blessedx5 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 From everything you hear..homeschooled children don't worry a lot about peer approval. My 10yo ds is different though. He has ALWAYS been homeschooled too. I didn't begin to notice this until about maybe 6 months ago. Could it simply be his age? Is it something we have done/not done? Anyone have experiences with this? Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 From everything you hear..homeschooled children don't worry a lot about peer approval. My 10yo ds is different though. He has ALWAYS been homeschooled too. I didn't begin to notice this until about maybe 6 months ago. Could it simply be his age? Is it something we have done/not done? Anyone have experiences with this? Debbie I think it's human nature to want to be accepted and liked by others. To expect otherwise just because a child is homeschooled seems very naive. (I'm not saying that you are naive - goodness no! - but that this line of thought is just another example of homeschool rumors that sound good but aren't necessarily accurate) Your child sounds like a normal kid who is growing up.... Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Completely normal. For anyone of any age in any schooling situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 All kids at that age want to be accepted to some degree by their peers, some more than others. I have some dc who didn't care much what anyone else thought of them, and some who care GREATLY. Kids are individuals, whether they are homeschooled or not, and deal with peer pressure on differing levels. I think it helps that they are home and are not dealing with this every day, every minute. At home, we can also take the time to stress to them what is really important (character), but they still want to be *like* their friends. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessedx5 Posted May 12, 2009 Author Share Posted May 12, 2009 thanks ladies. I agree with you. Just feel "odd" because of everything I read/hear...KWIM? Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Actually, this is one reason that I'm glad that I homeschool, because I see this tendency in my kids. Homeschooling doesn't take away the tendency but it lets me monitor them, to talk to them about godly influences etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Actually, this is one reason that I'm glad that I homeschool, because I see this tendency in my kids. Homeschooling doesn't take away the tendency but it lets me monitor them, to talk to them about godly influences etc. I agree!! I have one who cares to a certain degree and one who doesn't seem to care much at all. I used to think I must have done something wrong for the one who cares so much, but after observing her, that child seems to fit in to situations with ease. She gets along with people well, does care about her clothing being "in", etc., but that ability to fit in helps her to be a good influence at the same time. The other child is very, very firm in his ideals and doesn't seem to follow the crowd as much. I guess I am maybe seeing a benefit to both. The one of mine who does want to fit in is almost 14, and I have seen her change in confidence so much since the age of 10. I see how parental guidance, without the day-to-day pressure of peers, has helped to turn that desire to fit in into a gift, if that can be a gift. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneRoomSchoolHouse Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have a brother who has been hs'ed from birth (currently he is 16), I went to private school. He is VERY influenced by others. Unfortunately my mom's coop allowed some questionable families into their coop...kids with piercings and dyed hair. He has completely changed in the last year from a happy kid to a kid who is angry at the world (wears all black,etc). Be careful who you allow your kids to associate with, it CAN hurt them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I have found homeschooled children to behave just the same as "normal" children. Some seek approval, some don't. I have not noticed a difference based on the education of the child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Could be his age. Or his personality. Probably not anything you've done or haven't done. :-) One of my dds rilly, rilly wanted to be around people. For that reason I was *very* careful about letting her be in large groups that had little adult supervision (e.g., school). She'd have been the class president and the homecoming queen, and dated the captain of the football team...and I'd have lost her. So she did dance (ballet and Highland), and 4-H, and AWANA, and Missionettes, etc. She's glad now that I did it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Actually, this is one reason that I'm glad that I homeschool, because I see this tendency in my kids. Homeschooling doesn't take away the tendency but it lets me monitor them, to talk to them about godly influences etc. :iagree: Our oldest is now 11 and he has always been like this. Just another reason to keep closer tabs on him and his acquaintances! He is too easily influenced by his peers, but we have seen great progress and maturity over the last year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 That's encouraging, Christy. My 12 yo DS is so tuned in to what other kids want of him that he has to be restrained to keep him from twisting himself into knots to please them. Social to the Nth degree. I do see growth; but it's slow. I'm happy to say we can talk about it as a real issue for him, and he sees it too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 That's funny - We have one of ours who we joke: This one would most want to go to school. This is the one that, some days, I most want to go off to school! This is also the one that, of all ours, should NOT go to school. Like a PP said - this one would be the hit of every social event, but we would lose that child. Instead, we're encouraging lots of appropriate social contacts, tying heartstrings to ours, loving, connecting, encouraging. And like another PP said - I really think it is almost inborn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Dd14 is homeschooled largely because by age 9 we could see this was going to be a major issue for her and we didnt want to "lose her" to her peers. Now she is older, it is an issue, but one we work with. She is an extroverted, playful, loving teen who wants to be accepted by her peers, and definitely not just her homeschooled ones. Trouble is, her Scouting peers (Scouts is mixed sex here) go to parties where there is alcohol, and they range in age from 14-18. The answer is simply no, she can't go. But certainly, these issues come up for homeschoolers too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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