, "Please focus on finishing this assingment or we will do another." We get through writing and grammar, "Please sit still or stand up to do the rest of your work." I read history - okay no problems here. Then I turn them loose on the world. After lunch, they settle in for art, then help me with some cooking and baking. Take a deep breathe - at least tomorrow isn't it Monday. EXACTLY! :iagree: I think I'm going to change around our week. We are just too wasted on Mondays. I hate having a slow Monday. My personality is to hit the week running and get as much done as I can so I can breeze through the rest of my week. This is not working. And I am buying that book because we do have some character issues going on as well I believe. Sigh, anyway everyone is in bed now and I can finally just relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rwjx2khsmj Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 My ears are unable to interpret anything said in whine-ese. It's been that way since my children were tiny. Since I can't understand the language they are speaking, I can't respond to them. When they are able to speak in a common language I'll be happy to hear them and try my best to meet their needs. When that doesn't work I ask them to go find some cheese... That usually brings them up short and breaks the downward spiral. On a really bad day, I just yell and give myself a time out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Ds, 6, and I searched the internet this morning for a short copywork quote on the importance of cheerfulness. It was that kind of morning, and I was hoping that someone else said it more....pleasantly....cheerfully....than I. (I'm pretty sure Ralph Waldo Emerson didn't write, "If you don't stop whining my head will explode.") My keys to getting the work done sans whining is to first stop whining myself. It kills me. Someone in my house whined and fussed all morning.....................about how the whining and fussing were making her tired and crabby and she didn't want to hear it any more. OOPS. :leaving: Then I gave everyone a chocolate. And we started over. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I must be a really mean mom, but my motto is you can work with your mind or work with your hands. If you whine and complain they you work with your hands...I have a nice list always available, and it's not fun. When you've worked through your whiney issues then we work with our minds. Last week we had this issue...lets just say our floors and bathrooms sparkled and school went later in the evening due to a bad attitude when starting the day.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 On some parenting issues I am old school - this is one of them. I don't whine to my kids and I don't tolerate it in my home. I let the kids know that it's disrespectful speech and it's not appropriate. I have the kids repeat whatever they are saying in an appropriate tone - every single time it happens. If it happens more than once in a morning/afternoon/etc. I tell them they must be very tired to be whining - so the afternoon is for naps and bedtimes are moved up earlier to help them get more rest. And then I follow through. It's pretty straightforward and we rarely have it happen more than once (my kids HATE naps, LOL!!). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Conley Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Really act out. Speak in that tortured tone of voice brats use to torment their mothers into giving in, and be totally irrational. Don't stop until they beg you to stop. Resume whining every single time anyone whines in your vicinity. Example: Son: "Do I have to bathe now-ow?! Sponge Lob Dumb Pants is on... Puleezzz..." Mother: "Ohhhh woe - oh is mee-ee, for my ungrateful progeny will-ill not bathe! Oh the humiliation, the public sha-ame of dragging unwashed heathens to church each Wednesday and Su-undayyy! I cannot bear up under the disgusted probation of my peers. Ohhh-oh the trauma. I must seek therapy! Oh woe, oh whine, oh snivel..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 My ds gets time outs for acting up in school. For some reason they really work for him, I think it helps him diffuse his emotions and chill. He's kind of moving out of the whining to be whining phase and into the give-me-a -reason-why-I-have-to phase. :glare: I have him write sentences more often now. I have a cheap spiral notebook that I will pull out and write a sentence for him to copy. The number of times is dictated by his behavior. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted November 10, 2009 Author Share Posted November 10, 2009 Someone in my house whined and fussed all morning.....................about how the whining and fussing were making her tired and crabby and she didn't want to hear it any more. OOPS. Then I gave everyone a chocolate. And we started over. Thinking I should have done this yesterday. Passed around a chocolate and started over. My ds gets time outs for acting up in school. For some reason they really work for him, I think it helps him diffuse his emotions and chill. He's kind of moving out of the whining to be whining phase and into the give-me-a -reason-why-I-have-to phase. This is usually the only thing that works. Being sent to time-out until they are willing to work especially since they know they are still going to have to do all their work. My daughter has lasted an HOUR in the corner before finally deciding to do her work. I must be a really mean mom, but my motto is you can work with your mind or work with your hands. If you whine and complain they you work with your hands...I have a nice list always available, and it's not fun. I've tried this and I do this for boredom. The problem is that my children really do enjoy working with their hands and would rather do this than school work most days. (eyes rolling). Thanks everyone. You've given me some great tips, encouragement, and a renewed perspective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed2fosteradopt Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 I must be a really mean mom, but my motto is you can work with your mind or work with your hands. If you whine and complain they you work with your hands...I have a nice list always available, and it's not fun. When you've worked through your whiney issues then we work with our minds. Last week we had this issue...lets just say our floors and bathrooms sparkled and school went later in the evening due to a bad attitude when starting the day.;) What a great idea!! I love this one. Not mean, just very smart. You are accomplishing two things at once. I call it multi-tasking! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neveryoumindthere Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 Ewww, that hit a LEETLE too close to home :) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted November 10, 2009 Share Posted November 10, 2009 There is an answer. It is simple, easy, inexpensive and effective. duct tape Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 We've started giving push ups, & incl in whining is repeating back to me what I just said to do in a voice that is mystified & awe-stricken. For years, I've been making them restate their request/information in a DEEP voice, which takes care of the whining & makes them laugh, but somehow, the older they get, well, the whining has changed. They're not whining *for* milk, etc.; now they don't want to do something. 5 push ups is fast & painless. Sometimes they get more, but for whining, this seems like enough, & it curbs (my) yelling a lot w/out having to wrack my brain for a punishment, threaten something I'm really not going to do anyway, or take an hr away from school. It also doesn't leave them more frustrated. And I think getting the blood to their brains helps, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpupg Posted November 11, 2009 Share Posted November 11, 2009 "I'm sorry dear, you're whining, and I just can't understand a word you're saying." Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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