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DesertBlossom

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Everything posted by DesertBlossom

  1. I've been eating dairy free for nearly a month now, and it seems to be helping. The first few times he laid there calm and content it was a little shocking because he'd never done it before. He's still not an easy baby, but things are much improved. I never did make an appointment with a ped GI. I wanted to see how things went first. He is still a little grunty and in the evenings he can more fussy. I'm not sure if I should pursue the meds or if I should try cutting something else out. Thoughts? Bonus: I've lost 7 pounds!
  2. This is definitely true. Though I can't help but think that MIL would be horrified if someone pointed out that her continuous talking has this effect on people. I'm not sure she could do anything to change it. But I think she would want to be someone who others could talk to without her constantly interrupting. I don't want to be the one to point that out to her though.
  3. I don't know if this really goes along with what you're saying, but it made me think of it. A good friend said that her husband mentioned that when he was having a hard time loving her, he would do service for her. At first she was like "when you have a hard time loving me?" 😉 But honestly who doesn't have a hard time loving their spouse now and then? I think it's true that it's hard not to like or love someone when you are helping them. Even if it's a "fake it till you make it" kind of situation. It can turn that glass on the counter situation into an act of love instead of an opportunity for contempt.
  4. During her last visit we were up in the mountains. The only cell phone reception required walking down the road a ways. I checked my text messages regularly just as an excuse to get out.
  5. Thank you for all the replies. I feel better knowing I'm not the only one with an Endless Talker in my life. Our relationship started out great and I have felt guilty at the way my feelings towards her have deteriorated over the years. It's only been recently that I've been able to articulate how and why it bothered me so much. Being able to identify myself as an introvert has explained a lot as well. The last few times we've talked on the phone at the end she's asked "Is there anything you'd like to share with me?" I couldn't help but think to myself "that ship sailed long ago." But I feel bad that while she's actually reaching out, I have all but given up on being able to talk to her. In our last conversation she asked a specific question about DS's schooling, which I answered. She chuckled about being nosy. But I don't mind answering her questions. But when she spent the next 15 minutes talking about nephew's school problems I regretted saying anything at all. It's just draining. And while I am at a point where I want to have a better relationship with her, I don't know how or if it's even possible.
  6. Don't quote. I feel bad even typing this out because MIL is a genuinely good person. She's kind and helpful, is very careful about not overstepping boundaries, is non-judgmental, etc. But I just can't stand to be around her. I feel like a punk-faced jerk saying that. But there it is. She talks too much. She narrates for herself as she does things around the house. She remembers (and shares) every detail about everything that has ever happened, and can seamlessly weave semi-related tangents into her stories making them, literally, never-ending. In her desire to be part of every conversation around her, she has a tendency to answer my children when they come to talk to ME. I find myself whispering to my kids, or waiting until we're in another room to talk to them. She also repeats anything semi-adorable or interesting that people say, so it's like an echo in the room. She does this even when she's not a part of the conversation, which is incredibly annoying. She talked at me on the phone for 90 minutes, and I probably talked for 2-3 minutes of that. Some of the things she shares are things I'd like to know-- like FIL's upcoming surgery. But I don't need to know the details of the conversation she had with insurance or about their friend's recovery from the same surgery. You know? She asked about us. I told her how baby has been fussy and then she spent 10 minutes telling me about every person she knows who was a fussy baby too. It makes me not want to share any details about my life, because it will remind her of a story that I'll spend the next 15 minutes hearing about and then I also get frustrated because she appears to care more about her own story than anything I have to say. When she narrates for herself I feel like I'm supposed to be interacting somehow because I try to have good manners. But I don't want to be engaged ALL.THE.TIME. So I ignore her. But I feel bad because who else is she talking to? When she's telling a story, I can walk out of the room and shut the door behind me to give myself some brain space. And as soon as I'm back in the room she picks up where she left off. Now, I'm grateful I haven't offended her, but she definitely does not pick up on any of those social cues. Like if I say, "Oh, I've heard that story before" she'll tell it again anyway, with just as much detail. She will make comments about "talking my ear off" but she doesn't really get it. I feel bad that I can't/won't share anything about me or my family with her because a) it'll remind her of a story and b) she's likely to tell my story to random strangers too and that makes me really uncomfortable. I'm an introvert. I like my quiet space. I like to live inside my head sometimes. And if she's around, I can't. Now, I know the answer is probably to get over it, because she is who she is. It's not my job to change her. I see her once a year and only talk a few times a year on the phone. But within minutes of seeing or hearing her, I already want to walk away. I would like to have a better relationship with her, I just can't. She wants to come visit and I could genuinely use some help right now, but the thought of her coming is really stressing me out. I have considered addressing some of the issues-- like asking her to please not answer my children for me and to please quit echoing what people say. But I really suck at confrontation and I'm worried that I'll either not express myself well or that I'll say it in anger and hurt her feelings. This is mostly just a vent. But some help and advice would be appreciated. She is a good woman so feeling this way makes me feel like a jerk.
