My auntie turns 99 this week. She's in the kitchen baking cupcakes with two of her sisters (also in their 90s), arguing about who will make a better president. None of them are citizens. They don't vote. And they're in there arguing like they're heavily invested in this election! You can tell they're getting mad at each other when they switch away from using English LOL. I don't know why but I'm amused by the sight that even in their 90s, they're still bickering like kids. I guess you never outgrow being someone's annoying sister. :lol:

I think it depends on the kid. I'd have blown right through that money as a freshman. My baby sister (math major) would have budgeted it to last, and probably made more off of it by investing some. LOL I'm not opposed to the idea of handing over the money, but I think it'd be more the exception than the rule. I agree that it's a great way to hone and demonstrate money management skills, but that it's such a MAJOR THING that for someone still working on those skills there are better options for honing and demonstrating proficiency. That is, college costs are too pricey and dicey an investment to LEARN ON. The same can be done with a job and paying for living expenses. Or, if a job is not desirable (by the parents) then an allowance and paying for living expenses. :thumbup1: I'd compromise with the student and set up an allowance situation wherein (s)he is responsible for living expenses and social time, but I'd cover the tuition and related expenses out of the lump sum ... which would be re-invested in part, so it could grow over the 4-5 years the student is in college. And I'd call that the kid's first lesson in investing: I can make more with it than you can at this point, and you'll thank me later. (We all had scholarships and our parents used their savings to purchase us homes to live in. These rental properties housed us and brought in passive income while we were students; they continue to bring in income decades later. That's just one example of how a family's college savings can be re-invested. A parent's account may accrue more interest than a student's, too - another way that lump sum can grow more. Kids don't necessarily think of or know these things.)

I bought my 4th grader First Form French and turned her loose. I don't actively teach it, but I help her with it when she needs it. She's highly motivated to work through it, I have to remind her it's an "elective" and comes AFTER her mom-mandated classes! She watches tv and movies in French and loves French music CDs. I buy her kiddie books in French and we read those at bedtime so she can work on pronunciation and dialogue. The philosophy I had with my older homeschooler is: Latin in upper elementary through high school. Language of your choice in middle school - conversational, not a formal study Language of your choice in high school - formal study (grammar, etc.) He's going into his 8th year of Latin. He's conversational in Spanish, a lot of which has to do with where we live! He's formally studying German through dual enrollment. My daughter is more of a language person in general. She's the only one interested in my native language, and the only one of my kids conversational in it. She "taught" herself basic sign language in 2nd grade by working through a picture dictionary. Both her dad and I are multilingual and she appears to have inherited the desire and ability. Even if she never uses these languages as an adult, the practice of studying a language and the drive to self-teach it are priceless. These are skills I wish all of my kids had!

GREAT IDEA!! I love this. This is right up the alley I was thinking of, but couldn't get down on my own LOL. I appreciate the idea!

I just spent an hour on that website, I love it! That's going to be a huge help, thank you.

I delegate this task to my kids now that they're old enough. This year my 11 year old wrote haikus for each father-figure (her dad, my dad, uncles). She printed them onto cardstock and decorated around the haiku. The boys are making beef jerky for everyone. They've done this the last several years for both Father's Day and Christmas.

I was afraid you'd say that!! I'm good at winging it with Asian food, but anything else scares me LOL. I may try it anyway with the ingredients you listed. Including cilantro, yum! LOL

I'm not an attention-to-detail person, plus I'm always running late ... I'd struggle with keeping track of mileage. I'd just as soon overpay my portion of the bill to avoid having to track everything LOL. But I agree that this is the most reasonable solution and that you shouldn't really be involved in this disagreement of theirs. My first reaction was shared by someone else up thread - the car is grounded until the twins figure out their own solution or accept the one I (you) offered. I'm happy to serve as an invited mediator if requested, but more likely I'd rather they get one of my friends or a different relative for the job. We opened up a gas card in their names. It was to help them establish some credit and to serve as a safety net so they never ran out of gas somewhere ... or said, "Sorry, Moms, can't run your errand because I can't afford the gas!" They split the bill. I usually chip in some, just a small amount like $20-30 (about a tank's worth) because I'm a nice lady and I'd rather they run my errands in their car instead of mine. I hate when people move my seat and mirrors! And leave their trash :glare: . Sometimes they come up ahead, sometimes behind. This works because they use the car a pretty equal amount. If one used it significantly more than the other, like to get to work or something, we'd adjust their payments accordingly - say, 1/3 to 2/3 or something.

I have this show saved to my Netflix queue but haven't started it yet. Sounds like Grace and I are going to be fast friends! :lol:

This sounds good, ... is there a good recipe you can recommend?

