1. What is your cultural background? Italian-American, parents were immigrants. 2. How much work were you expected to do around the house? Not very much--pick up after myself, basically. No cooking or real cleaning. No yard work. 3. Did you feel like you had any input in family affairs (ie. how money was spent, where you went on vacation, etc)or did you live under the "my house, my rules" atmosphere? We kids had input about vacations, but not about how money was spent. 4. Did you want to leave your house? Could not wait. Left the moment I graduated high school. For reasons unrelated to house rules, chores, etc. 5. Did your parents stress the importance of being independent? No. 6. Would you like your adult children to live with you? If they were responsible and could support themselves, but choose to live at home, sure. If they are irresponsible and just need to stay somewhere b/c they can't manage to provide their own housing, no.

As others have said, it's work but not a job. At the same time, when someone is not doing it well, I often think "they're not doing a very good job" even when what I'm referring to is their being a parent or a homemaker.

I learned because my parents were teaching my older sibling when he was in kindergarten, and I was always hanging around. My mom used the "method" of covering up the pictures on the page with a dish towel so that we couldn't get clues, and having us sound things out.

I don't like needles and used to agonize over blood draws, but getting tattooed didn't bother me a bit. Didn't feel like needles and didn't look like needles. Regarding placement, I chose a place unlikely to sag, expand, or droop and 20 years later, my tat looks the same as the day I got it. That said, when I got it I never pictured myself working somewhere with a "no visible tattoos" policy... and now I am, which means pants or dark tights every day. So now I kind of wish I had put it somewhere on my torso where it might have stretched all out of shape, but wouldn't limit my wardrobe options.

I use Oil of Olay Complete for Sensitive Skin. It is only SPF 15, which is enough for my indoor lifestyle most of the time. I wear actual sunscreen when I am going outdoors. I like it because it is light and doesn't sting my eyes when I (inevitably) rub them. I sometimes put it on twice a day when the air is drying, yet I never get a greasy buildup or feel slimy.

I declutter without fear b/c I know if three years from now it turns out that I want the item again, I can probably find it on eBay. What about the fact that I would have to pay for it all over again? Well, space in my house has a dollar value--after all, house prices go up with house sizes, right? So, if I'm not willing to spend $10 on a used copy of a book I got rid of three years ago, why on earth would I have let that book suck up space that I am paying for? It is worth more to me to have a home that is (relatively) organized and where everything has a place that is neatly out from under foot, than it is to know that I will never have to "re-pay" for an item I regret getting rid of. But really, I've never regretted getting rid of things. re: the guilt about throwing things away, as pp suggested I would drive to town to donate stuff that was really worthy of being donated, but other stuff, I would not feel guilty about. If you are not using it, you're not using it whether it's in your house or the landfill. Keeping it in your house does not magically turn it into organic soil--it is going to end up in a landfill at some point unless you burn it. The only question is how long will it spend making you crazy with clutter before it gets there?

No. They sell it frozen at our grocery store, but I would not eat it. We have pet rabbits and they are gentle creatures. I am from the rural midwest. My husband's family is from the south and they all eat it.

If you haven't smelled them, it may be hard to understand. It's not like a wet dog smell, but it is a strong smell, metallic and maybe a little yeasty. My neighbor's dogs have no trouble with yeast infections in their ears (which many of the breed and other long-eared breeds do have) but still, they are very smelly. He takes them to the dog wash regularly and they are indoors (not wet) virtually all the time. The other thing is that while they are low to the ground, they are really big dogs, just chopped down. Their bodies are big-dog bodies. Their claws are big-dog claws. They weigh upwards of 40lbs. So, I would not consider them medium sized, really. Most scent hounds are difficult to train. They want to follow their nose, they do not want to follow directions. If you want a compliant, relatively easy dog, you may want to go with an easier breed.

Our neighbor adopted his bassets full-grown. They are the nicest dogs. Bassets have a strong smell. If you're familiar with the breed, you probably already know that, but if you're choosing them based on adorable looks and haven't been around them, you may want to get a whiff of some adults before you make the plunge either way. I'm a fan of adopting rather than buying in general, but there is something to be said for knowing what you're going to get, too. If you can meet both the puppy's parents and assess them for temperament, that can give you a real sense of comfort about how your pup will turn out. But I'd rather adopt an adult from a foster home (most rescues use foster homes and the foster "parent" can tell you about their housebreaking, energy level, etc.) than buy a pup whose parents I can't meet and who I can't get vet reports on.... too many health problems and heartbreaks.

I agree. I never read Albert's book because I saw the anguish it caused other parents in our homeschooling group. When they tried unschooling and their kids never seemed to have any particular passion or even special interest, they felt like they must be doing it "wrong." I do feel you can use a flexible, interest-inspired approach to homeschooling no matter what materials you use. I know what works for us is a combination of regular daily work in some areas and flights of fancy in others.

My kids loved The Human Odyssey so much that when I was passing along outgrown books they made me keep ours for when they have kids. That's a positive review if ever I heard one. Mine are history buffs, we always had lots of projects and read historical fiction out the wazoo, so we basically used the books as starting points and I made up my own tests based on what I thought they might be overlooking in their tendency to focus on what they love.

