In theory it's possible that someone like Prince Harry (and others in the UK) would not have studied the Holocaust formally in school. For the GCSE exams (end of sophomore year) it's possible to choose the modules you're going to study (well, the school would choose). So my son this year is taking three US history modules and one Germany history module (homeschooled so our choice), but could easily have chosen not to do the German history module and still get his credit for history. And if you don't continue with history beyond sophomore year, which is common, you might get through school without having studied the Holocaust or other important eras beyond primary school. Certainly not excusing anyone for appearing in Nazi costume ofc just adding context.

My kids have usually tried to set up a meeting with a professor in a department of interest and also ask to attend a class of interest, not necessarily with the same prof. In terms of professor meetings, my kids would send an email setting out a line or two with their background (eg, "I have studied Latin and Greek for six years and am particularly interested in Ovid") and asking to meet to learn more about the department. During the meeting, it's key to be asking questions that are not answered on the website (sorry if I'm stating the obvious!). My kids have found these meetings to be very helpful in determining whether the school is of interest. This is separate from the tour, which as others have said said will often include a group meeting with the admissions team and a campus tour with a student. Just walking around by yourselves is also a good way to get a feel for the school. At DD's top choice, we were walking around chatting about the school when a student stopped us and said, hey I'm a student here, can I answer any questions? She was amazing and helpful, and I think that experience pretty much sealed the deal for DD.

DS is enrolled in a program for high schoolers that has him taking a university-level course. It's like dual enrollment but is part of a separate STEM program associated with a local museum. He can, if I pay, get university (UWash) credit for this course, or I can not pay and he can just take the class. I do not think, based on his siblings' experiences, that he will get credit for this course at college in a few years and so am disinclined to pay. It won't get him out of uni classes or speed up his uni experience. If he doesn't need/want college credit, is there any other reason that I should pay to get him the credits? Would the course be given more "credibility" on his transcript if I pay? It is just enough money that I don't want to pay unless there's a good reason but not so much that I couldn't if I thought it made sense. What am I missing here? Thanks!

Das Fliegende Klassenzimmer by Erich Kaestner -- one of my favorite books in any language. Multiple films as well.

From what my college kids tell me about the emails their friends write, and from the emails I see as a Scout leader, I think there are many many kids who should not be sending emails without adult supervision. I'd say good for your DC for taking it seriously. I also review emails my college DS sends on occasion. With Scouts, I worked with them on writing a variety of emails (in a fun way) that did improve the quality of emails being sent. I don't know whether this approach would help your DC at all as it's best done in a group, but just in case it does, here's what we did: read letters from the 18th century and then wrote the fanciest emails possible. Then wrote the absolute rudest emails to Scout leaders possible (obvs without profanity/obscenity and without sending). Read both sets out loud and have fun with it. Then we talked about appropriate openings and closings and how there was a middle ground. They then practiced a middle ground email.

For what it's worth, I 100% agree with you. DS1 (college junior) has borderline EF skills (for some things). His senior year of high school when he was boarding I had a call with him every single night and visited every single weekend to help him organize himself for exams and actually study. First few years of college I had regular check-ins and got lists of what he needed to do and when, which we went over together. He sent me his plan for managing finals (unfortunately needs a new plan as he's been unwell -- and that requires requests for extensions, which I need to push him to get). Academically he's fine, he does well in summer jobs, but still needs a bit of help organizing. I'm glad I can be available to help him.

It might also be helpful to consider whether a grade skip is appropriate in light of the student's strengths and weaknesses. I'm thinking of a friend of my kids' who skipped three grades. It did not go well, partly because of the social aspects but also because she struggled academically after the skip. In primary school she had excelled in part due to an extraordinary memory, but when after she was skipped to secondary school, she struggled because it was not all about memory any more but also about abstract reasoning and analysis (and EF skills ofc). She eventually dropped back to a more appropriate two-grade skip. I think her memory skills made it look as though she could handle more than she could.

