Ours is not as racially integrated as it ought to be. We do not reflect the community we are in. There is a desire among leadership and many of the members I talk with to be more diverse, but it hasn't happened yet. The leadership is intentional about bringing people of various ethnicities in to preach. They are doing many different things to help create an atmosphere conducive to racial reconciliation and increased diversity. I think it's difficult. Chicago has lots of diversity, but not lots of racial reconciliation. Our church is primarily single, young, urban professionals. the ethnic diversity we do have is minimal and still fits the young, urban professional description. Yet our new building is located in Cabrini Green. On one side of the church there are the expensive townhomes that are the result of gentrification. On the other side of the church are the rowhouses of what is left of the public housing that once filled the area. The differnce is stark and obvious to even someone who knows nothing of Chicago history. There is misunderstanding and mistrust that goes both ways. The church is forming partnerships with ministries and groups in the area to help build trust and to raise awareness among our members of to issues facing the community we are in. It is going to be a long road, but I am glad we are taking steps that direction.

My dds have been reading these over my shoulder. They just read this one. My ds age 4 had a blank look on his face until he said the words. His face was a great look of shock after he said the last one and quickly put his hand over his mouth. "Oh" he says, as he understands why his older sister was laughing.

I have adopted three African-American children. I am blonde and have very fair complexion. We do get questions, but most of them are polite and coming from curious people. I have been asked where they are from because people tend to think they look Jamaican or Ethiopian. That is an easy question to answer. The questions I don't like hearing are ones that refer to their "real" parents or ones asking if they are "real" siblings. I tend to try to educate people and answer, "I am their real mother, but yes I have met their biological mothers." Once, at the grocery store, my then 6 year old dd was holding her 1 year old brother. (No, they are not biologically siblings, but they are real siblings.) The cashier asked if he was her brother. she said, "Yes." The cashier pushed, "I mean your real brother." My dd said, "Well, he eats real food, he really cries, he doesn't seem pretend to me. So he is my real brother."

We were on a playdate with another family from church last night at that time. They have better air conditioning than we do and invited us to come over. Time got away from us and we stayed longer than I typically would. Thankfully, we got home before the big storm hit. Typical weekday nights for us begin with me making dinner while the children play out in the yard with neighbors. After dinner they do their dinner chores and we read a story. Then they follow their bedtime routine - baths, jammies, brush teeth, 10 minute tidy - and it's lights out by 7:30. I try to stick to the schedule fairly rigidly because it really helps when new children come to the house if we have a schedule the others are already trained to follow.

I would be up for it. My son's medical issues may make it impossible for me to travel without children though since I am a single mom and they don't have a dad to stay home with them.

I feel like this summer has been a boot camp in my home. I spend a large pecentage of each day correcting behaviors, teaching polite speech, and demonstrating the proper way to complete tasks. I don't know what it is that has made it seem so completely time consuming. It seems as soon as we get one area under control, another behavior or attitude emerges. Parenting has taken so much more energy than it used to, and we are not having near as much fun as we used to. I am thinking maybe we need a little more fun even though the house is unorganized, bedtime did not go smoothly, and I don't really feel they "deserve" it. Tomorrow I am planning a day of playing Monopoly, Old Maid, and splashing in the pool. I am hoping that having fun together will be good for all of us and break this pattern we seem to be in. What has worked for others when you find yourselves and your children in a seemingly endless cycle of disobedience and discipline?

A good friend of mine does this. They are in the city, so they do small dog rescue. They have the sweetest little dog that they were blessed to adopt. They just cared for one foster dog until he diesd a few weeks ago. It was a very old dog who was deaf and blind, but such a sweet, gentle dog. It was very sad the day it died. They have had a few dogs that have died because they were so sick or old when they came. They seem to really enjoy caring for the dogs though in spite of the occasional sadness.

I could ship the possum that haunts my yard out your way and he will take care of all the squash! I have basically decided our squash will simply be sacrificed to the possum. It's a fair enough trade to me because he is leaving the rest of the garden untouched at least!

I did all three of those with my dd. It didn't feel like too much at all. They were all different enough from each other that she enjoyed and learned from each one. I saw in your signature that you use Horizons for math. We do too. It looks like we have a similar taste in curriculum.

