How do you keep your children from working independently?

[rafiki]

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[HappyGrace]

:lurk5:

 

I'm no help-I have the same problem! Wanted to do classical so we could have all these great discussions, and my dc just want to plug through workbook lessons and get them done and be done for the day!

 

Maybe you could set aside mandatory "mom time" where you present/go over lessons that are important to you to teach?

[LadyAberlin]

I think the independence is a good thing. My prof in college liked homeschoolers because they did good work and knew how to study. I think the knowing how to study part comes from being homeschooled. We learned to use the textbooks and learn from them. I think that so long as they are learning and doing well i think it is fine. If you really want discussion either set up a meeting time to discuss things or maybe have them write summerries of things. If they write summaries it will reinforce what they studied and it will kind of allow discussion. You might could have your verbal discussions come from there. I think that as long as they are capable of learning everything without the teaching then that is fine. Curriculum and philosophies like the robinson curriculum and Thomas Jefferson education think that the kids should be independent. I was homeschooled and I remember wanting to do everything by myself. With my 7 adopted siblings that are currently being homeschooled it is different because they are all ESL, my mom really wishes they were independent though. Just think how blessed you are. You aren't have to fight your kids kicking and screaming to get them to do their work. They are doing it on their own initiative and they are even doing more than they half too. That sounds like a great set up.

[butterfly113]

I had this problem, where ds wanted to just be able to do his work, no explanations, discussions etc. I would go over phonics or math and he would just want to get busy with the workbook. I would hear, I know what to do mommy, or I know mommy, can I just get it done.... Workbooks are designed that way by default in someways... there is not alot of 'teaching/discussion' built in. Then after several months, we went through a dawdling period. I got the 'come sit with me', 'talk to me', walks over to my desk and asks 'what are you working on Mommy?' I was puzzled. At first he wanted to just get to it, and now he just dawdled... I finally asked lots of questions. Is the work too hard? DO you like the color on this page? Are you overwhelmed with too many problems? etc.... and you know what I got? " I want you to sit and talk with me about my lessons. I want to do the lessons with the math blocks, or spelling tiles.... or make notebook pages. I want to read and snuggle on the beanbag...." I want you to spend more time with me...!

In a nutshell, he realized he could do it independently, but was missing the fun and Mommy time by just filling in blanks!

Soooooo............ we have switched alot of curriculum for next year!

I will still have some fun workbook independent things, but only filler stuff, extras, as time permits... 5-15 minutes here and there.... critical thinking co stuff, a maze book etc... yet more of our core curriculum will be more interactive. Going through the lessons and problems and exercises together, writing on the markerboard, games together and then he complete a few problems independently.

Hope there is something in this that helps!

[homeschoolmom4]

I also have children that will do this. I will say let's start and they giggle and say we already did it. I found out they were taking it upstairs after supper and working. I did finally talk to them and told them in certain areas to please wait for me, but there are some areas (Math, spelling work, journals) that I told them they were more than welcome to do this with. I have to agree it is nice having children go work without you forcing them.

[MerryAtHope]

I think it's great that they'll work independently! What you could do is schedule a daily 1 on 1 tutoring time with them, and talk through anything you need to. If they've already done the work, ask them questions to make sure they understood what they needed to, or to help them come to a deeper understanding of the topic. Overall, I think this is a very good thing.

 

Merry :-)

[mktkcb]

You do know that this is a good problem to have, right? My kids have the opposite problem, I'm afraid. I just about have to physically walk them to the books, sit them down, put the books in front of them, teach the lesson, then threaten dismemberment if they wander off before they are done :o). Rinse and repeat for each subject. Congratulations on inspiring motivation in your children :o). I am in awe.

Kayleen

[gevs4him]

Wow :)

This is a good thing - our dd 18 was like that she just did her work then we went over it ;) while we were going over it I would then put in the teachings about the next lesson. :lol: That way I did get some teaching in before she did the work. No exceptions we had to sit and go over her work then teach for the next lesson - will say it worked very well. Also, I will have to say her style of learning has helped her do an awesome job at college this year straight A's :)

 

Now our ds who is 6 well lets just say I have to prod him to do his work. Would much rather have a self doer/thinker :auto:

Lisa

[nmoira]

Unless they are racing through just to get it done and are doing sloppy work or not reasonably retaining the material, I don't see a problem. Is there a reason why you don't want them to work ahead? What difference do you see yourself making during lessons as opposed to discussions after the fact?

