It’s complicated. I sometimes question if it will make any difference. Other times I think I will prevent further damage or overturn the current custody arrangement. You are right. I guess I sometimes feel like there’s no where to go but up. This is not a standard parent evaluation. This is a very specific type of evaluation that takes several sessions. Most people don’t know of it or how to do it. https://youtu.be/pI3MfThrZoU Something dd said to me recently got in my head. The way dad is narrating an incident that happened when she was too young to remember it. I gave a more neutral telling of the story. She is very perceptive. She’s noticing the stonewalling dad does (described in her own words). I didn’t use the term with her. Ds may never see the good in me without external factors but even then it will probably only come with time and not from court orders.

So I just called this guy and felt like I got scolded. He said it was not kosher for me to call him and that only lawyers should talk to him and that he only will help in court-ordered circumstances and wouldn't refer/recommend anyone else because it's such a hot button thing and people can risk losing their license. They need all parties on board blah blah blah. I said well I didn't know... I was following recommendations by a psychologist I've been following... I don't recall him saying that it needed to be court ordered etc. He explained that unless it's court ordered, usually one parent will refuse to participate or refuse to let a psychologist speak to their children. Which makes sense. I get it now. But yeesh. He talked to me like I walked in his office naked.

They offer something called "workforce" around here. It's affiliated with the college somehow, but maybe not part of the normal programming? I've seen electrical and welding offered. I know they have an auto class on campus, too. So maybe he could call a couple community colleges and just ask what they offer or get a free catalog? Maybe even just browsing their websites would be useful. I don't know if you have to take academic courses side by side with the trades.

Attorney sent letter today. I asked for a copy and it was well done. I'm 0/2 on finding a mental health professional that will evaluate for "parental alienation" or pathogenic parenting. Even though I offered materials on the topic to both.

I called the only number I had for ADA (different county) and asked them if they could redirect me to the right contact for my area. They gave me the number for the Disability Rights of MS. They took down my info and said someone in charge will call me back at a certain date/time next week. But they didn’t know it they could help me because I’m not disabled… I said but it affects others and at the very least they need signage. I hope they take this seriously. The first guy I spoke to sounded agreeable. I said I think they are being lazy and don’t want to fix the building. He said it doesn’t matter that they want, it’s against the law. I hope the woman I speak with has the same attitude.

I am trying to finish a Udemy course quickly (I got a preliminary call about a job so I'm trying to mentally prepare if I get an interview. The course is very helpful) so I watched it on the TV while I rode the bike this morning for 35 min. Then I really wanted some fresh air so I went outside but didn't walk long because of work. I never know if my phone will start blowing up or I need to begin something at 8. The course says it's 15 sections long with quizzes along the way. I've finished two sections and done a quiz, but there's a lot more time left. I wore sweat pants, a sweatshirt, and gloves today. My nose started running so I guess I need to bring tissue next time. Last night I didn't get any more exercise in, but my overall step count for the day was good. I was upset I didn't drop any weight. I know diet is 80%, but I think I've been eating well overall. I didn't actually read the calorie count on the tortilla soup so maybe it was more than I thought, but worth it. I don't want to agonize over calories; I haven't counted them in weeks. I just try to eat better foods overall and exercise more. Last night I painted primer around the windows. I want to get the painting finished up within the next couple days. After I finish that area I'll know if I have enough left over paint to do a second coat on the outside table I started to paint. I stopped painting the table for fear I'd run out of paint for inside. I'm trying to stretch the rest of the can.

I don't think the two thoughts are mutually exclusive. I think yes, it's possible having gone to other funerals might make a funeral experience less daunting. But, no, I don't think you are ever really prepared for certain deaths. Not every funeral I've attended has been for a relative (a few parishioners and a wake for a former classmate). Obviously those are not the same level of intensity. Edited to add: regarding the somber funerals mentioned earlier in this thread -- the Catholic funerals I have attended were all somber and they took place in California and Mississippi.

When I was a kid my dad had one in the garage. I’d see him hanging on it. I don’t think I ever heard of them in media etc til many years later and didn’t know the name. My dad always has some weird device lol he lent me a chi machine I need to use. It helps oxygen flow.

