Coming back to add that late night texting is another problem. We turn her WIFI off at 10:00 on weeknights and 12:00 on weekends. This is terribly "embarrassing" to dd. She claims no one else is treated in such a babyish fashion. And she is right, I have asked the parents of several of her friends and these kids do indeed have full access to their phones all night long. Some of thee kids are as young as 13 and 14! And anything discussed past bedtime is usually drama drama drama, which is terrible for healthy sleep habits. Dd struggles with insomnia so I am not about to budge on this. But it is probably the biggest disagreement we have with her. She is so mortified that she will not even tell anyone, including her boyfriend, that her WIFI gets shut off. He just thinks she ghosts him every night at 10:00.....sometimes mid-conversation. I have encouraged her to make us the "bad guys" and tell everyone that her stupid parents are mean mean MEAN. I am totally cool with that. But it is still just too embarrassing for her to bring up.

What do you do if the things that distract them on the phone are also available on their laptop? Dd takes online classes and uses her laptop in some capacity for almost every subject. Some form of texting (be it hangouts, iMessage, etc....) is really the biggest source of distraction for dd. She is 15 and all of her friends are in school. If there are any rules about phone use in school, they are NOT being enforced as she has a steady stream of texts coming in all. day. long. She often turns off her notifications so she doesn't see them but I work out of the home for most of the day and *I* need her to see my texts. Also, being the only homeschooled kid in her friend group, we try really hard to not put restrictions on her that makes it even harder for her to connect with her friends. Plans and rides are often settled during school and I don't want her to lose the ability to coordinate. But she does not need the other 500 texts a day.

I have been thinking about this thread over the last few days. It hits a nerve with me because we are currently engaging in an ongoing discussion with some close friends over the very same topic. We both have (oldest) kids of the age where college discussions are starting. We both could fall into the self-pay category. And we both "could" afford just about any option but not without some serious sacrifice in retirement savings, house projects, travel, and other not-100%-necessary but important-to-us expenses. All four parents work in academia for the same state university. These are very close friends and we are more "family" than friends. Our kids are best friends. Both of the kids in question are quite bright, test high, and are ambitious. But neither is likely to land significant merit aid. And neither is expected to start college with a clear major in mind. Dh and I do not plan to write a blank check for any college direction dd might chose. We are encouraging dd to consider attending our home (state) university. We would not require her to live at home, but being local, we could economize on living options and we get a tuition break based on our employment. She could graduate 100% debt free if she takes that route. She certainly would be able to get into far more prestigious colleges. She is free to consider other options but there will be clear limits on how much we are willing to pay for those options and that loans would be required to make up the rest. We are also already discussing different majors and the job prospects attached to those....and how loan repayment fits into those parameters. We are certainly not making any decisions FOR dd but we are limiting our financial contribution by capping it to what attending our home university would cost. Dh and I both paid for college ourselves, with a LOT of loans, so we feel what we are willing to contribute is quite generous. Other couple think that "the college experience" (being far from home, dorm living, etc....) is very VERY important....almost to the point of "forbidding" their dd to even think of attending our home university. They feel that choice of major should not take job prospects into consideration. Loan repayment is not a concern as they will fully fund all college expenses for any direction their dd choses. Also, interestingly, their own college expenses were 100% covered by their parents and they graduated debt free. Dd is not spoiled and understands our position. She is grateful that we are able and willing to help her at all. But does feel like her friend has the whole world open to her with no restrictions while dd has more to think about when making her college decisions, even though both families have similar economic resources. I don't know that this is a bad thing, necessarily, but can say dd notices the difference. They (the other couple) think what we are doing is almost abusive. Not just dickering over who pays for what or limiting what we will pay for, but by encouraging her to consider staying close. It is "stifling" and "helicoptering" and dd will "never learn to grow up." This is not an uncommon theme from other parents in my area. Most of these parents are also tied to the university so we really all do have a front row seat to student life. We all tend to fall into the two solid camps that our friends and we do. It's either, this is a pretty good deal, this is a pretty good school, this town is big enough for our kids to have most of the "college experience" without breaking the bank. Or it's, our kids are too familiar with out local university to get the "college experience," they will never learn to grow if they don't go off somewhere new, and "why wouldn't you want your kid to aim higher than a non-flagship state school?" It surprises me how entrenched each side seems to be on this. Many a heated discussion has taken place over this. I can see both sides. But when it comes down to it, almost ANY college choice has pros and cons. I don't believe there is one single best route. And if you have a kid that is going to thrive in any environment, why purposely choose the $80K/year one when a $20K/year choice will be good as well? Maybe better, maybe worse, but definitely not a $60K/year difference in either direction.

