I think this comparison (Covid to HIV) is complicated. Covid-19 is so much more easily transmitted. HIV requires bodily fluid transfer; Covid is airborne. The actual precautions needed to prevent contagion are worlds apart. There's no reason a college student needs to worry about an HIV-positive roommate unless they're exchanging bodily fluids. A roommate with Covid, on the other hand, genuinely is a serious risk, especially with Delta. But there was a time when people didn't know this, and yes, there was a lot of shaming. It was reprehensible, then as now, but fear doesn't bring out the best in people. I don't remember just how long it took for the transmission mechanism of HIV to be fully understood, but I think it was significantly more than the few months before people became aware of airborne transmission of Covid.* There was a long time for people to be worried but not have clear information on how HIV spread. HIV shaming was partly fear, and partly a proxy for gay shaming. It wasn't all about gay shaming, though: remember the HIV+ boy who wasn't allowed to use his neighborhood swimming pool? I think one critical difference is that in the early '80s, people had fears, but little certainty about transmission. Today, we do know with certainty that Covid-19 is transmitted through the air. There's validity to the concern about, say, sharing a room. As for privacy: is it an invasion of privacy to know that everyone in a college is vaccinated against measles, unless they have a medical exemption? How is that different from knowing that the same policy applies to Covid? It seems to me that this is an argument for all colleges having that policy, so the question just doesn't get asked on an individual level. It's just like having everyone mask in an elementary school, so individual maskers aren't singled out. If a college doesn't require vaccinations, then individual students' vaccination status does become important information for their roommates. *Timeline on history of HIV and AIDS: first published notice of new infection in June, 1981; first published article on sexual transmission a year later, in June, 1982; discussion of possibilities of transmission ongoing in 1984. That's as far as I read. https://www.hiv.gov/hiv-basics/overview/history/hiv-and-aids-timeline

Is there a Meals on Wheels you could drive for? I'd assume they're being careful, but you'd have distanced contact with people.

Seriously, the folks stuck in nursing homes have had such a hard time. I'd find a way to help them. Being a penpal is a great idea. Even sending a bunch of cards, so they all get something. Google ideas like these with your area. Maybe call some nonprofits and ask if they need help.

Okay, that's different from what you said first. I bet you aren't the only one who's lonely. Identify someone else who is, and find a way to communicate with them. Think of it as a service to both of you.

There's more than one way to be with people. Call them, write to them, text them, send them things you've made them.

Plan a fall garden Learn a new style of cooking Bake Sort and organize family photos, letters, recipes, etc. Interview older relatives about their lives Sew, knit, crochet Write about your own life for your kids Read for fun Write a novel Find out who in your area (or family... or anywhere) might be in need of company, and phone or write them Rediscover the fun of writing letters

So many stories like that. It's just so terribly sad.

I am so sorry.

Thinking of you here, too.

We have some treatments, but no magic bullets. My understanding is that there's nothing yet which would, for example, be the equivalent of an antibiotic to treat a bacterial infection. There's hope for new treatments currently in research, but not presently available. Hospitals are absolutely getting overwhelmed. We know how to prevent that: the population needs to be vaccinated. I think the goal is to vaccinate as many as possible, and then get them booster shots as needed, in hopes of saving lives, preventing the next dangerous variant, and continuing to prevent hospitals from being overwhelmed. On a population level, that probably should mean a hard shutdown for several weeks, plus a heavy, all-hands-on-deck approach to mass vaccination, plus universal masking. If we did it right now, we could get numbers way down before most schools start in September. Kids in middle and high school could have at least one dose, maybe two by then, and be in better shape to attend school in person. But we won't do that, because people won't tolerate it. I think local influencers like ministers, doctors, coaches could do a lot of good if they talked about how important vaccination is, and held local events where vaccination is available. That's happening in some places: people here have posted examples. My own goal at this point is just to keep my family safe. We're all vaccinated. We're returning to masking. I'm ordering N95s.

That's wonderful! Congratulations!

That was before Delta, though.

I don't know Lane or Flexsteel, but have been very happy with gently used Lazyboy, if you can find it.

Agreed.

I mean... I don't think the people who aren't happy about mask mandates are all that worried about logic and consistency. Crossing lines between public health and personal liberty can be debated all day long, but I don't see a thoughtful debate, outside of this forum. I see people desperately trying to protect others on the one hand, and manipulating emotions for their own benefit *and to the detriment of their own constituents* on the other.

Hugs, Roadrunner. I wish there were better answers. Good luck.

Maybe I'm not understanding, but I think the idea would be that, for one year, you *would* fully enroll him. Then, by testing, it would be clear that he's ready for calculus, AP biology, etc. Even if he has to sit through English 9 (and maybe he wouldn't), overall it could be better than the alternatives. Then, the next year you pull him back out, give homeschool credit for everything he took, and continue with senior year.

So what you're saying is that the data and the announcements have nuance, but the public understanding isn't able to grasp those nuances. Am I understanding that correctly? I'm afraid we are reaping what we have sown. Abysmal science education has consequences.

So, just noting that I really don't think this is accurate. Did we ever get comprehensive figures on how many have side effects significant enough to keep them home from work? Mine certainly weren't.

One other thought-- it may be time to put on your own oxygen mask. Focus on meticulous self-care: getting outside daily, good diet, good sleep, therapy (virtual is easy), medication. You sound like you, yourself, may benefit from support, so you can provide the best support for your ds. A therapist might also have ideas for helping him. You may already be doing all this, sorry if it's restating what you already know. Seriously, if there isn't anything for his age group, see if you can create something.

I can hear that. I'm sorry.

@RoadrunnerOr, a different approach-- a strong focus on helping someone else. There must be someone in need that your ds could help. That can go a long way in giving a sense of perspective and improving outlook.

This is the same where we are. Is there family anywhere that your ds could stay with for an extended time? Or, is there anything else that your ds would love, but under normal circumstances you would never do because of expense, trouble, etc? We have dealt with mental health issues, and have gone way out of our comfort zone in response. It was expensive and difficult, but did help get through a rough period. If possible, I would become the hostess with the mostest for whatever group of kids your ds would do well hanging around. I would go the whole nine yards-- screened enclosure, fans, masks available, food, games, fire pit outside, barbeque-- whatever gets the kids there.

Yeah, I understand that concern. It's screwing up a bunch of my plans, too. You may be talking about more serious harm than I'm encountering. The situation stinks, no question. This shifts the conversation a bit, but this experience has made me look at where we live in a whole new way. Thinking ahead in a broad sense, I want to be in an area which has responded intelligently to this crisis (because there will be other crises down the road), and an area that provides what we need to thrive. I had thought about relocating post-retirement, but the areas I daydreamed about haven't handled this crisis well. This reality is changing my thoughts. Maybe you could think about doing something radically different? Are you the person who is tied to your area because of employment? I understand that, we are too, for now. But maybe there's something that could change. Could you start a group for your ds, with safe guidelines?

This. This is a very hard time, but it isn't permanent. Things will shift back. Humans are wired to gather in groups. (I mean, some are wired that way more than others... One of mine is hoping online school is still an option for 2022-2023... ) But just look at how hard staying apart is in general. People don't like it. Most of us aren't wired that way. We're social, and we will *act* social, just as soon as possible. Some things may shift, like allowing more people to work from home, but people will gather, because that's part of what humans are.