:grouphug: :grouphug: So sorry When friends, neighbors, church members ask what they can do. Tell them. Keep a list as you think of things. People are willing to help, even if it is picking up groceries or driving a child to an activity or meeting someone at the airport for you. Keep a small list of what you need and when they offer taking them up on it.

beef broth makes wonderful french onion soup or gazpacho - these would be my top choices :) If you find you don't like the taste of the broth you might be able to use it for deer and critter repellent They use a 'bone sauce' to spray on fruit trees to keep the deer, squirrels whatever away. I have never done it but it is popular with the permaculture gardeners around here.

When I was in college (back in the 70s) I read two books that greatly changed my rather limited understanding of the universe. :) I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings - Maya Angelou - I was thinking about this book again last week when I heard she had passed. Stranger in a Strange Land - Heilein - wow, talk about learning to question 'why' in terms of culture and religion For sheer enjoyment of the flexible use of language..all the books in the inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Guide trilogy :001_smile:

Thank you Laura. The bolded sort of describes my career experience. I completed a general university degree, the company I worked for trained me in Contract Management, I don't believe any of my co-workers had "management" degrees.

I am very interested in learning more about these differences. Does anyone have any concise resources that speak both to education theory and results for graduates? I understand UK does competency style exams, do they compare to the "high stakes' testing here? Do their exams have a better reputation than the ones here? On the high school level I know that the FCAT (Florida) is riddled with problems. I have learned some about the German system since oldest dd is attending Heidelberg University now. She had some difficulty with class placement when she started there, mostly because she had NO GPA. She explained that she homeschooled for High School and graduated from a college that did not do credit hours or grades or have a designated progression of coursework. HA She said one advisor was nervous but let her select classes after she confirmed that she was there on a Fulbright. :001_smile:

How would you apply this? In reality any major, even the hot ones, does not come with a job guarantee. Even if the student does start in their field most people change fields several times in the course of their lives. I am not referring to majors which apply to a specific career such as nursing, teaching, law etc. I might suggest to a child with a 'soft' major to work on the following: Work a job if possible, try for an internship, volunteer, etc. Look around at where you want to go BEFORE final semester of senior year. :001_smile: Take extra 'practical' course work for electives. My music major took an independent study credit in piano tuning. I was a University Studies major, I took electives in accounting and computer science (I ended up working in Contract Management) In the end while their is a huge difference between nursing and liberal arts, there is not that big a difference (career wise) between business and english. Help them see where to shore up the major they are passionate about.

Yes! In fact when oldest dd went to college she was shocked to learn that not everybody bursts into random song all day long. Also.. it can be awkward when the 13 year old keeps bursting out in songs from Rent when you are meeting with your more religious homeschool friends. Or the songs from 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee (particularly the one about the unfortunate erecxion. :lol:

In allowing children to make their own choices it has to be understood that not all 'right' choices are the same 'right' choices I would pick. "Right" does not equal "what my mother would do". :) The slide from 'obey mom' to 'learn what is right for you' is a long path and starts somewhere around the tween/teen years.

I am curious about the biblical principles but I don't want to derail the thread. My background is as a devote Christian who raised my girls in a church community and still encouraged them to question everything. This just means that you and I have a different view. You mention other tweens, there is a profound difference between teaching children (Girl Scouts, 4H, Co-op) and being their mother. My girls needed to know they could ask, even before obeying. Obviously they were and are capable of telling the difference between an urgent safety issue and an average request. I saw myself as responsible not just for their actions right then but for developing their abilities to choose their own actions in the future. There comes a time early in the teen years when 'do as your told, then ask' has the same effect (negative imo) as 'don't bother asking, you have no choices'. Obviously, your mileage will vary and what my girls needed and I wanted will be different from the choices your family might make.

Then they come up with their own answers, which are almost never the lesson you want them to learn.

Already like this but needed to like again. :iagree:

How would that work exactly? Just curious mostly. I see your children are still little, assumption based on avatar and siggy, so for a certain extent that would work for them. "Come here now" "Drop that now" I can see those commands as an issue of safety with explanations later. How do you see that for slightly older children and teens? When do they get to ask 'why'? Do you plan to review it later? They will not be likely to bring it up to you again after receiving their orders, but they will remember and they will wonder. The answer they will give themselves is unlikely to be the one you want them to learn.

Just saying...I highly doubt it is a coincidence. If that example is at all representative of the child's life, and I get that I don't know that for certain, I would run run run and never look back.