I have a very old house with a running list of MAJOR problems so I know the feeling. We are good friends with a couple of contractors so we have been lucky to be able to get some advice as to prioritizing and getting an idea of costs before decided what to tackle next. And we are always tackling something next. We would move except the location and layout of the house would be hard to replicate and while it costs a small fortune to maintain, the base mortgage is very low, so worth it. No real advice on your specific problems except the windows. Our windows are "modern" (as in 1970s as opposed to 1870s) but were likely cheap. They really need to be replaced but are so far down on the priority list at the moment, they are not likely to be replaced any time soon. Every year, one or two busts a seal and gets foggy. As they go, we get them fixed at our local glass shop. It is about $80 per window. I take the window out, bring it in to be measured, put it back, then return it when the glass comes in to be replaced. It is a pain but far less expensive than replacing the entire windows. For additional costs, they will come to my house to measure and then install. But every penny counts with my house so I do the leg work since my windows are generally small enough that I can manage it.

They are quite common in our area. Our house had a walk-through bedroom at one point before we moved in. Many of dd's friends have them. Since it is common, no one really thinks of it as being a big issue. I say go for it. It doesn't matter what others think if it works for you. Especially if it is temporary and can easily be converted back should you no longer need it or want to sell. Even in a selling situation, you could always call it part of the "master suite" rather than a separate bedroom.

Listening in.....for a friend.....

Thanks! I should have mentioned that I am already on her bank accounts. We did that when I was last visiting her. And she gave me copies of all of her statements so I at least know what bills there are, accounts numbers, and such. So I am not starting from scratch, at least. Most of it could just be converted to online billing which I would just need to oversee, but even getting that to happen is a struggle because that requires my mom to contact each place to set it up. She gets too flustered and never follows through, even if I can get her to agree to it. So, I think I will have to go the POA route.

Please don't quote. I will likely delete later. My mother lives an entire day's drive from me, has no family close to her, and has been diagnosed with dementia. She still lives independently. She does not want to move to my location. I am currently helping her to apply for low income independent senior housing in her area as she can no longer afford to live in her current place. Her dementia is still mild enough that we think she will be OK in a senior apartment where some meals, some transportation, and some community activities are included. At least for awhile. If she lived close to me where I could help her regularly, I'd say she is 100% fine to live on her own yet. Given the distance, assisted living is probably more appropriate, but she is adamant that this is not an option for her at this time. I have agreed to help her get the living situation she wants with the condition that she give up driving and accept help managing her finances. I do have durable POA. Anyone have experience taking over finances for someone in this situation? She does not have much retirement left (which is why we have to move her) so it is important that her remaining resources are tended to carefully. I very recently learned that she has had a lot of trouble keeping track of her affairs and this has resulted in lots of bounced checks, missed payments, late fees, interest, creditors, etc.... I am also concerned about her risk of fraud. She has been taken advantage of a few times now and I don't think unlimited access to lots of cash is smart. Even her cable package is three times as much as it should be because she does not advocate for herself.....or even realize she is being taken. Ideally, she would still have access to spending cash and a low limit CC, but I feel that I need to take over her bills and routine banking. What does this look like? Do I call each account and explain? What is likely to happen next? How lengthy is a process like this? Anyone know if there is such a thing as a bank account for an elderly person with some of her cash in an account accessible to her while the rest is not without a second sign off or something? What about things like her SSI, medicare, and taxes? This has been on my to do list for a long time and the unknown has been paralyzing me. The few calls I have already attempted to try to get info about her car insurance and cable, for instance, have not gone well. The directions for submitting a POA are arduous and confusing, the people suspicious, etc..... Is there some basic "right way to do this" that I am missing?

Perhaps mechanical engineering technology? These degrees/jobs tend more to the applied rather than conceptual. There is still math but not as intense.

I have to make two plans as we await word on whether dd will be accepted into a semester boarding school for fall. Plan 1 At the SS (fall): 1 credit AP Environmental Science 1/2 credit PE 1/2 credit Art 1/2 credit English (more like an elective IMO) 1/2 credit History (more like an elective IMO) At home (spring): 1 credit DE Pre-Calc* 1/2 credit World History III 1/2 credit Literature III 1 credit DE US Government* *Pending university scheduling Plan 2 (all home): 1 credit Pre-Calc by me at home or online with DO 1 credit physics outsourced, DO or Clover Creek 1 credit World History III at home 1 credit Literature III at home 1 credit DE US Government OR home 1/2 credit split of US Gov and Econ. 1 credit of ??????, likely DE

Many 13 yos need help with this. I agree with others to just make it part of the non-negotiable routine and to be frank about the necessity of it. Is she in sports? I have a 15yo who trains almost daily year-round for her sport so daily showering is automatic and has been for years. Otherwise I would have enforced it.

This happens to me then I have a lot of sugar. I don't have a sweet tooth so I am not partial to sweet foods but even a single hard candy or a cough drop can do it. Soda, beer, and juice do it too.

