JeneralMom Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 We allowed our eldest to try Kinder at a local science charter school. He has made friends and enjoys the time there, but we are not impressed with the academics, and are dealing with some behavioural issues when he comes home. We are currently deciding whether to pull him out at X-Mas or not. However, during this whole process we have come to the conclusion that DS#2 will not (absolutely not) do well in a classroom setting or with standardized education, so he will 100% be staying home. DS#1, however, doesn't want to homeschool because his school friends will miss him. So, my question is: if we allow DS#1 to stay in PS, how does it work with one at school and one (or more depending on what we do with the girls)at home? What happens if the one at home outpaces the one at school? Does it cause sibling conflict? Does anyone manage this effectively? Personally, I would love to pull DS#1 but feel bad because his Kinder teacher is one of those truly wonderful teachers who loves her students and wants to do the best for him, and I am afraid that maybe I am just a control freak. Jennifer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 How old are your children? Is sounds as if they are quite young - K and younger? While it's nice that your Kindergartener likes his friends and has a good teacher, these probably shouldn't be the deciding factor whether you decide to home school him or not. Friendships in kindergarten are transient, they come and go. If you choose to homeschool him, he'll make new friends. If Kindergarten is working for him this year, why not let him finish off the school year, at least. You don't necessarily need to pull him at Christmas time, do you? I have two boys less than two years apart in age (currently 11 and 12); It would have been difficult to homeschool one and send the other to ps, although not impossible. One wonderful benefit to homeschooling both has been watching their relationship develop as brothers and friends. I firmly believe they are close today because they time they spend together homeschooling. I would suggest letting your k'er finish off his year at his current school. Gently prepare him for the idea of homeschooling for next year. Get all your ducks in a row for next year and jump in in the fall with both dc. Enjoy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted October 16, 2009 Author Share Posted October 16, 2009 Sorry, I forgot that I hadn't made a signature with ages, etc. So, my boys are S-6 (07/2003), X-4 (12/04), and the girls are C-2 (11/06) and L-8mos (2/09). We had planned on homeschooling, belong to several homeschool groups (in San Antonio) and most of their friends are homeschooled. However, my husband wanted to let S make his own decision about school, and when we went for the tour he decided to give it a try. One of the things that I have noticed is a definite change in the boys' relationship - they have always been close, but a distance seems to be forming between them now, whereas X is becoming closer to C because he now has only her to play with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 How old are your children? Is sounds as if they are quite young - K and younger? While it's nice that your Kindergartener likes his friends and has a good teacher, these probably shouldn't be the deciding factor whether you decide to home school him or not. Friendships in kindergarten are transient, they come and go. If you choose to homeschool him, he'll make new friends. If Kindergarten is working for him this year, why not let him finish off the school year, at least. You don't necessarily need to pull him at Christmas time, do you? I have two boys less than two years apart in age (currently 11 and 12); It would have been difficult to homeschool one and send the other to ps, although not impossible. One wonderful benefit to homeschooling both has been watching their relationship develop as brothers and friends. I firmly believe they are close today because they time they spend together homeschooling. I would suggest letting your k'er finish off his year at his current school. Gently prepare him for the idea of homeschooling for next year. Get all your ducks in a row for next year and jump in in the fall with both dc. Enjoy. :iagree: There is no way I would let a 5yo decide how he was going to be educated. It sounds like he would have plenty of opportunities to make friends with the homeschool groups you belong to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 You're bound to the school schedule AND have the responsibility to both school and home. DD went to K. I pulled her out for 1st grade, but committed to her that we would continue to play with her K friends. We met them after school at a park once a week for 2 years. She was very clear that recess was only 20 minutes or so long, and that playdates and park days were much more satisfying, and that she would have more time for those if she didn't have to stand in line to go to the bathroom and such. She did miss her friends, but she also felt that homeschooling was better. She knew that I would not have done the park day thing if she had homework from school to worry about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Personally, I would love to pull DS#1 but feel bad because his Kinder teacher is one of those truly wonderful teachers who loves her students and wants to do the best for him, and I am afraid that maybe I am just a control freak. I know how you feel - I pulled Sylvia from preschool and hated every second of it because I loved the place, thought the director was amazing, wanted to support their work. BUT, you know this - you have to do what is best for your kids in the long run. He's not going to have that teacher for his whole school career. And academics + behavioral issues > concerns over missing friends. