They sell fitted vinyl tablecloths as well.

I love gas. It's much easier to use and you can really only fry an egg properly on a gas stove in my opinion. I think you can even get a gas leak detector if you're worried about it--with small kids in the house I would do that.

"and you can afford your own apartment doing it, go for it." Well, some fields have no upward mobility which is my issue with the area that I chose. What if the kid wants to have children some day? Get married? Nobody will be by their side as they teach pre-school saying, "Society is here with a comprehensive plan to ensure that you can work full time and afford to have a child with whom your spouse stays home for six months, and then go back to work to make money that will not be insufficient to cover the cost of quality day care!" Instead, they will realize that with just one baby and a SAHM on their shoulders, they qualify for public assistance, only not cash for daycare, but like, free low quality cheesefood. That is not a fun place to be at 32, you know? I know a man who writes grants for non-profits. He is great at it, but when his wife got pregnant, they realized that any scenario, from day care to staying at home, would put them at just 200% of the poverty level, NOT a fun place to be in Seattle which has an extremely high COLA. So just being able to pay rent... I dunno. I try to show my kids my own mistakes. My step kids aren't so stupid to have chosen nonprofit or charity work or public service in the first place, but my own children may need more guidance. I've always been able to pay for an apartment. But paying for the children is a whole other ballgame.

Well in hindsight there are a lot of states that start with "O"... Whenever I look up stuff regarding UW, you know... the ONLY UW, certainly nothing having to do with higher education in Wisconsin, Google frequently disappoints.

We use all kinds of vague terms. I have no problem with "that's pretty" so why with "that's stupid"? I agree that you shouldn't accuse others of being stupid. Actions are stupid. People are not stupid. People might have a hard time making good choices, but I don't like labeling people. But I think a lot of things are stupid. For example, the Maginot Line was stupid. Idiotic. Moronic. Calling it "a poor choice" really does not adequately describe how bad it was. Strategically inadequate? Also an understatement. I think in that case, "stupid" is probably the best possible word to use. Also--pointing out that someone with a very low IQ is making a choice that others find stupid is really rude. It's like telling someone without legs they are not keeping up with the group. "Why are you so slow?" is not helpful.

Hot with coffee, cold with alcohol. I make my own for the holiday, but I will buy Starbucks eggnog lattes. :) ETA: for the first time ever, it occurred to me that I could actually have eggnog, coffee, and alcohol in the same drink, like coffee and Baileys. I think that would still have to be hot. And come to think of it, I've had it warmed with alcohol, too. So I guess I'm coming down on the side of hot.

Yes, I hear the words in my head. When I'm absorbed in reading I hear those words louder than sounds that come from outside my head. Like Twigs, I can see words when I hear them. The opposite of woman appears almost in front of my eyes, but behind them--in clear print, Times New Roman, black on white, and I hear it. The brain is indeed fascinating. I, too, wish your husband the best of luck in his recovery.

FYI to all the STEM people: the biotech industry treats its people like crap. I know three unemployed biotech PhDs.

I use Neutrogena products as an adult. There are a lot of additives and I'm not sure I'd use it as a first resort. Some Neutrogena products work well on me but others make me break out. One works well on my face but I have noticed that it is causing problems on my neck and where it rinses down, because that skin is different. (That is the Neutrogena grapefruit face scrub, just for your reference.) You don't mention anything you have tried up to this point. Rough skin on the cheeks and earlobes is a bit unusual but rough skin is not--have you tried Vaseline? Neutrogena Norwegian formula moisturizer? I'd have no hesitation trying that on a small child but on a pre-teen there is the oil/hormonal issue that you talk about. More info on what has been tried, other than the milk free diet, would be helpful.