  7. Am I the only one whose curious what the wife's opinion on all this is?
  8. There is nothing wrong with teaching family members to pick up after themselves. And a spouse should be able to express their feelings (calmly and respectfully) over having to clean up after someone else. However, when someone decides that they are being disrespected or unloved because someone doesn't share their exact same views on hoe something should be done, it becomes problematic. There are some things that are inherently disrepectful, but leaving a glass by the sink isn't one of them.
  9. I think is exactly why this article bugged me so much. I'm not very good about picking up after myself. Add in 6 six children in under 10 years, and I constantly feel like I'm behind on everything. It's a never-ending race I can't win. If I also had somebody chewing my a$$ out because something wasn't done just so, I'd give up completely. The fact that DH doesn't complain and just loves me anyway is the reason I keep trying.
  10. ITA. But I also think feeling disrepected by a dirty glass by the sink is a little anal. You've got to pick your battles a little more carefully than that.
  11. I agree with the premise of the article, but I dislike the example of the glass. I mean, really? Maybe it's because I personally could not ever get upset over a glass by the sink, but it seems like a really petty thing for anyone to get upset over. Some of his other examples were better, like not walking over a freshly mopped floor. 😄 But I know that I have enough of my own quirks and flaws that I don't have any space to get offended over a glass by the sink. I wonder how many little things I do that aren't the way DH would do it, but he never mentions it or gets offended because he's a nice guy like that. Instead of getting annoyed at the little things my husband does that could annoy me, I look at the little things he does to show me that he loves me... like filling my car with gas when he notices it's low. 😉 The sexiest thing my DH has ever said to me was "I assume you're doing the best you can." (I had told him I was glad he didn't get upset when the house was a mess or dinner wasn't ready) I try to treat him with the same level of respect. He's a really busy guy, but he works hard and takes good care of us, so I'm not going to get my panties in a wad because sometimes he doesn't do things like I expect him to.
  12. We listened to the audio book and I remember being horrified at the suicide attempt. I nearly turned it off. We just listened to A Series of Unfortunate Events. CREEPY! When Count Olaf said he was going to take his teenage bride home for their wedding night I threw up a little in my mouth. I hated that book.
  13. Someone else mentioned a double stroller. I loved our Instep double jogger. It fit through most doors and maneuvered so well. While babywearing is nice, it's also nice to not have a baby on you while trying to help another big baby. I ended up with 3 under 3. And then #4 was born when my oldest was 4.5. Those were some crazy years!
  14. My first 2 are 12 months apart. (The rumor about not getting pg when breastfeeding is false!) It was a blur. The 2nd pregnancy was hard because I had this big baby to carry around. I agree with others who say simplify. You're going to spend a lot of time on the floor playing with babies. Enjoy it while it lasts.
  15. I saw an article that said the "smoking gun" was the bullet found with her DNA. I was boggled by that. Considering the lack of blood all over the garage and the fact that BA's "testimony" was spoon fed to him (Who shot her in the head?) The bullet just looks like another piece of planted evidence.
  16. I definitely don't think the police did it either. If they had, they probably could have done a better job framing him.
  17. This is what I think. And it's a shame too because if SA really did kill her, but the police were planting evidence to make sure he was convicted, then there's a chance his conviction could be overturned if they can prove the police screwed up.
  18. Oh for goodness sake. Sometimes kids do really stupid things. My friends I was referring to are actually very kind, empathetic and generous people. That's not to say hurting animals isn't a giant red flag, especially in combination with other things. But a one time thing is not enough brand someone as evil. I didn't mean to derail the thread. In the case of SA it does sound like he may be somewhat dysfunctional. But killing a cat also doesn't make him capable of murder. Maybe he is. But maybe he isn't
  19. A couple of my childhood friends put a bird in a microwave. They are now functional, highly educated individuals.
  20. Ugh. It seems that there was so much wrong with the whole case. I hate to say it, but I would rather see a guilty man go free than an innocent man get locked up. Was it in the documentary where someone pretty much said that if SA hadn't been let free from jail for the rape than he wouldn't have been able to commit the murder? Did I hear that right? That just blows my mind. While it's horrible that TH was murdered, it's not okay that an innocent man was in jail. That line of thinking lends itself to the idea that we should/could lock up people who *might* commit crimes. It's not the job of the criminal justice system to try to prevent crimes. And it seems that's almost the reasoning they people had- they felt SA was no good scum who was better off lockdd up even if he wasn't guilty of this particular crime.
  21. Dassey says he helped Avery move the car and that's how the DNA got under the hood? We didn't get to watch that part of his confession, but at this point I have a hard time believing he wasn't manipulated into saying that as well. The other evidence is interesting though.
  22. When his mom asked how he could have come up with all those details if they weren't true he said "I guessed." He really was just saying what he thought they wanted to hear. And then to hear him say he was stupid was really sad.
  23. I am only 3 episodes in, but I feel so bad for Brendan. From the recordings, it seems like he just had no idea what was going on.
  24. After doing some more reading last night, I will try eliminating dairy. (Even though I really need to be able to mindlessly feed myself... sigh) One website I was reading even mentioned avoiding deli meats because the same machines also slice cheese. Is it really necessary to be that vigilant?
  25. At the time, no he wasn't. He does like being swaddled. I usually only swaddle him when I am trying to get him to sleep though.
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