Personally, I think that it's important to study the whole Bible and not skip parts. And I don't think that my kids should be sheltered. I would talk about these parts of the Bible with them with no problem. But my boys are struggling, and I'm trying to figure out how to handle it. They have been complaining and asking me to intervene. DS13 said the other day, "Did you talk to the school yet? Because he is still doing it." I don't believe that my kids need to be comfortable with everything that happens at school. For example, DS13 gets intervention services, and he dislikes some of it and has said he wants to stop doing it. That doesn't mean he gets to stop doing it. Just because he wants the Bible teacher to stop talking about these issues doesn't mean that the Bible teacher needs to stop talking about them. Sometimes things that are beneficial to us are also uncomfortable for us. But because it's a sexual topic, it's really brought up some gray issues. When do we know that the topics are okay, and when they have gone over the line? Also, I want my kids to know that I will believe them when they bring concerns of this nature to me. When is feeling uncomfortable okay, and when is it not? I'm thinking about how the way that I handle this will be seen by my kids as well. Will I go to bat for them? Will I believe an adult's word over theirs? If this time talking about sex with the teacher is okay, then where is the line for them to know when it is not okay? I'm just thinking through all of these things. I'm not convinced that the Bible teacher is in the wrong. I'm trying to work it out.

I'm very sorry. I prayed for your brother and will continue to do so. Head injuries are so scary, because the outcome is unpredictable. I hope not only that he survives, but that he regains his functioning.

By the way, I'm terrible about remembering to use the Like button, but I appreciate all of your responses.

Yes, this. We are continuing the conversation with the pastor and principal and will see what they have to say. I'm just trying to gauge how typical this kind of lesson for this age is. It may be that my kids can benefit from learning how to handle uncomfortable topics. It may be the topics are not really appropriate. I'm trying to figure out how to know which it is. The pastor's first response was nice and thoughtful, and he gave a pretty thorough overview of the general themes for the year. But I wasn't satisfied with his answer, and he didn't respond to my follow up, where I raised some important points. So there are two issues, really. I'm annoyed at the communication. And I'm trying to determine whether the class content is appropriate. Which is hard to do without better communication.

I am on guard about people that I don't know talking about sex with my kids. I just am, because of the incidents that I referred to. I think it's okay for them to read through a passage of the Bible that contains an unsavory incident. There are many of them, after all. But I wonder if the pastor is thinking through this clearly enough. Does he really need to be bringing these things up over and over? My one son says that the sixth grade kids seem to be struggling with it. They put their heads down and groan. They ask questions that perhaps prolong the discussions past what the pastor prepared for. This is not unexpected behavior from kids this age, of course. But the fact that it is happening multiple times concerns me. And the pastor said in his email that he wants to be a safe person for the kids to talk to. But I have not determined that he is a safe person, because I don't know him. And he is talking about sexual topics with my kids without alerting me as a parent that he is doing so. An example, when talking about the idolatry, he made a point of talking about how some people were worshipping "gods of sex" and had to do sex acts as part of worship. As far as I can recall, the words "gods of sex" is not in the Bible. It is not something that needs to be described to kids of this age. Is it?

This was the pastor's explanation. He was talking about guilt and shame as the lesson and thought the dog shaming video would be fun. He neglected to watch it all to make sure it is appropriate first. I can accept that explanation. But it suggests to me that the pastor is not being as thoughtful as he might about the material he is presenting to the class. He is not really supposed to be a teacher. He is stepping in, because the school is short staffed. He is not trained as a school teacher.

I'd be willing to drop in and listen to a class. But I wouldn't have a way to know if this kind of topic were being addressed on that day. We may go to the school to have a meeting, but we will see how they respond to my husband's email today. Our little school has been going through some troubles over the past year, and we have a new principal. Good communication is one of the issues parents complain about. I hope this new principal may do better than the old one, but he is also overwhelmed by running the school daily and also fixing problems created by the past administration. All that is just to say that we would be happy to go there for a meeting, but we are seeing if we can resolve it through email first, because we know the principal is busy putting out fires daily.

All of these things are discussed within our family freely. We talk about sexual topics openly and answer all of the kids' questions. My boys know they can talk about anything with us. They also have been told that they should always tell us if another adult does or says something that makes them feel uncomfortable. This summer, our married youth pastor was let go from our church (not the same church as the one associated with the school) for crossing the line with a member of the youth program. Also this summer, a counselor at the camp that my children attended was arrested for child molestation (this was national news). So we have had a lot of conversations over the past months about being wary. I am trying to figure out if my boys are being sensitive in the way that all kids of that age are likely to be with these kind of topics, or if the class discussions are crossing a line. Because I'm not in the classroom, it's hard to tell. The dog video was not a terrible thing, but I did question why a pastor would show it to his Bible students. It bothered my boys, who are typical boys who would normally find that kind of thing funny.

