world's worst reading teacher...

[mindygz]

At least that is what I feel like. I have tried so many things, but my kids are so different than I was at that age/stage, that I just don't know what to do. DD7 started figuring it all out by about age 5, but she didn't like any of the stuff I tried to do with her "academically," so I dropped it for a while and we didn't push it. Only recently have we discovered that she is really a visual learner and very right-brain dominant (along with having OCD and being really into "rules"), and she's finally progressed to a pretty good level after struggling for soooo long.

 

So now I'm trying to teach ds4 (he'll be 5 in December). I've posted about him before. He hates to do anything that he can't already do. He learned most of his letter names and sounds from an online preschool program we have been doing since May and also the Letter Factory. He doesn't have any trouble sounding out short three letter words, but he doesn't like to do it with me. I've tried Phonics Pathways, OPG, Progressive Phonics, and I'm going to give my Happy Phonics a try, but I don't know that I'll have any better luck. I just don't know how to teach him. Someone here suggested teaching a teddy bear or something, and I've kind of tried that, but I don't know how to tell if he "gets" it without any feedback from him. He does what DH and I call "going pathetic" if I try and get him to read or try anything...he kind of shakes his head and makes this puppy dog face. It isn't all the time, but probably 60-80%.

 

Sorry to go on, but this is a classic example of what he'll do--the other day he didn't want to do the lesson in OPG, and acted like he just couldn't read any of the words. I calmly said that was fine, but if we didn't do the lesson he wouldn't get a sticker on his chart, and now it was time for me to prepare lunch. While I'm preparing lunch, he goes and gets the ring of flash cards (the same words he'd refused to read more than 3 of) and reads through every single word, occasionally showing me one and asking if it said "___".

 

I don't know what to do. Not push it? Persevere? The ideal thing seems like somehow having the materials around for him to "stumble upon" and try on his own, but would that work?

 

Thanks for reading. Would love any thoughts. We are doing a couple activities that he enjoys, like "Label A Day" (label things around the house) and "Word Box" (make a new word card for his index box every day).

[AudreyTN]

:grouphug:

 

It'll be ok, I promise. He's also a little young so don't fret!

 

My oldest 2 "got it" so easily and I struggled with my current first grader. He's 6 1/2 and just beginning to sound out words. I used to think it was the program I was using, but I've come to realize that some children just need more time to mature before they can do some things - like read.

 

I would drop it as a formal subject for a while then come back to it in a few weeks or a month.

[Pam Wilhelm]

My girls read by the time they were 5.......... my son is just now getting it at age 8!!! I have been through every phonics program known to man...... :lol: ....... he just wasn't ready. Now he is reading very well......getting better and better everyday!! I know he'll catch up in no time now........ thank goodness!!!

 

Just keep working at it.......

[Amy in TX]

My now 8yo ds read quickly and easily before he was five. But my now 5yo ds is very resistant, and not picking it up quickly at all. I keep telling myself that there is no need to rush or pressure, etc., but it's good to hear this from others. Thanks! :)

[sagira]

I don't start teaching reading until dc is 5 (in K, that's my major goal for the whole year). Before that it's shapes, colors, letter recognition, ABC song, lots of read alouds, and play, play, play. Ds got it really fast (he was reading after a few weeks), but who knows if dd will? If my dc are not reading by 7 years old I would start to get worried.

[Lolly]

Sometimes I think it is a bad thing to have access to internet boards. Sometimes it is a bad thing to have an older child. You think your 4 yo is having trouble reading. You think you are a bad reading teacher.

 

Your 4 yo is way ahead of the game. MOST 4 yo's are just now starting to learn the sounds that go with the letters. MOST 4 yo's canNOT sound out 3 letter words. MOST 4 yo's are not going to willingly and happily sit to do a reading lesson. (At least, not for more than 5-10 minutes.) You say he learned most of what he knows from online programs and Letter Factory. You wonder if he can just stumble across these types of programs and learn more. Yes, he can. My advice is to let him. Next fall, or even this summer, try again with a more formal program. Keep it low key and short. If you want to have him do something with you, just work with him on what he can do. Let him practice a little writing in a fun way if he balks at a pencil/paper. Try writing with paints, in sand, in the dirt, with bread/cookie dough. Team read with him with you doing most of the reading. Keep it all very short and sweet.

[8filltheheart]

I don't think this has anything to do with your ability to teach. :) It is probably more due to over-eagerness to teach than anything else. He sounds like a bright, normal 4 yo boy to me.

 

FWIW.....I would suggest dropping it. Try next fall when he is 5 3/4 and you'll probably have a completely different experience. There is absolutely no reason he needs to be doing it now.

[lionfamily1999]

My older ds would not read for anyone. I finally figured out that I had to sneak up behind him and listen for him reading, but if he caught me he'd stop :glare:

 

Dh will not do something unless it's "his" idea. Older ds is like that too. Younger ds just wants to run the whole shebang. Maybe you could figure out a way to make it "his" idea to read? Or could you have him teach his teddy bear?

 

How about this? You teach teddy bear, ds is your 'assistant.' Lesson's over, now ds needs to make sure that teddy learned everything. Have ds review the lesson with teddy, to make sure he 'got it.'

 

hth

[Ottakee]

I agree with those that said you could easily wait 6-12 months and then try again.

 

If though you want to work on this, the BEST readers I have found are the I See Sam books from http://www.3rsplus.com They are short readers with just a few words on each page and cute cartoon pictures. They move very slowly and give the kids lots of practice. The 52 readers in the first 2 sets would give him a solid K reading program.

 

If these look good to you, I can get you some free samples to print out.

[A home for their hearts]

I don't think you have anything to worry about at all right now. He is already way ahead of the game. ;) My ds who turned 5 in April only knows maybe three letters and has no idea what sounds they make. My ds8 is a struggling reader so I'm concentrating on him right now and once I get him off and running I'll start with my ds5. They'll all eventually learn to read. I don't think you need to make it into a big deal right now. Boys are a lot different then girls, and usually would rather be out rolling in the mud then sitting down and doing school. I would just let him be his age and worry about teaching reading next year.

[mo2]

I would not worry. It sounds like you're already ahead of most 4yos. Kids can vary so much! My 7yo still has to slowly sound out CVC words. My 2yo can already recognize some letters.

 

Have you tried starfall? Introduce it as a "game" not a "lesson." Or let him happen to see you playing it. Or maybe just accidentally leave it up on the computer screen so he'll see it and ask about it.

[mindygz]

I feel like a giant load has been lifted off of my shoulders. I will shelf the "reading programs" for now and :chillpill: and just do the fun letter/word stuff that he likes...more preschool stuff, since that is his appropriate level anyways. Maybe with this approach, he'll pick up so much on his own over the next 9-12 months that I won't have to teach him, it can all just be review. ;) I don't know why I have felt like there is a rush or pressure to do this now. He's just one of those kids (I think fairly typical for #2) who always has seemed older than he is. It doesn't help that he's as tall as most of the 5-6 year olds around here, either. :tongue_smilie:

 

Thanks again for the thoughts and sage advice.