I worry about it and I consider myself normal, well, for the most part.

http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2014/05/24/elliot_rodger_the_pick_up_artist_community_s_predictable_horrible_response.html So Slate did an article about some of the sites the shooter was spending time on, mostly how to get women to give you "tea". Relationships are nothing. It is all about getting tea from h o t girls (they have a scale apparently). They refer to the men that women chose instead of them as "targets", really sick and sad at the same time.

I heard about the one in China actually.

This is perfect I think, caring and helpful vs judgmental.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2013/09/19/u-s-has-more-guns-and-gun-deaths-than-any-other-country-study-finds/

Maybe the parents should be put on trial since the son is dead. Maybe parents should be legally responsible forever for what their offspring do, good or bad. We would could raise the age of legal adulthood to, I don't know, how about forty? These kinds of killings seem to be carried out mostly by people under forty I think. Those of us with children who have diagnoses could just follow our adult children wherever they go and make sure they are not getting guns to shoot people. I just don't get these kinds of comments I guess. Parents do not have control over their adult children. Or more accurately, they have the control those adult children are willing to allow. What if your son did not want you in his apartment and didn't give you access? You would break in? Because then you would be the one being arrested. If an adult does not want another adult stalking them, even if it is their parent, they can get a restraining order and then again, you are the one who gets arrested. How many people go on the internet and spew vitriol? Do they all go out and kill people? I just don't believe that parents can stop this stuff, though I think they would if they had a way to do so.

http://www.futureswithoutviolence.org/userfiles/Gun%20Fact%20Sheet_FINAL%2003%2003%2013.pdf Mass killings are just a tiny portion of the problem.

I love our neighborhood with older homes and mature trees. I love our neighbors. I love having a front porch.

I wouldn't trade my 20's house. I love it. But there is the gross, gross, gross damp basement. I hate the basement. We have done two additions and paid the price for staying true to the original design/character. There is nothing worse than seeing an older house that has an addition that looks like a big cracker box stuck on the side.

This makes no sense to me. Having too much stuff from your parents can turn you into a mass murderer? Is this what you are saying? If they made him have a paper route he would have turned out OK?

I am guessing you are correct. However, the NRA is a well funded and thus powerful lobbyist organization representing the interests of people who make money from guns. Public safety is not a concern of the NRA, at least not anymore. ETA: Here is a link to a story about a campaign robo call that went out in the area the day after the shooting. Any candidate that supports gun regulation, even at a very, very, limited level, is going to have the full might of the NRA and it's money come out against them. It doesn't even matter if the regulations are supported by polls of gun owners. Republicans who do not toe the NRA line are especially vulnerable. http://www.santaclarita.com/blog/view.php?blog_entry_id=31138 Here is an article about polls showing that NRA MEMBERS are not opposed to ALL gun regulation. http://www.politifact.com/texas/statements/2013/apr/04/lee-leffingwell/lee-leffingwell-says-polls-show-90-percent-america/ The NRA may have started as a club/organization for gun enthusiasts and hunters but that is not what it is anymore.

It doesn't happen as frequently. http://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/interactive/2012/jul/22/gun-ownership-homicides-map

93% here

My thoughts, for your reading pleasure and contemplation: 1. Teenage girls like to be admired by teenage boys. 2. Teenage boys like to be admired by teenage girls. 3. Both teenage girls and boys have, hmmm, let's just call them "sexual feelings". ( Let us please NOT call them "impure thoughts" because that is just stupid. ) 4. Teens, both boys and girls, are sorting out all these new and intense feelings and yet are still able to appreciate friendships, family, sports, books, movies and lots and lots of other stuff. 5. Points 1, 2, and 3 are perfectly normal and healthy. I will even go out on a limb here and call them exciting and wonderful ;). They can also be confusing and difficult and that is where parents need to be helpful in sorting it out. 6. Teenage boys, the ones I remember and the ones I know now, are not a bunch of leering, creepy potential rapists unable to control themselves at the sight of a teenage girl in leggings or a mini skirt or whatever. And treating them as though they are is a huge disservice. And boys who do behave in such a manner (and sadly, I do know they are out there too) are not going to be stopped by being surrounded with "modestly" dressed girls because the problem is in their own attitudes and beliefs about girls and women and that too is a parenting problem not to be solved by a school or a dress code, though I wish it could be. 7. Teenage girls who notice and admire teenage boys and want to be noticed back and dress accordingly are not skanky or trampy or bad. 8. Some teenagers decide to have sex (this is not a new thing that came about because of leggings lol). Some are responsible about it (yes, teenagers can be responsible even when they are choosing sex) and some are not. 9. Some teenagers decide not to have sex. This is the choice that parents like best and while they have influence they do not get to make the decision. OK, maybe if you spend every single minute with them until their weddings, but that would be really yucky. 10. Dress codes that are based girls not distracting boys and are enforced with shaming and fall disproportionately on girls with curves are about adults not being comfortable with most of my preceding points. 11. Dress codes can be good because teenagers often have very poor taste in clothing. This is also not new and someday today's teens will laugh at old pictures of themselves as they moan about the poor taste of their own teenage offspring.