Oh yeah. Sorry. I wasn’t thinking. My point was to say even if the OP didn’t have a service she might be stuck with all these other fees. My dad was in the military so my mom was buried at a military base and they covered certain fees (I think plot and headstone).

Adding up the costs you mentioned, it's still well under 10k. I wouldn't take that comment too much to heart. I was disgusted by the prices of the sprays when I met with the funeral director with my dad to discuss my mom's arrangements. Apparently the huge spray that laid on her casket was like $1000. I was like is this normal?! In the end my dad basically just said something along the lines of it costs what it costs. Once you're in the thick of it you just feel trapped. You do what you need to get it done. It's a time-sensitive situation. And an emotionally draining period of time. No one should beat themselves up over whatever choices they make. It sounds like it was a lovely service.

Agree. Sorry that happened with your dad's funeral. My devout Catholic grandma on my mom's side didn't get a Catholic funeral... and her spouse that was not Catholic/didn't attend any church got one. Neither of them would have asked for what they got. I thought it was so stupid. It bothered me. I don't get why it was done the way it was, I'm sure there was some justification... but it didn't make sense to me.

I don't think people like funerals, in general. I was once told a funeral is for the grieving family/friends. Like, it's about comforting/commiserating with the immediate family. So that's kind of how I look at the more these days. I'm not sure how much the funeral service fees are, but I thought the main fees were from the casket and flowers... which I would think you would have even if you didn't have a formal funeral. Or the cost of cremation. You'd still have that cost, right?

@Harriet Vane if you hate the tilt board, maybe it's not for you. Maybe there are other methods? Have you tried using a roller? Some look better than others. I don't know if that would address the same things in the back, though. The sign to the park wasn't exactly wrong so much as confusing because it lacks a second sign to tell you to turn down a side street... which I didn't even notice the first day. It has no street sign. They really ought to put a street sign and "park this way" sign there. I walked to the park and used the walking trail. Two other ladies arrived. A couple people have suggested I carry a stick for stray dogs, which I know is good in theory but also sounds miserable. I don't want to have to walk with a stick lol. I already am carrying my thermos in one hand. A dog did start to approach her at the track and she tapped the stick and pointed it toward the dog. The dog decided to go away. Had it been me, I probably would have tried to befriend the dog (lol). It actually didn't look scary to me. But I know you can't do that with all dogs. There was one that was aggressively barking at me a few days ago but it was on a chain or leash in its driveway and the owner came out and told it to knock it off. I joked to myself I'd rather carry a dog treat in my pocket than a whole stick. But I know you shouldn't randomly feed people's dogs, either or rely on that as a deterrent for a crazy dog. 6k steps done this morning. That's good for me. Hope to do more exercise later. Oh regarding the weather... I'm in Mississippi so the drop in temp has made going outside possible. It was just too hot before. It was actually a little cooler than I would have liked but I would take this over the heat and humidity. My finger tips were cold. I might wear a hoodie and/or gloves next time.

I found the EOB online from my recent tailbone X-ray and am happy to report ins covered almost everything. I owe them $25 for the copay and $9 for X-ray. They didn’t take copay day of visit because they had just shut down their machine and told me to just wait for a bill. So I’ll call Monday and see if I can just pay the $34 over the phone. I’m still waiting on final bill for ds’ accident that happened several weeks ago. Insurance hasn’t been reflected on the EOB. Xh is waiting for the final totals, then we split 50/50. I signed up for a Udemy course this week for $20 (to help my resumé/skills). It seems well worth the money/investment in myself. I’m job hunting for something higher paying. Dropped off 2 children’s jeans at consignment the other day. They took one pair and I got a whopping $2.55. I hardly bother but I needed to run an errand nearby anyway. Returned the boots that didn’t fit dd. Regarding off setting costs - @historically accuratedo you have any subscriptions you can pause? Netflix etc?

A $70 difference??? I would go inside and explain you want them to re-ring it up with the Rx coupon and see if they will honor it.

My feet are aching. We stood the whole time. The shifts are short, but it’s just too rough on my body. I was there like 2-5:30. They ran out of pretzels and that’s all I wanted. Why don’t they order more?? I was told they sell out fast. I couldn’t remember if volunteers got a free meal but they get free drink coupons so I redeemed for 2 waters and tried to stay hydrated. I don’t know why I get tired so easily. I’m in bed already. My pedometer says I’m a few steps away from 10k. I’ve been watching Udemy courses on the TV (air cast from my app) but I’m too exhausted to watch much. Im looking into getting certificates (SEO and Adobe) when I’m done but that’s another step. I found the testing facility online but have to call for pricing. It will probably be several weeks before I get that far.

