:grouphug: Yes to what Mandylubug said! Been there and still go there and my kids all 3 of them got their diagnosis some time ago. It's hard momma but hang in there! You'll have victory days as well with your dc. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I am an introvert. I can carry conversation but do get uncomfortable just letting loose with new people. My MIL is an over the top extrovert. She's the loudest person in a restaurant and doing outrageous poses at the bowling alley for fun and crazy picture ops. She had clear expectations of how her family operated and from the get go she let me know with a smile I needed to conform. (the smile eventually faded :-( when we still had a relationship she was pretty upfront) She talked frequently about the dh x girlfriend and her fondness of her. They carried on a relationship for a good year or so after dh and xgf broke up, finally when the xgf moved on and got a new bf my MIL didn't like her so much and their relationship ended. When she did try to talk to me or ask my opinion I appreciated that and was able to chat with her. In our case though my words were always twisted and what I thought was a good time of us just talking ended with her calling dh (then bf) and telling him all kinds of crazy stuff I had not said. The family also loves to hug and kiss upon arriving and leaving. I am not very comfortable with hugging (while I've gotten better- I don't generally prefer to hug folks I don't like) I am absolutely not comfortable kissing other people especially on the mouth. (as they all did). What I wish she would have done was just be herself but be respectful and give me grace to be myself. I wish she would have been willing to love me despite us being very different. And I wish she would have transitioned better and let her ds grow up and be responsible instead of insisting she had to run his life until he was 30yrs old. Oh well, a bag full of wishes! I have three sons and I can say I am grateful to have learned much about how I want to be as a MIL!

I have chronic migraines 3-5 per week. I have never had a migraine with a fever unless something else was going on. Sinus infection, flu etc. I do know it is very possible to be taking medication such as Tylenol or Excedrin and still run a fever. My youngest had seizures w/fever and no matter what meds he took he still ran a fever to the point of 104. I think you should get checked out to see if you have some type of infection. Especially with this weather lots of things are lingering as well as people are getting sick and catching new things back to back.

I didn't reply to your first post as I agreed with all the other responses you had gotten. I'm wondering if possibly something else surrounding finding activities for your child or something is contributing to your frustration and possibly making you more sensitive? I suggest that not only based on your first post but your follow up response. If you just want to hear people agree with you I'd make sure to place in the title of your thread JAWM. That way everyone is clear that your not really interested in any other perspectives and just looking to blow off steam. Even in this response it is still reasonable for them to not allow you to find someone else. All places have a deadline that if they don't have the expected minimum number they have to make a decision. The instructor is a person with a schedule and likely has a family of her own and may now need to find something else to fill in that income. I do tell my kids when we sign up for something and I absolutely tell them if the class is canceled. Disappointment is a part of life and something even young kids can understand and be okay with. People get sick, friends get grounded and have to cancel play dates, classes get canceled, life happens and as much as possible I want my kids to know that and be able to roll with it. I'm sorry your disappointed. Maybe you can use this is a teaching tool that yes sometimes things don't go as planned but then we look for other opportunities. Best of luck in finding another opportunity!

I am late to the party and just read the thread from the beginning. I was in such anticipation when I clicked on the 2nd page only to find out we still have no news??? This is CrAzY!!!

