WWYD If you found a young child unattended in a running car in a parking lot?

[sheryl]

I would probably wait by the car until the parent returned and kindly say that I was concerned and wanted to be sure the child was safe. I might offer a gentle word that someone could have easily reported that situation to the authorities and that just causes unnecessary trouble.

 

I JUST now will leave my 9 1/2 year old in a locked car (in this heat I have to leave the air on) for a quick run into certain stores. Not Wal-Mart. That parking lot is too big and too many weirdos there.

 

 

Hi Scarlett and others,

 

Please....I'm NOT causing a riff here.

 

However, consider this:

1) The older the child is, the more "logic" and reasoning they have to be independent. However, a 5 yo, eventhough older than a 3 yo is STILL too young, because they do not have the intellect to conduct themselves in a manner worthy of protecting themselves. Age IS an issue

 

2) What does the law say for your state? Laws are designed to protect people. If your state law says there is no mimimum, which I would question if there was a "no-minimum age requirement", then it still would be "jeopardizing" to younger children to leave them unattended for reasons stated above.

 

3) Have you heard of "car-jackings"? Or whatever they are called. These are offenders approaching a:

a) vehicle

b) idle at a stop light let's say or "anywhere" in idle or stopped mode (topic of this post)

c) day or night

d) city/country

 

They purposefully and with intent approach the car, crack open the window, and you would be none the wiser. What would you do in a situation like that??

 

People have been known to hide behind other vehicles just to approach you to person=jack you into your own car and heaven forbid who knows where they would take you or what they would do. These are on the news everyone.

 

So, car locked unattended....an offender could still get in.

Car locked, windows down.....enter the offender.

 

Do you want to take the "chance"? It probably would not happent to any of us on this board, but it does happen and hence the definition of "chance".....possibility.

 

This is not to cause a riff, but I hope that others will just consider this opinion.

[Moni]

9-1-1 call immediately.

[Elizabeth Conley]

Roughly 13 years ago I was driving my van across Kadena Air Base in the wee hours of the morning. My sick infant was in the car with me. She and I had just spent the last 6 hours in the emergency room. The doctors had turned her into a pincushion. Thankfully, she'd fallen into an exhausted sleep. My husband was patrolling the jungles between Thailand and Myanmar, so I was alone on Okinawa. I realized that I did not have enough Motrin to keep the baby's fever down, so I stopped at the 24 hour convenience store to replenish our supply.

 

I ran inside, bought the medicine, and ran out to the van again. I stared in horror at the locked van. In my exhaustion, haste and anxiety, I'd locked myself out. Knowing full well that if I asked for help, I'd be arrested for leaving the child in the car, I broke a window with a rock and climbed in the side window, lacerating my hand in the process.

 

After the baby recovered I went to the auto-reclamation lot and pulled a replacement window out of a van similar to mine. (Those of you who are sticklers will be overjoyed to know that the baby was right beside me in the junk yard, sleeping in the shade of a wrecked Toyota.) I paid about 3000 yen, and replaced the window glass myself.

 

I have this to say to those who condemn parents for leaving their child in a car for a few desperate minutes:

 

Have a heart. You really don't know the other family's story. You have no idea what fresh misery you bring to their already difficult lives with your judgmental actions. If you want to help, then help. Don't create fresh problems for people already clinging to the very end of their rope.

 

There are ways to reach out to people and have a positive impact in their lives. Calling the police to report a situation you don't understand is not one of those ways.

[Scarlett]

Hi Scarlett and others,

 

Please....I'm NOT causing a riff here.

 

However, consider this:

1) The older the child is, the more "logic" and reasoning they have to be independent. However, a 5 yo, eventhough older than a 3 yo is STILL too young, because they do not have the intellect to conduct themselves in a manner worthy of protecting themselves. Age IS an issue

 

2) What does the law say for your state? Laws are designed to protect people. If your state law says there is no mimimum, which I would question if there was a "no-minimum age requirement", then it still would be "jeopardizing" to younger children to leave them unattended for reasons stated above.

 

3) Have you heard of "car-jackings"? Or whatever they are called. These are offenders approaching a:

a) vehicle

b) idle at a stop light let's say or "anywhere" in idle or stopped mode (topic of this post)

c) day or night

d) city/country

 

They purposefully and with intent approach the car, crack open the window, and you would be none the wiser. What would you do in a situation like that??

 

People have been known to hide behind other vehicles just to approach you to person=jack you into your own car and heaven forbid who knows where they would take you or what they would do. These are on the news everyone.

 

So, car locked unattended....an offender could still get in.

Car locked, windows down.....enter the offender.

 

Do you want to take the "chance"? It probably would not happent to any of us on this board, but it does happen and hence the definition of "chance".....possibility.

 

This is not to cause a riff, but I hope that others will just consider this opinion.

 

Just as a side note, my child is 9 1/2 not 5...not sure if you were referencing my boy or not...

 

As for the laws in my state...there aren't any age limits. Just some sort of 'reasonable' clause.

 

And those possible situations you described....I guess they do happen but much of our decision making as parents is based upon our specific situation and child. For instance, there are parts of my city I would not even stop to get gas much less leave my child of any age in the car alone. Also, my child is a big for his age and bright for his age 9 1/2 year old.

 

I just think we should let parents be parents.

[unsinkable]

Roughly 13 years ago I was driving my van across Kadena Air Base in the wee hours of the morning. My sick infant was in the car with me. She and I had just spent the last 6 hours in the emergency room. The doctors had turned her into a pincushion. Thankfully, she'd fallen into an exhausted sleep. My husband was patrolling the jungles between Thailand and Myanmar, so I was alone on Okinawa. I realized that I did not have enough Motrin to keep the baby's fever down, so I stopped at the 24 hour convenience store to replenish our supply.

