Dd broke her glasses at fall fest. I told xh I would pay for my share of one pair but please discuss in advance if ordering more (when ds broke glasses xh ordered 2 and then I had to fork over more money at once). He just ordered one pair and I sent my share which wasn’t too bad. I don’t shop at target often but when I was there last night I scanned most of my items to look for any possible red circle discounts. Saved 15% on my lettuce and paid for everything with red card for 5% off. I’m signed up to help with the Halloween class party and didn’t know what to offer to bring. I said I can bring paper plates & napkins. I’ll look at dollar tree or Walmart. The plates, even on sale, at JoAnn were a rip off (only came in a pack of 8, too). But I don’t even know if they need plates?? I just wanted something cheap & easy. Someone else is bringing drinks, another is bringing goodie bags and xh is bringing “worm dirt” which I’m guessing will be distributed in cups. If I have time I might sew some Halloween bookmarks with fabric I have here. Open to other easy ideas. I couldn’t find any cheap stickers, erasers etc in Target. Half the Halloween section was cleared out.

Not all counselors are a good fit. And I don't know if it's me or them but I've had several lackluster ones. Since therapy can be very expensive or time consuming, it's ok if you want to pause or look for someone else. I'm glad you've had help with spiritual direction.

There are reasons to talk about the past that you might not understand if you haven't attended various types of counseling. I have done Internal Family Systems and EMDR. You discuss it to process it. They say your brain is like a filing cabinet and you file certain memories a certain way, but you maybe didn't really process them. You know on a conscious level that this mindset you had should be dismissed, but you are addressing the subconscious level. Then with IFS you are addressing parts that you maybe don't dig deep into and dismiss as "that annoying voice that says this." But if you look at it as a part, you can explore it and say, "what is this part trying to convey to me? What are they trying to protect me from?" I can barely explain it as I've only done limited work in this area, but there are different parts — Managers, Exiles, Firefighters, and The Self. I think the run of the mill counselor doesn't go into these types of things, though.

I do have a best friend out of state and we talk usually daily (through random messages). Sometimes it's light and fluffy and sometimes it's deep. But we can share and vent if we need to. I do sometimes feel like a counselor is a better option for a professional research-based opinion... however, many of them do not share anything particularly insightful. I love my girlfriend but she's quicker to burn bridges/write people off than I am. The Hive definitely has helped me with a ton. I occasionally attend group sessions on zoom for parents struggling with children concerns. They are free.

I don't like age gaps like that. One is going to go off to college soon and already able to drive and vote whereas the other is just in the beginning of their high school time. When I was a kid I wasn't allowed to date til I was 16. And I am sure my parents wouldn't want my first date to be with a guy that was older (and let's face it, probably more experienced). Not sure if there's a delicate way to say this, but I would worry there would be a power/control dynamic imbalance and the girl may feel pressured to "catch up" to the boy's sexual desires/expectations, if applicable. If the boy was my son I would tell him to date someone closer to his own age. I may even tell him to consider the longevity of it (will you two be going to the same town/college). If the girl was my daughter I would say you don't need to date yet or at least not someone that much older. I would maybe encourage group outings. *sorry, legally old enough to have full-fledged license. Forgot he's not driving.

Different with different counselors, but mostly I feel like I talk too much, they barely say anything and I could have just said all that to a girlfriend. The best counselors give me books to read and methods to try (such as a communication method, an anxiety reducing method). And for me, give me validation. "That sounds hard" "he pulled the rug out from under you." Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you. I needed that. The one that I opened up to and shared a traumatic experience and said nothing? I made an excuse and never went back. I am all for taking ownership of patterns and actions but I do not respond kindly to what I perceive as victim blaming. My most recent counselor practices Internal Family Systems. I haven't met with her in weeks and she sent me a text the other day to show me something that may help me. She says in her practice the goal is to get you to be able to help yourself, not stay in therapy forever. But maybe returning occasionally for certain things. I have told counselors, "it's ok, you can interrupt me or redirect me" because I know that I'm bad at managing time and can let the session get away from me.

