Anyone else have a son (preteen/early teen) who likes to be fashionable?

[Wendi]

My ds, who will be 13 this month, has been interested in dressing "fashionably" for the past several months. I just bought him some skinny jeans, and he likes to wear hats (he has a newsboy style, and a trilby style). His typical outfit is skinny jeans (or plaid shorts from Old Navy), a t-shirt (with a funny saying, or a skate theme - no skulls, or a NOTW shirt), black Converse high-tops, and his trilby hat.

 

Dh and I are not out of the mainstream, either; if I could afford it, most of my clothes would be from Eddie Bauer or Kohl's. So basics with staying power, with a few more "trendy" pieces mixed in.

 

My dh isn't always comfortable with ds's fashion choices. He'd like ds to blend in more. (This is partly because ds has emotional/behavioral issues, is outgoing and dramatic; I think dh would love it if ds wasn't always so different or unique.)

 

I figure, if it's mainstream (i.e., this is stuff you can find in Target or similar stores -- he's not the only kid in the valley dressing like this), not immodest or containing inappropriate messages, then it's okay. I guess I want him to be able to "be himself" if it's not counter to our values. I'm also trying to teach him to accessorize responsibly. :001_smile:

 

Does anyone else have experience with balancing more conservatively-dressed parents with a dc who wants to be more creative?

 

Wendi

[lynn]

My 14 year old is quite picky on what he wears. It has to fit just right. I don't allow the skulls or anything baggy and/or hanging off the bottom. He tried to get jeans, I kid you not, that were so long he the bottom pulled under his shoe and told me that's how kids wear them???? We had to come up with a compromise for that one.

Edited October 10, 2009 by lynn

[Mom2GirlsTX]

I have a 12 year old daughter and she loves to dress like this. She could easily wear the outfits you mentioned but with a more girly twist versus a boy look. It would be hard to find anyone more conservative than my husband and he just kind of rolls his eyes at some of her very bright, checkered straight leg pants. Now she does not dress badly, nothing rude, nothing trampy, nothing skimpy or immodest, but just sort of likes 1960's look, not hippy 60's, but early Beatles look, straight leg pants,etc. By the way her best friends are boys, are they dress like your son, and they are straight A students in public school who are quite nice gentleman. My guess is maybe it is the age/fad, etc, because the skinny jeans, hats and Converse sneakers are big here. Chucks (converse nickname) are huge here.

 

I think it is nice he likes to express himself but in a non threatening way (as in no gangsta like clothing, etc)...

 

 

I'm not much help, but I can say he dresses like several young boys I know who are close to his age and they are nice kids with consertative parents too!

[elegantlion]

I wish! My ds is comfortable, not fashionable. I think trendy creative dressing can be a great way to show a teens personality, as long as it stays within your guidelines.

[kalanamak]

 

Does anyone else have experience with balancing more conservatively-dressed parents with a dc who wants to be more creative?

 

Wendi

 

Most I know at work end up being happy it isn't huge honkin' hole piercings.

[Happy]

My youngest is 19 and has dressed creatively for the last several years. I have always insisted on the no skulls, no negative or cr*ppy sayings, etc. Snarky or amusing is okay. He knows which shirts to avoid. We also insist that no one see your underwear and that your clothes be clean. ;)

 

This son loves color. (He has been known to spray paint his shoes--orange and green.) In fact when his youth minister spoke about him at graduation last spirng he said, it's a good thing N is so laid back and quiet because his clothes are so loud. :D

 

N goes for the skater look...and we know almost no one else who dresses like that. It's just his preference. I figure he will outgrow it someday. Right now, as a freshman in college, he looks the part of a fun, interesting fella.

 

ETA: We are conservative dressers. Dh more so than me. One of the reasons I felt strongly about letting this son express himself is remembering how much I wanted to dress creatively when I was his age.

Edited October 11, 2009 by Happy

[lgm]

My ds, who will be 13 this month, has been interested in dressing "fashionably" for the past several months. I just bought him some skinny jeans, and he likes to wear hats (he has a newsboy style, and a trilby style). His typical outfit is skinny jeans (or plaid shorts from Old Navy), a t-shirt (with a funny saying, or a skate theme - no skulls, or a NOTW shirt), black Converse high-tops, and his trilby hat.

 

Dh and I are not out of the mainstream, either; if I could afford it, most of my clothes would be from Eddie Bauer or Kohl's. So basics with staying power, with a few more "trendy" pieces mixed in.

 

My dh isn't always comfortable with ds's fashion choices. He'd like ds to blend in more. (This is partly because ds has emotional/behavioral issues, is outgoing and dramatic; I think dh would love it if ds wasn't always so different or unique.)

 

I figure, if it's mainstream (i.e., this is stuff you can find in Target or similar stores -- he's not the only kid in the valley dressing like this), not immodest or containing inappropriate messages, then it's okay. I guess I want him to be able to "be himself" if it's not counter to our values. I'm also trying to teach him to accessorize responsibly. :001_smile:

 

Does anyone else have experience with balancing more conservatively-dressed parents with a dc who wants to be more creative?

 

Wendi

 

Yes! Just coming out of that age/stage here. One thing ds mentioned is that the look has color and energy, while all around him everyone else is drab. Most kids dress in gym clothes, hoodlum, emo, punk, or ragbag style in this area so he figured colorful was a lot better. We ok'd colorful shoes instead of hats (couldn't stand the punk look of hats) and helped him with understanding coordinates. As 14 came, the skinny jeans got old and the boys grew and were able to find straight-legged jeans that fit in the waist and length. We were very happy to go skater(minus black and skulls) rather than the other choices at the time. This year's style is basically Aeropostale..