 

I ran inside, bought the medicine, and ran out to the van again. I stared in horror at the locked van. In my exhaustion, haste and anxiety, I'd locked myself out. Knowing full well that if I asked for help, I'd be arrested for leaving the child in the car, I broke a window with a rock and climbed in the side window, lacerating my hand in the process.

 

After the baby recovered I went to the auto-reclamation lot and pulled a replacement window out of a van similar to mine. (Those of you who are sticklers will be overjoyed to know that the baby was right beside me in the junk yard, sleeping in the shade of a wrecked Toyota.) I paid about 3000 yen, and replaced the window glass myself.

 

I have this to say to those who condemn parents for leaving their child in a car for a few desperate minutes:

 

Have a heart. You really don't know the other family's story. You have no idea what fresh misery you bring to their already difficult lives with your judgmental actions. If you want to help, then help. Don't create fresh problems for people already clinging to the very end of their rope.

 

There are ways to reach out to people and have a positive impact in their lives. Calling the police to report a situation you don't understand is not one of those ways.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

What a brave, resourceful woman you are.

[Cranberry]

leaving an infant in a car out of desperation is one thing. Leaving a toddler in the car because it's a nuissance to carry them into the store for 10 mins and deal with their shenanigans is a completely different story.

 

Age is a huge factor. 9 1/2, hmm, I don't know I suppose it depends on teh kid, the store, and the location. But under 5, certainly not ever, unless it's an emergency situation in which case you have to weigh your risks.

 

I think it's disingenuous to criticise those of us who would call the cops...we were responding to the original post, with very specific circumstances. I think each person would take into consideration all the facts of the case, age of child, and the circumstances before dialing the cops.

[sadiegirl]

I'm just curious after reading all the posts, what did you do in the situation? I'm sorry if I missed it in all the posts...just curious after all the opinions and thoughts on this. It's been an interesting discussion to read and again this shows why I enjoy reading these forums.

[Elizabeth Conley]

Leaving a toddler in the car because it's a nuissance to carry them into the store for 10 mins and deal with their shenanigans is a completely different story.

 

 

 

When my daughter was 2 and a half, she became angry because the soda machine we'd just left didn't have strawberry Hello Kitty juice. In her two year old mind, I was responsible for this travesty. She threw a full 16 oz can of grape Pikachu juice at the back of my head from her car seat in the very back of the van, just as I was shifting into drive.

 

We lurched forward. I hit the breaks, slammed my head on the wheel, saw stars, and all but passed out. She howled in rage, and cried out her fury for nearly 45 minutes. No juice, strawberry or grape, was tendered. I didn't even look in the rear view mirror. A massive amount of adrenaline was coursing through my body. It was the one and only time in her life when I didn't trust myself to go near her. Two hours later when I parked the car at the end of our journey, she was fast asleep. She looked like a little angel, though she was sleeping in one of the foulest diapers I'd ever changed.

 

I'm not proud od that diaper. Ordinarilly I never would have permitted it to get that bad. On the other hand, that kid and I needed to be separated, if only by 8 feet or so!

 

We just don't know what other people are dealing with. Really and truly, I don't think we should read evil into situations where there are other possible explanations. The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

I'm proud to say that my daughter rapidly matured into an even-tempered young lady. I can count her "terrific two" tantrums on one hand. That being said, they were epic!

[Harriet Vane]

We just don't know what other people are dealing with. Really and truly, I don't think we should read evil into situations where there are other possible explanations. The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

 

Well said indeed.

[Peela]

We just don't know what other people are dealing with. Really and truly, I don't think we should read evil into situations where there are other possible explanations. The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

 

Absolutely.

And I would tend to give people the benefit of the doubt, myself, rather than jump to conclusions.

[Peek a Boo]

The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

This. is. Perfect.

[texascamps]

 

We just don't know what other people are dealing with. Really and truly, I don't think we should read evil into situations where there are other possible explanations. The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

QUOTE]

:iagree:

 

Although I never leave my kids under 12 in a car by themselves (mostly because I'm afraid of the law) I don't judge folks who do. The person obviously tried to make sure the situation was safe, even if only in their own mind. If I was concerned or the situation didn't feel right, I would hang out and make sure everything was okay, maybe if I saw the person, I would remind them that it is illegal, for their own sake. In CO it is illegal to leave children under 14 ( I believe) unattended in a car. I would hate for anyone to unknowingly get in trouble with the law.

 

If the car was not running or the AC was not on then I would have acted, because it may have indicated that the child was left accidentally. However, even then I would not call the police if I could solve it quickly myself and not have anything life threatening happen to the child. Having the police show up might negatively affect that person's life forever. I think we need to watch out for each other more instead of judging them or trying to get them arrested.

[Cranberry]

We just don't know what other people are dealing with. Really and truly, I don't think we should read evil into situations where there are other possible explanations. The interpretation we place on inconclusive evidence says more about us than about the person we judge. We need to be careful, because our victims know the truth. If we really do think the worst all the time, then the darkness is within us, not our targets.

 

 

very true, we don't know...I suppose I'd rather err on the side of caution when it comes to the safety of little children than risk offending their parent, though.

 

But it is also the reason why in the situation originally posted, many said we'd go into the store to page the parent first, or stay with the kid and wait for the parent to come out and give a little "I stayed with your kid as I was concerned for his safety..." before calling the cops. :)