My MIL is narcissistic. It manifests itself with her being controlling, manipulative, acting very child like to try to get her way, lying and or embellishing events to make them fit her story causing much hurt and division. For 10 years we tried various methods to deal with her all under the idea of we have to find a way, we are told to honor our parents. We tried being overly cooperative and kind, we got frustrated and put up boundaries, we tried ignoring bad behavior and treatment, we tried talking to her kindly & in love and at times my husband was frustrated and he got angry with her. Over the course of the 10 years we have seen two family counselors. The first counselor my MIL liked until they saw her behavior and wanted to help her with it. She ditched that counselor and found another whose advice was all we needed was love and we could not work on things with my MIL if we weren't spending more time with her. We decided not to continue with that counselor-they had no realistic idea of what the situation was like. Lastly a 1 1/2 years ago we got counseling from our church Pastor. He helped us (most importantly my husband) see that my MIL was being very destructive in our lives and that it was his duty to leave & cleave and stand in honor for his family. (meaning me and out kids). He counseled my husband how to assert himself with his parents and but in heavy boundaries- we have no contact with them. My MIL & FIL met twice with our Pastor. Interestingly enough, our issues aside our Pastor saw in her what we deal with. She was aggressive jumping up during her meeting with him, expressing that she has never ever done anything that she could possibly have to say sorry -everything is done in love, and ultimately completely twisting her meeting with the Pastor. The letter also blamed the Pastor for keeping our families apart and said things were fine before he got involved. It got to the point that for his protection he could not meet with MIL & FIL privately any longer because of her lying about what he said. He advised them he would need to have another elder present going forward. We were not surprised that the Pastor received an email from MIL & FIL saying they do not wish you continue counseling with him but they will be pursuing a family counselor. Our pastor warned us that she is a great actor and will probably be able to convince many that her stories are true. I do believe many things can and should be tried before going to no contact. My MIL had no boundaries. During times of us not communicating with them she would go to the kids school to deliver private messages to them, She has and still does believe and verbally expresses it to everyone she knows that I have brainwashed her son and that he is not at fault for this I am. She had started involving the children and she always lied about it. We sheltered our kids from all that was going on which is making our time apart now very difficult as they just do not understand what went wrong. I have been called names, my dh aunts (who live out of state) have contacted my aunt and my best friend trying to see if they would "help me" realize the errors of my ways. My MIL finds great strength in numbers so we are often attacked by various family members. My dh says his mom was always this way and his father is completely passive. In the past dh has had many good conversations with FIL but it all changes once FIL goes home and talks to MIL. So to answer how we are dealing with the "honoring" her part. We have put in place healthy boundaries. At this time because she feels she has done nothing wrong and we are wrong we can not possibly work on things with her. The boundary is that we are not having any contact with her however if at any time she changes her mind she can contact our pastor to begin counseling with him again. We did extend a list of things that we could have done better and apologized for them. Even upon that they were firm everything they have ever done has been in love. The time when mil put her hands up towards my neck to choke me and I threatened to call the police didn't "feel" loving but we clearly have a different idea of love then they do. Despite the horrible last 10 years If she truly was sorry we would forgive her and move forward. To me that is a heart that is loving. I have also learned so much through this process. Getting outside help with our Pastor helped me tremendously. I questioned myself constantly to the point that I didn't know how to act around other people. Was I really as horrible as they say I was, was I not fun like they said, did I not smile enough like they said? I realized I had absorbed all the negative things they had said and I partly believed them. It took the Pastor seeing with his own experience that my MIL was aggressive, she spoke very ill of me and my parenting choices, she clearly expressed only wanting to reconcile with DH & grandkids, lying about things the Pastor did & said, and she was excessive with communication with the pastor expecting him to reply immediately to all her notes and or requests. Through the loss of my husbands entire extended family I've learned to never hear one side of a story and form judgement. I now know more than ever that their are two sides to every story and for me to have any input that is helpful I need to know the full story. Otherwise I remain pretty neutral on things. This has gotten far longer than I anticipated so I'll close with this. My heart breaks for anyone who has someone in their life who is a Narcissist. The hurt they cause and the self doubt they create in people is very real and can be hard for others to see since they can be so manipulating. My encouragement for those in this situation is to never make decisions out of guilt, protect yourself and your family, and to put boundaries in place that allow for healthy contact and if with all that they still find ways to to hurt & try to control then no contact may be needed. Our hearts break for not having them in our life but the "them" that we want in our life is a fallacy. We do have to except people for who they are, not who we desire them to be, and in our case we just can't allow the ugliness and hurtfulness to continue any longer. We would even settle knowing they despise me but if they could be civil -so far they cannot. We pray for them every day and we wait on the Lord now, it's in his timing. We feel a great sense of peace and are constantly amazed that our life has no more drama. My DH and I are beginning to love each other again and enjoying our time together and with our kids. Before the MIL took up all our time and energy. I pray for anyone who is dealing with this that you would find a path to give you peace. Blessings, Melissa

I think its a lovely and encouraging note that the young man will hold on to forever. Send it!