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SheWillFly Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 I do take into consideration my children's opinion when deciding on a schooling option. Unfortunately this year I couldn't act on their input. Last year I had one at home and one at school and one not doing school yet. If they had their way they would have continued on that course. Academically we afterschool to build up strengths where I feel the school isn't strong enough or my child isn't challenged enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 Sorry, I forgot that I hadn't made a signature with ages, etc. So, my boys are S-6 (07/2003), X-4 (12/04), and the girls are C-2 (11/06) and L-8mos (2/09). We had planned on homeschooling, belong to several homeschool groups (in San Antonio) and most of their friends are homeschooled. However, my husband wanted to let S make his own decision about school, and when we went for the tour he decided to give it a try. One of the things that I have noticed is a definite change in the boys' relationship - they have always been close, but a distance seems to be forming between them now, whereas X is becoming closer to C because he now has only her to play with. Both you and your dh need to think and talk about why you want to homeschool (or not) one, some, or none of your kiddos. You sound unsure of your reasoning. It sounds like you want to hs your oldest, but your dh and son may have another opinion. Clarify for yourself and them why you want to do it. It is perfectly fine to send one to ps and homeschool the other; do what fits your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel in FL Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 We allowed my youngest son to go to public school full time last fall, the 2008-09 school year. He was 15 and a 10th grader though. Our middle son is in his senior year at home. I wouldn't allow a young child to make that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skimerinkydo Posted October 16, 2009 Share Posted October 16, 2009 This year and last I have done two at home, two at school. The two years before that I did one at home, three at school. We just follow the ps time schedule for days off, etc. Our reason: we choose what is best for that child for that year. I have one child who simply did not do well in the ps classroom so we pulled him out after 2nd grade. I have other children that really thrive in public school. I would not worry too much about the academics in Kindergarten nor would I be anxious to pull a child out of Kindergarten unless I felt it would be damaging to his spirit. I would be more concerned though about behavior that is brought home. Is it a learning experience for him that you can work through? At kindergarten age school can provide first experiences working with a group, taking turns, cooperating, learning to listen to someone other than self...it could be considered part of the kindergarten curriculum. Some of these skills are easier for some children than others. Have you approached the teacher and discussed your concerns about his behavior? What behavior does the teacher see during class and on the playground? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beach Mom Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Personally, I would love to pull DS#1 but feel bad because his Kinder teacher is one of those truly wonderful teachers who loves her students and wants to do the best for him I had this concern when we decided to pull 2 of ours out of school (one never started). My DS had the most wonderful teacher, and they were in a wonderful classical school. A wise friend, when I shared my concerns said "she may love children, love your son and be a wonderful teacher, but she will never love him as much or be as concerned for his wellfare as you and your DH are." That wise counsel sealed the decision for us and we pulled this DS home too. We have never looked back. I agree with others that say you need to figure out what your reasons for homeschooling are and let that guide your decisions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeneralMom Posted October 17, 2009 Author Share Posted October 17, 2009 Have you approached the teacher and discussed your concerns about his behavior? What behavior does the teacher see during class and on the playground? Actually, she comments all the time about how wonderful he is, what a joy to have in class, how he listens and follows directions. She actually moved him so he is sitting between the two "bullies" to help improve their behavioiur. But, he is so tired of being good that when he gets home he is a terror - belligerent, overbearing to his siblings, and refuses to do the afterschooling that he asked to do (history, geography, art history, composer study), none of which is his normal behaviour. Our reasons for homeschooling are pretty basic - we don't think the school system here is very good, and I want the best for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjbeach Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 (edited) As a homeschooler we're always going to scrutinize academics. It's in our blood now. My 2nd child is VERY social and had no desire to homeschool. None. So we did put her in PS for K totally for "socialization" (eyeroll) because she was so far ahead academically. All in all it was a "meh" experience. Not horrible, not wonderful. But after last year she was TOTALLY open to trying homeschool and it has been a wonderful experience all around. The hardest thing for me with having one in school and one HS'ing was that I could not involve my HS child in co-ops, HS social groups or HS outings because I was always running back and forth trying to drop my PS child off or picking her up (and can't forget those early release