Is there a handy acronym for this? Like, I don't want JAWM, I want something that says "Be a little nice, I'm still processing and figuring this stuff out in my head, but I can't figure it out until it comes out of my head and another person reads/hears it."

I actually envy her a lot, because things feel really hard right now. I don't like that feeling, so my mind jumped to being judgmental as a shield. Then I reminded myself that my life is good, her life is improving, and I can be happy about both those things, even in the middle of stress. I don't think I reached stage three of that until the end of my post, so I don't blame you at all for finding it judgmental. It's probably not the best idea for me to process these things in a public forum like this, but I have few chances to process things through in in-person settings, and clearly I need to process.

I know my post wasn't entirely clear, but they never can be. Like some upthread said, I'm envious at my friend's ability to take the time to stand in a store, polling her friends on Facebook about whether to buy a toy or use the money for expenses. I'm proud of her for reaching a point where she thinks that far ahead as her life has been hard in a lot of ways that I'm sure not going to go into here. And I'm, well, not sure of the way to phrase it, but just struck by the vast differences in our lives. It reminds me why we've drifted apart. Not because her adulting is worse than mine, but because we now have such different concerns. And I know in ten years, we may be more similar again, or she could be this interesting person that occasionally flits into our lives and back out, giving my kids a window into the fact that people have very different lives and there are multiple ways to have a good life. The extended adolescence is very specific to things in her life, and it does seem she's moving out of it, but it's a hard thing. I haven't said anything here that I wouldn't talk with her about gave to face, and I should keep it that way.

On Facebook just now, one of my friends from high school was debating whether to make a frivolous 25 dollar purchase. She passed, remarking how grown up life is full of hard choices, but paying bills is important. In so many ways this makes me happy as she has really struggled to grow up and get her life on track. In other ways, I'm swaying between envious and scoffing. I'm expecting my fourth kid, my husband is deploying. Real grown up life is hard. It would be nice to be a single adult trying to decide whether to buy a literal toy. But it's also good being fully a grown up instead of stuck in extended adolescence. Our house is paid off. Our parents respect us. We have stability. Clearly I'm not going to post any of this on Facebook, so I'm musing here. My life seems inevitable until I am suddenly reminded how small decisions, multiplied many times, mixed with many factors beyond our control, put us where we are. Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?

The volunteering thread made me remember how much I loved putting together Operation Christmas Child boxes as a kid. I don't currently feel comfortable with the organization doing it (I don't like my religion mixed with politics so strongly). Does anyone know of a similar project, Christian or secular, to do with my kids this year? We'll probably also do a local thing, but I enjoyed the international aspect of OCC.

I think some of this may come from the attitude of the homeschoolers they meet on the playground. One mom mentions how much she'd love to homeschool, but it seems like so much work, and the other mom or moms (generally only with young kids) jump in, trying to be reassuring, saying things like "it's no trouble at all" "kids learn so much through play" and the like. Then, they do a bit of research and all the advertising bots start hitting them with ads for k12, Accellus, Calvert, Bob Jones, etc that seem to promise education in a box and from a screen. Yes, they should use their heads and realize nothing worthwhile is ever both free and easy, but it isn't just that us young moms are lazy and clueless.

For his weakness, maybe "by nature I'm not very outgoing, but in my last job I learned a lot about working with people and as a team and I'm much more comfortable in those situations now. I look forward to continuing to grow in this area."

Lots of babies have older siblings who are elementary school students during flu season. They generally aren't as good as their teachers are about washing hands. Absent major health problems, I've never heard of anyone banning big siblings from the home.

This is why we drive an old, but very nice, Buick sedan. My husband arrived back in the states at the same time his granny needed to stop driving (all, she'd probably been unsafe a while at that point.) Dh's mom told granny "your grandson desperately needs an affordable car and you know how impossible it is to find one these days" and told dh "You are buying granny's car." Do you have any young relatives who might "desperately" need a car?

Ack. Hopefully I can let this stuff push me to better snacking, but Goldfish and the like are just so easy. I planted lettuce this year partly because it seems linked to so many outbreaks. Someone posted a link in a Facebook group I'm in that claimed backyard chickens were a huge risk (we got chicks this year), but the numbers were really very small, and in situations like that, the need for good hygiene is obvious. You can't wash snack crackers, and they don't seem dangerous.

It sounds like he responds well to explicit instruction. I don't have teens, so this is just an idea that can be quickly rejected, but one day, could you sit down with him and talk about the progression of taking responsibility that occurs over a young person's life. Talk about the things that you used to do for him but that he now does, being appreciative for how he does the good things he does. Then project into the future. Make a list of the things he'd reasonably be expected to do when living on his own, then ask him which things he thinks an adult living in his mom's house should do. Then ask which of those things he could reasonably start doing now. I do this in miniature with my little kids, explaining that babies can't do anything, little kids can do a lit to help themselves, and big kids can start to help others. That's where I'm coming from.

With the niece, I'd try to take an educational role. "Oh no, boys don't wear tutus. See, here are some pictures of famous male ballet dancers and what they wear." With adults I'd be much more annoyed and would probably still take the same route of re-education, but I'd probably do a poor job keeping condescension out of my voice.