Lifting your family up in prayer. I am grateful that a doctor finally didn't blow you off and was willing to look into the problem. Hugs & Prayers! :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

I am so sorry. Praying for you and his family. I am sure had you known how serious things had gotten you would have done whatever you could to help. Now you have the opportunity to share memories with his family, mourn together and support each other. :grouphug:

I am somewhat surprised by this post as I was feeling like what is happening in our neighborhood was unusual. I could have wrote your post myself! We have frequent drop ins from neighbors and my biggest complaints are: they drop in around 3:00 and tell me they have to be home at 7:30. I think that's a LONG time for a neighbor visit that isn't prearranged....and while I get that the kid may not need dinner, we do! I think it's the kids manners that really irk me. So lets say I tell he child time to head home as we are going to eat....they may reply, "oh, good I'm hungry again I'll just stay" or "oh I don't have to be home until XYZ time to I'll just play while you eat". I do make them leave but had hoped they would have learned by now that when I say time to go, it really is time to go. I will say though that I prefer the kids to play at my house under my supervision. I have heard as others have mentioned of placing a sign on the door saying Homeschooling in process please do not knock or ring the bell. The neighbor kids new if the sign was hung not to bother knocking. I have also heard of the cleaning idea. If the child is dropped during a time that is chores absolutely say "it is chore time here so while your welcome to stay we'll all be doing chores, so did you want to help wash the windows or fold the laundry?" In one case this particular situation the visiting child jumped in and did the chores. It seemed as though she liked the structure and togetherness. I've found you must be specific with folks that aren't getting it. So if the mom pulls up to drop of the child. Have the child confirm with his mom that she'll be home. Consistency hasn't seemed to help here but I would think a good set of consistent rules should help shape the behavior of the kids coming all the time. So ex. Tuesdays and Thursdays we can't have playtime but other days your welcome to come by and see if the kids are free. I would first try talking with the child about expectations but if the situation doesn't improve then a chat with the mom (child interpreting) would be necessary. Best of luck to you!

My son is using it and it's a bust but we are pushing to finish. My biggest complaint is that it takes off points for his speed in answering a question. He is a slower processor so this may not be an issue for you. The program is supposed to adjust to how the child performs. So in our case my son is repeating lessons regularly that he knows because it scores him lower due to his speed.

Welcome! To add or change a Signature go under "My Settings" and you should see on the left hand side of the page options. One of which will say signature. Hope that helps! Enjoy the forum it is a wonderful place full of information!

Having married a man whose mom crossed into unhealthy boundaries this would greatly concern me for both the mom and child involved. DH mom and him never had a physically inappropriate relationship. However, emotionally all kinds of boundaries were crossed. DH was praised as a boy for being there for his mom, her emotional support and her best friend. I so wish someone would have spoke truth into his mother but I can say without a doubt it wouldn't have helped. I won't get into the details but I can say that it took a long time for him to really "see" what had happened (a counselor helped) and that he emotionally had filled a husbands role for over 10 years. It made moving out and our marriage extremely difficult. We are coming up on being married 11 years and I can say that things are finally starting to look normal in our marriage but we no longer have contact with his mother. She would be thrilled if we would divorce and her son would move back home and live with her and her dh who takes a backseat. This mom is crossing boundaries and creating an unhealthy environment for both her son and herself. She may or may not know any better. But these things usually progress in one way or another as the lines of right/wrong become blurry especially if any type of mental or emotional illness is involved. My MIL suffers from depression, anxiety and we suspect emotional deficits. Even if nothing physically inappropriate is happening I do believe emotionally they both are connecting in unhealthy ways. Although I absolutely think a 6 year old asking for and snuggling up to moms naked chest is inappropriate. And for the mom being so willing to share these type of details is very unusual. If she says anything else that you find alarming I would not shy away from it but engage the conversation with honest feedback. And I would not be comfortable with my kids playing with her son. It only takes one time of crossing a line and the damage is done. I'll be praying for wisdom for you as you decide how to proceed. I may consider having a very frank conversation with the mom about my concerns but you really have to trust your gut since you are seeing/hearing info first hand. I say better to error on the side of protecting a child and be wrong then find out that abuse was happening and you saw the warning signs and didn't report it.

I voted white but they both look lovely in the space!

I'm so very sorry for your loss! :grouphug: Praying for you and your family.