Very glad to hear this! My son heard about it and asked if we could do it next year. Hopefully it's a hit here, too! My daughter really enjoyed the CCM timeline. Initially, neither of us were "feeling" it, we only did it because they were doing it at her co-op.

I had several close in age, then a five year gap. There are pros and cons, as is true of anything. The "baby" is 10 now. The gap really worried me at first. I way overthought it. It's been pretty awesome. One challenge I had was her trying to keep up with the older kids, and getting ticked by her limitations (size, strength, age) - but that's her personality more than any gap. We joke that she's like a Chihuahua who thinks it's a Great Dane. She has also been a great motivator for the older kids. They're very aware that she has them very high on a pedestal and it doesn't take much for them to reconsider their behavior -- they know she's always watching and picking up their habits, good AND poor. This has been the biggest blessing for me! Congratulations on your growing family! :hurray:

You people with your fancy meals! My favorite go-to summer "meal" is chopped watermelon. Chop that whole thing up, stick it in the center of the table, eat it family style. Lunch is served. Don't like it, don't come back; it's on the menu all week :lol:.

I've never read or seen HP, but I love seeing midlife crisis tattoos! I'm shopping for my midlife crisis car. I wanted something that only seated one, but all that gave me was a UPS van. I'm going to have to settle for something that seats two. And the passenger seat will be reserved for my purse. Or my fast food lunch. Whatever you do, though, don't settle for a tattoo. I've watched a lot of Inkmasters and that never goes over well! :lol:

I relate. I retired a few years ago from a F/T career. I had taken a few 2-4 year long leaves during that career, but even that didn't prepare me for being home full time forever more. I feel fortunate in that my extended family and I work as a very cohesive unit. I know they value and appreciate my contribution to the family. I watch nieces and nephews, allowing their parents to build their careers; I help care for elderly relatives; I do a lot to help the family. And my generation and older all notice it. We're so interdependent that it's impossible to feel undervalued. But the kids and the in-laws and the ex-husband can sometimes be real thorns in my side. And, truly, those are the people (ex-husband and kids) I need to feel valued by. Because they're the ones I'm doing the dirty work for (kids, anyway). I just tell myself I'm too good at making it look too easy LOL. One day I hope to believe that! All that to say, I think we're in the same boat heartlikealion ... and I did send one kid to private school for a year. He asked to come home at the semester and has been a much better kid since (both student and overall citizen of the house that doesn't clean itself). I hope your experience creates the same appreciation in your son and family.

We're a "mixed" household - some have always been homeschooled, some have always been public schooled (IRL and online). I don't identify as a "homeschool parent" the way some of my hs'ing friends do. I mean that, like, it's what I do but not who I am. So to that end I think of it as I do any other duty I have as a parent - such as cleaning, cooking, chauffeuring. I don't LOVE it but it's a part of the responsibility I signed up for. I don't HATE it except for a few days every February during my annual breakdown. But I hate public school that month also, so ... Yes, I'd choose it again. I have no regrets regarding the choices I made for the education of any of my kids. It does impact us in other ways. It frees us up to travel more (the public school kids stayed with relatives before they were old enough to stay home alone), which makes for closer relationships. Those relationships are forged through experiences good and bad, so there are more moments of tension as well. It's the nature of spending all day together. It's allowed my kids to participate in higher level competitive sports with a healthy balance of school, nutrition, and sleep. They aren't trying to squeeze it all in because we can be flexible with school, spreading it over a longer year and being more efficient in general which reduces time-per-day active learning. It's pretty much what I thought it would be. But I'm a planner so I had done my homework about what to expect; I didn't leap into it. I talked to others, read a lot, and talked out the decision with extended family so they could help me discern the challenges I might have.

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. :grouphug: I'm very upset to hear you were verbally slapped in the face on top of it. :mad: People speak without thinking. Even if she believes what she said, that she would say as much to you?? This is why I prefer pets to people. They don't say this kind of stupid sh!t. They just love on you when you need it. And you definitely need it right now. :grouphug:

