sometimes, if we're raised by an opposite personality type, we come to believe their way is the "right" way, our natural way becomes subverted and doesn't get the practice to mature fully, with, hmmm, interesting, results. so particularly with "P", being raised by "J"s, in a culture that values "J" norms, can be a hard thing. must go "do the next thing". can you tell me why you think you are instinctively a "P"? and how do make your best decisions? ann

under stress, people frequently revert to opposite personality type. it is a "what i usually do isn't working because i'm so stressed, so let's do it differently" kind of thing. the J/P can be the first to change. it would make sense when what you do by calling/profession requires lots of personal interaction that you may test out that way occasionally. but also the I/E difference is how you regain your energy and centre, not whether or not you like being with people. the one question "when you're tired, would you rather stay home and read a book or go to a party?".... is answered pretty consistently. when you do the test, you should be asked to answer from your "at home" self or your "at work" self. sometimes we exhibit different parts when we are in different environments. people who are happiest have work environments that match who they are at home, too :001_smile: ps. the short test varies in results a lot more than the long test, as there are only a few questions for each indicator on the short test.

the Before Five in a Row books almost all became best loved in our household. i read them to them from the time they were really, really small. Jessie Bear what will you wear? was an unexpected favourite! ann

ooooooh, goood, that makes 3 :001_smile:

:grouphug: good boundaries make healthy relationships. decide now how you will handle the next phone call. then do it pleasantly. if she is an addict, and was under the influence the last time you spoke, she may not even remember. or she might, but not accurately. i'd vote for pleasant, firm on the boundaries, and reflective listening. also a timer you can set that goes off a few minutes in and allows you to say "oops, there goes the timer. must dash". as it appears that she will have trouble setting boundaries, you will need to. just look at all the practice you're getting! (sigh....) :grouphug:

this isn't a matter of keeping your word. you didn't know you would feel this badly trying to do it. you gave it a try. it didn't work well for you. sometimes simple truth is best. i would call them, tell them that my health is suffering due to trying to plan for both and that i needed to honor God's call to homeschool our children. full stop. there are other bits to that truth, but that is the deal-breaker. i would say that means that i can't do the bible study, but that i would be willing to do the first one this sunday and hope that someone else comes forward to lead it, if they thought that was best. if not, maybe someone else could do the first one. my experience is that if people truly value something, they will find a way to keep it going. if they don't, they won't. or they won't, and then they'll miss it and resurrect it. hth, ann

there's a great book called "do what you are: discover the perfect career fo ryou through the secrets of personality type" by Paul Tieger and Barbara Barron. it matches jobs to MB personality types. definitely worth a read.... hth, ann

is there a netflix list for SOTW parts 1 & 2? that would be sooooo good :)

where is that tea and chocolate icon when you need it most??!! even doing the right thing (which this is) can be very, very hard, so here is you - a sad angel.... but an angel nevertheless. :angelsad2: :grouphug: ann

maybe you and or your mom could give her an early christmas present of $150- for her to consult a lawyer once? hth, ann

something that has helped me - a lot - was a tip from "peaceful parents, peaceful kids". imagine a wonderful peaceful place where you have been. notice the sounds, the smells, the feelings. now, when your MIL makes you angry, in your mind, visit your peaceful place. dh teases me that my record was 17 trips to Champagne pond - in ONE afternoon visit with his dear mom. lol... but it works. another fast technique when you're afraid you'll say something you regret is to yawn. for reasons i can't remember, it makes us more relaxed (well, that one's perhaps self evident) AND it makes us more empathetic. i'm not sure more empathy will help you, but anything that slows down the things i so desperately WANT to say helps me ; ) maybe take your kids for a walk? that would give you all a break. a simple "okay, outside time" would remove you all from her presence for a short time. and get all those nice endorphines flowing. :grouphug: ann

what is WWE?

hi chris - is she college bound? if so, then maybe she could look at available scholarships, etc. if she has a profession in mind, she could look to see if being bilingual english/spanish offers a hiring and/or pay preference. certainly in the health care industry, it is a distinct advantage. once she's done her research, then i'd still let her make her choice... but now more factors are going into making the decision. hth, ann

our YMCA opens this month; we can hardly wait. we've been without one since moving here 12 years ago! ann

lovely news! i'm grinning happily for you. the maybe-not-so-good news is that when nursing i would develop a sore spot about where you describe, and it was a clogged duct : ( hoping its smooth sailing, ann