[HiddenJewel]

I totally agree that independence is a good thing. However, one thing I have discovered the hard way is that just because a student is getting the correct answers on her work does not necessarily mean she really understands the concept. Because of this I feel it is important to have at least some interaction on new material even if the student does not want it.

 

I have one dd that can do her work independently with no problems. If she doesn't understand something she will come to me for help. So if she was in the situation you described it would be a positive.

 

However, dd#2 likes to work independently and does not want my input. But she does not ensure that she is learning the material correctly. So if she was in your situation, it would be a negative.

[Peela]

My kids work independently a fair bit now, but we stop around 10 or 11am for an hour to do "together work". It's when we all sit on the sofas and I read aloud, and we discuss stuff, we do memory work, and any subjects that we do together. Often I will discuss what their writing assignments are.

Then they will go back and work independently while I make lunch (well, sometimes) and they finish off while I have an afternoon rest.

It works for me, but we all love our together time.

[Haiku]

Is their work too easy for them? If they grab it and run off and get it done quickly and rarely miss anything, I'd guess that the level of the work isn't challenging them and they are just trying to get it done so they can move on to something more interesting.

 

Tara

[rafiki]

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[rafiki]

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[HappyGrace]

It's interesting because when I posted awhile back on this board about dd9 being too independent, I got a lot of "she's too young, YOU should be the teacher, they need you to be teaching" type of responses. This thread seems to say the opposite!

 

I want dd to move toward independence and I think it's a great quality. If they're doing quality work independently, great. However, I think there are a lot of areas where I feel it's important to have those important discussions, esp. during logic stage, and esp in content areas. I don't want to hand her books on WW II to read on her own; I want to discuss them with her! In history especially I want to have those discussions about what the Bible says about this or that. I'm learning that there are some areas where with a dc who does quality work independently, like my dd, let them go, but still teach where you feel it's important!

[rafiki]

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[nmoira]

being able to complete a worksheet and being able to discuss a topic. My oldest in particular, I feel tended to be a "skimmer", although he did well on his testing this year and was above actual grade level across the board. Doing school with them also keeps me more involved with what they are learning, compared to skimming the answer keys and going over anything they missed, YKWIM?

Could you let things go as they have been, but each day of your week pick a subject for discussion with each child?

 

My oldest mostly reads ahead. I bought 15 books for this coming school year, I only have 6 left he hasn't read. My middler devours workbooks and 2 months after I've ordered new supplies is starting to complain that he doesn't have enough schoolwork. He does not care for the computer or fiction, but eats up any type of puzzle, logic, math, science, or art book.

What about some projects or other hands-on learning instead of just worksheets? You could keep your "school" days short and maintain a steady progression, but give them options for some more involved work. Suggestions for projects would make an excellent thread.

 

It's challenging keeping them supplied and expensive.

That it is. And one of the reasons I wanted to homeschool was that I thought it would be a savings over private school. It is, but it certainly doesn't feel like it.

[Murphy101]

I would agree with previous posters:

 

- workbook tend to independent working

- the matieral might be too easy or simply not engaging/interesting

- "getting it done" shoudl not mean sloppy or many errors (which you say it doesn't - so that's all good)

 

 

I'd pick 1 or 2 subjects that I feel need discussion the most. In our house the default is usually religion, science, and history/literature. So math, grammar, spanish, and various other supporting subjects are nearly entirely independent. But subjects that build on those are often a combination of discussion and independent work. Which usually requires a chance in matierals and or how they are assigned.

[Narrow Gate Academy]

I allow my kids to work ahead to a certain extent. They can't start math or grammar until I've covered the material with them. I have times set aside in the schedule to work with them one on one for lessons or discussion. Basically, they have a checksheet and know what subjects they can work ahead on if they finish up early. HTH

[Carol in Cal.]