@Jenny in Florida I hope you can avoid the vertigo or low blood sugar and hurricane. @Ali in OR that sounds hard. I’m glad everyone is doing well to meet your dd’s needs. @Harriet Vane I’m glad you got some relief and hope you continue to. Hope the car ride is manageable @Soror yes periods can be annoying with their timing ugh @wintermom glad you got nice weather for tennis. @hshibley indoor pool? I haven’t had much exercise routine but other things have taken priority and I’m still trying to balance it all. I’m down 25 lbs total and wore a top to church I haven’t worn in forever (it’s snug). My waist and love handles aren’t ideal yet but I’ll get there. Slacks I wore today fit better and the ones I bought in May (bigger size) are kinda too big. I went on a walk early this morning before church. This afternoon I’m helping at German Fest for a few hours but it sounds like it’s going to storm so I don’t know what will happen. I donated a Sandkuchen (German pound cake). I guess I won’t get to buy a slice since they decided to sell it whole. Dd and I found the park and at one point it had an operational splash pad. I need to call the city and find out if they plan to repair it. The park had outdoor exercise equipment. I couldn’t figure out one of them. Looked ot it was just to stretch your back?? It didn’t actually move. There were 3 platforms of exercise equipment. The one that I thought was a rowing machine isn’t. You lift your whole body up when you pull the handles! I don’t think I mentioned it on this thread? We secured a deal at work and done employees are getting a yr YMCA family membership. None of the locations are close to me but I’ll make sure to go sometimes. It goes into effect in October and one has an indoor pool! I probably need to buy swim shoes.

wait, which thing did you do? Add more slats or add one solid piece of wood? Looks great! That's a real cat, right? I have never seen a tail like that.

While there isn't a morality clause in my settlement, there is a section that touches on the children's well being, education and development. We can argue that this is not in the children's best interest/their well being. It's completely up to the judge's opinion. But I'd say considering the divorce wasn't finalized til May 2022, it's kind of rash to discuss moving in people. If I wasn't living here, he might have moved in with her (impression I got). Which makes zero sense unless he was going to lean on her financially til he found work.

Possibly a moot point but I did get confirmation that it’s not ok for faculty to move in outsiders. They just don’t enforce/challenge the rules. But I won’t hesitate to bring that point up to a judge if I needed to point out extra flaws with the move. Tax payers’ money/abuse of faculty housing.

Does it bother you for your own sake or you because you’re worried the kids will come visit and notice? I get consistency, inclusivity but won’t the new portrait stick out like a sore thumb if he’s older than the others? Since all the previous photos feature young children and he may be older? Maybe send over a pic of the 3 of them? I don’t know the right answer. Your middle child may be able to rationalize that these photos were done long ago and not even take it personally. But if he’s not represented anywhere in the home, I would want to remedy that in some form.

Agree to outlining expectations up front. And/or consequences. Are the mom present the whole time? Chiming in? I’m wondering what makes them helicopter parents in the class.

So sorry to hear 😞

My lawyer was supposed to send a letter to xh’s attorney today. They have a week to respond. Then we can file a motion. I’m totally preparing for it to go before a judge. That letter is more of a courtesy than anything. Like this is your final warning. It won’t be enough to stop xh from trying to move the woman & child in. The kids just stayed in TX again with her this past weekend and the lady/kid are probably visiting xh’s home this weekend again. This isn’t about making xh’s life hell. It’s about the children’s best interests/honoring their moral upbringing. Not only my children but let’s face it… how is this in the best interest of the lady’s child, either? To move him to a home that’s too small to give him a proper bedroom and a town with a poor school district so he’ll have to go to private school. My focus is on my kids, don’t get me wrong. But the judgement of both xh and the woman make me go 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m getting pro bono help if we can get it wrapped up with a quick settlement where PO agrees to make change to building. there is no monetary value in this case for lawyers — as apparently they generally get 20-30% of the medical expenses that are reimbursed. I had nominal medical expenses.