Thank you for your comment. That is precisely why I asked if I'm missing something. Challenge worksheets are assigned at our school as soon as the child has finished her work. My daughter gets them daily. Re: Singapore: Wow, he really does a trick there, doesn't he? We have the "real" Singapore for my second daughter--she is doing 1A, it's not much of a challenge mathematically but her reading is slow so it's hard to get her to the more advanced word problems: http://www.singaporemath.com/Primary_Mathematics_US_Ed_s/39.htm He uses the numbering they use. I feel duped, though I will say that was after a couple glasses of wine. Thank you for noticing and pointing that out. They don't take them through the final steps of the proof in that one, no, but it is still more conceptual than anything I have seen in Saxon. I mean--that's not a 5th grade proof, more like advanced 7th grade. The purpose is to start kids on a journey of exploration. My point is just that in terms of Singapore being the only conceptual math, I really think that there is a lot to be said for many programs. I think that accelerated learning board hosts such as this one will collect those individuals who truly are the one in ten thousand or one in one hundred thousand who literally do not need practice. I get that--because the parents reach out. Just like you see lots of parents of ADD kids in certain places on the Internet. And I don't want to deny their experience at all because it's a valid experience and we all benefit from such people existing on the earth to do things like figure out how to get us to the moon. But for the vast, vast majority of children--which would be like, 90% of the nation's gifted program learners, not to mention kids of the same ability overseas--they really do benefit from practice. There is only so high you can go with no practice, no challenge. Not saying such kids don't exist--I left that caveat in my first post--but they are so rare as to be almost in a different conversation entirely. I guess I would never consider even having to go through a program with them. Like I used to read my mom's psychology and history college textbooks when I was in fourth grade and found the end-of-chapter quizzes easy. Now, those are EASY texts, and suffice it to say I wasn't doing her statistics in the fourth grade. But if I had a kid who was that gifted, I'd go straight for the college texts. Why not? College texts are accelerated conceptually. Save time and money and give them a math book for a Christmas present.

First and foremost, congratulations to your son. It sounds like he really is truly exceptional and one of the type of people who would fit into the "tiny, tiny, tiny minority" about which I spoke earlier. That said, the Math Olympiad is not the highest level of math. I am talking about university laboratory level math. For that level, it is quite a different story.

"Nobody has claimed any point of fact or accused him of anything." I guess insinuated would be a better word. Talking about things parallel to depression--adultery, workaholism--that is really beside the point, to my mind. I hear what you are saying and I'm not arguing that she should not take care of herself. Absolutely she should. What I object to is the tone throughout the thread that somehow, this guy's depression "may be really something else". Sure, it MIGHT. But really? Who says something like that? I've been on both sides of the coin and I can't say that in either case, setting an ultimatum for ending my depression or his would have helped at all. (Though, getting a job--I'm for everyone getting a job, that always helps.)

I studied higher math and I liked Saxon and yes. It saved math for me. However, people have said it has changed; so that was for what they had in the 1990s. ETA--I just looked up Singapore for third grade. It is the same stuff, with more problems per page and less concept work, than my daughter is getting in SECOND GRADE in her public school--public school, in the US--math book. This is not the gifted program. Am I looking at the wrong thing? http://www.amazon.com/Singapore-Math-Practice-Level-Grade/dp/0768240026#reader_0768240026 http://www.amazon.com/Singapore-Math-Practice-Level-Grade/dp/0768239923/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1416123394&sr=1-1&keywords=singapore+math+grade+3+2a#reader_0768239923 LOL. They did thousands, hundreds, tens and ones with the public school books last year. This year, they are moving to multiplication and division. And again--this is second grade. For pete's sake, people are pulling their "mathy" kids out of public schools for this? What? Here is Houghton Mifflin--now I'm not trying to sell this because I have plenty of issues with their textbooks-- for 2nd grade: http://www.eduplace.com/math/mw/minv/3/minv_3c2.html Now THAT is conceptual. My stepson's big challenge starting fifth grade was multiplying three digit numbers together--well, it took him a bit to remember it. He had to complete 15 problems and then explain why two were wrong. And again, we are talking public school. Here is the start of Singapore: http://www.amazon.com/Singapore-Math-Practice-Level-Grade/dp/076823994X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1416123549&sr=1-1&keywords=singapore+math+fifth+grade#reader_076823994X Uh... am I missing something? Is fifth grade actually fourth grade in that system? How could "mathy" kids possibly be challenged by this? Start of Houghton Mifflin for 5th grade: http://www.eduplace.com/math/mthexp/g5/challenge/pdf/cm_g5_1_1.pdf http://www.eduplace.com/math/mthexp/g5/challenge/pdf/cm_g5_1_7.pdf (<- Seriously, if your kid loves math, check this public school math out--they will love it. Also, as someone who has completed upper-level math courses, this kind of proof is very useful in linear algebra.) That's public school. Yep, good old uncle sam contracting to one of the most popular math textbooks in the United States. Here is Saxon: http://www.kgbsd.org/Page/2970 Still more conceptual than the Singapore example I found although I will say that my daughters general education, non-gifted class of learners have learned even from odd based on the last digit in the FIRST GRADE because it is really just not that complicated, so uh... wow. So I guess if you want conceptual, go to public school? The idea that "mathy" people would not enjoy the worksheets from any program is like saying that a musical child couldn't enjoy arpeggios over and over and over and over. Sure, you like challenge, but it's also fun to practice.