days). Everything seemed to conflict time-wise. There was also the issue of not being able to volunteer in my PS child's class because I was homeschooling my other child. I did volunteer when I could have hubby "sub" for me but not nearly as often as I would have liked. For me, volunteering in her class was very important and made me feel like I had a pulse on what was going on with her in class and on the school. So it was all about the logistics for me. And my social butterfly formerly-PS'd dd is happy at home... BUT we have her in a *lot* of activities. We feel that her sociability is her gift and we're giving her plenty of opportunities to exercise that gift now, probably moreso than when she was in school. :001_smile: ETA-----YES! we totally went through the behavior thing too. I did go and speak with her teacher. We had to have seats reassigned. My dd was overly concerned with the other children's behaviors. I felt like she was testing the waters when she got home to see how WE would react to her replicating behavior she witnessed in classmates. The teacher went to another grade and picked up some workbooks for dd to use during class and I believe keeping her challenged kept her from being overly concerned with behaviors going on around her. Edited October 17, 2009 by cjbeach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trisharog Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I bring one child home a year . The other 2 are in a private Christian classical school that we love. You have to figure out what is best for your family but this is great for ours. Trisha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jann in TX Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 My youngest dd is in 2nd grade at the local PS--and has never been homeschooled. Her older sisters attended public school, private school and homeschool. My oldest dd was homeschooled from 3rd-12th grade--middle dd homeschooled from 1st-5th (PS for K, and 6-9th). There have been many years when we had one child in PS and at least one other at home. We do what is best for the individual child. My DH and I make the decision--but we have listened to our children too. It is a bit of a pain having to deal with one child on a rigid schedule while the others get to sleep in--but it works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 My dd's behavior at home and toward her brother improved greatly when we brought her home after 1st grade. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meet me in paris Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 We did it for half a year, and I found it to be a logistical nightmare. The year we pulled our oldest out of school, younger was in K. We let her stay in because she wasn't having the academic issues J was. Our PS was very open to homeschoolers, so we let her stay in half-time to do art, music, foreign language, etc with her friends. It was okay... but it really affected the day of the rest of the family. It's one thing when you're sending a high schooler to school - I get that - they're getting a lot out academically and typically your other children are old enough that they can stay home while you take one to/pick up from school. With little ones, you have to take the whole show on the road just to drop someone off at kindergarten. I was aggrevated with having to pack *one* lunch (LOL), keep up with all the school schedules/meetings/blah blah blah just to send a then 4yo to kindergarten. :confused: I found it to be not worth my time and energy. She was home 100% by Christmas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Three Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 I bring one child home a year . The other 2 are in a private Christian classical school that we love. You have to figure out what is best for your family but this is great for ours. Trisha I love this idea! We have one in ps, one homeschooling, and another in co-op preschool. We are making it work for now, but I am constantly reevaluating to figure out how it'll work in a few years. You've given me something else to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmykids Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 What will work for one child, might not work for the other. I have 4 children. The 3 older went to Private school but then the two older ones eventually graduated from that. So now I have 1 in High School, 1 in Middle school and 1 still in the Private school and I home school my youngest, who's 8. Yeap, 3 kids in 3 different schools. Thank goodness for buses!! LOL I would have never dreamed of Homeschooling my older two. They are very social and really need to be out there. Plus, they are very smart (way smarter than me) so I could never give them what they need. My 3rd child is still in Private, I could HS him but I haven't yet. He struggles alot so he would be easier. I love Hsing my little one, and I've done it right from the start. She is now starting to ask to go to the Private school so it may happen next year. It has really worked fine to only Hs one child. It's just the way it's been and it's our routine. She gets the same days off that my other kids do. I wouldn't worry about it, do what is right for your child or children. I can totally relate to the probelms a child will have when they get home from school. There is always going to be a child in school that is really naughty, even in Private School. You just have to teach your little one how to deal with it and just keep talking to them. My kids turned out just fine and trust me, I think alot of parents send the naughty kids to Private school in hopes that it will fix them. So, we've had our fair share of troubled children to deal with. We always get thru it! Good luck! Kristin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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