I would also look carefully at the shades and consult someone in the paint department to pick the shades that would complement each other. Unusual colors like that can look good together if the shades are right.

I agree. My 10 yr old can put together a microwave breakfast and take care of her older sister (bathing, dressing, brushing teeth/hair). My younger is happiest sweeping the floor, using a dust buster type vac, making beds and wiping off the table. Cooking, knowing how to answer the telephone properly and make phone calls properly, what to do when someone rings the doorbell and you are in the shower, how to handle basic emergencies (dialing 911, what to do in case of fire, simple first aid), downed power lines, using a hair dryer, laundry (I think a 10 yr old should be able to sort and do laundry while the 6 yr old should be able to fold/hang and put away). Personal hygiene (with a little more info for your 10 yr old in private). I also think 'stranger danger' (and how it's not always a stranger) is a good thing to talk about and how they can always come to you if something happens that makes them uncomfortable. Maybe even something about not wasting food and how other people have very little to eat and how fortunate they are to have plenty of food. That's all I can think of at the moment. Good luck!

In my experience, it is fairly common for doctors to prescribe in the first meeting. To be fair, many parents show up looking for help and doctors see medication as a form of help. Additionally, some medicines (and I believe prozac is one) take a few weeks to kick in, so the sooner started, the better. I must be honest (and I want to be as gentle as possible) and tell you that I haven't heard that talking about not wanting to live to be related to sensory issues. That sounds more like depression and something that medication could relieve. I do believe that being overwhelmed (due to sensory issues) can cause self-injury. If my daughter is extremely overwhelmed, she does self-injure. (She is on risperdol and for a time was also on prozac but we had to quit the prozac due to a reaction between the two meds). My daughter has a diagnosis of anxiety and they suspect depression at times (she is non-verbal which makes diagnosing these difficult). In your shoes, I would be very open with your doctor that you wish to try other things before medication and ask for suggestions. Medication is such a sensitive issue and I'm sure they have had other parents tell them this before. Also, realize that starting a child on medicine doesn't mean that the child will stay on medicine. I am sure there are many women on this board who have taken medication for anxiety/depression and then after a few years (and counseling or other measures) realize that they didn't need it anymore. Nothing is final. It only seems like the beginning of the end at this stage. Prozac was a lifesaver for us and our daughter once she started it. Please feel free to pm me if you have questions you don't want to post publicly. I wish you all the best. :)

I'm excited. We start next Monday. I've never homeschooled before so we're truly starting. I plan to go through a few lesson plans this week to make sure I know what I'm doing. :) My other two are home from school but that's fine. We tend to do a lot of things together anyway.

I cook one pack of bacon and make a double batch of pancakes on Sunday. We microwave them throughout the week for breakfast. This goes one of two ways: Option A: Typically my husband is an early riser. He wakes up at 5 am and rambles around. He enjoys putting together a healthy breakfast for the kids. He'll microwave the pancakes and bacon and will add scrambled eggs with cheese, yogurt, some type of cut up fruit and nuts. If he's in a good mood, he'll bring me breakfast in bed. (I am NOT a morning person). Occasionally he'll cook grits or oatmeal. Option B: My 10 yr old microwaves the bacon and pancakes and will occasionally set out yogurt or fruit or nuts (or all three). It's very fast and if I don't cook the pancakes/bacon, they are usually okay without them. I try to get them made though. Our oldest will eat the bacon, sometimes the pancakes, always the yogurt and will occasionally try the fruit. Our 10 yr old has Celiac Disease (I cook gluten free pancakes for everyone) and eats all of it. Our youngest has a lot of stomach problems/aches and gets to pick and choose what she'll eat based on how she is feeling. Along with a PP, we also MUST have breakfast or sugar levels get crazy and people start getting cranky. I try not to short-change breakfast. Lunch and dinner might be short a veggie or starch or something, but breakfast is typically big and healthy.

My understanding is that the elves with red outfits are good elves and the ones with green are full of mischief. We have a red one but I plan to find a green one for next year. There's really only so much that a nice elf can do - he hangs around, leaves candy and that's it. This year, I had him in the fridge drinking a soda and the girls thought that was a scream. Naughtiness is more fun... lol.

That's a great idea and I'll definitely do that! I want the girls to have a great relationship with all of their grandparents (even when I get annoyed at them!).

Ugh. I hate the smell. Can you use a plug in or automatic dispersing type air freshener? Perhaps get one that claims to deodorize? I would probably also grab all of her clothes and wash them - I know it's more work, but the smell would make me crazy. Sorry!

I came up against an awkward situation today and I'm not sure I handled it well. FIL and his wife are very nice people. They are active in their church, managing nearly 50 children between the ages of 2 and 3. They formed a kids' choir from those ages and they also do plays. Their love for children has earned them quite a few newspaper write-ups. About three years ago, they started having financial problems. At the same time, they quit acknowledging the girls' birthdays. They didn't call or send a card. (Interestingly, they still send me a card even though I'm not a blood relation). My youngest just had her birthday and today she asked me why they didn't do anything for her birthday. I had held my breath on her actual birthday wondering if she would ask, but she didn't. So, i was caught off guard. I finally settled on telling her that they do not have a lot of money and they don't do anything for birthdays. Should I say something to them? I could tell that my daughter wasn't very satisfied with the answer, particularly since other grandparents at least called or sent a card (both of which are not expensive). I feel that if I say anything, it will sound rude, but it's deliberate that they not send anything (because they send me something). There's no tactful way of doing this, is there?