soul searching is a good thing :001_smile: in response to one of the responding posters: homosexuality is not a result of mental illness. full stop. folks come that way, about 2 in 20, and have, forever and ever, amen (near as we can figure). as part of my previous work life, i met many homosexuals, both male and female (about 2 in 20 of my clients). by and large, they had just about the same problems as most other folks... and the same joys. there were (and continue to be) a few added difficulties related to hospital access to their spouses, spousal benefits, etc. and they encounter orientation-based prejudice sometimes, too. i can't think of any non-faith based reasons for it to be a problem, and quite frankly, as a pastor, i can't think of any faith-based reasons, either. there are 8 kinds of marriage outlined in the bible, and i wouldn't want any one of them for myself or my daughters. (marriage by r$pe, marriage to your spouse's brother or uncle or father or or or if you become widowed (leverite marriage), marriage arranged at a price with a family your father selects, marriage as a 2nd or 3rd or 4th wife, marriage where your husband also has concubines, marriage as a spoil of war (the winner + the female slave), forced marriage between two slaves at the will of their owner, marriage where your husband also avails himself of his female slaves.) the best of the lot is the arranged marriage at a price. sigh..... conversely, there are many passages about justice, and about loving one another as we would want to be loved. so maybe the litmus test on this one is "what shows the greatest justice and love?" great can of worms ;) ann

i'll add Mrs. Santa Claus and Trapped in Paradise (definitely a grade B movie, but my brother has a bit part, and it was filmed in Niagara on the Lake, where my mom lives... and its sweet, in an odd sort of way) and each year we make sure to watch the cartoon version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and The Nutcracker. Christmas is coming! ann ps. editting to add that we have a sweet spot for Little Bear's Winter Solstice celebration, too.

so rosie, what was the name of that book??!! tia, ann

for the yearly recital, each class dances only once. if you take two or more classes, you may end up in both shows. for the yearly ballet (a story told in dance), there are three or more performances on two days, depending on how many schools buy tickets for the friday shows. some years, its only one friday and one saturday, other years, its been three on friday and two on saturday! but for each time, its one costume per class. so if you take more than one class, well, you can see where this is heading. i bought 5 costumes for this weekends recital, as both dds do ballet and tap, and then one is doing a pre-point class as well. but their teachers coordinated, and they do all their dances in the second show.:001_smile::thumbup: but with our studio, the performances are optional, so some girls dance all year and don't perform, due to cost. and at least once, they chose a different costume for us because the one they had picked was just too expensive. i am going to our local dance store this afternoon if you want to pm me the size and model leotard you need, i can ask... ann

we left a competition winning dance studio to go with a "local" studio that focuses more on children and not at all on competition.... and have never looked back. we are soooo much happier, and dds are dancing MORE not less! there's a lot to be said for working with rational folks! ann

hi - i'm not an aussie, but we spend a month a year there. (this year it was darwin and the red centre : ). we did listen to the aussie parts of SOTW as background, but for our older dds (mid-late teens when they read them), what stuck was the historical fiction series "the australians". it isn't suitable for younger kids, but i enjoyed it. the treatment of women in that time period was not good, so some of the reading was hard. they remembered more history after that than they ever did before. i think having a story line and people to relate to helps them remember. i'll be watching the thread to see what else is out there. maybe there are some documentaries? australian geographic produced some great dvds about each section of the country, and some of those go into aboriginal and early settler history as it relates to the landscape. hth, ann

we're big fans of "teach you children to read well" http://www.teachyourchildrenwell.ca/reading/General/tyctoreadwellintroduction.htm it is a canadian program, but uses american spellings. the cost is quite reasonable. you do need the teacher's manual. it is scripted, but after a few weeks, it became second nature. it is phonics based, and they do get a brief review of one phoneme each lesson, as well as word meanings, reading for comprehension AND fluency, which for us is a big one. when 3rd dd was 6, she finished her reading program early, tested out at a mid-grade 2 level here in the USA. i had this on the shelf and pulled it out so she would feel like she was doing something. and she tested out at the beginning of grade 1, Canadian standards. so if you decide to look at it, do the placement tests; they are accurate for determining which level, it may just be lower numerically than you would expect. hth, ann

i came to post what almost everyone else has said. travel and vacation would be our vote. you just have to clean (and pay to heat and cool- this is not a trivial consideration!) more space. most people in the world live in much smaller spaces than we do. one year, we didn't travel, and put in solar panels. we now heat and cool for free, and travel. the house is still 2100 sq ft for six people, 4 adults + 2 tweens, and it is a fine size. i can't begin to call it small... i would like to redo the kitchen though ; ). its a good question!

one year i bought both the teachers guides and the home instruction guides. i discovered i used the teachers guides daily, and the home instruction guide only occasionally. the difference for me was in the teaching style, and i love the way singapore teachers help lead their students to knowledge rather than giving it to them. fwiw ann

they are definitely legit. i do best with kayak.com, though i do get travelzoo emails regularly.... kayak let's you ask for updates on a route you are interested in, and i've gotten some great deals that way. but you have to be ready to pay then and there.... they go quickly. hth ann