You mentioned in your post that you had to finance the part you did agree to - did you finance it through their company? If so, maybe agree to pay the extra cost of the unit and they adjust your financing to include no interest? I also wanted to mention that while I would pay for the unit (no profit or labor, etc), if you cannot afford, then you cannot afford it. I wouldn't overly stress about it. If you can't afford even their cost without compromising your family stability, I'd offer something, but not the whole thing.

Since it was their mistake, I'd offer to pay for their costs of the unit, but not any profit or labor. I'd also work this out for payments that you could afford. JMO though. :)

My oldest daughter is in public school but because she presents so severely, I spend a lot of time working with her just to prove that she is capable of learning. I have 'taught' her teachers on many occasions (and they have returned the favor). I have no suggestions, but if you are working on anything specific, feel free to drop me a PM and if nothing else, I will brainstorm away. :) My current passion is teaching my daughter to read (since she is non-verbal with limited comprehension this seemed impossible originally, but she reads now on a 1st grade level and possibly higher). My next biggest project will focus on self-help since I still bathe her nightly and brush her teeth 2x daily. I need her to be more independent. Anyway, I'm in the severely challenged group with her so feel free to bang on my PM. :)

I'm not sure if 10yoDD knows about the tooth fairy and our house is too small at the moment for any real confrontation (it's raining outside). I'm trying to figure out how to do this right. And yes, I'm worried about more than just the missing dollar. I'd like to solve this in a light-hearted fashion and then lower the boom on DD10 about the lie/theft. But just punishment seems empty. I feel like I'm doing something wrong in raising my kids for her to think it's okay to take stuff from her younger sister.

Here's another "look on the bright side" type post. :) My daughter was in gifted education for the last two years. The first year, she went to a pull-out program twice a week for 1.5 hours each time. Unfortunately, the teacher didn't show up very often, maybe 1 or 2 times a month. This past year, her teacher was more reliable, but they only met 1x a week for 2 hours a time. The projects they were assigned were not very challenging or inspiring. It was truly a waste of time. We will be homechooling her next year. I know there are places with great gifted programs, but ours wasn't. I ordered a lot of things from The Critical Thinking Co. and she is really enjoying them. Good luck :)

My youngest lost a tooth last night. She went to bed with her tooth securely under her pillow. Sometime last night, the tooth fairy left $2.00 (and yes, I'm positive that 2.00 was left, bills folded up together for easy 'sliding' ;) ). This morning when I asked her if the tooth fairy had come during the night, she went to go check and excitedly brought back $1.00. I told her to check again since the tooth fairy was here just a few weeks ago and left her $2.00 last time. She checked and came back, nope, just 1.00. Mystified, I went and checked. I know my youngest thinks I'm a bit crazy as I was lifting pillows, shaking out sheets and blankets, crawling under her bed and finally lifting the entire mattress. Only 1.00. Meanwhile, dd10 is eating breakfast and ignoring all of the commotion. I'm almost positive that she took the other 1.00 but I'm not sure how to go about getting it back! (DD12 wouldn't take it as she isn't able to comprehend the concept of tooth fairy nor did she realize that DD7 lost a tooth). I am positive it isn't in her bed anywhere as their room is spotless, not a thing on the floor and nothing is kept under their beds. I'm trying to discreetly search for the money without blowing my cover. Any suggestions on how to get it back short of an outright confrontation over it?

Honestly, I don't think what I said was bad. But, I'll post it and others can chime in on whether I was rude or not. "Hi Sis, I’m not sure how to say this, but I noticed that BIL posts a lot of political stuff that seems to come from a site that is not factually accurate. As the election year heats up, facebook is going to become nuts with political agendas. I don’t want BIL to look foolish when others point out that he posted inaccurate information. He may want to google some of this stuff he’s sent. I’m not pro or anti (presidential choice), I just wanted to make sure you knew he had a bad source." He was posting articles that were inaccurate and offensive. If someone posted that the info was inaccurate according to Snopes, he would defend it because a particular person had sent it to him. If he didn't like a particular president hopeful, that's fine. But when it's things like, "So and So wrote a letter stating that every American must become Muslim or pay higher taxes!!" it's simply untrue. There's plenty on ANY president to critique and debate, why create things? I didn't want to say it directly to BIL because I thought that would cross a line. But, point taken, I'm ignoring it all and will keep my opinions to myself. ;)