Summer for us will include two weeks of nature explorer camp, just mornings. Dd did it last summer and loved it. I want to finish up second grade Singapore. That may be a bit ambitious, but I would like to try. Dd and Dh are going to just do the summer reading program at the library, so just encouraging leisure time relaxed reading with no phonics or grammar. And then we have a couple trips. The summer will fly by like it always does lol.

Sorry your family is being so insensitive. My dd has NLD too. I used to get called out for being over protective too (well, actually for being protective, which is my job IMO) but at least my family would not do it in front of dd. I guess I should have more gratitude for that. I think kids with NLD often look a lot more capable than they are. People sometimes do not want to believe that there is more going on than what they can see in front of them. It hurts to hear what your dd had to deal with in school. She sounds awesome :). I am so glad that you were able to take her out of ps. In your shoes I guess I would err on the side of defending my child and myself and worry way less about the respectful part. Her needs trump theirs. I wouldn't try to be mean about it, but firm. I also, and I am sure this would not be the preferred choice for lots of people, would let them know that they are making visits unpleasant and that I would have no problem taking a break from contact if they don't show me more respect/support. Maybe give them the option of expressing their concerns to you privately if they must. One of the things that helped with my family is telling them that with NLD we should be thinking of her as 75% of her chronological age, not intellectually but emotionally. I read that in one of my many NLD books lol. So then my family's expectations of her were lowered a bit as far as what she was expected to be able to do or as far as her level of maturity. And seeing me parenting her as I would a bit younger child did not seem so off to them. I also took pains to point out that this difference becomes less important as she grows up. ETA: My Dd would have a very hard time functioning under that level of negative scrutiny. It would make her really anxious.

This makes me kind of glad that my dd is almost nine and will be finishing with dolls before too long. She only plays with them now if her friends want to. I don't expect Mattel to do great things.

I didn't know there was a normally accepted age. I don't think there should be. Let her have her comfort in privacy and peace is what I would do.

This is my impression, that it is more of a sport lol, or a mental exercise. And I agree, it is fun to do that sometimes. But I am wondering, do people change their minds or the minds of others? Because I agree that it does not seem like that happens very often. But the possibility that we have more in common than we might expect, I sort of like that idea.

There is a small (religious lol) college in Iowa that has a naked coed soccer game every year. It is a long tradition and they keep the date and time secret to cut down on the spectators. Apparently there is a lot of interest in watching college age athletes play naked soccer lol. When dd was three we went to Miami and of course to the beach. We did not realize until after we parked and walked quite a way (with all our gear) that it was a nude beach. It was pretty deserted so we figured we would just stay. Eventually more people showed up and I wondered what dd would think about it. SHE DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!!! She was having fun digging and playing in the surf and chasing seagulls and didn't seem phased at all that she was surrounded by naked people. We also vacationed in Majorca and there were lots of women, all ages and various shapes, going topless and nobody seemed to care, including us. I think we make way to much about it here.

Dh has been very solicitous with the gin and tonics so patience please. It has been a while since I had one. And I am really not an alcoholic, though I am sure that is what all alcoholics say. So, what I am gathering, from your responses so far, is that the diversity of opinions and resulting spirited debate is valuable and that in the process plenty of common ground is uncovered, and on a regular basis. Would this be accurate?

So all these modesty threads have me thinking, which is a good thing usually ;). And what I am thinking is that we, as regular people, are being divided by the rhetoric of politicians (on both sides) and talking head media types who make their livings being shocking and controversial and that it is time for all of us to just wise the eff up. I also think there is a tendency for people, in debates over social and political issues, to default to extremes. So, I think it might be very instructive and interesting if we, as a fairly diverse group, were to sort of look for some common ground. I maybe am being a hopeless optimist and maybe that gin and tonic Dh made for me a bit ago was just too strong, but it seem like it might be a good thing to look for agreement rather than disagreement.

Plus, I have seen men with bare breasts here (sorry, not trying to be mean or anything but at a certain BMI men do get them) and fair is fair. Everyone should be wearing a shirt or it should be optional for everyone.

Yes. Even though Georgia Mom and I are on completely different pages when it comes to politics and religion, when I read her reply I found that we really share a lot of common ground on this. We are more in agreement than disagreement.