Thanks! This will be a big help!

I am a single mom with three of my own and up to three "foster" at any given time. When I hear snide comments, I generally respond cheerfully, "I'd rather be busy than bored!" My grandmother acted starngely when she heard I was planning to adopt my dd. I found out later she was not letting herself get excited for me because she was afraid the adoption would fall through. She thought if she shared my excitement, the excitement might grow and the disappointment would be even greater if the adoption fell through. She had also heard enough stories of traumatic adoption situations to make her fear the concept of adoption all together. Maybe there is something you MIL is not sharing that is fueling her comments? Congratulations on your upcoming adoption!

My situation is unusual. I am a single mom. I technically do not work because I do not draw a paycheck. However, I take care of children in crisis situations and am on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I do get a large house for my children and I to live in, but I do not get any money for doing it. I do raise support to cover the cost of utilities and the care of the additional children. That is all reimbursemenmt though - not income. Since I adopted my children through the foster care system, and they have special needs, they still get adoption subsidies. By living frugally, I am able to support us on that and stay home with my children. All in all it is a very good arrangement. We get the things I would like to provide my children with - a large house and a yard to play in. We get to give back to society and love children who need to be loved. I get to be here to experience life with my children. I am thankful daily for the life we get to live.

I think my kids would enjoy making pickles. Maybe I will try out that recipe. I always assumed that making pickles was p[robably more complicated than that.

My cucumber plants are certainly the most prolific thing in the garden right now. I have more than we can eat raw. Is there a way to keep them for later? Are there any recipes to add variety? Thanks, Hive!

Your children should be fine, but don't let them be around children who have blood disorders like sickle cell. Fifth's Disease shuts down the bone marrows production of red blood cells. Typically healthy people don't even notice this, but kids with sickle cell get very sick. My son was in the hospital a week for blood transfusions when he caught it. Hope they are feeling better very soon!

I couldn't check "varies," so I checked three. I have three that are mine, but I do emergeny care for up to three others at a time. I usually have 4 or 5 children, but sometimes only 3 and sometimes as many as 6. You never know around here!

You can come hang out over here! You can help pick weeds in our garden. You can help plan fun things for our Cubbies in AWANA this fall - it will be here soon. My ds would love to have another boy around to play with. Seriously, give me a call sometime soon. I don't have much on the schedule for next week. There is a class on butterflies at North Park Nature Center coming soon. Your kids are just the right ages. I do remember times like you describe when I just had the two girls and they were younger. I remember the isolation and the sense of needing to have something more to do. As they got older that seemed to change, but it feels like it takes so long.

My dd was just baptized at North Street Beach! I like that you can park at Lincoln Park Zoo and visit the zoo too. The Chicago History Museum and the Nature Museum are all right there too, so North Street Beach would be my northside choice.

I did it once a few years ago in honor of all the chemo kids we meet at the hospital with my ds.

I hear you. The homeschool group at my church is at 10 in the morning. We went last year, but I am seriously considering dropping it this school year. it takes energy and creativity to get them back into school afterwards. I am not sure it's worth it to me right now.

I love it. I will be trying to create a version of it. I like how you have the green page right there too ensuring that it stays set up properly.

I plan to tell her that. I have an overactive imagination, and none of it was pleasant!

She called! We couldn't talk because she couldn't hear me on her cell. I don't know where she is. There were people talking in the background. I am guessing they are on a vacation. She sounded far away. Thanks for the prayers and advice.

I talked to a friend last night whose husband is a police officer. He said the Chicago police have so many other things that this would not even get attention. I will keep trying to reach her husband. Hopefully she is visiting family out of own. Maybe she lost her cell phone or something? I don't know. I am trying to think of explanations that ease my worry.

I have not heard from her. I want to try and go by her house, but there is a gate around it that is only unlocked when you buzz from inside. I don't know that neighbors would notice if they are there or not because of all the privacy stuff. You certainly can't tell if cars are parked there or not. The buzzer rings the phone which isn't being answered, so ringing the bell wouldn't do much good. I can't find a direct line to her husband on-line. I would have to go through agents and assistants to reach him, and I am not sure that would work well. I sent a second text message now that we know the date the baby is leaving. hopefully I will hear back from her.