I could use some other perspectives on this problem we are having, but I'll say upfront that anti-Christian sentiments are not going to be helpful, so please don't express them here. My sons are enrolled in a Christian school and are in sixth and seventh grade. They have the same Bible class, which is taught by one of the church's pastors. The boys have been expressing concern about sexual content in the lessons. The pastor is going through the first books of the Old Testament, which do describe some unsavory encounters. In addition to the discussions of the poor sexual behavior in the Bible, the pastor showed a video of "dog shaming" -- you know, the ones where the dog has a sign around it's neck explaining the bad thing it has done. And one of the signs was about humping the neighbor. My boys thought this was inappropriate (as do I). I emailed the pastor to ask what kind of curriculum he is using and to question whether this material is appropriate for 11-13 year olds. His response was to apologize for not vetting the video well enough and to acknowledge that there are "uncomfortable" passages in the Bible, but that he wants the kids to have a safe place to discuss these things, given the culture that we live in. He then gave an overview of the curriculum topic to come. I responded in an email that my concerns remain -- and I listed some personal things in there and explained why we have instructed our boys to always tell us when they feel something uncomfortable is occurring. I said that as parents, we have to be vigilant and cannot be automatically trusting, even of church leaders. I asked if he could notify parents of upcoming sexual or violent content and offer the chance for them to have their kids opt out. I suggested that they evaluated the curriculum to determine if this is the most appropriate material to be teaching children of this age, considering that they have the whole Bible to choose from. *I sent my original message on Tuesday. *On Wednesday, the pastor responded with his explanation. *On Thursday morning, he presented another lesson that included sexual content. *On Thursday morning, I sent my request to be notified of any uncomfortable content (he likely received this message after he had already conducted that day's class). *Today is Monday, and we have had no follow up acknowledging my continuing concerns or my request for parental notification. It's impossible for me to know whether my boys are being sensitive to a small discussions of uncomfortable topics, or if the pastor is crossing a line. All I know is what my boys have described, that they feel uncomfortable, and that they have asked me to talk to the teacher about it (which is unusual for them). We are sending a follow up email today. This time written by my husband, so that they know we are in agreement that this is an issue the school needs to address. I'm curious if any of you have had this kind of topic discussed with your middle schoolers at school or at church. How concerned would you be? Do you think this is a time for the kids to rise in maturity and learn to talk about sensitive topics, or it is inappropriate for this age? Where would you draw the line, as a parent, when you are not the teacher of the class?

I'd recommend the Flavia de Luce series by Alan Bradley. The first one is The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie. They are mysteries starring a young girl, but they are technically adult books, not YA. Flavia is unique and delightful, and the mysteries are charming. Very, very fun, though there are some serious bits as well.

I think you should give the Lego set to him. But we do give an equal number of gifts to our kids.

Wait. What? Infertility is grounds for divorce? Right up there with adultery, abandonment, and abuse???

I'm sorry. I understand how hurtful that must feel, because I had something similar happen with my parents (though it was not about a pet).

We have had our share of issues to address with my kids. What you describe has not been one of them, so I totally don't have knowledgeable advice to offer about how to help her. But I will agree with others that paying people to provide therapy, when they admit they have no idea what is actually wrong.....not the best choice. I know it sometimes feels like we should grab any help that is offered, but I think that you should consider this evaluation you just had to be a start of a journey toward figuring it out. A good step, but not where you stop. Somehow, you need to find someone who is an expert in this kind of thing and take her there for evaluation. I know it can be scary to think there may be something wrong and that we might hear distressing news about disabilities. It's really emotional and hard!! But don't let that block you from seeking help. Whatever the cause is, being able to NAME it won't change anything, other than knowing better how to help her. The underlying cause is present, whether you name it or not. It's a normal fear, but you can face it and march forward!! :grouphug:

Yes, I am a big reader. I have a bachelor's degree in English literature! I have a master's degree in children's literature! When I was in the working world, my jobs were in publishing and bookstores and libraries. One of my main reasons for wanting to homeschool was my love of books and reading and wanting to share it with my kids and see them devouring books like I do. And I have two kids with reading disabilities. One dyslexic. One with comprehension issues. It was so so so so hard for me. So hard. It has at times been a deep sadness to me that my kids don't love reading the way that I do. Because reading is the BEST!!! It makes me so happy and fulfilled!! But it's not really the best avocation for my kids. I've come to accept that they will be happy and fulfilled without being people who read a lot for fun. They will find their fulfillment in other things and mostly just read when they have to for school. And that's okay. I know that is a sidetrack from the main point of the thread, but I had to share, because it's such a personal thing for me. And sometimes I remind myself that DH is super Ivy League smart. And he's not a big reader. He will enjoy reading books when I hand them to him and say, "Read this one." And he will read that one to the end and enjoy it. But then not pick up another book for weeks until I hand him another one. He enjoys it, but it's not his thing. And that's okay, too.

