Annabel Lee Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 (edited) I'm about ready to tote my sons over to our local private Christian school and sign them up. I called yesterday to see if they'd allow them to attend just for all language arts & math; continuing science, history, and "extras" at home. I'm waiting for a call back to see if they'll allow that - they used to do that years ago. Even if they don't allow part-time enrollment, only full-time, I'm still thinking of enrolling my sons. It would be harder on my littlest one going full-time, and that makes it a harder decision. Anyhow, the whole reason I'm thinking of doing this is *for their own good*. I won't go into the details, but a mess of things including depression & insomnia make ME a problem in our homeschool. I've got wonderful intentions, great plans, and truly want the experience and outcome of homeschooling, but all that is inside me. What happens in reality is not alot. Inconsistency, lack of sticking to any schedule, and things like that are what happens in reality. My older son is doing the last 1/2 of his 2nd grade math b/c he needs more practice w/ some things before moving on, but really b/c I just didn't do school enough w/ them last year. I figured OK, finish up what he needs to cover in the 2nd grade book and we can finish the 3rd grade one by Sept. of next year, no big deal since we're homeschooling year-round now. No big deal, unless the same old patterns continue. ETA: His math is an example of how the rest of everything has gone. I go back & forth between being ready to just hand them over and put them in school; and to keep pushing forward and trying at home. It seems to be a cycle. My heart is really, truly in this (homeschooling), I just can't seem to overcome my own issues. What should I do? I'm afraid if I continue "trying" to hs, that the same-old-same-old will happen and they won't learn as much as if I enrolled them; even falling behind more. Lately I've thought maybe their education isn't something for me to try to tackle all on my own (I'll always be involved one way or another). Maybe this is not the area for me to try to overcome my own issues in. They're paying a price for it. I make it sound terrible - things aren't irreparable, but will be down the road soon if something doesn't change. Please don't flame me for failing my kids, I have enough grief over this of my own. Edited September 29, 2009 by Annabel Lee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 :grouphug: I would never blame you for failing your kids. I think the fact that you are trying is a great thing. I think you need to back up and re-evaluate what you want out of your HS experience and be realistic about what you can give them. Are you over scheduling yourself and therefore shutting down because of frustration? What are the reasons you wanted to HS to begin with? Is it the program you are using? If your children are close in age maybe you should try a unit study and pull them all together. I know that this has made a huge difference in our days. What does your schedule look like now? Hang in there and in a moment of peace really think over these things and make a pros and cons list and decide what is best for your children and you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferdie Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 (edited) I think you are right to be concerned because in the early years you are building an important foundation. Thankfully you don't need to spend hours and hours in 1st and 3rd grade hs, but you do need to be consistent in subjects like reading, math and writing. If you truly think you can't meet their educational needs anymore than you need to make a change. One thought before you jump to private school, is to try a DVD hs curriculum as a way of delegating the teaching to someone else. We switched to BJU DVD's a few years ago because I personally had problems hs three children at the same time. It is much cheaper then private school and even though you will need to buy the entire curriculum you can still do your own science and history and just use their language arts and Bible programs. You will still need the discipline and energy to supervise and review their work everyday, but it is about the same amount of energy that you would spend overseeing their evening homework if they went to private. I also spend about 2 hours every weekend making their daily checklist and gathering science supplies, but I spend about the same time each weekend helping my older child with his ps projects. Good luck to you. Edited September 29, 2009 by Ferdie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 What leaped out of your post to me was that you are suffering from depression and insomnia. I don't expect details of course, but that is a very big thing in your life. If your basic needs aren't being met, you can't focus on meeting your children's needs. I've suffered with depression all my life and one of the best things I learned in therapy was about my giving and taking. Imagine yourself as a cup of water. That cup slowly empties as you expend energy. There are things we all do, even on an unscious level, that refill our cup of water daily. I've seen threads on this board about different ways of taking 'me' time throughout the day. Those moments add more energy to your day, or water in your cup for our analogy. Sleep is a very important way of refilling that cup, ready to start fresh each morning. Now, depression is like a small hole in the bottom of your cup. You continue giving of yourself, and now you're losing water from your cup in both directions. If you don't take the time to refill your cup, it only continues to get lower. Taking time out of the day to sit and feel depression doesn't refill your cup, it makes the bottom hole a little larger. It's very hard to give if your cup doesn't refill. In other words, I can see why you are very torn about the situation. You have the heart for homeschooling, but you don't have the energy it takes. This kind of energy is not infinite. It takes work to keep the energy going and there needs to be down time. If you put your children into private school right now, it doesn't have to be a decision carved out in stone. Maybe it can give you a chance to find some healing and to repair and refill your cup. Just something to ponder. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Honestly (and spoken as someone who has been clinically depressed, had insominia and lost copious hair over stress), I'd suggest you take 6 months and focus on you getting better *first* before making any major decisions for your kids. They are young enough that you can still take the 6 months. But they are going to need you as healthy as possible regardless of their educational setting. You can't execute great plans in your situation, but you also can't make good decisions or follow up. This is an example of the whole "oxygen to the parents" metaphor. Please, get better! You deserve it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 What if you put them in school this year with the express goal of working your issues out so that you could homeschool next year? I agree that you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iluvmy4blessings Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 Have you considered getting on antidepressants? They seriously did me a world of good when I needed them at one time. Also, have you considered going to a curriculum that is all in one and more independent? I had to do that myself for reasons you have mentioned. You can always go for Abeka Academy/BJU or one of the other curriculums that do most of the work for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamturner Posted September 29, 2009 Share Posted September 29, 2009 You've gotten good advice already. I just wanted to suggest that if you do decide to continue to homeschool while you take care of yourself, please consider dropping history, science, and any extras. Focus on the core subjects like math, reading, spelling, handwriting. For science you can get a bunch of books about various science subjects and let your dc read them when they have an interest. You could also just let the 3rd grader read books on his level that are history stories or cultures/countries you want him to know about right now. I do agree that you have to get yourself well. I know I often stay up too late and then I have a hard time getting school done. I've been sick lately so I've been going to bed earlier and reading books rather than computer late at night. It's helping me. I hope you feel better soon. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 Beth, when I read your response I cried; you hit the nail right on the head. Thank you all for the kind words, support, and suggestions. I decided not to make any rushed decisions - I'm going to keep on w/ this homeschooling "adventure" for now. Thank you all for helping me see the gray, I don't know why I was only seeing things in black or white. I've ordered up some Abeka stuff for my guys and we'll start on that as soon as it arrives. At least then if my energy goes south, I have something easy to fall back on. On good days I suspect we'll do alot of it orally and I'd love to keep WWE & FLL... Also, Abeka is the curric. the local private school uses if ever it does come to that - smoother transition. I suppose being well and being there w/ the kids is way more important than *what* we're using to get it done. Again, many, many heartfelt thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 That is great that you've ordered the curriculum and have a plan. But - please see a Dr. or a Naturopath. You need to do what you need to do for yourself - medication or supplements that actually work. You need a plan to help yourself too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted October 1, 2009 Author Share Posted October 1, 2009 That is great that you've ordered the curriculum and have a plan. But - please see a Dr. or a Naturopath. You need to do what you need to do for yourself - medication or supplements that actually work. You need a plan to help yourself too. This is already in place, but apparently needs some tweaking. Finding the right Rx (even natural) can take a long time. Not sure what's up w/ me, as I feel alot better in the last couple days. Probably b/c I made a decision, even if tentative. I usually stay away from posting such personal things, but at the moment I didn't really care about that. Feeling quite embarassed now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 This is already in place, but apparently needs some tweaking. Finding the right Rx (even natural) can take a long time. Not sure what's up w/ me, as I feel alot better in the last couple days. Probably b/c I made a decision, even if tentative. I usually stay away from posting such personal things, but at the moment I didn't really care about that. Feeling quite embarassed now. Please don't be embarrassed. Every single one of us has issues, whether we post them or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca77 Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 I was in a similar position my second year homeschooling. Anxiety and depression got a hold of me along with an unexpected pregnancy. I knew I just could not go on with schooling. We enrolled ours back in the local CS. that uses BJU in late Nov. of that year. They spent some extra time with them, and had them back up to speed in no time. It was so freeing and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I remember breathing several sighs of relief for several days after. I was then able to focus on my husband, home, and my poor neglected little. The following year I brought the older home, and left the younger. This year their both back using BJU hardrive, at a fraction of the cost with much better teachers. So we just take it one year at