Thanks for all the replies. :) I think that part of my reluctance to patch things up is because I feel like we keep hitting a re-set button on our relationship. If I reset now, then we have the option of drama during the summer. I don't consider myself to have low self-esteem, but it is both tiring and hurtful to be called backwards, ignorant, stupid, mean, etc. My personal belief system is that we should treat others with loads of grace and compassion. No matter how busy I am with my own kids (all of whom have varying medical needs), if I know of a neighbor who is sick, we do something for them (even if it's just cooking a homemade dessert). If someone goofs and says something ugly to me or if they say it because they are tired or frustrated, I try to take all of that into consideration and overlook it. My friends (and most family members) say that I'm slow to anger and have loads of patience. But when I'm finally out of patience, I'm done. Even though my sister isn't speaking to me, I have continued to send hand-me-down clothes and lots of toys to my nieces whenever my mother makes the trip to visit her. She usually visits during the summer and had already asked me (through Mother) if I can help with her kids when she visits. (The translation of 'helping her' is that I'll watch them from 9:00 am - 8:00 pm including meals and baths - she picks them up for visits to other relatives). I sent word back that as long as her visit didn't interfere with medical appointments or recovery, that was fine. I adore my nieces and plan to have as much of a relationship as I can with them. But, I want my mind clear this summer. I plan to use several of the suggestions above (some type of mix) but somewhere in there, I need to explain to her that I'm done being yelled at and called names. I know she does it to other people and my niece was asked to leave the Montessori school she attended after my sister lost her temper at the director. I don't want to just open myself up to more of her bad behavior. She can convey a message without tacking on profanity and hurtful language. She does have anxiety and depression and I try to be considerate of that, but I'm tired of the drama. If I don't have some type of answer for my Mom, Sis will call Dad so I'd like to sort it out this week-end. My daughter has three teeth removed next week which is her first surgery. Our biggest concern is that she self-injures when she's hurting and we're worried she'll pick her stitches out. I plan on sleeping with her for a few days so I'm there 24/7. I'm 41 (not 14) and Sis is 38 (not 13). I'm going to do my best to not give her any advice, even when she asks (or BIL asks). And I'll up my "she's adorable!" comments on facebook for my niece's pictures. :)

I LOVE that commercial, it makes me howl with laughter every time I see it. Especially when she jumps in front of him in dodge ball screaming, "No, No!" and then whispering reassuringly behind her, "Mommy's here." To the OP, my middle daughter is very competitive. I caught her 'not' touching the line before turning around during a drill one day. I didn't interrupt the drill but she and I had a long talk that afternoon and she didn't do it again. Hopefully, the other child's mother does similarly.