[Erica in PA]

My 13 yos has a somewhat similiar style.. skinny jeans, with a vintage looking or funny tshirt. He also has a striped lightweight hoodie that he loves. I thought it was really cute when he started taking an interest in how he looked, this past spring, for the first time. He's not overly fussy, but I think it's good that he is developing a style of his own. There are things that I would have bought for him last year that just wouldn't suit him anymore. One factor is probably that we joined a new co-op last year, and the kids are a lot more fashionable and style conscious than the groups of kids he's been around in the past have been. As long as he's not on fixated on having to have expensive brands, and doesn't seem overly concerned with looking like everyone else, I'm glad that he's taking more of an interest in how he looks. Plus he showers voluntarily every single night now, which I LOVE!!! :001_smile:

[Imprimis]

My ds, who will be 13 this month, has been interested in dressing "fashionably" for the past several months. I just bought him some skinny jeans, and he likes to wear hats (he has a newsboy style, and a trilby style). His typical outfit is skinny jeans (or plaid shorts from Old Navy), a t-shirt (with a funny saying, or a skate theme - no skulls, or a NOTW shirt), black Converse high-tops, and his trilby hat.

 

 

 

 

 

Wendi

Sounds very much like my ds, right down to the black high-top Converse sneakers and skinny jeans. Ds has a couple of fedora style hats he likes to wear also.

 

That said, he will also wear polo or button-down shirts with dress pants if I lay that out for him.

 

I have always welcomed my childrens' input when it comes to buying clothes for them. As long as their choices are reasonably priced, and not offensive, it's ok with me.

[Scarlett]

My 9 1/2 year old. Oh boy He already gives me fits. I try to pick my battles but wow, I do agree it can be an issue.

 

Now with stbx not living here, ds seems to get away with more in the dress department than before. His dad bought him a skull cap with well, skulls on it. The skull cap is kind of cute, but why skulls? I think they are yucky.

[Karen in CO]

I remember my Grandpa always wore hats, maybe they are coming back in style. I think that would be kind of cool.

 

My ds started wanting to wear hats a couple of years ago. Now everytime he is home from school he begs for another one, and usually comes home with one from Tokyo too. He won't wear denim jeans or khaki pants anymore because that's what American tourists wear. Mine boy actually started wearing slacks and button up shirts to class because that whats the Japanese kids wear :D. But he also has some some plaid skinny pants that he wears that drive me batty. Anyway, the black converse and the skinny jeans and the hats sounds just about normal teen fashion in the Tokyo if that helps - they'd be mainstream there. He has read converse with skull on them and some brand of bright green shoes in a paisley print.

 

Kids this age are trying on different things to see where they fit in. To the OP, I am sure your ds is even more aware of where he fits with others than your husband is. For me, it just isn't a hill worth fighting over. I'm still happy when he wears clean clothes - he's been doing his own laundry since he could reach the washer nobs. I'll fight over laundry, but not fashion.

[LunaLee]

Hats...my ds wears a fedora. Last week he had me buy him a sweater vest. He's very cute and has his own sense of style. As long as it's not gangster or skulls I pretty much let him wear what he wants. I've always thought clothes were an extention of yourself and I'm glad my son expresses himself in a way like nobody else.

 

E.T.A.: The no skulls thing is his dad's thing, not mine. I think they're cool and have no problem letting him wear them.

Edited October 11, 2009 by LunaLee

[msjones]

My 10 year-old son asked for the skinny jeans this year, wants to grow his hair out, wears the 'cool' hats (I like the hats), and wanted a certain kind of 'hoody' (zip-up sweatshirt with a hood).

 

He wanted a mohawk haircut. He wanted to pierce his ear. He wanted, and still wants to dye his hair blue or green or purple. Ee-gads.

 

No mohawk, no earring, no blue hair. Not when he's 10. (He started asking for these things when he was 9...) We've told him to save up some of his rebellion for when he's older. ;)

 

He's a good, cooperative, respectful kid. The problems we have with him are mostly about timely chore-completion. So, the desire to look so rebellious at such a young age seem strange to me.

 

For the time being, we got him the skinny jeans, the ugly shoes, the 'right' shirts (they look nice -- collars and everything!), bought him a few neat hats, and are letting the hair grow. (And I've got my fingers crossed for the future!)

[SilverMoon]

That sounds fairly similar to my tween ds's style, but I don't have a problem with skulls. ~shrug~ We insist he stay within our parameters and let him wear what he chooses for the most part. He can be dressed in skulls from head to toe, so long as he is tidy and clean. For church that skully shirt needs to be a polo or camp shirt.

 

The stuff at www.ccs.com is right up his alley. Skinny jeans, kewl tees and hoodies, punky shoes.

 

I've told him I'd give him a wedgie if I saw his skivvies intentionally hanging out of his pants. He grinned sheepishly and told me he had no intention of ever showing off his skivvies. Do boys really think that's going to attract a girl? I never have understood that trend.

[Imprimis]

That sounds fairly similar to my tween ds's style, but I don't have a problem with skulls. ~shrug~ We insist he stay within our parameters and let him wear what he chooses for the most part. He can be dressed in skulls from head to toe, so long as he is tidy

 

Skulls don't bother me, either. I'm guessing the Pirates of the Caribbean had something to do with that trend. My son was big into pirate play for a couple of years, was Captain Jack Sparrow for Halloween, and I think the skull clothing is just an extension of that. A random skull here or there is okay with me....