IME a grade skip is appropriate if it can give you access to more opportunities. My girls skipped two grades and were done with high school (national exams) just before turning 16. The grade skip left them with two years to do something else, so one had a choral scholarship at a boarding school where she did a lot of music and had the opportunity to focus on some academics we hadn't done, and the other spent two years doing school in different countries, where she learned languages etc. This was a great opportunity for each of them and was made possible by the grade skip. DS who was held back will also finish high school this year, according to the national exams he's taken, and will have two years to mature (one hopes) and expand on his interests in music and STEM, going more in depth than he could otherwise as he will have completed the basic requirements he needs for high school. IOW, we have not taken the path of get them to college faster and younger, but the path of get the necessary academics done so kid can explore many interests and extracurriculars.

This is not proper data, but I have girl twins born in August and a boy born in August, one day apart. Intelligence-wise there's pretty much no difference between the girls and the boy (boy is adopted so this is a bit weird but okay). The girls were skipped two grades in b&m primary school. We didn't really have a choice and acted on solid advice. It worked out well in the end. Boy performs academically just as well but maturity-wise was just not there, so he had Grade 8.1 and Grade 8.2 and is now in Grade 10 at 16. Both the grade skip and the grade retention were done with psych advice. DS is a great sophomore and would be a terrible junior. Academically he can do advanced work but needs more support than the girls did at that age. I feel like the support he gets is appropriate for a sophomore but wouldn't be for a junior, who would be expected to take more responsibility for himself. It would be interesting to see more data on this.

I like Christmas and actually enjoy decorating and all that stuff but I'm sick to death of having to spend every Christmas at my parents' (and since we generally live far away, that means a lot of travel). My brother gets to spend Christmas wherever he wants -- he asked my mom if he could use their vacation home in a very nice place for this Christmas and she let him without thinking to ask whether I'd be interested! It's just this annual expectation that the kids and I will spend Christmas with my parents or they will come to us. Before COVID, I spent exactly one Christmas not with my parents. It's not that they're awful because they're not; it's that unspoken requirement of attendance and knowing that I will disappoint if I don't show. And they don't decorate or do anything fun or listen to Christmas music, which is what saves Christmas for me. Rant over.

I joined the Y in October. I went today for the first time. Not sure if I should be proud of myself for this or not, but I'm going with yes.

I also did the certificate from UC Irvine and thoroughly enjoyed it.

I have done a bit of college consulting for friends/family/low-income students, but always on a pro bono basis, so the question of hourly rate has never come up. I have a certificate in this and decent experience, so I don't think I'm just making stuff up (at least not more than I usually do). BUT I've been approached via via and asked what my hourly rate is. This would be for families that can afford consultants. What's the going rate? Any suggestions? Feel free to pm if you prefer. Thank you!

I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you and your family peace.

I have a DS interested in summer music as well -- DS1 was at Interlochen and was generally meh about his experience (which is not to say that Interlochen is meh, just that DS's specific experience was meh). DS2 is a different kid and plays a different instrument. Would love to hear reviews/suggestions for camps. @rzberrymom is it okay if I PM you re Tanglewood?

When I tried to get xh to be more involved with the kids (like attend concerts, help with schooling, pay attention to them), he just didn't. Finally he said to me that we just had different parenting styles, and that his was more laissez faire and therefore equally valid. Not so. I still remember years ago when I was married and had to go away for a night for one child's event and intended to leave the other two (around age 12) with their dad. They were so upset at the prospect that I called a friend to take them for the weekend instead.

Thank you all. This is both helpful (feeling like I'm not alone or crazy!) and slightly discouraging (in that so many others are in a similar type of boat). But ultimately also encouraging so I'm feeling like I will keep going and make this work. As @madteapartyknows I've done work here and there and that's been good. I think rn I'm surrounded by people irl who simply don't get the situation or respect the frustration, and maybe for me, it's key to have the frustration acknowledged so that I can feel encouraged to take next steps.