Children really don't see the world the way adults, especially their parents, do. No amount of explaining it helps until they are out on their own. They can then come home and see their parents from the outside. I had a discussion with one of my girls last summer where she mentioned several childhood events and then told me I had been right. :thumbup1: I wish I had had a magical time traveling friend who could have told me that back then. :lol: No advice...just keep talking to them and letting them talk to you

Dear OP, I am sorry you and your dd are going through this. I want to emphasize what heartlikealion said in the bolded area. I am a Christian and give to my church, but I have met many Christians who support church project, missions, etc. whom I would not consider generous people. There can be (I have no idea if this applies to your situation) a "Church" giving mindset that is ultimately selfish and unkind. I know that sounds counter-intuitive but it does exist. It is possible that DD15 (or her older sister) perceive you in this way, whether it is true or not. Please speak to your 15 dd and ask what she sees. Don't mention the sister. Obviously, I don't know your heart or what dd15 is thinking. If this doesn't apply ignore it. Older sister does have an impact, but there may be a misunderstanding closer to home as well. I really wish you the best, I hope open discussions clear the air.

This exactly. I have one in Art School and one studying Opera in Germany. Yes, people ask "what will they do with that?" I look at them like I don't understand the question and say 'whatever they want to do". I really don't understand that question. To me college was about growing and exploring. I have never considered it a 'trade school' to learn a job. Unless the job requires a specific set of information (engineering, medicine etc), most people develop a good education and apply those skills to whatever job they are interested in. I had a "University Studies" degree and worked as a Contract Manager. My employer taught me the specific work order software we used and we did constant training on negotiations and Federal Acquistions Regulations. I don't remember those majors in my school...ha

I rented a house in Sarasota last year through Home Away. I needed a place that could sleep 8 and this was very comfortable. And much less expensive than 4 hotel rooms. :thumbup1: We were there for my daughters college graduation so most of our time was already scheduled but we did make trips to the beach and to the Ringling Art Museum. Sarasota also has a nice down town for dining.

I listen to TED talks when I drive. I don't have a functioning radio/CD player in my van so I put my iPhone in the cup holder and play random TED talks through the website (haven't downloaded app yet, just use safari brower) I have heard some very good ones, unfortunately I can't remember the speaker's names. :huh: Sometimes a topic comes up that I know nothing about. I usually find those just as interesting, but a few I just had to skip over. I find I am enjoying it better than the radio now.

It is not unusual for mom to let the kittens wander around and play with the boys. Really...she is not behaving oddly...typical cat mother. Don't try to keep all of the them. Trap, neuter release for mom. She will either stay and keep other strays away, or she will wander off. adult cats are quite self sufficient. Shelter for kittens. Tell your boys the kittens are more likely to find homes, especially if they have been handled and are kid tolerant. Most outdoor cats do fine with flea drops. I have not seen fleas ride into the house on children, but it is possible. Check the other flea threads for details. I have owned cats forever and have only had to treat one for worms and that was related to fleas. Rabies are the only shots required by the state. Since, you said you live in Florida I have one other bit of advice. Set up food dish either in the house (enclosed porch, laundry room etc) and put down a little food at a time. Do not leave bowl lying around with extra food you will attract raccoons.

Flea treatments. Depending on where you live that can be as simple as a flea collar, or if your area is anything like Florida then monthly flea drops. They are not difficult to do and it is easier to stay on top of fleas than it is to fight an infestation. Again, it depends on where you live. We never had problems in New Mexico, Florida is harder. As far as food goes, dry kibble is fine you do not need to do the canned unless you want to. The humane society often does low cost rabies shots as well as neutering. Rabies shots are the only ones I really worry about. If it is outside at night and you live in a cold area you might set up a box (think small dog house) in the winter.

When the kittens are old enough to leave the mom, take them to the shelter, they have a fair chance of adoption, especially if you and the kids handle them a little. Get momma cat fixed, this is often free or super cheap at the humane society or rescue operations. Keep momma cat as an outdoor pet, she already knows your kids. She will keep down the pest population and her living there will keep other cats away. If the boys want pets an outdoor cat is a fairly easy, low maintenance animal.

Chopped, tossed with olive oil, spread on a cookie sheet, sprinkled with sea salt and baked until crispy.

How old is your son? If he wore the bracelet he would not necessarily need to discuss his medical reasons with random strangers, perhaps you could help him rehearse some non-committal replies. My daughter wore a bracelet for several years as a child. Several times we were asked by ride operators (Disney, County Fair) and one time by a tour operator (homeschool group touring a factory), because of concerns that there might be seizure triggers involved. We explained the issue was not seizures and they did not need any more information. I had not realized how many different work environments involved employees staying alert for the bracelets on children. Several times waitresses would check with her in case she had food allergies. I guess they figure adults know the risks. :) ETA: she was actually stopped from one risky activity that I had not realized included high impact bouncing. She was stopped at the check in point and questioned, when they saw she had a bleeding disorder they held her back.

I am learning a lot with this thread. I had no idea medicaid was different from state to state, although I guess I should have picked that up from things I have seen in the news. My only experience has been with employer provided group insurance, the coverage and paper work varies so greatly there. My mom was under a mix of VA and Medicare for several years before she passed. The paperwork was a nightmare but the Doctors were all very good and I don't remember a problem with medication.