Nah, I don't read it that way at all. She's just wishing he had been in her closer family circle. I would not take that to mean she's saying his wife is awful but I would be annoyed if I was the wife! Hope that makes sense. And it's a really shallow thing to say if the main reason she said it was financial!

They have more protein and lower glycemic index according to google. They also often come in organic. I haven't been able to find the Great Value version in a while (which may or may not be organic). So I don't buy every shopping trip as they are kinda expensive. And yes, they do have antioxidants. I like to snack on them on their own, add to tortilla soup, and eat with refried beans. A bag never lasts long here. Sorry you have everything due at once and conferences ugh.

37 min on stationary bike when I got home

Yikes. I rent a 3 bd 1 ba house for less so it pains me to pay so much for something smaller. Drove all the way to the YMCA tonight because I’m crazy. Swam laps. It was really cold entering the water! Some man sat down by my lane so I was self conscious. But we spoke later. He was just waiting on a grandchild and plans to swim another time. I felt really winded and rusty. I think I’ll watch some swimming videos to look at their form. Stopped at target on way home (here now) and got a few groceries. Watermelon, strawberries, blue corn chips, refried beans, carrots and lettuce. I can’t wait to eat the watermelon. Been craving it but it was $12 for a big one out of a guy’s truck and $5 at Walmart for a smaller one. This was a personal size one for just under $4.

Xh has said before to not feed our kids dinner on Sun night before drop off as he likes to provide Sun night dinner (drop off is at 6). Last night I dropped off dd and was greeted by the fiancée. Her son came to the door and volunteered that xh was not home and that he was at work. I don't know if this means he was catching up on some stuff or officially taking over Sun night shifts again. He is married to his job. I learned that they moved a cat into the home, too. I asked dd where the litter box was but she has no idea and said the cat goes out at night. /shrug. dd said she didn't go to church/Sun school last weekend and attended a Baptist church. I asked xh about it and he said it was a one off thing because he had to meet with the minister (guess they are planning to be married in a Baptist church). But with all the chaos this year, dd's resistance to church/Sun school, the location of the classes, etc. I suggested we consider postponing her Sacrament of First Communion to next school year (third grade, which is when ds did it). We will talk to the priest. In the meantime, I told dd if we pulled her out of the class she'd be expected to do Sunday school at home. I told her I could get it online (in fact, we paid for this year for ds but I don't think he's been doing it). She said she'd rather do a workbook with me and I said that's fine. I'll find out what to order.

Weight went back up. Ate too much junk this weekend + not enough exercise. Couldn’t restock fridge as it was so late after trick or treating. I’ll try to offset the junk food this week. I tried to buy high waisted jeans but they didn’t have my size in stock. I ordered my best guess online but their online descriptions don’t match the descriptions on the pant labels. I will probably get the wrong thing ugh I want to swim laps soon but it’s so much gas to get there. An hour drive. Literally looked up apartments (small ones, 2 bd) closer to the things I like to do and they are over $1000/mo. Ugh. For my cost of living area, that’s sorta high IMO. But typical now.

I don’t like smoke of any kind but I would probably go with decriminalizing it for a couple reasons. One of which is decriminalizing drugs supposedly makes a dent in the illegal distribution of it. Though I’ve heard it costs more to buy legally so I don’t know. Taxes to go back into the city? I just wouldn’t want it to be everywhere like outdoor patios at restaurants. I don’t know how restaurants would handle it. It gives me a headache. I’m not sure if people would be any more inclined to smoke it around the vulnerable (young kids) but people that already smoke would probably act no differently.

Short walk with dd today and 40 min on exercise bike

Dd finally got to wear her Wanda outfit. She loved that I could remove the cape. Most people didn’t get the costume but a couple did at least lol

That’s a great idea. I pump myself up by making it feel like dancing which is how a lot of the Rick videos feel. I used to listen to audio books on the treadmill and walks but haven’t in quite some time.

