Calling all military spouses

[TammyinTN]

We are getting ready to start a deployment in the next week. What things can I do to keep Dad in the loop. We have skype setup and working, I have a journal for daily writing for him to do for his Dad. I'm working on a collage of pictures to put by his bed so he can see his Dad each night before going to sleep. I've started a new blog just for homeschooling so he can see what's happening there daily. What am I missing? I feel like something is missing...kwim?

 

 

Thanks!!

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I know someone who takes a pocket sized stuffed animal on his adventures and sends home photos (featuring the animal) and letters of what dad is doing from the toy's perspective (apx weekly). That seems to really engage kids.

[Renthead Mommy]

Well, my son was only 16 -20 months when my husband deployed, so what I did was a big deal for him, and it was before the days of skype. I got a talking frame from Radio Shack. It held two different 5x7's of him and his dad. One message was something like "Night night Collin" and the other was something like "I miss you." or something like that. We'd play them every night before bed, and took it on all the overnight trips we went on (yeah, I went to MY grandma's for a month! LOL!) Eventually he wore them out and they stopped working, but not till after he was back.

 

Like I said, it may be too young for your son, but something like that might be nice.

 

Only other thing I can think of, basically because of his age, is to set up something special 'just between them' type of thing. Like a face book chat or something that only he and his dad can see. Something just between the two of them, that you aren't part of. Might make him feel special, and on the inside loop.

[brinkseven]

My husband just left about a month ago and before he left he set up an email account for the kids. This way the kids can easily send him an email about their day and generally he can reply within the next day or so. They really enjoy "checking" their email and it keeps it personal. I have noticed my older children ds10 (dh deployed on his bday) and dd8 have been able to better express themselves through email than short broken conversations on the phone. This also was a good thing because it turned out my dh doesn't have access to skype and facebook/myspace chat places are blocked. :grouphug:

[Mrs Mungo]

Check all the different internet webcam services. Skype didn't work where my hubby was located but yahoo did.

 

One thing my kids really enjoyed on hubby's first deployment (when they were younger) was we videoed their dad reading stories to them. We did about 14 of them so they could watch one a night for 2 weeks before repeating.

 

ACS had packets of stationary for kids at one point that encouraged back and forth writing. Like it had something the kids or dad would write and then the other would have to respond. It also had games and such printed on them. I'll see if I can find the ones we had and figure out what it was called but you might check with your local ACS and see if they know.

 

Make sure he understands the importance of physical letters in the mail they can keep and show their friends even if he's able to call and/or email regularly.

[Kari C in SC]

I am not a military spouse, but I am a military mom with a 4 and 10 year old that miss their brother. I don't know what your dh's situation will be, but we can im with my ds just about everyday. My 4 year old doesn't read yet, but he loves to send his brother math problems 234+16= and then my oldest ds types him the answer. They will do this for like an hour if I let them. Silly, huh? My little guy is also learning to read because he wants to talk to him. He has learned to type Hi just from watching them. Anyway, I know that was a simple idea, but I gotta say it is keeping this family happy! He did call on Mother's Day and I was thrilled to hear his voice. Hang in there!

[missplacedalaskan]

Dh is not deployed, but he is in Alaska and we are in Mississippi....for another 18 days.

 

One thing that my kids have loved it being able to Facebook their dad. He FINALLY got on FB about a month ago and the kids have loved that they can just pop in and chat with dad when they see him online. And they have been posting on their pages about their daily activities....they love it when he comments back on what they are doing. Dad has also added photo's of what he is doing and they like that they can comment and then their friends can see the pictures too.

[KJB]

Don't know if this was mentioned already, but when my dh deployed he made a bunch of short movies for my kids.

 

For the littles, he read bedtime stories and left silly messages.

 

For the older kids he read a chapter of a book they weren't finished with when he left. He also left "words of wisdom" with silly Dad advice or jokes for the kids to listen to. He made enough so they could watch one segment almost every night he was gone. (Of course, some were really short like maybe just a minute or two clip.)

 

Anyway, they watched one every night at bedtime. They loved being able to see him and they rewatched their favorites over and over.

 

Good Luck to your family! God Speed to your dh!

((Hugs))

[Pretty in Pink]

We do emails and webcam but my children really seem to favor the letters that come addressed to them in the mailbox. They check every. single. day. to see if Daddy has sent them something special. I had never thought of games (I'm thinking tic-tac-toe and hangman) but that might be fun to mail back and forth as well. We also put together small photo albums, one for Dad and one for the kids, full of shots of the boys and my dh together. My dh has taken his album on several deployments and TADs now; it is starting to fall apart!

[teragram]

How about a "time away chart". You could schedule a night out together or a special event to share at pre-determined points thoughout the deployment. It's hard to be separated so you two at home could reward yourselves with dinner out at a favorite restaurant each month or miniature golf or something where you can talk and share special time together and talk about Dad, etc.