My understanding is that schools do not have to offer therapy unless you are enrolled. If you have a good relationship with the district, it wouldn't hurt to ask. Otherwise, my suggestion would be to locate a place that has a sliding scale fee (do you have health insurance? they might cover it). Check with United Cerebral Palsy, Easter Seals and any Children's Hospital in your area. My best suggestion is that you pay for one speech session a month (more if you can afford it) and let them know that you will be doing speech with your son yourself and ask them to show you what to do. At the risk of drawing wrath from any SLP's on this board, you do not have to have one and your child is not doomed if you cannot afford private therapy. With guidance, I think you would do just fine. I'm fortunate in that my best friend is an SLP and whenever I have been stuck, I've asked her to help me out. She's given me advice over the phone which has worked quite well. (My daughter is in public school but I work with her a lot over the summer to help get her to the next level). Good luck. I hope you find the absolute best situation for your family. :)

Homemade candy :) Fudge (using condensed milk recipe so it's easy), Chex mix muddy-buddy type candy (recipe is usually on the side of the box), rolo pretzels (melt rolo on top of pretzel and push pecan half in it) and truffles (which actually are not that hard to do and look gorgeous). I have also made divinity but it is complicated and time consuming.

Praying :(

We spend a lot - around $200 - 250 per week for our family of five. I spent several years trying to hit impressive numbers like the blogs I read but finally gave up. All three of our kids have medical concerns and dietary limitations. I finally decided it wasn't worth the stress of baking our own bread,etc since that seemed to always fall on a day that someone was ill. We eat at home nearly every evening and most of our snacks are nutritional and not junk. We do a huge garden in the summer and have wonderful neighbors that let us glean from their fruit and veggies. I'm impressed by those who can do it, we cannot.

If anyone has the old 6-8 copy of MBTP, I just bought the new one. It said it was revised effective 2011. If you can point out some of the typos I'll check my copy and see if they were corrected. I see the typo concern brought up frequently with this curriculum and it would be interesting to see if they listened to the feedback on it. :)

That's possible. And honestly, I would love having them over the day after Christmas and wouldn't be offended in the slightest if they spent Christmas with her son. Part of the problem is that FIL owns a business and there are very few days that he can be 'off' of work. I've been trying to figure a way out of next Christmas without offending anyone. (I'm trying to figure out a way to host a Christmas holiday without it falling precisely on Christmas Day, even if I have to give up Christmas Eve). If both her son and brother are visiting on Christmas Day, I'd rather her stay there with them than bring them here. I know it's very un-Christmasy of me, but I try very hard to be a great hostess when I have guests. I don't want to host on Christmas, I want to spend time with the kids.

Is it bad that I prefer to think of them as never growing up? ;)

I'm relieved that he didn't kill her. What a horrible experience for the little girl and her whole family. I typically am a forgiving person, but I can't find any understanding for those who commit these types of crimes. I hope this family finds peace this holiday season and healing. :(

Close. :) My Step-MIL asked (she's the only one asking). Each time. I told her yes the first few times because there were extenuating circumstances. When she asked about her son, I struggled with the yes because I knew she would be offended with a 'no'. I mentioned that somewhere - she is very particular about her son (and most parents are). No matter how nice one tells a person that their child and grandchildren can't come over, it's going to offend. I think good manners should have dictated that she shouldn't even ask. We do not interact with her brother and his wife except when they come over at Christmas. They are nice people, but we never knew the brother existed until 3 years ago. We also do not interact with her son (DH's step-brother) or his kids unless we bump into them at FIL's house. These are not people who would be invited, or gifted or Christmas carded any other year. It occurred to me last night that basically everyone Step-MIL would want to have around her at Christmas will be, which makes this her perfect Christmas, but not mine. That's what I meant by being taken advantage of - she's not a mean person, I think she sub-consciously arranged things to her liking. The first few years are understandable - I try to make exceptions when I know that others are having a difficult time. I just think it's getting carried away.

