We are not religious but we celebrate Christmas as a Christian holiday. To do otherwise I think is the equivalent of showing up for a Seder and not taking part in the rituals. Just saying, "Thanks but we're just here for the food." Or observing Bastille Day but wishing it were, "Just a little less French." I see it the same way I see other cultural events I might observe. I don't leave out the most important element. I would have put "symbolic religious holiday" if I had read the posts before voting.

I think there are people who prefer being withholding to getting gifts. Emotional blackmail...the gift that keeps on giving. I'm with you. My husband and I are pretty explicit in the gifting requests. We usually have a very good idea of what our presents will be and neither of us have a problem with that. I don't feel guilty for being able to afford things when others can't. It doesn't change my views on gifting. Presents aren't a need. It doesn't mean I don't feel compassion and the duty of charity but its not attached to any feelings I have about myself. Children do have too many things, mine included, and it troubles me. But they didn't get them at the expense of a child that doesn't have many things so I don't see those things as related.

We agreed that it was really 100x easier for the wearer to check pockets before removing pants rather than the person already undertaking to do all of the laundry to go through every pair of pants on top of sorting and treating and everything else. Its not fool proof but its worked pretty well.

My mother texts and my grandparents in the U.S. all email. Their friends are all on email and have cell phones. They also all smell just fine.

I love getting presents. Its just another kind of selfish to want to do all the giving but never let people reciprocate in a genuine manner. Its withholding and controlling.

Sure. What could go wrong? :rolleyes: We had co-ed dorms by floor at one of my colleges but my grandparents, with whom I lived at that time, insisted I stay in the all-girls dorm a.k.a "the nunnery". Wow. Was that a misnomer. I shudder to think of what it would have been like if the boys had been more readily available.

I don't know why but this made me laugh. I pictured you handing her some supplies and then whipping out a box of chocolates with a, "Oh and you'll definitely be needing these." :lol:

My poor father congratulated me awkwardly and I wanted to die on the spot. I was very much in a go-about-your-business-nothing-to-see-here mode. Not sure if I'll do anything. Food for thought.

It is absolutely fantastic! It will be a much loved resource I'm sure.

I guess I'm more leary about giving baked things to people than eating things from unfamiliar kitchens. I mean, I eat at restaurants so I'm eating food prepared by people I do not know and there's plenty of evidence that you can get good and sick from doing that. Especially now that we know that employees only have to "wash hands" and not literally wash their hands. :D:tongue_smilie: But I don't want people to have to wonder if I've baked a razor into their Christmas gift so I don't give baked goods to people unless they are people I know very, very well. Those people know to look for the razor. My mail carrier got a box of candy. I also limit my gifting of food to my friends who need it. My friends that can exist without food get a gift card to the bookstore.

The BIL's reaction to the whole thing, "He can't come here anymore", is the most important part here, for me. It points to a rather explosive and controlling reaction to rather ordinary toddler behavior. Even if he is unfamiliar with the way children act you would think some leeway would be given for a nephew who lives next door. Something a few steps before banishment.

Its an interesting idea. I think there might be something to it. My kids are all home schooled now but my older daughter went to public school for three years. I will have to try to remember if there was a difference. I do know that I complained of boredom far more than my kids ever did. I was public schooled.

"Wuthering Heights". My friend and I recently had a discussion about which books shaped our ideas about romantic love and hers was, "Jane Eyre", which doomed her to a life of believing that love conquers all. Bad move. I think mine was, "Wuthering Heights" and that I was better off for it.

Is there an option 4? I'm thinking of, "Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing", I think, where the house rule was, "Eat it or wear it." Seriously though, I think I'd go with option 2.

I don't believe that rights exist in the state of nature where it is every man for himself. When people come together in a society they can deem certain things rights but once the society dissolves, so too the rights.

I love Scharffen Berger and Joseph Schmidt but I'll eat any kind of dark chocolate. But only if its the beans just happened to fall off the tree on their own and get picked up by jovial and well cared for animated monkeys who were paid a fair wage.

The part where I get it home and have to take off the plastic wrapper which takes forever and then I realize I still have to remove three impossible-to-remove stickers and then I finally get it open and it turns out that they've packed the wrong DVD into the case.

Seriously. What do people have against bus drivers?

My kids exceed me in just about everything that doesn't require age and experience to master. My older daughter has a remarkable ability to really suss out a situation and get to the nitty gritty of it in a rational manner. So-and-so says they are mad but I think their feeling are hurt. You yelled at me when I did this but I know you felt bad about it later. My son has a dead pan sense of humor and good comedic timing. The baby can pull herself together from the middle of a tantrum with remarkable control.

That depends: 1) Are you holding? and 2) Are you a narc? You know you have to ID yourself now that I asked.

Switch the word "guns" for "laws" and I totally agree.

There oughta be a law.

For men to wear? Or give to women to wear? The latter makes more sense. I seriously would not walk around my house smelling like a flame-broiled Whopper. I do not have that kind of time.

Good points. I also wouldn't discourage generosity but she can show her compassion for him w/o negating the effect of the consequence. Maybe she could make his bed for him. I also worry about the motives of a very generous sibling. Some people are will fall all over themselves to keep the peace and its not always appropriate or healthy. I have a child that will always give away the biggest piece of the best one. I typically give her positive feedback but I do sometimes have to stop her and tell her that she doesn't ALWAYS have to be the one to take the smallest piece. That she both: deserves to get a turn having the biggest piece and needs to share the opportunity to be magnanimous. And I'll just say it, sometimes that person who is always sacrificing for others can be annoying and full of themselves. You know, "How many moms does it take to change a light bulb?" "Its okay, Sweetie, dont' get up. I can just sit here in the dark." So, if there is a child that is *always* extending themselves I think it can have negative consequences. There are plenty of opportunities to be generous when people AREN'T in trouble.

Sounds like its time for a little thinning of the herd.