I've had friends mark a "how many days until Dad returns" type of countdown but inevitably the deployment gets extended and then it feels worse because you have to keep adding more days to the chain or the chart you are making. kwim? So, I'd stick with celebrating on a specific day each month and be consistent and diligent about it.

[KJB]

Oh, another idea:

 

A friend had a Daddy Bank and every night she gave the kids change (I'm not sure how much...maybe a quarter?) to deposit. Then when Dad came home they spent the money to go to an amusement park. (I think Dad had to pitch in a little too. (0; )

 

Anyway, it was a fun ritual to think of surprising Dad with the trip when he came home. You could buy something for Dad as an alternative. Her kids loved it.

[Mrs Mungo]

Oh, another idea:

 

A friend had a Daddy Bank and every night she gave the kids change (I'm not sure how much...maybe a quarter?) to deposit. Then when Dad came home they spent the money to go to an amusement park. (I think Dad had to pitch in a little too. (0; )

 

Anyway, it was a fun ritual to think of surprising Dad with the trip when he came home. You could buy something for Dad as an alternative. Her kids loved it.

 

This is a great idea! If you made it a "to do something fun with dad when he gets home" bank you could use it for short and long trips!

[Jugglin'5]

Dh is not deployed, but he is in Alaska and we are in Mississippi....for another 18 days.

 

One thing that my kids have loved it being able to Facebook their dad. He FINALLY got on FB about a month ago and the kids have loved that they can just pop in and chat with dad when they see him online. And they have been posting on their pages about their daily activities....they love it when he comments back on what they are doing. Dad has also added photo's of what he is doing and they like that they can comment and then their friends can see the pictures too.

 

:iagree: Husband not deployed, but travels overseas constantly...

[TammyinTN]

Thanks so much for the great suggestions! :grouphug:

[homeschoolin'mygirls]

--choc ones in a jar to be exact.

 

One of my daughter friend's dad travels often for his work. He always counts out the kisses( to match number's days away) and puts them in a decorative container.

 

One kiss a day--when the kisses are gone, Dad's home.

 

They started this when she was very young. She's 13 now and still loves it.

[WagsWife]

Dh is not deployed, but he is in Alaska and we are in Mississippi....for another 18 days.

 

One thing that my kids have loved it being able to Facebook their dad. He FINALLY got on FB about a month ago and the kids have loved that they can just pop in and chat with dad when they see him online. And they have been posting on their pages about their daily activities....they love it when he comments back on what they are doing. Dad has also added photo's of what he is doing and they like that they can comment and then their friends can see the pictures too.

 

:iagree: I was going to say FB as well! My kids (oldest DD especially) love that she can IM with her Dad on FB. He also gets a kick out of seeing what she posts and commenting on it it. This deployment has been much easier because of FB

[Mrs.MacGyver]

We are 3 weeks from R&R here, and I have to say that the Skype/Yahoo thing has been great! We are lucky that DH has been in a place where he has good internet access. He usually calls or at least chats online with us once a day. He has even talked me through several plumbing/electrical/snow plow disasters on the phone which I am so thankful for. DH is not even back yet, and they are already slotted to leave again 11 mos after they get back, ugh! I hope that they are able to have a similiar arrangement in A-stan, because the kids have really been able to keep up with him on so many things. The kids love to talk to Daddy on the webcam, and we did set up email accounts for the older ones. They enjoy getting "individual" letters from Daddy that even I don't get to see (wink, wink). I wish we had done more "actual" letters, but the kids do send individual notes, pictures, art projects in with the packages we send about once a month. It is cute b/c when they chat on the webcam, they can see the things they sent him hanging on the wall behind him in his CHU, and DH really enjoys getting them, too!

 

Another helpful thing for us is that we cross off the "weeks" until he is home instead of days. Some people do this using trash day or Mondays. But even for me, seeing it in week-sized chunks seems to be easier than days.

 

Much love to you in the next year :grouphug:.

[KidsHappen]

When my dad went out to sea he always sent me post cards from all the places he visited. I still have them today. Both of my hubbies did the same when they were away. The kids like getting mail and collecting postcards from all over the world. Another thing is collecting bank notes from all over the world. My dd's boyfriend has a collection of bank notes that his grandfather collected during his military travels many, many years ago. On each note he wrote the location and date where he got it so not only is it interesting but personally relavent as well. I really wish that my dad had thought to do this and that I had continued the tradition. I do know that military dads really look forward to getting mail at mail call so keep up the old fashion tradition of sending hand written letters and pictures. It really means so much to them when they are far from home for long periods of time.

[MamaT]

My son is in A-stan, and it has been very different in terms of communication with us from his last deployment. He rarely can call, email, or Skype, but we have been using motomail, and at least we know we are doing something for him.

 

He says his motomail letters are the highlight of his day. I let the kids type about a paragraph each. It makes them feel better knowing they are doing something to lift his spirits and give him a connection with his family while he is so isolated.