@Jenny in Florida Walking for movement is ok. Just hopefully you can enjoy it. I don’t follow the plan closely but the Metabolic Renewal plan says walk 10k a day and not quickly/for cardio. Strictly to get some movement. However when I walk I just go at whatever pace I feel like. Sometimes I mute the Get Fit with Rick videos and choose my own music. I try to make it enjoyable and I don’t always like the music picks.

Yesterday I forgot to wear my pedometer. Took dd out. Didn't realize the YMCA closes at 4 on Saturday and they usually make you exit the pool like a half hour before and then you need to make sure you have time to shower if you plan to do that... so I just told dd we don't have time for the pool today. We went to a library event then trunk or treat. I was starving and got us a Little Caesar's pizza we ate in the car between events (apparently they are not $5 anymore and I didn't realize they had free hot dogs at the trunk or treat. Oh well, I don't think I could have waited that long to eat). Hope to do bike and/or workout video later today.

Made this bag for dd. https://youtu.be/B1XUUF9NfTA

Been very distracted but the fall fest is over now (I posted some pics on the frugalistas and craft threads). I did eat some of the baked goods. Did 45 min on the stationary bike tonight (first time using since second tailbone injury). Glad to feel ok. Dd and I watched the 1984 Frankenweenie movie while I biked. She’s the only reason I got any exercise — she didn’t want to go to bed lol I haven’t been wearing my watch all day so don’t know my average steps recently. I’ll try to wear all day tomorrow. Watch just gets in my way for some tasks. Dd and I are supposed to go out tomorrow so I hope I rack up steps. Oh yeah I did buy hummus recently. Ate with veggies this week. Need to restock my pumpkin seeds (I add to salads).

I wear mine most of the day, but sometimes I'll walk around the house without them since it doesn't affect everything I do. I'm near sighted. I wear them to watch tv, but can read without them. Generally, yes, I wear them til I go to bed. But I don't feel nauseous without.

I think I'm low in magnesium and bought a lotion. I read that it absorbs faster through the skin (vs supplements). This is the one I have: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MFA39FE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 I haven't used it religiously so I cannot give an accurate review, but it can't hurt to add to your routine. Also, the act of massaging the lotion in probably helps.

New ovens off gas, too so while upgrading you're exposed to toxins. This oven I have now stunk many, many times after first use. I heated it up to high temps, ran it an hour, opened windows. Still stunk many uses later. It was awful. I don't want to deal with brand new appliances that heat up. Toaster ovens do it, too.

Ordered a puzzle mat, but it doesn't stay flat so I sent it back today. I chose refund, but for some reason it says they are sending a replacement so I sent a message to the seller to try to correct that. I looked at some membership options for the children's museum because dd gets in with her membership, but I don't have one. I called xh to ask if he would mind if I paid the difference to add a member to the account, but I didn't want to assume because he might want to add future step son and/or fianceé. Well it turns out there's an option for 6 members and that's what he's upgrading to when current membership expires (Nov) so he said he planned to make me member #6 on the acct. I offered to contribute, but he said no need. I looked up the plans again and there's an option for 3, 4, 6, and 9 people per membership. So I guess I just lucked out (he couldn't choose 5 lol). Not that we will go all the time, but it will be nice. Right now if I take dd, I have to fork over $10 to get in so I haven't been taking her. We are going to library event tomorrow and I will pick up a couple items at the store while we're out. There's some pillsbury coupon so if I remember I'll look at the dough this weekend. One of these days we are going to try to do the homemade Little Caesar crazy bread with a recipe I saw online. https://thekrazycouponlady.com/2022/10/20/pillsbury-crescent-rolls-only-0-92-at-kroger I think one posting combined ibotta and Fetch.

Really glad I said no to trick or treating with them this year... lol I don't know if they are going out Sat and Monday or just Monday. Halloween weekend I won't just be sitting home alone. I'm babysitting.