My sister and I typically get along until she adopted her kids a few years ago (one just turned 3 and another is not quite 1 yr old). She says I became bossy, I say that she become overly dramatic and stressed out. Our latest argument happened three months ago because of facebook. My bil is very sweet (a little slow talking and acting) and seems easily influenced. He started posting political pictures and dramatized articles on facebook. He posts the kinds of articles that you typically see dis-proven on Snopes or videos that are spliced to mis-represent things that are said. After several cringe-worthy ones came across my feed, I sent my sister a note and told her that bil may not realize that he's posting fictional political articles and he should research them before sending them along. She was absolutely livid and told me I was mean, bossy, manipulative, ignorant and that I treated her like a child. I told her that he would end up offending someone and that facebook might not be the place for political discussion. (Then I deleted him off my daughter's account so she wouldn't see his posts and ignored him on mine. They don't know it as I take time to go visit his account every month and comment on family posts.) We still aren't talking much because of it. I feel uncomfortable saying anything around her because I always seem to say the wrong thing. Two short example - last visit she asked if I wanted to hold the baby and I told her that I would hold her later as my back was aching (I had finished doing the dishes and I just wanted to sit for a minute). She accused me (in front of my kids) of not wanting to hold the baby because her nose was slightly blue (she had a nasal tip hemangioma at the time). My oldest daughter is VERY different and it's obvious to the casual observer, so I have no problem with children being different, it was truly because my back hurt. (She went on to tell everyone in my family that I didn't like the new baby.) Another time, she asked me what I would do if any of my kids were to ever become pregnant as a teenager. I told her that depending on our health, we would probably try to raise the baby ourselves. She was livid that adoption wasn't our first choice and told me that I was backwards, ignorant and she couldn't believe that she was actually related to me. (She did call a month later and apologize for that remark after other relatives told her she was out of line). She's just stressful to me. She has asked me for help in the past because her older daughter mis-behaved so much. I gave her suggestions and she said I was a know-it-all but then she did start doing the suggestions and, according to my mother, discovered that it helped. (With the new baby, I told her to plan time for just the two of them -sis and older daughter - , etc). She called my mother yesterday and asked Mother to tell me to call her because she feels like we're "not in the right place" with each other. I agree that we're not, but I have a huge summer planned. My oldest daughter is having two small surgeries (nothing huge, but her autism makes huge complications along with several weeks recovery) and extra therapy. Another daughter is getting ready for summer camp and we're planning a week away to visit in-laws. Whenever I'm busy or under stress, I tend to wipe extra projects and distractions 'off the table' until I'm better able to handle it. I've cleared my summer of everything but kids' schooling (and even that was whittled down from my original plans), dd1's surgery/recovery/therapy, dd2's camp and in-law visit (they are mostly great to be around). If she were a friend, I would have cut her out of my life completely. Since she's my sister and I do love her, I'm happy to try to work on the relationship, just not now. How on earth do I explain to my mother that I don't plan on calling sis because I don't have time for her until Fall? Not calling will lead to more drama, but I almost don't care. My singular focus at the moment is on family.

I used to spend compulsively (although nothing like your friend). My debt was several thousand dollars but honestly, some of it was necessary. Most of my fear was of not having money. DH and I worked out an allowance that I could spend which helped considerably. Otherwise, it was breaking a spending habit. For months, I would find things that I had bought and never taken out of the shopping bags. I did locate some great info online and it is similar to AA. Good luck. Addiction to shopping may sound silly, but it's very real. I wish the best for your friend and I'm glad she's told her husband. That is the worst part. Hopefully, she can move forward.

We used MBTP and I think for some kids it would be a good fit. For mine, it wasn't. I really tried to like it (especially since it cost a LOT). It was too much writing for her. My daughter struggles with writing and I needed her writing to be 'quality' if that makes sense. I also saw several typos which got on my nerves over time, including one math typo(2+3=6).

It would be even worse to ignore it and have him think that nobody cares OR for him to actually harm himself. It's best to reach out with love and concern (and medical attention). My best friend's husband was buddies with another Dad (they both have kids with autism). When the other Dad killed himself, my friend and her husband went through significant guilt that they hadn't realized he was overwhelmed. :grouphug:

I came across a great site while planning my Harry Potter summer. It looks to be the website of a teacher who wrote questions for every chapter of several books along with vocabulary words. It meshed so perfectly with what I have planned for the summer and I think it will work out great. I was delighted when I saw that she had done similarly for many other books. I wanted to post it in case it helped somebody else. http://www.mce.k12tn.net/units/units_with_books.htm

Same here except I couldn't always see the page clearly. But, if I'm searching for something (like the mustard in the fridge or a certain can in the pantry) I can close my eyes and tell people exactly where it's at based on the picture in my mind from when I was last in the pantry, fridge, whatever. Same with my messy desk. ;)

Paper plates/napkins, plasticware, cups, etc. Also, baby wipes, hand sanitizer and basic first aid kit. We also keep a fully stocked pantry and have manual can openers in different locations. We have a storm shelter that should be installed soon. It's interesting to see how my neighbors are outfitting theirs and what items they consider important enough to keep down there. I live in a small, rural area. The most shocking thing I saw after last year's tornadoes was that our area simply didn't have food. Electricity went out and the two grocery stores in town had to throw out all cold stuff. Since many people lost their homes, food was sought after. Two churches lost their storage space in the tornado that contained clothes closets and food pantries. I remember going into town (not realizing the power was out since the roads weren't passable for several days so it took a bit to actually get to town) and being shocked that shelves were literally bare. Trucks couldn't run to our rural town due to trees being down and dangerous situations (power lines still on roads). It was very sobering and some people around here were without power for over two weeks.