a time, following where God leads. I think if in your heart of hearts you know you can't go on, the sooner you get them enrolled the better. There is no shame, God has a different plan for all families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted October 1, 2009 Share Posted October 1, 2009 Not to be trite (I understand your issues are more complex than this), but are you taking Vitamin D? Do you feel this poorly in the summer? Are you overly energetic and ambitious in the summer? I live in Alaska, and when I started taking THOUSANDS of IU's of Vitamin D in the fall/winter, my son said, "Wow, I like this mom way better. Please keep taking Vitamin D." In fact, preliminary studies seem to suggest that Vitamin D might make light therapy unnecessary. I still do both. Vitamin D might also help with your insomnia, unless you are already following a traditional arctic diet including seal oil, etc. HTH a little. Julie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annabel Lee Posted October 2, 2009 Author Share Posted October 2, 2009 Julie, how many IU's of Vit. D are safe to take? Should I look it in a certain form (liquid, solid, etc.)? Buying a 'happy light' fell off the end of my to-do list this summer and I had forgotten all about it! I'll get one ASAP, as I was meaning to all summer anyhow. I don't follow a traditional arctic diet except for moose/caribou meat & Chitina salmon. I wonder how much of this could be alleviated by just taking better care of myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Not Julie, but I take high doses of vitamin D because of a severe deficiency. You really need to have your vitamin D level tested. A Dr. can do it with a blood test. A "normal" person takes 400 IU of vitamin D a day. I take 10,000 IU a day. But because vitamin D is not water soluble (ie. you don't pee it out if you take too much) it can be toxic if you take too much for your body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buddhabelly Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I disagree; it is very difficult to reach toxic levels of Vitamin D. Most healthcare providers are now recommending 1,000 to 2,000 IU's per day for adults. In the northern latitudes, our skin is making NO vitamin D at all after about September -- even if it is light out. The sun is just too low. Zero. And even salmon is not sufficient to provide all that we need. Here is the Mayo Clinic article on it, which is quite conservative. Read all the way down to note what the "unofficial" recommendation is and what pediatricians are saying. I am sure that ArcticMom has a severe Vitamin D deficiency in the winter, unless she has a vacation rental in Hawaii. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vitamin-d-toxicity/AN02008 All known cases of Vitamin D toxicity have involved over 40,000 IU's per day. And even at 100,000 (that's one hundred thousand) IU's per day, it takes a few months for symptoms of toxicity to develop. Here's an interesting Wikipedia article (you have to go way down to the bottom to find "nutrition" and then "overdose" section). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vitamin_D Now I really must stop with my internet tonight! Oh, I see that while salmon offers 360 IU's of Vitamin D (not enough), herring has over 1,000. :tongue_smilie: Julie Not Julie, but I take high doses of vitamin D because of a severe deficiency. You really need to have your vitamin D level tested. A Dr. can do it with a blood test. A "normal" person takes 400 IU of vitamin D a day. I take 10,000 IU a day. But because vitamin D is not water soluble (ie. you don't pee it out if you take too much) it can be toxic if you take too much for your body. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5wolfcubs Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Beth, when I read your response I cried :iagree: And I don't even suffer from depression! :grouphug: Acrticmom :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesa Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I had no clue vit D helps with depression, and feeling run down! I started taking it several weeks ago (sams club has a big bottle) and I have more energy. I am waking up earlier and getting things done. I started taking it for my immune system... The jury is still out on the immune benefits. I'm sick with a cold. LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 I had suffered through years of insomnia and one thing I can say for sure, life simply falls apart without sleep. I've been taking half a Unisom regularly for about 2 years now due to continued, ongoing stress. I need to get off it and try herbs again, but wanted to encourage you to do your research to help get your insomnia under control. Stress depletes the body of serotonin, and I used 5-htp in the past to build up my serotonin levels. I used it with Valerian/bee balm and passion flower. I used this for 3 months and was off EVERYTHING for about a year and slept like a baby. Stress caused my serotonin depletion again. Also, I had gone to a psychiatrist for a neurofeedback evaluation to help with a head injury. When he found out about my insomnia, he placed an electrode on my head and had me sit quietly for a couple of minutes. This also made me sleep like a baby for about four months! The only problem is that you need to find a GOOD nfb person. I tried someone closer (the other was not only out of my insurance plan, making it very expensive, but he was 2 hours away and to help with my head injury he wanted me to go 3 x per week!) and he had NO idea how to help me and didn't know how to correct sleep issues. If you're sleeping well, you're going to feel well regardless. Still, please do something to help your depression! :grouphug: I also agree with focusing on core subjects and getting your kids strong in those areas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paisley Hedgehog Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.