Thanks for the kind comments. :) They live about two hours away so coming and going is a big deal. My oldest (with autism) doesn't do well when we travel and is usually a nightmare around other people's decorations. I typically watch her while DH helps the other two when we go places. If she's completely melting down, we go sit in the car or an empty bedroom until things are finished. Our middle daughter has Celiac Disease and we all eat gluten free, especially on holidays. (That's not an exclusive rule, but typically we eat the same thing). Other relatives do not take her diet seriously and if she eats elsewhere (or something they bring) she is sick, always. When she has a reaction, it can last for up to two weeks of vomiting and diarrhea. Both of our families are divorced and re-married. They do not get along. The tension of trying to figure out who was going to come when and whether they would compete for the kids' attention was stressful. For a while, we would have Christmas Eve dinner at his Dad's house, spend the night at his Mom's, go to my Mom's for brunch and my Dad's for lunch. Sometimes we were so tired that we didn't open our gifts until the day after. I understand that people think I'm harsh to not allow visitors on Christmas Day. I had all of them over for Thanksgiving and we schedule 'Christmas' time as best we can, but not on that day. We find that our time with relatives is more relaxed and 'quality'. They are all very kind people individually, but my Dad is jealous of his Dad (his Dad is more 'fun'), my mother tries too hard to impress his mother, his mother worries about upsetting my mother, his Dad doesn't understand that when he is playing with the kids they aren't visiting other relatives (and then I'm scolded by my Dad for not intervening so they all have a turn). On Thanksgiving, we invite them all and if they argue we tell them to take it outside. I want peace for Christmas. I'm going ahead with this year as I've already agreed to it. Next year will be different. I do think I should relax my Christmas Eve stance but I need my Christmas back. I could even live with someone coming over late afternoon, but then there are accusations of favoritism unless we rotate relatives.

I love Christmas. Two of our daughters have birthdays in December. We tend to go a bit overboard for Christmas. Some years, we start shopping in the summer to make sure that we can afford everything. I do a lot of cooking in the days before Christmas so that on Christmas Day I do minimal work. We spend the day with our kids. We all play with the toys. We watch movies. We don't get out of our pajamas. I love it. Several years ago, FIL and his wife (DH's step-mother) asked if they could start coming over on Christmas Day to visit with the kids. They work retail and it's the only day the businesses were closed. Grudgingly, I agreed as long as they came after lunch. They brought DH's grandmother along, and all was well. A few years ago, DH's step-mother's Mother passed away right before Christmas. Her brother was in town for the funeral and she asked if she could bring him along. Of course, I said yes. I thought it was a one-time thing, but the next year he showed up in town at Christmas with a new wife. She asked if they could bring him and his wife and again, I said yes. This year, she called to tell me that her only child (DH's step-brother) divorced last year and could he and his two kids come along for Christmas as well. She told me to please be honest, but she's very particular about her child. (Most moms are). I didn't feel like I could tell her no and DH said that we should be charitable, so I said fine, but to please tell me the kids ages so I could put something under the tree for them. I also told her that I was only cooking soup (they are going to show up at lunch and stay through dinner) but would have plenty of snacks. I haven't heard back from her so I'm buying generic type toys and hoping for the best. I'm also buying gifts for her brother/wife and son. As I was making candy tonight, it occurred to me that I have lost MY Christmas while she has gained HER Christmas with all of her family, at my house, that I'm feeding. (Even though it's only soup and snacks, that's 6 adults and 2 kids). I feel that I'm being taken advantage of and wish I hadn't agreed. I plan to tell DH that we're not doing this again next year. I want to go back to just family on Christmas and Christmas Eve (our oldest daughter's birthday). I'm venting...thanks for reading.

I'm the parent of a severely affected child with autism. The decision to medicate is one of the most horrible decisions to make. Regardless of what you decide, there will be people that view you as an awful parent. I put my daughter on risperdol and have been accused of being lazy, drugging my child and "willing to sacrifice her life for my own selfish reasons". I found it very comforting when people noticed the positive things after we started. I still feel guilty at times for medicating, and we've tried several times to stop, but she really needs it. I would share the comments your son made.

I'm so sorry, both for your loss and your feeling of embarrassment over the blunder. I agree with everyone else that she will understand. I also wanted to mention that I am the world's worst at knowing what to say without preparing ahead of time. I have found it helpful to be upfront and tell people (when I'm in a situation like yours), "I don't know what to say, but please know that I care and I'm here if you want to talk." If it would make you feel better, write her a short note and simply tell her that you didn't know what to say and you feel that your comment about being ready for Christmas was insensitive under the circumstances. Tell her that your nervousness can cause massive foot in mouth syndrome. Let her know that if she was offended, you are so sorry, that you care and if she needs anything to let you know.

I wouldn't compare a homeschool schedule to a public school schedule. For my younger two daughters, there is a lot of wasted time. They both took tests at the beginning of the school year to see how much of the grade material they already knew. (These were administered by the school). They both scored in the 80's. A concept will be taught, they understand it, but they have to listen while the rest of the class is taught until the class understands it. This continues for a few days. Then they test. If my child is finished with the test in fifteen minutes, they must wait another thirty until the rest of the class finishes. If the class does poorly, they re-teach. If they can read advanced materials, but the class cannot, they are still stuck at the level of learning and testing. And (as mentioned previously), time taken for PE, lunch, changing between subjects, homeroom, etc. What makes home school so desirable to me is that I can tailor instruction to my child's ability to learn. If they understand the math, I can test and move on. There's no wasted time.

I know very little about courtship, only what I've heard from friends. So, if my advice is off, my apologies in advance. :) It seems as though you and your DH know OF this young man, but do not really know him. I would suggest inviting him over so that you all can get to know each other. Good luck :)

Caroline, I am not familiar with honors classes as my 'oldest' typical learner is only in 4th grade, so I'm sure you're correct. :)