It sounds like you have a good plan to sit down with your sister and with that you can make sure you two are on the same page which will be so important. For grammar you could use FLL alone or it works nicely with WWE. Best of Luck!

I would suggest R&S or CLE math. We are loving CLE math after switching from MM.

We are doing it. DS 10 is home, ds 8 is at PS and ds 5 goes to the local special ed preschool 5X a week 1/2 day. My ds 8 gets on his bus at 7:30 and gets home at 2:30. My ds 5 gets picked up at 11:40 and dropped of at 3:30. With these different schedules I can say I find it challenging but doable. I personally can't wait until fall when ds 8 will join us in homeschooling! With my limited availability I have been unable to find any activities that fit for ds 10. The local co-ops require parents to stay on site (which I totally get) but I can't because I have to get ds 5 home to catch his bus. And afternoon classes don't work because around here they typically end at 3. So I feel very restricted in what I can do and field trips have to be done on the weekend since we don't have the time available on any one given day. My ds 8 does express disappointment that he's not included in the "fun" school things we may do at home. I'd say you should really look at your goals of what you want to accomplish this coming year both at home and anything extra such as classes, sports, personal things such as gym time, you get the idea. Then make up a week or two mock schedules to see what it would look like on paper. You know best what you can handle and what would clearly cause you to feel stressed. Best of luck!

Ugh, I was so hoping I had figured out what we'd do next BUT this Legends & Leagues stuff looks AMAZING! Hmmmm....I'm thinking I definitely need it!

I so want to try it but we are LOVING and doing great with R&S spelling!

We stock everything in the camper that would be normally kept at home. We have a travel trailer so we have ample storage for the most part. We even keep sets of clothes for everyone. I weeded through the kids closet for worn out jeans and faded shirts-things I would typically donate and made that our camping clothes. Any extra clothes I couldn't pull from our closets I was able to get cheap at Goodwill. The only thing we have to pack and bring along is the food for the trip. If you are limited on space this type of bowl is nice as it folds down flat. http://www.amazon.com/Bamboo-Silicone-Pop-Up-Travel-Colors/dp/B00251IQ12/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

We saw it Friday with our family and a neighbor boy. We loved it. In fact the neighbor boy we brought along had seen it once but loved it so much he wanted to come with us to see it again. I feel bad, at first I thought the "preview" some mentioned would have been Annie. I didn't pick up on the sensitivity in the movie for adopted children but as I've read some of the posts I can understand it now. The neighbor boy we brought with was adopted from China when he was 8 (he's now 10). He had already seen the movie with his parents and his also adopted from China sister. His family loved it. So I guess I'd say use your discretion and you know your kids best!

Praying your dh is willing to seek out appropriate help and soon. My only bit to add that I haven't seen mentioned is from my experience with many friends who have gone to the ER typically end up in a psych hold- and stay in the psych ward while they determine the mental state of the patient and if indeed they feel he is safe. It's possible it wont happen but could. I don't want to scare you at all with that, just letting you know it's a possibility that they would want to detain him. I do believe you must be an advocate for him during this difficult time and if he is truly uncooperative given the difficulty he is having than you'll have to step in as you see fit. Sometimes it helps to reverse the problem and think if that was me saying those things and caught in despair what would I want my husband to do for me? Praying that you will have strength and wisdom as you navigate the days ahead!

You have to be very careful with exfoliating or using anything to manually peel or scrub off the skin. Depending on the depth and strength of the peel you can do real damage as in infection or scarring. I've had a basic peel before (not deep or strong chemicals) and what your describing is what I experienced from days 4-6 after my peel. Aquaphor is great and you should be avoiding sun exposure while your skin is healing. Following the peel make sure to use a good sunscreen daily.

I would think the landlord needs to know. We had to add additional coverage to our home insurance policy specific to having a trampoline. Our rules...are similar to what many has stated. No more than two kids at a time, no climbing or walking around the outer ring, no throwing yourself into the net on purpose. Any roughhousing and your outta there! My personal concern has been kids using it while we are not home. Occasionally if my kids have been playing on the trampoline with neighborhood friends and we end up leaving to go somewhere and the neighborhood child will stay on the trampoline. I always check before we leave and tell the child that we are leaving and I won't be home to watch him and ensure he is safe so please he needs to head home now.