I have a hard time saying no, especially if I see a situation with a genuine need. (And I'm assuming that she has a genuine need if they're being evicted). I am also going to assume that perhaps driving around for three hours with you is less of her needing errands and more of her wanting to be out of the house or simply near you for some reason (perhaps she sees more into the friendship?). Regardless, your kids, family dynamics and overall "home well-being" are top priority. If you think she needs help more than you can give her, make a list of shelters, food kitchens and churches that are known for giving assistance. I hesitate to say this, but if she didn't want to have her husband run errands, perhaps a couple of places that offer domestic violence relief or addiction help. Offer to run errands for her once every other week (or whatever you are comfortable with) and tell her to make a list. Set a time limit. If she has a few friends who will do that for her, she should be able to take care of her errands without being burdensome on anyone. Do not let them stay at your house. Not even for a night. (If nothing else, make that list of shelters to give to them when they ask). And do not loan money to them. (Because that is probably coming). Good luck :)

McWane Science Center (I'm guessing it's open on the week-ends). Birmingham Zoo (and it almost connects with the botanical gardens which are beautiful, particularly the Japanese gardens).

If they have been together for two years, are they considered common law marriage?

Try describing it? Dog bite, spider bite? Swelling, bleeding?

My Sensei once told me that as much as I forgive others, I should also forgive myself. :) It helps. If you would understand the glitch, chances are good that others will as well.

Thanks for the input. :) I think I'll go ahead and order the bundles and extra books and set aside the things I can't use now.

I'm looking for something to keep my two girls (ages 7 and almost 11) busy this summer. We do plan to continue homeschooling during the summer. We are doing a harry potter theme summer, reading Sorcerer's Stone and doing activities, tests and legos. However, my oldest will need two different surgeries this summer - one for teeth removal and another for tonsils and adenoids. Due to her autism, the doctor's have told me to clear my calendar for 24/7 care in case she tries to stick her hands down her throat or tug at stitches, etc. So, I started looking for workbook type things to keep the other two busy with minimal instruction from me. I am looking at some of the bundles. Unfortunately, I need different levels on a few items. I'm thinking about buying the bundles AND buying the extra books they will need (they can use the unused bundle books either next year or the next). My question is whether the products are good enough to make this type of investment? They are very expensive, but if they are good, I want them. To make this even better, my in-laws have offered to contribute heavily to this purchase (they are hoping that the other girls won't drift to video games while I'm busy with my oldest). That makes me want to get them, but if the products are not very good, I don't want to waste their money (or mine). Thoughts?

If your mailbox is in an apartment complex with lots of little holes and a locked back, then it's possible he put it in the wrong slot. Can you ask the landlord to check with the individuals who have the mail slots next to you?

We have a border collie who is about 2 1/2 yrs old. He's probably a border collie mix. He's super friendly, loves the kids, runs forever, happily chases squirrels, mice, rabbits, birds, butterflies and grasshoppers. He used to chew on anything not nailed down, but that's improved. He seems to 'smile' all the time. He was a stray that was dropped off on our road and when we couldn't find the owners, we kept him. (This was about 2 yrs ago). His only 'downside' is that he seems jealous of attention given to other animals (not kids, just animals). If we pet the cat, he'll nudge between us or nudge against us until we pet him as well. He's not aggressive, but it's deliberate. He will be in the yard playing until he sees us give attention to the cat, then he runs over. It's not a bad thing, just makes me wonder if he would share well with another dog. The shelter (high kill) in our area is almost full and a 2 yr old border collie was dropped off yesterday. They said he is scared and afraid to eat (but our dog was also that way when he wandered up) but friendly. The pictures show a dog (scared looking) curled up on a cot. The next picture shows him sitting up and 'grinning'. Do you think the two would be compatible? I plan to go look at him today and I thought about taking our border collie there tomorrow to see if the two got along. Space here is not an issue. We have no fences, but we have lots of acreage. I called our neighbors and told them we were thinking about getting another border collie (since ours travels and visits) and they laughed and said they would keep their shoes put up for a while. I'd love to adopt him and DH says to go for it. Any advice for me or suggestions?