I've done the ride by the same company with the same vehicles in our area multiple times. Here they require kids to wear life jackets but point to the vests in racks above the seats during the safety briefing, as well as tell you to jump out the windows in case of emergency on the water. The seats are a lot like school bus seats and similarly spaced. I think they are relatively conservative about cancelling rides due to weather, but in not sure in the policy. I know today they suspended the rides until they get the results of the investigation to come in Missouri.

Around here, that many unexcused absences would really cause a problem and might lose your children their place at a charter school, I'd there's a waiting list. Not to mention truancy reports, especially if you have a problematic relationship with the school. Since you can afford it, I'd talk with your husband about whether he'd rather budget for rental cars our a new/used vehicle.

I can't speak to all of it, but when we had a kindergartener enrolled in a dual language kindergarten (half time French, half time English), the French side of things was not at all stressful. They knew most kids coming in knew nothing, so it was very incremental. This actually made it not work for my child, who knew enough French to be incredibly bored. Talk to the teachers who would be teaching Spanish if you get a chance to go to an open house type event, as well as other parents. Some dual language schools probably are very tough and stressful, but a lot aren't.

I understand and agree. Thankfully, I was never taught to put the founding fathers on a pedestal, though once my mom bought some book that would have, for me to go through on my own time. I flipped through the first few pages and suddenly understood the perspective of many of the older folks I've known. I have an ancient Georgia history book (from the thirties or forties) I plan to use to show my kids how our understanding of history changes.

I appreciate that my teachers taught us a lot of the goods and bads of American history. We learned about internment camps, the Know-Nothing party, etc. We didn't have time to get to everything, of course. I remember being given a sort of "also, interesting stuff went down in South and Central America that you should check out." Still, I don't think salacious details of presidents' lives need to be included in a school class on American history unless they strongly influenced decision making in some way. They should be included as relevant in an adult-level biography, of course, but I don't believe it's some great loss if that gets missed K-12 or in a survey of history in undergrad.

One uncle got married some time after forty, so his most mischievous brother had time to mature and realize that this groom wouldn't appreciate anything over the top. He still threatened to catch a turkey and let it loose in the sanctuary, something he probably would have done as a younger man. For the few days leading up to the wedding, during the rehearsal, etc, prankster uncle had a turkey call and made sure it sounded like a lone turkey was nearby. As the bride and groom left the sanctuary, they could see, prominent above the exit, a giant purple turkey. (Purple being the bride's favorite color.) They loved it and greatly appreciated the restraint shown.

My husband found slow news in French on one of the French news websites. It's just the day's news read a bit more slowly and simply. I think there are two or three levels. If I can find the actual site I'll link it. If you prefer to not have your kids hear adult level news, that won't work, though.

I remember Easy Mac being available before 2004, when I graduated high school. One big advantage of Easy Mac was you didn't have to add milk or butter, just hot water.

Sometimes heat helps. If you can aim a blow drier at one spot for a moment and then try it, you can find out pretty fast if it will help with these.

One of his frustrations with his job is that the training is not terribly deep. They probably watched a powerpoint that gave some tips and techniques, but "have them learn" might be a higher standard than what actually happened. I'd have to ask him about that topic specifically. Like many jobs, those who care about a certain area get plenty of chances to practice and hone the craft, however they are trained.

I think it was good he totally ignored the political aspects and the difficulty understanding her ideas and calmly explained facts. He didn't mention the officer at all (though he knew him), so he didn't sound defensive. I know he practices defusing tense situations all the time going on calls, but his ability to do it online impressed me! He hates his job, but I see he's good at it.

Last night, there was a long and rambling post on our town's unofficial Facebook page. A woman's daughter had been in a wreck, the other driver was at fault and had a positive blood test for alcohol, and the woman was up in arms and calling out the responding police officer by name because, she said, he had allowed the drunk driver to go free because the driver was an illegal immigrant and (insert crazy sounding political rant here). Her actual story was harder to follow as she opened with the political rant, which included stuff about murder, and English is not her native language. There were thirty or more comments, some taking her side in that rant, others trying to clarify sequence of events, while still others argued about whether she was a Russian troll. It was shaping up for some fine weekend popcorn munching entertainment. Then, my husband, who is a police officer but did not identify himself as such, politely explained that since the man had a blood test, he clearly had been arrested, but in an accident that bad, the jail doesn't take injured suspects but instead they go to the hospital. He explained further, including the fact that street officers have no way of ascertaining a person's immigration status unless they have been reported as previously deported. The woman liked his comment and then took her post down. I'm not sure, but someone's mind may have been changed by being given accurate information on a social media post. Is that a unicorn? A Fourth of July miracle? Have you ever seen the like?

From what I understand, leaving a car in the sun gets it hot enough to kill bedbugs, at least where I live. If I were concerned, I'd just go to the library as the first errand, then leave the books in the hot car while I went and did other things. If the other things didn't take long enough, I could leave the car in the drive way with the books inside for a while. I think our library rats books they suspect have been exposed. I've occasionally gotten a book that smells strongly of mothballs.