That way they can start in the morning whenever they want.

 

I think that their industriousness should be encouraged.

 

If I went that way, I would also add a discussion meeting with each child every day or two.

[leaird]

Wow, I wish I had your problem. When my kids sneak up to their rooms it is to avoid doing schoolwork, not to work ahead. :laugh:

 

I am looking for more things they can do independently so they don't pull a disappearing trick while I am working with their sibling. Any suggestions?

[creekmom]

I hope Joanne Calderwood doesn't mind me quoting from her yahoo group. It is called "Raisingsl4life" (raising self learners for life). She speaks about WHY we want students to learn on their own in below quote. It's long, but it's an excellent explanation...

 

 

 

 

 

 

"It's pretty simple. Take out the middle man as much as possible, and

in home education, that middle man is you, the teacher. I was talking

with two moms over lunch last week, and they both were telling me that

they feel kind of useless in their children's education if they are

not hands-on doing every subject with their children every day. They

have experienced a bit of hurt feelings when their children have let

them know that they prefer to just go and read and do their work by

themselves. (These two moms each have two children at this point, by

the way.)

 

To be honest, if I had not had too many children to help all at once,

I probably would have been utterly stifling to my children in my

teaching style. I would have continued to model our home school after

the very system in which I had decided I didn't want my child immersed

in the first place!!! If I hadn't gone through times of absolutely

despairing over my inability to homeschool all of my kids at once, I

never would have allowed them to venture out on their own. I would

have been tethered to the only model I had ever known. I am so

thankful that the times of burnout came because I found a much better

way for my children (and for me) as a result. This is precisely why I

refer to self-teaching as "homeschool freedom" because it frees the

student up to fly, and it frees mom up to be mom and not school marm.

 

Think about when your child learned to ride a bike. At first the

training wheels were on, and you made sure that support was there.

Then the training wheels came off, and you were holding the seat of

the bike,running right alongside while your child got the hang of the

no-training-wheels thing. Once he was acclimated to the freedom

from training wheels, you let go. Okay, you probably had your hands

over your eyes and couldn't watch lest he took a tumble, but the child

REQUIRED that freedom to master the skill, to learn the art of bike

riding.

 

Are you reluctant to let go of your child's "bicycle"? Are you

reluctant to trust him to try this learning thing on his own? Just as

you don't expect a child to ride a bike overnight, so the educational

freedom does not come overnight. It is a process, and we have to take

our hands off the bike and let our children go as they demonstrate the

ability and maturity to work more and more independently. There is no

magical bike-riding age. It is definitely a developmental skill that

can not be legislated. There is no magical self-teaching age either.

You know your child best, and you know when he or she is ready to

leave the training wheels behind, but you have to be willing to let go.

 

I have a friend who has two children who will be graduating this

spring. They are very intelligent children. However, the mom recently

and miserably recounted to me that she has to stand over one of the

two to make sure the math work gets done *each day*, and the other

just rips through the work to get it done, not caring about accuracy.

How will they do next year in college when mom isn't there to prod and

chide? It will be a learning experience, at best. This family has not

tried to institute self-learning at any level, by the way. Here's a

case of a great mom meaning well but being too control-oriented for

her children's good. Don't be running alongside the bicycle holding on."

[rafiki]

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[katilac]

As long as you are going over the work with them daily or near-daily, and they seem to 'get' the corrections and aren't simply confusing themselves, I would be fine with this.

 

I'm fine with dd reading her books ahead of time, with the understanding that she might need to re-read at the time in order to refresh her memory for discussion (thinking of books tied to history here).

 

The problem with working ahead for us would be that my dds would tend to get careless and sloppy, so I'd be on the lookout for that.

 

It does sound like they might be ready for something different or more challenging - - have you considered adding Latin or a modern language? Languages are an excellent way to challenge and intrigue students while staying on their level for other subjects.

 

If you go with something like Rosetta Stone or Tell Me More (for a modern language), they can work on their own all they want, but you can still assure mastery.