Can anyone in the know give me a comparison between Clover Creek and Derek Owens (regular and/or honors) Physics? I have a solid-math, STEM-interested kid who will be taking physics either next year (11th grade) or the following (12th grade). She is currently taking Clover Valley Honors Chemistry and barely hanging on. She had WTMA Biology last year and it was disappointingly unchallenging for her. And DO Physical Science in 8th grade, which was also pretty low-pressure. So science seems to be all over the place for her. She does seem to need a lot of access to real time help, which I think DO could be low on? OTOH, I am strong in physics while not much help in chemistry and biology, so can provide more assistance.

Probably not very helpful but my dd uses different color text for different sections and/or types of notes within a single document. Then she cuts and pastes them into her outline and goes from there. She has done the notecard method too and finds this similar but less time consuming.

I like that!

I had a glass top for about 15 years. The oven died a dramatic and spectacular death in the middle of Christmas cookie baking a few years ago and now I have a gas stove, with I much prefer. One thing I do miss about my glass top was using it as extra counter space. That is probably a huge no no, but when it was off and cold, I could put buffet dishes on it when we had guests. Or pile up the groceries to go in the fridge (which as next to it) after shopping. This was great in my small kitchen. It took some effort to keep clean. But no more effort than my gas stove and less than coil electrics. But the real reason I posted is to chime in on the canning. I can a LOT of food every year. I never had a problem canning on the glass top, both water bath and pressure canner. The directions for my stove did not say not to and I started well before I could easily borrow trouble via Google. I had no idea it was a no no until I had been doing it for years. My only beef was the slowness to cool meant having to move the pressure canner off the stove at the end of each cycle, which always made me nervous. Same with cast iron. I cook almost exclusively in cast iron of all sizes. After 15 years, there was minor scratching from all sorts of things, but it still looked really nice as it was being loaded up in the recycle truck.

Dd actually started this credit last spring so it is to be completed by the end of this month. If I extended it, I feel I would need to award more credit, with I am reluctant to do since she will have another PE class next year.

Thanks for the suggestions. I was thinking 1/2 credit each of PE and health but felt it was too slim on the health side. Or one full credit of sport's health or training health or something.....since I think it is worth one full credit but it screwed more toward the PE side.

Maybe someone has some ideas for me to consider. Dd is doing "PE" this year. This is a graduation requirement in my state. It turns out dd will also earn PE credit at the semester school she is planning to attend next year. Had I known that, she would have spent that time on another subject this year but she is almost done now. So now her transcript is going to be heavy on the PE credits. No big deal. But as I was thinking about this, I wondered if the PE credit she is currently earning might not be adequately named as it seems to encompass more than typical PE content. Here is what I am requiring for successful completion of the credit (keep in mind that dd is a pretty serious athlete and this was tailored with that interest in mind): 180 hours of documented physical activity Analysis of the data gathered from that documentation (pace, heart rate, distance, etc.....) A pre-class two-page paper describing dd's goals, how she will measure/assess success, potential barriers, etc..... A post-class two-page (not including tables and charts) paper summarizing if those goals were met, if not, why, methods for improvement, things she learned, etc.... This includes data analysis from her recorded activities. Reading three books, of dd's choice with my approval, on the topics of fitness, nutrition, general health, training, injury-prevention, etc, with a write up of each book, summarizing the content and what dd can apply to her own health/fitness. Selection of six new healthy meals, to be prepared for her family, with a short written summary of what she learned, what she would improve next time, difficulties, etc....

I do all of the laundry in my house. My dh and dd are capable of doing their own but it is more efficient to do everyone's together as no one would have full loads before running out of essential items. Plus, our laundry is in a very public part of our living space. I want laundry done as infrequently and efficiently as possible so that area is not a constant mess. I do not fold underwear. I do fold everything else. I put mine and dh's away. We share drawers and it just doesn't make sense to leave his when it takes no more time to put his away. I drop dd's laundry basket of folded clothing inside her room. She puts her own away.

Anyone have their high schooler read this? Or read it themselves? Dd is reading SWB's History of the Medieval World and this was cited in one of the chapters. Dd expressed an interest in reading it so I am contemplating slipping it in as her next literature read next month. I cannot find much about it but have found a translated edition that seems to be highly-rated.....for $40 I hesitate to spend that much if there is good chance it will be too difficult and/or boring for a 15 yo.

Us too. That is why it sometimes takes two days to get through one video.

We went to this too. Dd really needs to write down all of the notes, even if it means stopping the lecture to keep up. And then she re-writes the notes. I know this adds a lot of time but she was just not retaining the information without doing these steps.

Just for contrast, my dd is in this class as well. It is very well done and she is learning a great deal. I highly recommend it. But she spends FAR more time than this. She is at about two hours per weekday and another two hours over most weekends. Most videos are between 30-60 minutes and it takes dd twice that time to get through them as she stops to do the exercises and occasionally has to replay sections. Dd is bright, motivated, and so far an A student, but not academically gifted.

Interesting. I did get my providers mixed up. FundaFunda is fall only and one semester. I have no experience with Thinkwell but it does appear to be a year-long class although it could be done in one accelerated semester. Since I would be choosing between this and a DE class which likely covers the same amount of content, it may be workable for us.