For me it's situational. If the visitor has kids I plan to do more adapting, but it's generally give-and-take. Kids in this context (to me) would be aged 10 and under. Visitors are an inconvenience, even when we love them. It's a matter of framing it right to suffer get through it. Most kids on the upper end can self-entertain if they wake up early, but not all can or will so I plan for the worst case - which is me waking up on their schedule. It sucks, but I consider it the ugly side of hosting or having visitors LOL. The pretty side is we get a visit. At minimum, my kids get a great visit out of it and I'll do most anything for them :) [That's the crap I have to tell myself on those early mornings so I don't spread my special breed of sunshine 2-3 hours before my normal waking time. It mostly works!] It's hard to go to bed early, or on time even, during summer when the sun is out and you can hear the entire neighborhood enjoying the evening outdoors. The visiting mom has to know that her kids will want to stay up a bit later. I'm not sure where she lives, but this is especially true if she's not used to fighting the late-setting sun. I love Ethel Mertz's idea of a backyard tent. Visiting Mom might be content that they're contained and "working on sleep" in that regard ... but the kids can still visit and wind down. Visiting Kids will drift off sooner; Host Kids may, too, if they're outdoors - but if not, they can self-entertain. Give them a flashlight, call it a night. If she's staying with you, Visiting Mom can be in charge of continental breakfast - serving kids outdoors even, since she'll be up. If only the kids are staying with you, leave out breakfast for them and hope that buys you time. Just as Visiting Kids stayed up a bit later, your family gets up a bit earlier. It all comes out in the wash. If the tent idea won't fly, I'd just let her know that you're concerned about the challenges of a sleepover and say, "Here's the only way it'll work..." and leave it up to her. It may mean plumping everyone down in the living room for a family movie, where her kids may fall asleep early and yours stay up until their normal bedtime. Breakfast still gets left out for the morning. You still wake up earlier, sorry! Intense personalities are challenging. Try to include as much physical and outdoor play as you can. It makes the tent idea all the more appealing LOL. Prep your kids ahead of time with an "out" - e.g., they can say they have to poop or shower and take 5-10 minutes in the bathroom to get a break. We have one intense friend and whenever he comes over I let my kids self-soothe with Skittles. For your kids, maybe it's a soda pop or gum or gluten-free-Paleo-friendly muffins. Bad habit, I'm sure, setting them up to self soothe with sugar but it's a tangible way they can remember to regroup and count quietly to 10. It keeps their mouth occupied instead of screaming, "OMG SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE FOR A MINUTE!" And this is something we learned the hard way after really hurting the feelings of a friend they cared about but who very challenging to be around.

Oh, well we're Asian so we just pile 'em around the door LOL. I have friends who keep them lined neatly at the door, but ... we are of a different (messier) breed. Navigating our entry is like training grounds for clearing landmines. The rack that I spent $30 on to keep them all neat is apparently just for looks. You might have better luck in your house with that, though!

We have shoe cabinets in the garage (our "not everyday" shoes and specialty shoes, like cleats or boots). I sprung for the extra few bucks to buy doors for the cabinets. I say "our" shoes but really I do live in fear of critters making their way into my shoes. So I store my shoes in plastic boxes, which are lined with scented paper or sachets. Those are housed in my laundry room cabinets. Double, triple barrier! But I don't care if my kids' shoes get critters in them. Plus their shoes stink to high heaven. So they get to be in the vented shoe cabinet in the garage LOL. My kids keep hearing about these selfless mothers and wonder where in their past lives their karma went wrong. :lol:

These family stories are amazing. So interesting! My daughter and I love to watch Who Do You Think You Are. She wants so badly to buy the subscription to Ancestry.com. Both sides of her family are first generation immigrants, so I told her she'll have to become a celebrity and make her way onto the show to if she wants to dig deeper. Because that website won't be much help to us. (Can someone confirm that this is actually correct - it's just America, maybe North America, right?!)

I would be, too! I read your post and STILL have shivers - :willy_nilly: - not just any spider, but a Black Widow? Nothanks!

:grouphug: without a doubt. I did until the kids realize I don't have chronic diarrhea every day. About a year ago my daughter discovered that I'm really just hiding in the bathroom with a laptop and soda for 45 minutes after lunch. And she did not keep my secret despite the best of my bribery attempts. I have to force it sometimes, but I get time to relax most days. My kids have started to work together to ensure I get it (hushing each other and physically preventing them from talking or bugging me). They finally realized it makes me nicer to be around! And that if they don't, I lose my shizzle and force them to babysit their cousins so my siblings and I can go out LOL. It's easier for them to just give me an hour of trashy tv in the comfort of our own home!

Yes! Jaybee describes this better than me. Think of those sewing things where you store the spools of thread. That for shoes. You can nail it to the siding or a fence (the shoes will jut out at an angle) or you leave it as a rack on the ground (the shoes will be upright and upside down).

Well the only pigs on my property live inside :lol: but we're Asian so we're big on the leave your shoes at the door thing! For muddy shoes and boots you need something that hangs the shoes upside down. Think of a "graveyard of broomsticks" kind of thing where the ends of a dowel are screwed into a bottom shelf (like the one the shoes are resting on in the picture you linked). And then you place the shoes upside down on the other end of the dowel. The shoes will be soles up. No rain, no snakes, and shouldn't be any spiders; we've never had any, especially if the shoes are used everyday - or multiple times each day!