Maybe he feels it is better for his family without him. Maybe he feels that the best thing for them is money, but not his personality or his thoughts or dreams. Maybe he feels worthless but recognizes that they need money to survive and just hides in that, just depends on that one thought to keep going: "At least they have this house. At least they have the insurance." If he's really depressed, and not, as some have seemed to claim, and adulterer seeking to blame his detachment on depression, then I think that there are a LOT of reasons that he might detach and try to get away from things. We hardly know anything about him or his life or his mental state or his internal struggle! And some accuse him of being selfish and an adulterer. Men can have feelings which are not related to poking into some other lady! Deliberately emphasized because I really think this thread seems to assume that he couldn't be feeling truly, existentially hopeless. I for one do not think depression and suicidal thoughts are "selfish". You truly feel, when depressed, you believe, that your life is worth nothing in the greater scheme of things, and that really your family would be better off without you. Maybe you all can't imagine that line of thinking but I can, and it's such a horrible place to be. Of course nobody's said, "Watch out for his purchase of a comprehensive life insurance policy." Nobody's said, "Keep the gun locked--maybe change the combo." Nobody's said, depression is an illness and you don't leave a man with an illness. Instead people are saying keep him away from other women. I was with a cheater. I know it happens. But why cast aspersion on a man just because he's feeling hopeless? http://www.lawyerswithdepression.com/articles/overworkunderwork-two-sides-to-male-depression/ I just feel bad for this guy. The numbness, the fear of hope... it's really such a hard place to be. You can't be around your family without crying, so you can't be around them. (That said, I agree that he is vulnerable to an affair at this point in his life--but that's not the same as saying that is one of the main problems she needs to deal with.)

Having learned two languages as a young adult, I agree with this completely. I have never learned a language without immersion. Even with immersion, without studying two hours per night, I didn't achieve anything more than "home / market" fluency--i.e. as long as we talked about the meal, the weather, or the price, I was "fluent" but otherwise my vocabulary was limited. I can discuss science and literature in two languages, I can listen and read in one more, and I can read in one more. The language in which I am fluent, I lived overseas in that environment for five years, in two consecutive chunks, in a work environment in which my paycheck depended on speaking that language. If you can hold a conversation after two years of study you are doing AMAZINGLY well. Keep it up. Someday there will be time for a vacation in Japan and you will make leaps and bounds there--and you will be glad for the foundation. Also, I know Soviets who studied English for decades without ever speaking to a native speaker. They were able to hold intelligent, long, meaningful conversations with me after just a few times getting used to my accent. So it IS possible.

Re: Heigh Ho's post: I am convinced that NY and FL must be some of the most corrupt places in the entire United States. You can't just "retire" for college--you'd have to have kids no earlier than 47 for this to work for the first year. You can't just take out retirement like that. You'd have to quit, and take a penalty on requirement because you're supposed to stick it out until the end to get that fancy pension (note: that is sarcasm. It's not fancy at all.) Nobody in our office who is eligible for retirement has children in college. All their children are grown, at least 30, many of them my age (35+). Because they are 65, right? So even the men, if they had their kids at 45, they would still not be able to retire until halfway through college. I get it, some people wait until they are 9/10ths of the way to being totally infertile to have kids. But is that really the majority? Also, the state workers I know who are 65 don't have huge pensions. Stable pensions, but not big pensions. They try to work as long as they can. They all tried to help with college but most of their children also worked and went to state colleges. That makes me so sad.

Crock pot was the only thing that worked for me, too.

If you buy it, do it for the grandkids in the future--you can pass it down. For that, $75 is cheap. Otherwise, make one out of cardboard. Lots of fun.

You know I think this is what I need to do with DD1 as well. What are R+S criteria?