Maybe sending him to the local school wouldn't be such a bad plan. Sure, they aren't up to snuff academically, but he'd be getting the "here comes a deadline, ignore it at your peril" piece. If he is currently producing two-sentence essays ;) it may be worthwhile just to see him produce a real paper, even if it's not of the highest caliber. IME, homeschooling co-op's don't feature much accountability, so I'm not sure if yours are like ours that he'd feel any worse about not having his work done for them than he does not having it done for you. FWIW, my friend's son NEVER did a thing at home and dragged his feet like there was no tomorrow even about online classes. When he started PS high school (his request) there was a quick "welcome to reality" period and he shaped up really well. He had the skills, but not the motivation, until he was with peers. His competetive nature (same nature that made him a game aholic at home) makes it so he can't stand to do worse than others.

None for us. We had a big ruckus at homeschool co-op about them; many kids objected on animal cruelty grounds vs. a few parents who said their kids "needed" dissections to "get into vet school." Yes. I quote. Our vet, when surveyed, said they are unecessary not only in high school but in undergrad as well, and there are video dissections that work well for everything up until the point where you need the real deal. That was all it took for me. No dissections.

Good to see that article. I remember reading somewhere that African-American boys are the most likely to be dx with ADHD and medicated. I can understand why parents don't want to accept that label just because it makes classroom dynamics easier. Also, the standards for both behavior and academics are so very low in many of the public schools with high minority enrollments, it would be hard to do worse at home. Since I have friends who teach in those schools, I want to specify that I am not blaming the teachers for the low standards. It's a complex problem and they can't fix it alone.

She's right that as a homeschooler I am tired of defending people who claim to be homeschooling but are actually practicing neglect. It's because of people like the ones she is writing about (with 11 year olds who can't read because they haven't been taught) that I constantly have to be faced with new people in my kids' lives "testing" them when they find out they're homeschooled. From the mail carrier who can't clap eyes on my first grader without asking "Quick, what's 12 plus 5?" to the college admissions reps who hem and haw about accepting homeschoolers and what kind of transcript they will accept. . . sigh. My kids HAVE been tested every year. Not for the state's information, but for mine. I have no patience with people who are so afraid of interference that they won't put their methods to the test.

I'm another vote for screen addiction --or at least "screen habit". We have a 30 minute limit on screentime during the week. Weekends, 30 minutes for computer, but they can watch a movie or two. As others have said, if they just like doing things that don't require time outdoors (reading, crafts, games, cooking, whatever) that is one thing. Not everyone is "outdoorsy." But if all they do indoors is screens.... that would worry me.

Oh yeah. But really, if she's still asking you questions --even hard ones -- you can declare yourself a winner! She cares what you think. My DD, 18, will be leaving for college in the fall. She thinks she knows everything and doesn't need to ask questions :confused:. She did kindly let me know that when she has children she will be bringing them to me to look after for the first several years because she wants them to behave correctly and get a good foundation in homeschooling! So, I have to take that as a compliment even though she doesn't want answers from me right now. . .

My hat is off to you ladies (maybe I should say "my hats", since I wear so many of them in the course of a day!?). I couldn't even do three when my youngest was a preschooler. Seemed like my mind could span the 5 year age difference between oldest and #3, but could not stretch to include a little one again, so #4 got the short end of the stick. Naturally, he's a better reader than two of his hovered-over sibs were at the same age and better at math besides. So the short end of the stick worked out well for him :001_smile: It's nice to see so many of you holding fast!

No one should bash you for going back to work whether it can be helped or not-- you're the judge of what's best for you. My friend had to return to work 30 hours a week when homeschooling her son, and she was a single mom. She utilized her co-op more heavily and signed him up for a few extra activities, having him carpool with others. Her son was very reliable and "safe" without supervision at home alone but she didn't want him to feel isolated. You could also switch Sunday and Monday to full school days, and pick another day for him to have off, so that you're hands-on most days when he's doing school. It's challenging to find a new balance, but it can work. My friend's son did very well and surely it was a good lesson to him about how much his mom valued him being able to learn at his own pace.

Honestly, I would have a hard time hiring her. I know there are many fine people who aren't readers (or who don't consider themselves readers) but, eh, I just would prefer a teacher who can communicate the love of reading because she feels it, whether she reads Melville or Stephen King. Years ago my friend who was a university history professor had a student in class complaining about the college's general education requirements and who said "I want to be an elementary school teacher--why should I have to take Western Civ?" Why indeed?

We use and love Goodreads. I write a little review of most books I finish just for the writing practice and for the fact that it makes it easier for me to remember the book two years later. I also keep track of my want-to-reads there, and that's where I look when I want to request books from my library. My DD uses Goodreads, too. She enjoys the fact that there are lots of lists and you can follow particular reviewers whose tastes/interests are similar to your own, so she can get ideas about what else she might want to try, based on what she has already liked.

Very inspiring thread. I don't think I have the strength of will to do all raw, but I'm sure I could do two meals a day raw and all day vegan if I tried. Let us know if you start to feel better again!

Have you read Alfie Kohn at all? If he's always looking for the reward or treat, I'd be tempted to stop with treats and rewards right away and let him have the experience of recognizing that having made you happy or having done the right thing IS the reward. Since he's addicted to TV and games, I'd let him know there won't be any more of those until he is compliant. If he can be compliant for treats, he can be compliant, period.

The other thing to consider is that some people don't check FB very often. So, it may be that she just hasn't seen it yet.

I grew up going to sleep-away camp for a month every summer. Loved it, and couldn't wait to send my kids. As others have said, they don't have cell phone while there and they write postcards. When one of my dds had social problems and sent a postcard expressing anxiety, a call to the camp got the issue resolved. At age 14 and 16, church camp or not, I'd choose one that was all girls or all boys. Not that anything improper would happen, but at those ages I've found so much energy goes into impression management around the opposite sex that it detracts from the fun, relaxed experience I'd want my kids to have.