The lease is up in early May I think? The Crosstrek is in excellent condition and has been very gently used. I will say though - we're in VT (as my screen name indicates) and Vermont cars are notorious for undercarriage rust. At 3 years old, it's probably not an issue yet (I haven't looked under there!) but Vermonters will often go to drier/less snowy states to buy used cars to avoid rust. If you are interested though - DM me. Would love it to go to a good home! Don't be sorry - you've given me things to think about and I appreciate it. We have similar set ups - Uber may exist here, but it's not like it is in even small cities. Another thing your post got me thinking about is DS will be 15 in a couple of months and (I can't believe he's old enough for this) old enough for a driver's permit. So that's another consideration we'll need to take into account. I think we could make it work through the spring/summer/fall and potentially revisit next winter. At the very least we'll have saved 6-7 months of car payments at that point, which is pretty cool. I'm going to show the Carvana stuff to DH and let him know about this thread too! I agree about DR. We were in debt at the time and were working to pay down a loan and credit cards. And my brain knows that a 5-10-year-old car would be reliable and not need too much work, typically. I think I may have some car PTSD because my insides turn when I think about having a 10-year-old car again. We did have some crappy luck with the cars we were buying. They would get a clean bill of health, and then they would just fall apart. I had a tie rod blow on the highway, and I barely was able to pull over safely. We had to replace 2 CV joints on another car, and the tech wouldn't let us drive it because he said it was too dangerous. There are probably another half dozen or so situations that I don't even want to try to remember! I'll work on it - maybe one newer and one used-er could work!

My husband had similar concerns about our son being on prozac longer term. He was especially concerned about his being on it during/after puberty and the effects it may have had. Our Dr agreed that during puberty, the brain is making new connections, pruning, and going through a very heightened period of activity, but he made the very important point of - what would the effects of his brain rewiring/pruning in a state of heightened anxiety? That was enough to convince DH to keep him on the meds as long as needed. He started them at 9, and at 12, he wanted to try taking a lower dose to see if he could wean off of them. It was not successful, and his anxiety ramped up. I believe he wants to try again this summer when he'll be 15. The nice thing is, you can always lower the dose for a bit as a test to see if you feel good at the lower dose and ramp back up if needed. We also wish we had started DS sooner than we did. They can be life changing.

Snow tires are a must around here!! They were new last year I think and are lightly used.

Oh you're a genius! That's $9,000 more than we owe on it. Is Carvana legit?

We could buy one of them out with cash, but not both I don't think. But that's a thought if I could make it work!

I live two towns over from my school. I'm on the eastern edge of my town, and there are two tiny towns to my east. The town I work in has less than 1,000 people living in it. My school has busses but they don't head my direction - they only bus for students that live in the town. That would be a great idea though!!

I think that's just the lease term? I contacted Chase (who finances the lease) to get payoff quotes. I'm guessing the dealership would much prefer me to turn in my car and lease a new one, but legally, the paperwork I signed in 2020 has a payoff section in there that was determined back then. I'm guessing no one knew that used car prices would go up so much?

Thank you! @Starr that's my biggest question. Winter would be tricky. Although DH could pretty easily drop me off at work, and almost all of my coworkers drive by my road on their drive home, so I am sure I could get a ride home when needed. I live one block off of the main road that leads to school, so they could even just slow down near my road as they pass and I could jump out. 😂 @KSera- DH really wants an electric car, so that's definitely part of our future plans. We even have a charging station just outside of his office. @Corraleno - I just checked. The CrossTrek price is similar (just under $17,000 to buy) and seems to be worth slightly less, but not much when looking at used car prices. DH has about 14,000 miles on his right now. @Arcadia Our work schedules are pretty different, so I couldn't take him in. I have to be at work at 7 am and he doesn't have his first clients until noon or 1 pm. I'm done by 3 pm most days and he doesn't get home until after 7 pm, typically. But, he could bring me in! No real public transport, unfortunately. I think we may have a few Ubers? But no taxis and busses won't go out to my school - it's pretty rural.

I am trying to figure out what to do at the end of my current lease. In the past, we have always re-leased, and we typically get great deals. Our current lease - put $0 down, have all maintenance/annual inspections/annual registration included. We pay just under $375/month for each car. Since we started our last lease almost 3 years ago, we moved to a location much closer to both DH and my work. I am currently 5 miles away from school, and he is <1 mile from his office. This means we have very low mileage on both cars. I'm at 17,005 as of today, and DH is just under that. We are strongly considering dropping to one car, at least for a while. It feels like we're paying for 2 cars that we barely use right now. I cannot bike/walk to work as the road there is a 50mph state road w/ no sidewalks, and would be terrifying to bike on. DH could, pretty easily - and he had his hip replaced in Oct so now he physically can as well. Our options - turn in both cars at the end of the lease term (May) and lease 1 new car that we share. Turn in one car and buy out the other. It's a Premium Subaru Forester in great condition and I love it. Considerations - my lease buyout price will be just over $16,000. When I look to see what used 2020 foresters are selling for, they're about $10,000 more (26,000-28,000). We did the Dave Ramsey - drive a beater - thing for a while and it very much backfired on us, and we ended up pouring money into beater cars. I was almost unable to attend my aunt's funeral 5 hrs away because we couldn't get there. We were able to rent a car and make it, but I need to have a reliable, newer car for my own mental health. I'm leaning toward buying out my Forester and dropping to one car as a test run. If we feel we need a second car, we can always do that. DH was looking at used cars and the prices are crazy right now, so it doesn't seem to make sense to buy a second car, used. We'd be better off buying out that lease too. (Subaru Crosstrek) Any knowledgeable car people (or anyone else) want to help me brainstorm this? In the past (since we stopped the beater car plan), we've just released and not thought much about it. Given the current landscape, it feels like it might be smarter to buy out this lease. Am I on the right track?