Yes. This. Even when remediated, the act of reading is likely to take more effort from the brain in someone with dyslexia. The brain has to work hard. So using supports can make a difference. So our dyslexic teacher had people read her tests aloud in college, even though she could read the words herself, for example. When her brain didn't have to work on the decoding, she could use her brain power to think through the content of the question and figure out how how to answer it. When she had to do the decoding as well, she would wear out much sooner and would be able to comprehend and process less. So she used her decoding accommodations and saved her brain power for the thinking tasks of her schoolwork.

A lot of good answers for others. I'll just add an anecdote. The intervention specialist at our school has dyslexia herself. She was remediated enough that she is now an OG tutor and has a master's degree in reading education. She mentioned today that using text to speech technology (she uses Voice Dream app) got her through her college classes, so she continued to benefit from support, even with a high degree of remediation and education. I do think the comprehension issue can be related to the trouble with decoding. But it's also possible to have comprehension problems not related to decoding. It might be worth doing some work with him to see if you can tease it out. (sorry, too tired now to have a good suggestion about how to do this.)

It's an interesting idea. But the idea that dyslexic people have trouble reading due to a vision problem that makes the letters twist or look backwards (as mentioned in the text) is not true. Vision problems are one thing. Dyslexia is something else -- a phonological processing disability. Some people may have both. It's possible that some people with dyslexia could find that font type easier to read. If so, I think it would be great! But the definition of dyslexia in the article is incorrect.

When DS started on meds, the pediatrician started him off with a higher dose, because DS's scores showed his ADHD was severe. So it's the doctor's discretion what dosage to begin with and what drug to try first.

I agree with that. My post wasn't really about my B grade. It was about my roommate's stress over keeping her 4.0.

I don't do well with it, either. It's stressful for me, instead of enjoyable, even when it's a close family member.

My mom bought diaper safety pins. They are larger than a standard size, and you can get them in different colors, so each person can have their own color. I haven't looked at clips, but I am guessing safety pins would be cheaper, and they work great (if you can get your family to use them). ETA: I mention my mom, because she managed to get us to do this, but I haven't tried with my family.

DS13 has a math disability and ADHD (and other learning issues), and a major aspect of his LD is that he forgets previously learned material unless he practices it constantly. Another aspect of his disability is that he doesn't generalize, so when a problem is stated in a new way, he can't do it, even though he was able to do that kind of problem previously. The more complex the problems are, and the more steps that there are, the more trouble DS has with it. DS is enrolled in school, with an IEP. The way it works at school is that he continues to move forward in the math class (which is a small class that moves at a slower pace), learning new material. And then his special education teacher works with him on reviewing things like basic fractions, decimals, etc., which have dropped out of his head. She also made him a binder that he can use to look up basic information, when he has forgotten it but needs it for an assignment. We need to work on him using this tool, but it's good that he has it. So I agree to include a regular review of the basic concepts. I don't think you need to back up and stop progressing. But you may find that math moves at a slower pace going forward, because of the constant review that is needed, and because when the basic math things are not automatic, learning the new material is going to be harder. We were told by the neuropsych that DS's math disability was going to be much more evident as he got older (when he was diagnosed in third grade, it came as a surprise to me), and we're seeing that come true. I hope some of that is helpful. Since your son is doing algebra in eighth grade, that's good! If he takes two years to get through algebra, I think it's okay, and he still wouldn't be behind. If you need to set a slower pace, I wouldn't worry.

I agree with the statement I changed to bold. I was an excellent student in high school and college. In college, I got a B my first semester in one class and all A's after that until graduation. I was pleased with my final GPA, which I worked hard for. My senior year, I had a roommate who had a 4.0 going into her senior year. She was absolutely terrified of getting any B's and spent that year extremely stressed and relied on tons of caffeine (NoDoz pills) to fuel her studying. She was a wreck. In contrast, the pressure was off of me to get a 4.0, because of that first semester B. No one in the twenty years since graduation has ever asked me what my college GPA was, by the way. And I'm sure no one has asked my roommate. Was all that stress worth it for a few decimal points on her GPA?

Also, would you consider buying a caddy that hangs on the showerhead? Ours has hooks that we hang the washcloths on while they drip dry. It may make it easier for your son to have something in the bathroom that he can use for storing his used washcloth, instead of taking the washcloth out of the room. Where does he take it by the way? The laundry room? And what does he do with his wet towel? Can he hang the wet washcloth with it? When I was growing up, we hung our washcloths on the towel rack with the towel. You may not like coming up with a new system, because it may not make the bathroom look the way that you prefer. But if it solves the problem, it could be worth it. Make the task simpler for the son to accomplish, work with him daily to learn the new system, and after a month (takes 21 days to learn a new habit, supposedly), hopefully you won't have a washcloth problem any more.