Thank you. Kids are mostly raised and doing well. Just DS16. I've been trying to start my own business, in my field, and it's tough going. Living closer to family now and struck by how certain (male) family members have not once asked me what I'm doing jobwise/careerwise. When I have tried to say, gee I'm frustrated at how things have gone, and look at X who is successful bc X has a spouse who stays home and lets him be successful, I'm just told I'm wrong etc. A fair bit of emphasis among those around me on money as the sole measure of success, which I don't really agree with (not saying I'll say no to money but I think it's possible to be successful without being wealthy). I need to ignore the negative and keep working on my own business because I think it can work eventually or go back to a regular job and keep this as a side hustle but I feel so very very far behind and so very very frustrated.

This is a JAWM please. I have plenty of people who do not AWM and make this known to me. In sum, it's annoying to have had the prospect of a promising career derailed by a divorce and an exh who has never lifted a finger to help with the kids (except tbf to pay support; none of the kids has spent more than a couple of hours at a time with him and that only every few months). This has made homeschooling difficult and restricted my ability to take jobs to those that let me work part time/from home/have no travel so that I can be there for the kids at all times. Now the kids are mostly grown, this in turn means I have a low earning power compared to those around me, which is frustrating, and have not done what I could have done had exh pitched in a bit. No one around me gets this and apparently it's my fault as I shouldn't have adopted kid #4, or or I have nothing to complain about as I never actually had any career prospects at all because women don't have careers anyway. So please JAWM.

The Scout leaders in our former Troop got so disgusted with the Scouts' complete inability to write remotely civilized emails that we (me) started running annual "how to write an email" session. It actually worked very well, as we had the Scouts read very old-fashioned overdone letters and write emails in that style, and then write the rudest emails they could come up with. Then told them the sweet spot was in the middle. It was one of my favorite sessions to run as we always had a good laugh.

Thanks. The school had no problem with the evaluation reports, fortunately, probably because everything is well and recently documented. I'm getting a new private evaluation done next year, so it will count for college as well. Hoping to avoid having to do one this year and another next. I checked with someone legally knowledgeable about this state's law and apparently the school can't refuse this and is endangering their funding by refusing. Oops. Hoping the school are looking for a reason to give DS the 504 rather than looking for reasons not to.

IME, I would start with a formality for emails to kids' schools, activities, tutors, doctors, etc. When I receive emails from schools, tutors, doctors, etc, I get the same level of formality. This is for the UK, where I also get emails from people who make it clear that they are to be addressed as "Mr X" or "Mrs Y". I wouldn't use this with friends or work colleagues; for friends, I would be more friendly and personal, for work colleagues, depends on the relationship and number of people on the email chain. If it's a work thing where I'm dealing with someone I know well, I'd just saying something like Hi X, here's the document you asked for" or similar.

"I hope you are well" and similar sound very UK to me. I would feel rude if I just started an email to someone in the UK (other than a friend or work colleague) with business matters or a question. It's usually "I hope you are well" or "Thank you for your email" or "I hope you had a good weekend" or similar. It's not just me either; most of the people I would correspond with are the same. The US seems different though. People just jump right into the email. No judgment from me either way, or one people's reactions.

To follow up -- So we had a pleasant meeting with the 504 team, who were all on board and agreed that DS would definitely qualify for a 504 plan IF he were enrolled at the school (right now he's attending an afterschool club only). So they want to say no he doesn't get one and will tell the College Board that he doesn't get one. I pointed out that this doesn't really make sense, as I think the main question is whether his issues are such that he is entitled to a 504 plan rather than whether he has one in school. They've agreed to go do some factfinding. They were very nice but not as knowledgeable as would be helpful.

Been there three times so far but have a few years off until #4 applies, although I'm helping a kid pro bono and she said "I don't know if I applied to school X yet. Maybe. Maybe not". You have my sincere sympathy. It will work out.