That’s true. I don’t expect the therapist to fix something so much as give dd an outlet. therapy did so much more against than for me with ds’ therapist during/before divorce. It certainly didn’t help my GAL report.

I only have her one weeknight each week and then every other weekend so Thursday night-Sun night some weeks. This week I have her Thursday after school until Tuesday morning because Monday is fall break. I went ahead and took Monday off work. I really wanted her to have access to a neutral/professional party but that may take weeks or months if it happens at all. The divorce probably felt finalized sooner to them because I haven’t lived with them since ~May 2021. Dad probably started wooing this woman during the separation. Sooner for all I know. On the bright side I’m not with him anymore, I’ve got several other things going on in my life that are positive (self improvement stuff etc) and this weekend I’ll celebrate my birthday with dd… and possibly dinner with ds. The agreement says I get the kids 3 hrs on my birthday so I’m inviting ds to dinner with us.

He responded he sees no reason for therapy and referred to her as his fiancé. So I guess they are engaged. He reached out to the school and knows one of the reasons I wanted the counselor to meet with dd was the woman and son moving in. That’s true. I just didn’t elaborate on it. I don’t know exactly what I have to tell him, sigh.

She actually offers talk therapy and play therapy. So I don't know exactly what she would do with dd. But since I found her, he will probably select a different therapist or veto all therapy. In the past I used to think play therapy sounded great, til I read that there was no evidence it was really beneficial. So I'm kind of indifferent now. I would guess some of play therapy would be using art. I don't know. I did some art with ds when we did group therapy at another place.

You all are making me tired just reading how much you did. 3 hour walk? 25 mile bike ride? WHATTTT lol I went to bed early and didn't even get up as early as I wanted this morning!

Yes, exactly. I do think talk therapy is warranted. Dd may not showcase some of her emotions at dad’s or he brushes them under the rug.

Oh yeah I forgot to list therapy. There are several forms of therapy.

I would never jump to that conclusion. There are so many other things that could be addressed/resources exhausted first. Are you willing to do any of the following/already doing: Diet changes Evaluate for vitamin deficiencies/take supplements Exercise Medication Get involved in something (hobby, class, volunteer) I have done all of the above. I do sometimes struggle, but I'd say it's more situational depression right now.

I had a discussion with my lawyer about it and he said that xh can stop it as the tie breaker, but then I could override with a judge. Xh is like, "I don't think she needs therapy" and I'm like, "I was told by a counselor that it would be a good idea to help her process all the changes in her life... school, divorce, custody changes etc). He's just going to be difficult and try to stop it from happening at all I think. And it's bad enough that the settlement says I pay 100% of any therapy scheduled by me.

He won’t cooperate on the move in and now he’s trying to stop me from scheduling therapy for our daughter. I didn’t know I have to get his consent to schedule it… even though I will be paying 100%. If he won’t budge then I’ll have to bring both topics up in court. We have joint legal but I didn’t quite understand what exactly it required. He’s a tie breaker so of course if he says no I need a judge to override it.

Wrong thread

36 min on bike while I watched Udemy course. I'm going to download the 7-day trial of Illustrator today and then just pay for a subscription indefinitely (a couple months probably). I was thinking it would be best if I did the lectures along with him, not just reserve exercises. Add the hands-on element for retention. And see immediately if the interface is different from 2018 for particular tools. I feel a bit overwhelmed. I have so many things I want to do and limited energy/time. I need to start taking my vitamins again. I've been really bad about that. There was some reason I laid off on the K+D vitamin. I've only used the B12 spray here and there and forgot to stop an Amazon auto ship of the item so I might just keep it. The original bottle says it's supposed to be consumed within 90 days so I'll probably just keep the spare for freshness. Last night I fiddled around with this old Singer sewing machine that belongs to the landlords. It's theirs, but they said I could use it. It lives in my house. I had no idea how different old machines are threaded, so I didn't get very far! A couple YouTube videos had similar models. I think it would be great for my curtain project where I have to go through several layers of fabric, but not worth the fuss. Parts are dry, dusty and rusty. It would probably need to be professionally serviced or I'd need to know exactly what to do (I watched a video where a lady unboxed a similar one and she bought oil and applied it to several parts of the machine). I told myself I don't have time for this. But what a beautiful machine! I have programs I bought that I haven't even started. One is a stretching program and one is for pelvic floor (mostly I didn't do the pelvic floor one because you're supposed to buy a jade egg or kegel balls and I was wishy washy on it. I even spoke to my ob/gyn about it months ago and she said she had no input on it other than to refer me to a PT that deals with pelvic floor. I said I was interested, but she didn't give me the info and I didn't follow up because of money. I can't tell if I'm understanding the stretching program correctly. He says work on front split certain days and side split other days but if you want to combine then do this one first and then later he says don't do the program more than a few days a week. What??? That's clear as mud. Now that I've gone to the site it appears the splits might be bonus material. Ugh I don't know how to navigate their site to see where I'm supposed to start. Talked to the YMCA. All classes except one are just show up. The other one you need to register 24 hrs ahead. I'm trying to justify going... it's far away so expensive to use gas. Maybe after I do magazine deliveries here in about a week? I can bring a change of clothes and change in our office.