New England (have lived in both southern and northern) rhymes with silk.

I'm super petty, so if it were me, I'd be submitting my unanswered emails to my group along with my final project. I'd add a note to my final submission letting my professor know that I tried, on many occasions, to engage my group, but they refused to do their part.

I do this as an adult, too, when I'm in a tricky work situation. Collaborating with friends/colleagues/family to help problem solve is a mature thing to do, and can also be very helpful!

So Vermont decided it was a good idea to get rid of standard grading systems and changed to proficiency-based grading. In theory this sounds like it could work - students have as many opportunities as they need to show proficiency in any given area. Additionally, many (most?) districts don't hold kids back anymore. I know the research behind this says that students are more likely to drop out, and it's psychologically bad for kids to be held back. On the flip side, this leaves little extrinsic motivation for kids to try. I work in a middle school, and the students know that no matter how little work they complete or how little they try, they will graduate. No summer school required, nothing. So yes, teachers are using common core standards as the benchmark for each grade. So kids are working on multiplicative reasoning in 3rd grade, fractional reasoning in 5th, etc. BUT, if a 3rd grader doesn't understand what multiplication is and how to do it, they'll move on to 4th grade. And the class will learn 4th-grade concepts. But, that 3rd grader (in reality, numerous 3rd graders) is still in a 4th-grade math class. From a special education perspective, this is good - all children should receive grade-level instruction. But, most of these kids aren't on IEPs and are not necessarily receiving intervention or any additional instruction to backfill what they missed in 3rd grade. So they either fall further behind or aren't able to make up enough ground. Things get worse in 5th, 6th, etc. We have 7th graders starting the year not fluent in multiplicative reasoning, which means that teachers are put in a really tough position. We can have up to 75% of students below grade level in a class, but they're expected to teach grade-level material. So students aren't getting what they need, and teachers aren't able to teach what they need to learn. The kids that are on grade level are often bored and not challenged. It's tough.

I'll answer from a prone to motion sickness perspective. I would drive because I get car sick very easily, and driving helps prevent that. If either of them is also prone to carsickness, they may also want the front. Otherwise, Shotgun rules are in effect.

Me- I went back in 2019 as a middle school special educator. Things are tough right now, but manageable and I have some amazing coworkers. You'll probably still hate the system. It's frustrating on the best of days. And kids are not thriving right now (at least in Vermont). I struggle when I see how far expectations have dropped and they're still not low enough to meet the kids where they are, academically.

I just read this to DH - he loved it. These are always some of my favorite posts - thank you for writing them!!

Ugh - unfortunately, the law doesn't always make sense. We just had a situation this week where someone I know had their car window shot in and their car vandalized and this person can't get a restraining order (there were verbal and written threats too). It's a wait to fail system and too many people get injured or killed before offenders can get arrested sometimes. It makes me so mad.

I think she said he asked someone different to take him home, which is why they hadn't quite left yet.

I am so sorry Gardenmom - I was so hoping that you guys would have been able to get out before he returned home. I am very glad you're safe and I hope the kids aren't too traumatized by what they just experienced. Hugs to you all!!

Thinking of you guys today - I hope everything goes smoothly and everyone stays safe. Does he have any idea his house will be empty when he returns? Have he and your DD been talking at all? Wondering if he'll hit the roof?

Congratulations!!! 🥳

Beautiful baby!! Welcome to the world, Malcolm! ❤️

I think your text sounds perfect. As for DH - I think you could tell him and also remind him that this affects you too, so you do have a say. Something like, "I appreciate that you would like to keep me out of the middle of this, but that I needed to make sure I were doing what's best for him and me too. And being stuck in the middle of SIL drama is not good for either of our mental health."

Praying for you - I hope everything goes smoothly and you're posting while recovering and healthy soon.

I'm another "can't do anything without brushing my teeth first thing" person. There have been times I've woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and will do a quick brush before going back to bed. DH can drink coffee before brushing his teeth and thinks I'm gross for drinking coffee after I brush. I brush before bed, and then I'll do a midday brush if I've had something extra pungent or feel the need to. I'm a diligent nightly flosser, too - my auntie is a dental hygienist, and we grew up with the fear of God put into us regarding dental hygiene!