I am very happy for you. :)

If it makes you feel any better, I can't find jeans that fit me either and I'm not exactly size 12. I think they just make the less expensive jeans ugly on purpose so that they can charge exorbitant prices for anything that looks remotely decent on anyone.

I would just go and live the life I wanted. Before my divorce, that's what I did and it really made a difference. I don't think it's inappropriate, provided she is not going out with men, of course. He will hit bottom and I wouldn't leave him if he's still working and committed and not like, yelling at her or somthing. Though she should be warned--the deadness is protection against anger, which is protection against fear. He will get "worse" before he gets better. First you feel afraid (medical issues, bills, why aren't I getting ahead, what if I lose my job, oh my God it will be the end, a man can't support his family, what kind of a man is that, men feel that you know), then you turn it off with anger, then you get sick of that and turn it all off. To turn it back on you have to go back through to address the fear. For a lot of us, it's a fear that we will not achieve what we were told we had to in life--supporting our families and having financial security. I know in my case, I felt that I'd done everything "right" and worked very hard. The prospect of financial insecurity--being "a taker", being a loser, all kinds of things, just not supporting my family which I felt would by totally my fault because after all, if people take credit when they are successful, shouldn't I take blame when I fail? This was terrifying for me. I had never failed at anything. I was always able to overcome everything through hard work and intelligence. The idea that I could lose everything was petrifying. It meant that in spite of working hard my whole life, I might still be a failure. They say that if you work hard you can have some security, but I didn't have security, so what had I done wrong? I just could not deal with that. It is still hard to deal with, frankly. I waver between anger at the world for lying to me--asking me to work so hard and not giving me any level of security in return, though I have been gainfully employed for over 20 years now and actually work in management--and anger at myself--"How could you have screwed this up?!? You wasted 20 years on basic needs! Some people used that that time to get rich, but you somehow wasted your talent. Top of your class... but bottom of the pyramid. Way to go." So if this guy is working all the time, but not able to save, falling behind... yeah, I can see how that would be depressing and empty. You feel like a total failure. Working makes you feel better because you feel like (a) you don't have to believe the world has royally screwed you over (safety from anger) and ( b ) that you are making progress towards a solution (reducing fear). You feel like, "Well I might not have gotten where I planned but I will do it. I won't get angry at the world, and I won't be afraid or a victim. I will work." Life nowadays is very, very insecure. It's unfair to say he should get treatment or she should leave. Treatment for depression is extremely painful. Telling yourself that the deadness is not inevitable is to face horrible feelings of fear and anger and also uncertainty. Right now he is safe. Nobody can hurt him. Nobody, not God, not his wife, NOBODY. If he gets treatment, he has to face all that--why did we work so hard but not achieve what our parents achieved? We remember them eating dinner with the family... getting bonuses... were we lazy? There's fear. If work doesn't solve things, then what does? Could it really be out of our control whether our family ends up on the street? I don't know if she should get a job. To him that might seem like he's already failed. He probably doesn't realize that he hasn't hit bottom yet. But I do think she should keep the option open. Maybe this guy is depressed about something else. But knowing what I know about a lot of people my age, depression about feelings of failure and hopelessness are not uncommon. Two years of depression is not a long time. He needs another man to stand by his side, not just a counselor. A man who can validate who he is without judgment while he goes through counseling. It is not an easy time to support a family all by your lonesome. We are a two-income family with no health issues (knock on wood) and we struggle.

I'm afraid to introduce my children do these. I am hoping they just find it on the shelves or the Internet and never realize I was into it. I don't know that my kids would love something I loved. They think we were total nerds. My sister and I watched on late night TV... I guess I was hoping my kids would find references to it, Google it on YouTube, and somehow learn to enjoy it. Otherwise they'll just think it's something stupid mom likes.

I would say it is specific to the country. Looking up Belize it looks like it's fairly nice but has inequality and a very high murder rate. I've been to Asia / South and East Europe, not South America, and we have different risks as we blend in with, uh, all the brown people. :) Whatever you do, bring a ton of baby wipes.

I wouldn't bother--everyone I know who read at three taught themselves and just went from there. I'd just keep lots of books around and just read with her. She'll probably be off and running in no time. Early readers are often either precocious--early bloomers--or good decoders. Lucky her, it's a pain in the butt learning to read if you don't like breaking other people's codes!