@Jenny in Florida I hope today was better. I did 30 min on my bike tonight. My body is still sore from pickleball Sat. and I just don’t know when I’ll touch those HIIT videos.

Morning walk. Hit 6k steps. Used the stick once (just hit the ground with it to make a noise) for the dog that is off leash by the park, but I also think he might be friendly but he's in protect territory mode.

I would see if you can freeze some of the leftovers.

I don’t understand how you landed at that conclusion. My personal train of thought: She had main course covered plus dessert. She wanted appetizers/something for people to graze on. Insert deli tray. Deli tray wasn’t a hit. She didn’t think of fruit tray. I would not bring a side dish when she’s hosting. There was plenty of food. I would bring what she asked for. If nothing was asked for, I would bring what I thought was a good contribution— like a fruit tray again. I found out the hard way that my MIL wanted to control everything for meals and most additions were not truly appreciated. In fact, we were stepping on toes. To not step on toes, I would try to do what was asked and nothing more when she’s in charge. Unless your dh thinks it’s worth it to cause waves. She probably left asking why your brought fruit lol editing to say - xh and I did sometimes break rules but in a way that we felt was a compromise. We sometimes brought some snacks for before the main meal on a big holiday where we’d be sitting around for hours. I took a risk and brought pigs in a blanket once which she may not have appreciated but was otherwise well received and since it wasn’t a “made from scratch” thing seemed less controversial?

Keep going. You’ve got this! You’re playing that all from memory?! No sheet music in sight.

If the whole bathroom is black & white I think the wood might look out of place. If he’s in love with it maybe put that mirror somewhere else in the home and get a new bathroom mirror.

Oh my gosh the pool did have an issue. Kids were hospitalized recently because of a faulty pump and they inhaled chlorine gas? But weeks before that they said on social media they were having pump issues. So now I’m hoping it’s fixed for real this time. How scary! They said it’s open again and they had a swim meet this weekend.

@BusyMom5 I just got back into the 150s. I’m also trying to lose. I want to lose 1-2 lbs a week but haven’t been losing as fast lately. I recommend Get Fit with Rick on YouTube but sometimes I don’t like the playlist (I prefer the no commentary videos, too). I have on occasion watched him and played my own music lol

Today will probably be a rest day. Remember I was wondering if it was really necessary to carry a stick on walks? Well I was gifted a homemade one by concerned friends/parishioners. I’ll try it out. They said it’s cypress so not heavy. It is a bit big but we’ll see how it goes. @wintermom sorry to hear about your injury. I know it can be so frustrating.

I ended up ordering two pairs of swim shoes (one for me, one for dd) in anticipation of next weekend. Hopefully we can go swimming.

@Jenny in Florida I’m glad you’re ok. Wow that’s a huge road block. This morning I drove an hour to play pickleball. Got there at 8:30 and played a little over an hour. Met new people. I wanted to get my ID for the new YMCA membership that took effect today. Same town as the pickleball court. They gave me my keychain with barcode. I tried a couple strength training machines but some are just too hard and 10lbs is the lowest weight. I did 30 min on the treadmill. My foot started bothering me. Stupid arch. Two different employees told me different things. One said the indoor pool (at another location) is not open because of repairs. The other lady said it’s definitely open; they have classes. But the therapy pool is closed. I will just call ahead before I try the pool lol I wonder if I can find discounted swim shoes this time of year. I thought of stopping at the library on the way home but I’m gross and want to shower. Getting a few items at the store then going home. Steps are over 9k right now.

That is alarming but I’d rather be aware. I also googled days ago about sexu@l abuse and stumbled on info about it happening between biological siblings. So if it happens with relatives I know my fears with non relatives isn’t so crazy. I immediately thought of Lena Dunham. It’s always upset me she wasn’t shunned more over her actions toward her sister in her memoir.

I wasn’t worried about ds as much… though I did remind him he needs to wear more than underwear around the house lol I’m always asking him to and he ignores me here 🙄 but he recently stopped coming over (showed up with dad to get dd today — misunderstanding on my part and I picked her up from school by mistake because I didn’t have the kids last weekend but xh said he wanted me to do my makeup day in Nov) and I probably won’t have any visits with him for some time. I did give him Mr Beast chocolate bars I found which he seemed to be happy about. You could only order online til recently. I found them in Walmart.